Note: Actually I never read part 1, because it was a lemon and the mods of the board it was posted on censored it. It was written by BigShotJordan and the entire title was "Ritsuko's device-the dirtiest story I'll ever write". Unfortunately I couldn't find the commented censored thing, which was there before. Anyway, if it was the way I thought it was, here goes pt 2 (Told from Maya Ibuki's view, btw) :
As I inserted the keycard I felt such a great tickling in my stomach, and not just there, all over my body and inside of it I had that sensation of joy and fear, the sensation that I was doing something really bad and that would bring no good, but of which I was proud. The little light blinked to green. “Access approved” the kanji read and the door opened slowly as its motors slightly sang. Each part of me wanted to jump into another direction. I had never been at the terminal dogma before and I actually wasn’t supposed to be there either. I was so exited and nervous. I stepped carefully onto the elevator’s floor as if it could break under my weight. The doors closed behind me and it started to descend slowly into the infinitely deep darkness. Once again the motors’ slight song. This time in another tone. I almost felt like a claustrophobic in there, and you know I’m not, but the thought of how many things they would hide so deep under ground and under so much lock just didn’t stop to haunt me.
If I hadn’t worn a clock I’d say those five minutes in the elevator were several hours. Finally I hit the ground, the motors silenced, the doors sighed and opened. In front of me there was a long dark corridor with many doors along its walls. Each of those doors held an enormous secret never been told, behind each of them a great unknown was waiting, everywhere there could be something lurking, a thing breathing heavily, expecting me to... I felt the enormous desire of just returning to the elevator, but I didn’t dare to give up like that. I didn’t want to do this, but I wanted to have done it already, so I didn’t have to pass through all of this.
-Alright- I said- how about if I just open one door, look what’s behind and then leave immediately?
I thought it was a good idea. I said it. Then I slowly started walking towards one of the doors until I finally reached it. I inserted the keycard; the door sighed and stepped aside, leaving a hole in the wall. Behind it there was darkness. I stepped forward into it and noticed I was shaking.
-Fool! -I said-There, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I, I’ll turn on the light. Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do.
I put myself together to turn around and click on the button. Click. The whispering of the fluorescent lights as they turned on. My breath calmed down. The bare fact of there being light automatically made me feel much surer. Still I knew that I turned around now, I would see that thing I was not supposed to see. But which I came to see. Once again I took a deep breath and turned around quickly so I didn’t have time to regret.
What I saw was horrible. It was no crucified angel, no floating corpses, no human-angel hybrid, not even the human enhancement project itself. The machine was very sophisticated and had a strange propulsion I could not figure out. It was of the height of a person and could be set in many different positions, due to its flexibility. It had three ends, each of them with a small sphere on its top and a hole on the top of the sphere. The two the two lower ends were more or less together while the third one was at one mans length distance from them. Or rather one woman’s length.
I knew it was completely functional; I didn’t need to make the try. And the simple idea of turning it on was just so disgusting it almost cut my breath. How could something that sick exist on this planet? Few people had access to the terminal dogma and neither commander Ikari nor Ryuji Khaji could have used this. I couldn’t stay here any longer, I felt so dirty, I wanted to throw up. I turned off the light and ran into the elevator. Once again the elevator made me feel claustrophobic. This time I wasn’t exited anymore, but I needed to escape, go far, far away from that thing, forget it and never come back.
I stepped out of the elevator and back onto the surface, back into the real world. I felt dizzy and everything looked like a video. So unreal. Or maybe it was more like an overdose of reality after a bad dream, and I still couldn’t manage to do the transition. I bumped into the bathroom and suddenly noticed I was washing my face. It felt refreshing, so I did it again. I looked at my image in the mirror to prove myself that I was still the same. Behind me were the white toilets. On my sides the walls with white majolica. Yes, this was the same old bathroom I knew. I was back in reality. I tried to think back for a moment, but the image of the terminal dogma now was just a dark formless shadow in my rear head, a forgotten memory, a ghost. But the conscious part of me knew it was real.
-Maya! - Oh my God. It was her. The real her. I didn’t dare to look but remained staring at the sewer, where the water slipped away forming spires. And roaring. - Where have you been? Come now. We have some work to do.
I looked up and saw her face. Her face I had longed for so often. It was hard to believe the person I had admired, the one who used that thing down there at the dogma and the one standing in front of me right then where one and the same. I didn’t know what to say. Tell her I had seen...? Tell her I had always...?
-Yes doctor. -I said.
We walked out of the bathroom, back to the Magi. Back to the routine, the good old everyday normality. Everything as it had always been and would always be. But I knew it would never be the same again. Or maybe it had never even been the way I had thought it was.
I couldn’t concentrate. Could you have concentrated? I don’t remember anymore what I was supposed to do. Just my mind in chaos. Think of her. Of the machine. Think of her using the machine. Think of my many dreams about her. Feeling so guilty.
Next thing I remember is me at home, in my bathroom. I undressed slowly, stealthy, ashamed. I looked down to this body, which was mine, or which owned me, this female body to which I was attached. I felt so dirty. Turned on the water. It made me wet. But I was still dirty. It was not that Ritsuko who I had desired. Why could she even have done that? She just couldn’t have done that. It was so not-her. The Ritsuko I had known was a nice person, a brilliant scientist, an open mind, beautiful and pure. Why the device? Why not me? No. How could I even think of that? Me? I had idealized that moment so often. Not for the sex. No! I just wanted to be infinitely together with her, away from the bodies, away from this disgusting female body the useless water couldn’t wash off me. I slip down the wall and sit onto the floor. The water keeps on falling, monotone, impartial, like said old rain. It wets my skin, wets my tears, but I remain dirty.
