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REVENGE

How to Make Bugs Breakdance

Bugs can breakdance, despite popular belief!

The first thing you will need is a neat pair of tweezers. Their use will become obvious later. While tweezers work best, I also recommend scissors and (oops.) exacto-knives for those without shaky hands.

The next thing you will need is a bug. I highly recommend flies, as they are abundant, and nobody really misses them. Some people get angry if you use insects like spiders or crickets. (Don't ask me, darn those enviromentalists.)

Flies can be found around window sills, fresh meat, or any beer-guzzling father. They are pretty much easy to trap, but the catch is that you'll need them alive. Fly swatters and newspapers should not be used to catch these little buggers. Horse flies also are not recommended, as they are supposed to bite. The common house fly works best.

Now, capturing these pests alive is the thing. Get a glass or something, and trap it. Wait a while, and watch it fly feebly around the jar looking for a way out. If you're smarter than you look, it won't get out. It's real fun to shake the jar and stun the sucker.

Take the fly from the jar with a 'kleenex' or something of the like, and hold it so it's pitiful wings are accessable to you. Now, with the tweezers I mentioned above, pull his wings off.

(AUTHORS NOTE: Some lesser minds have accually called me 'sadistic' because of the fact that I pull flies wings off. Well, you don't hear them complaining, do you?)

Anyways, now that his wings are gone, all he can do is hop and run around like a complete fool. Now, here's the fun part.(What do you mean, pulling the wings off was the fun part!?)

The first trick is to teach it the backspin. Put your new-found pet in the (a) corner in your room. The fly will then attempt to climb the wall. But, the poor, pitiful creature won't make it. He will fall to the dusty floor onto his back. This is where you come in. If he isn't spinning around, then give him a little help. They will be back-spinning in no time at all!

You'll notice that flies without wings jump around a lot. This really looks like a neat act, and they can really jump far. (Coming next: Fly Olympics? Nahhh...)

To make a fly moonwalk, watch it as it crawls around on your dresser top. Give it a fling with your index finger, and it will almost "fly" across the space it's in! Not only does it go backwards, but upside down, rightside up, right, left, north, south, etc...

My favorite trick is to get a paper plate(You know, the cheap ones your mother buys from K-Mart...) and put your friend on top of the plate. Bounce him up and down on the plate, and watch him attempt to walk afterwards. It's really neat.

Well, this is just about all of the neat little tricks you can do with bugs. You can take up boring Sunday afternoons with this pasttime, and maybe we'll se a breakdancing bugs contest one of these days. Maybe not.

(ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: spray them with 'Windex' and other household items. They really get weird.)

I just also wanted to point out that it has been said that pulling wings off of flies were beginning signs of insanity. We are not in ANY way responsible for people's sanity, after they take up this sport. It was rumored that Charles Manson liked to play with flies...

l i q u i db l u e

All content copyright© 2002 by liquid blue. If there is anything that should not be here please notify me and it will be removed. If you fuck with our shit we'll track you down and mutilate your genitals.

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