By: Karasu
Email: [email protected]
Fandom: GW
Pairing: Treize/Zechs
Content: angst, alternate timeline ((no Endless Waltz, and differed ending
for series)), deathfic
Song: 304 goushitsu, hakushi no sakura [room 304, cherry blossoms of white
death] Lyrics - Kyo/Music - Die ((tis a Dir en Grey song, if you didn't know))
May 7, 2001
~ * ~ * ~
Tonight, the cherry blossoms flutter, scatter, hurriedly.
From the window, always unchanging the cherry blossoms, in the breeze
flutter flutter flutter flutter and dance
On a clean, white bed situated in a tidy room, a thin body lay. It was the
form of a young man with crystal eyes that stared blankly up at the pale
ceiling painted with sunlight flowing in from the window. It was silent in
the room, unless he moved, and then his IV would make a soft sound and the
sheets would shift, he could become aware of his surroundings. But instead,
when the sun wasn't glaring straight into the window any longer, he
preferred to stare at the beautiful cheery blossoms outside the window. The
flowers were just beginning to bloom and he enjoyed watching the petals and
leaves sway in the light breezes. It was something that didn't change on
him; they were something that were merely there.
He didn't have to remember.
today, too, my senses are fading
who are you? I cannot recall anything
take my hand, reassuringly
in your grasping hand tears overflowed and fell
The nurse walked into the room and ran through a regular check on him,
talking to him about the news and asking him simple questions that he
refused to answer. When she finished, she stopped and stared down at him
for a while, then announced that there was a visitor for him. It didn't
matter to the man, and he continued staring out the window, watching the
sakura.
There was a slight squeak of tires entering the room and finally crystal
eyes moved towards the door to view the man that was wheeling himself in.
The man had tawny, short hair and sapphire eyes that glowed with an intense
light. His legs were both in casts and there was a bandage wrapped about
his head. Momentarily the man on the bed wondered what had happened. But it
didn't matter, shouldn't matter.
"Oh thank God..." the newcomer murmured, moving his wheelchair up to the
bed. He reached out his hands and captured the other's hands in his grasp.
"You made it out alive, I was not sure I would see you face-to-face again."
By that time the man was rubbing his thumbs lightly over the pale hand he
had captured. When no response was being issued from the other, the
newcomer opened his mouth again. "What is wrong...? Mirialdo..."
"Pardon, if I'm to know you." The pale-haired man withdrew his hand and
turned his gaze back up to the ceiling. "The staff should have told you I
have lost my memory..." /and my mind./
"Zechs... Mirialdo, surely things will come in time. Don't worry on it."
"I'm not."
The response was very brief and sounded like the closing statement on all
that Zechs would speak. Treize moved his hand to entwine with the other's,
however, and stared at the man looking so frail in the bed. Unwanted, thin
liquid built within the sapphire eyes and slowly thin streams of tears
traced down his jaw, although the rest of his face remained indifferent.
Zechs didn't seem to notice, nor care, his eyes fixated on the empty ceiling.
your eyes endlessly streaming with tears were telling something
your fragrance, for some reason seems dear...
in this room surely I will lose my life alone, or so it seems
flowers that no-one can possibly discover....
rapidly falling flowers, that float in the breeze a white hospital room,
that blows in the breeze
Each day after that the man that Zechs had no recollection of would return
to the room. On a few occasions he brought flowers, or a book, or some
other such thing. In the beginning of each visit his eyes would hold such a
great hope and determination, but by the end that had fallen and only a
deep sorrow was left bare and plain in the sapphire eyes.
It seemed so cruel that he was causing the other such pain. Who was he?
Treize Kushrenada... that's who the man had introduced himself as. But that
said nothing. And Treize wouldn't talk much on the past, only skimming
things - saying he hoped to remind Zechs of his memories. But that was not
fairing well and Zechs found no progress. He knew only the hospital room he
never left. Knew only the sakura outside his window - the blooms were
falling...
There was nothing beyond the room and those blossoms. There couldn't be.
Treize merely floated in from some oblivion and then faded back into that
area when he left through the door. To Zechs, the room was his life and
that's where it had begun and where it would end. It made no sense to drag
that out.
the pain, day by day, is building up, worsening
this thinning, ugly body you held me tight, embracing me..
He awoke in pain, so much pain. It hurt to move... it hurt to lay still...
There was literally nothing to eliminate the pain. A nurse gave him
painkillers, hoping that would help, but hours later they hadn't been
effective. A few doctors had come in, checking him over as he lay in the
intense pain, finally giving into whimpers and faint moans. He heard
someone comment on his weight and how overly thin he was, even with the
meals he was fed and the continued IV in his arm.
The next day no doctors came, although when he awoke a nurse handed him
some pills to "help stop the pain" before leaving him for a few hours. The
pain continued, and it seemed to him that the pills had done nothing.
Still, a regular visit by Treize occurred early afternoon and Zechs stared
at him as the other man wheeled into the room. The former general was
looking much better than the first day he had seen him - met him - and the
man glowed with an unprepared beauty.
Seeing that beauty wrapped about the other, Zechs shrunk in on himself,
feeling the skin hanging off his bones and the scars that lined his body.
