In the Greek myth of Persephone and her descent to the underworld, she was playfully romping through the fields and admiring the flowers when suddenly the mouth of the earth erupted and opened up, from where Hades, the god of wealth and the Underworld, burst forth and dragged her away in his chariot. Persephone's mother, the grain goddess Demeter, searched for her all around the world. Demeter cursed and blighted the land, making no crops grow until her daughter is returned to her. Still, Demeter searched until a spring told her about what happened to Persephone, saying that her lovely daughter has now become the queen of the underworld. Demeter was severly angered with what happened and demanded her release from the king of the gods, Zeus. Hades consented with the condition that Persephone must descend back again in the Underworld and stay there for half a year's cycle to rule with him, then return to the lands above for the remaining half. With this cycle, the ancient Greeks explained the cycle of the seasons.

While this story is filled with mystical and cosmological knowledge, I feel it applies to me and my lifestyle as a PLU. Ancient wisdom collides with my personal life, and so I have undergone a Rite of Passage, and am now a new individual.

My lifestyle started a long time ago during the formative years of my life, but took shape in Manila. I lived with a group of PLU friends for almost a year, and those days and months defined what I really wanted to do with my life. Now, I know that living with other men who have the same sexual inclinations as I do in one roof would cause eyebrows to fly upwards. Images of 24/7 orgies and sexual innuendoes would understandably float before your eyes. But one reason why I have such a healthy outlook on this alternatve lifestyle is because of the respect and familial love we shared in that house. We were a band of brothers who were treading the same path, and we treated each other as a family. We had a father, a "mother", brothers, "sister", even a "grandmother" and an "aunt"! It helped me gain my perspective that we as a community of guys who walk a narrow balance could actually make it and be at one with society.

During those days, my life centered around chatting, PExing, decent EB's, dating, everything PLU. Saturday was exclusively reserved for Malate, and I religously troop over to that place and dance or drink or talk the night away. It was an affirmation for myself that I could live my life this way and still come out unscathed. These were the days when, like Persephone, I was admiring the beauty of the world, exulting in her generosity and generally glad to be alive.

Suddenly, Mount Aetna exploded and Hades came out, abducting me and my power.

My father suddenly stopped sending us money from Japan, which could only translate to one thing: a new grilfriend. My brother was working, and so was I, but we knew that with the bills and everything around the home, our money wouldn't last us out. I admit that I sometimes live beyond my means, and so my bank account was blown away like powder. We needed something to help us stay afloat, just until my father gets back to his senses and starts sending us money again.

And so, I slowly retreated from the community. Taking up more and more hours for work really drained my mind and soul, but my body carried me through. I was going through the motions, wondering whether everyone in the group was present and currently dancing the night away. Sometimes, the best sacrifice is the one which causes you the most pain. I felt that I was addicted to the lifestyle, and was forced to go to a "PLU rehab".

But still I tried my best to show up whenever there was time. I just couldn't resist the lights and the intense freedom I feel whenever I go there and dance.

A call came from my aunt in Pampanga, and she told me that there was a job opening in one of the companies there. I was a shoo-in because of a strong inside contact, and the compensation was significantly higher than the measly change I was getting from my work. And so I was faced with a tough decision: will I strongly try to survive in the Metropolis despite how hard things have been with my family, or will I give in to Hades' advances and lock myself up in the Underworld far from civilization and thrive?

In the end, Hades gave me no choice and dragged me with him. I lost my job in the city.

And so, for almost seven months, I was in suspended animation and lived my life in Pampanga. As Persephone was queen to the souls in Hades, so was I quickly promoted up the company heirarchy. But as the daughter of the goddess longed for freedom and release back into the lands above, so did I long to be back in the metropolis. I felt like I was slowly deteriorating from staying in the boonies for too long.

I had a talk with my aunt about how I was feeling, and she reassured me that everything would turn out fine. I was just missing something important to me, and I just needed time to acclimatize to life away from all the hustle and bustle of the city. It was my own choice whether to be happy or not where I was now.

Wise words, and I have to honestly say that I did try. I tried to be happy, I tried building friendships, I tried being content with where I was. There were night spots in Pampanga, and of course there were also PLU's there. But I always felt that there was something missing. Besides, even though I now had the money I need, I didn't have the time to enjoy these things because I was always buried in my work.

Thankfully, Demeter looked for me and demanded for my release. The light came back when my father suddenly called us and told that he was sorry and that he promises to never neglect us again. We've all heard that before, but my mother happily announced that there was no need for me to stay in Pampanga any longer. I was ecstatic at the thought of returning to the welcoming arms of the lands above once again. I quickly packed up, worked out problems in the company I was working for and got out neatly from my employment there. I was given an opportunity to relive my former life once more, but I was now a different guy from my former self. I decided to carve out a new life for myself, starting over and digging deeper roots.

Amazingly, things I left behind both changed and stayed the same. Basically, they were the same faces and names and friendships. But there was also an intrinsic change which couldn't be denied. I was glad to see them once again.

After all was said and done, what happened to me was an inevitable initiation. In magickal religions, a person goes through a symbolic death and rebirth before initiated. This is also extant in tribal and indigenous people all around the world. I have gone through my symbolic death and have just exploded into new life. What it entails for me is still a mystery, but I am sure that, like Persephone, it will lead me to greater heights and open myself up to new dimensions. All because my former life died and I am now reborn in a new world.