/What an ugly creature,/ he thought. His arms came up slowly and he tried
covering himself, curling up into a ball. But his body wasn't working right
and he couldn't make it. Frustrated with himself and with the pain that had
increased with his slight movement, Zechs felt the tears spring to his
eyes. He hated not knowing... not being able to do anything... to be so weak.
He didn't notice with warm arms circled his shoulders and pulling him
close. A head nestled on his shoulder, but Zechs let his tears fall,
unheeded, and didn't pay attention to the man whose embrace he was in.
as my time of death came near, one important person I remembered
tomorrow I'll become ash, return to dust
from the window, I can see the cherry blossoms underneath those blossoms
I want to sleep
wrapped in warmth in your hand....
Zechs sat silently, completely still, with his chair facing straight out
the window and facing the trees that were shedding little pink petals. The
blossoms were dying... their colors fading and then fluttering away in the
wind. He felt that fading with himself... Felt himself loosing more and
more of himself each day until he, too, would loose hold on the strange
life he had and then fall from his support and fly away... dying.
As he stared out the window, focusing on one blossom still clinging to the
branch, he was startled with the image of a young girl with straw-colored
hair and a sweet face. Who was she? He felt such a protection for her... A
deep caring and other emotions that he had not felt ever before. Who was
that girl? He had never seen her... perhaps... a memory. A memory that he
could only imagine, yet not puzzle out. He clung to that image, however,
and imagined what her voice might sound like, who she might be. A friend,
perhaps, or a family member of some sort. But who? It bothered him not to
know, but he wouldn't ask. He didn't speak, not since that long ago day
when he had first come in contact with Treize.
Treize entered the room and wheeled over to sit beside the pale-haired man
at the window. In silence they remained that way, for once Treize was not
attempting to urge the other out of his compact universe. Although, as the
silence dragged on and the minutes passed, Zechs found his mouth - lips,
and tongue, and jaw - working to form words. First silently, then,
"And tomorrow it's likely I won't be sitting here, or be laying on the bed.
I'll have vanished and faded, dying away. But it wouldn't be sad because I
would have it ensured that I lay beneath the sakura - the fallen sakura -
and it would be nice. It would be beautiful. Seeing that girl's face,
because she means something. And then you would still hold me, like you
first did. I'm sure you would. So it's okay to fade like that. It's what
I'd like."
Had there been a response from his companion, Zechs never knew. His head
ached with increased pain and he was only aware of his small whimper as his
vision faded away and his body began falling awkwardly off his chair.
room 304 in quiet, while they carried me
so that I will never forget you
The bed was covered with a white sheet; the shape of a body could be seen
but no features were to be shown. The room was very quiet and the
atmosphere had the feel of some ancient attic that had not been touched,
was not to be touched. Yet Treize quietly moved himself into the room,
taking careful breaths as he approached the covered bed. This room, room
304, where his former lover had been kept was the same, really, as it had
ever been. The chair was still facing out the window, where there were only
a handful of cheery blossoms still clinging on.
Hesitantly Treize lifted the six roses from his lap - three white and three
red - and laid them over Zechs' covered body. He was aware of the few tears
that trekked down his face, leaving pale stains. The man had never
remembered, never recalled what had happened previously. But... was it
better for him not to know of the war? Not to think of it...? Treize wasn't
sure. And to him, it didn't make sense. Didn't make sense that it was Zechs
who died while he lived - he who had been fighting in a mobile suit, in
space, without a space suit. His suit had been so badly damaged, and parts
of it had exploded... He never had thought he'd live. Let alone survive
after the explosions and through a hospital.
And the other was dead. It didn't seem right... it just didn't fit. He
bowed his head, bringing his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose
while he calmed himself. "Mirialdo... I'm so sorry we parted... Ai shiteru,
itooshi... Rest in that peaceful place that you wished for..." His words
faded softly, trailing to a whisper. There were some people that came in,
pushing him aside, and they lifted Zechs' wrapped body without much care
and carried him out of the room. Treize watched after, a bit hopelessly,
and noted the scattered roses that he had offered for a last farewell.
from here, with the cherry blossoms, I sway in the breeze and I will
remember you
It was so silent. Room 304 was dead, empty. He looked around, but the only
interest was out the window, with the sakura. He wheeled himself towards
the sight, coming to rest where he had sat beside Zechs only yesterday.
He stared at the blossoms, watched as the breeze tugged at the ones still
clinging on and then watched as they fell from their perch and split apart,
the petals falling separate ways. The sakura's life was so short - which
made it the flower symbolizing the samurai - but it was very beautiful.
Treize reached a hand out to rest against the glass and he stared out, eyes
unfocused. There was only one remaining blossom that he could see...
"...Mirialdo...Farewell, dear friend..."
The pink petals were pulled away and scattered...
fluttering, fluttering
fluttering, fluttering
The wind picked up the petals falling and those that hand fallen and
suddenly a small storm of sakura passed the window, dancing before Treize's
eyes. For a moment he caught a reflection... the reflection of a man that
had sat with a blank stare for weeks. Slowly he turned, looking to the
chair beside him.
There was no one there; it remained empty. Treize held back the
disappointment, the new sorrow. On the windowpane, his fingers curled into
a loose fist as his head bowed. He'd said good-bye, but he wasn't truly
ready...
Outside the sakura continued to flow away in the breeze, spreading the
message of a beautiful one's death.
~~~Owari~~~