Title: The Morning After
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Zell/Irvine
Disclaimer: They�re not mine. Please don�t sue; I have a cat to feed
Notes: Completely experimental. Written from Irvine�s POV, in first person present tense, which wasn�t as easy as expected, so please excuse any slips.
***
My vision is stained red as I become aware of being awake. The salty tang of the sea air lingers around my nostrils, but its not too overpowering. I bath in the warmth as sunlight covers my bare skin like a blanket.
Mmmm�..
This is what I love about the Garden being at sea; I don�t need to shut the blinds. I could walk around stark naked and no one would know, except a few gulls, and I doubt that they would give a damn. I like sleeping with the blinds open, I can go to bed watching the stars and wake up to blue skies. Just like camping out in the open, only without the bite bugs chowing down on my ass. I hate insects.
The window must be open because the caress of the warm fingers of the sun is twinned with the scrape of icy nails as a sea breeze blows over me. I reach for the covers to pull them over me and discover two things:
1) The sheets are scratchy cotton, not my silk sheets.
2) One half of my body is completely pinned down by someone else lying over my chest.
I deduce from this that I�m not in my bed and that I obviously had a good time last night, whether I remember it or not. My first bet is on Selphie. The girl is so into me. I force my eyes open, sleep making even that task slow. No hurry. Squinting down to my chest, all I can make out is a mass of blurred blond.
Oh. Ok. Quistis then? Well, that would be a conquest to crow about. The figure stirs slightly before snuggling into my shoulder. The sun is low in the sky and glinting off the glass of the window, half blinding me, but out of the corner of my eye I catch sight of a pale white cheek, made even more milky by a black shape.
A seagull calls outside and I make the effort to turn my head back to the window. I watch as it circles twice before flying out of sight, leaving behind clear azure sky. Its going to be a beautiful day and I�m pleased to report to although I must have got rat arsed last night, my head is relatively hang over free. The secret is to drink plenty of water�. Zell?� Oh, holy shit!
I sit bolt upright, virtually catapulting the dozing blond from my shoulder. He slips off the edge of the bed, scrabbling for something to grab, and lands with a thud in a pile of limbs and bed sheets on the floor.
I�m left, bemused, blinking and completely butt naked on the bed. As Zell begins to stand up, rubbing his elbow, I grab the pillow to cover my modesty, something he seems less concerned about. I hastily avert my eyes and as I look down I get my second shock of the morning.
�What the fuck?!?�
Zell scratches his head. He has the vacant look of someone who has been woken up too fast. But he doesn�t seem very surprised to find me in his bed.
�Well, good morning to you too. S�up?�
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out but some embarrassing noises. Take a deep breath. Smell the salt air. Now, try again.
�What am I doing here? And what in Hyne�s name is this?� I ask as I gesture to my navel.
�It�s a tattoo.� He tells me in a tone that�s so matter of fact that I can almost see Squall saying it.
I wish he hadn�t said that. Not henna, not marker pen. A tattoo. On my body. My perfect, unblemished body.
I fall back onto the bed. My hands rake through my hair, which I find is unbound and cascading everywhere. Zell in the meantime turns his back on me and pulls on a pair of boxer shorts. Then he turns back, picks up the sheets and lays them over me. Never let it be said that he isn�t thoughtful.
�But�Why?� I�m asking myself more than anything, trying to jog some memories.
�You said you wanted a tattoo like mine.� Zell tells me as he sits on the edge of the bed. �We talked you out of having one on your face.�
Thank Hyne for small blessings.
�Who�s �we�?� I ask as I prop myself up on my elbows.
�Well, me and Selphie mostly. Squall was trying to talk you into a full body one.�
Suddenly several memories flash before me. I�m almost grateful because it would have been a great loss if I�d totally forgotten about Squall karaoke singing �Tainted Love�. We�d only invited him because we thought that he�d say no, but he didn�t. After that, we�d expected the night to be a bust, but it seems that if you get a few vodkas down his neck, Squall defrosts quite nicely.
The tattoo parlour must have come after we got thrown out of the nightclub, because I can remember that part of the night clearly now. That was all Squall�s fault. He�d pinched a bouncer�s ass. Not a male bouncer mind, no, the only female bouncer in the place. Take Fujin�s personality and stick it in the body of Raijin. We�re talking female shot-putters here. I was afraid to even look in her direction for fear of having my eyes yanked out. Squall on the other hand� Well, suffice to say that he bounced twice when he hit the pavement.
�I don�t think its that bad really.� Zell smiles at me. �It�s actually quite sexy.�
He pulls the sheet down past my navel playfully and begins to run a finger over the inky curls there. I bat his hand away lazily, but it returns, so I swat it again. It stays away this time. He turns, facing away, the offending appendage dangling limply between his legs.
�You were really drunk last night, huh?�
The defeated tone of his voice shoots spears of guilt through me.
�Uh huh... Look, Zell��
He turns his head and looks at me over his shoulder. He has a toothy grin plastered all over his face. It�s so obviously fake that I can�t help wondering if he�s doing it on purpose so that I know that it is.
�Hey! No big deal. Just forget about it. It�s not like anything happened.�
Liar.
I want to say something, but there�s no easy way to dissolve this situation. A thought occurs to me. Maybe I should dismiss it as an unimportant detail, but I can�t help feeling that it is important. I have to ask.
�Hang on. We were in Balamb last night. How come the Garden�s at sea?�
�The last I saw of Squall, he was heading towards the bridge.�
�And you didn�t think to stop him?�
�I had other things on my mind.�
He smiles down at me and I suddenly catch a glimpse of something burrowed deep in my short-term memory. Him. Looking down at me, his face bathed in silvery moonlight. His blue eyes dark with passion. His lips part gently in a sigh, his mouth curling up at the edges faintly.
I physically feel my eyes widen at the realisation that I was on the bottom! Me! The uke! My ego feels bruised, but apart from that emotion I don�t know quite what to do with this knowledge, so I shake the memory from my head in favour of more urgent matters.
�Don�t you think we should go and make sure we�re not about to crash into anything?�
Zell nods thoughtfully before getting up to pull on some clothes. I fish around over the edge of the bed until I find my jeans. It�s not easy to pull them on under the bed sheets. Then I get up to put my shirt on. It�s more than a little crumpled, but I don�t suppose anyone will notice. New smells assault my nostrils now. Although different from the salt water outside, they have a familiar comfort of their own. Mostly smoke and alcohol, but also something less familiar, and quite unexpected. Ammonia? It must be my imagination.
Zell slips on his trainers and heads for the door. Where the hell are my shoes and socks? Ah well, it won�t hurt to pad around the Garden barefoot. It�s not like there�s anything on the immaculately clean tiles to hurt myself on.
The journey to the third floor is uneventful. It�s a Sunday, nothing much is happening at all. As soon as the lift whirrs to a halt and we step into the office, the jagged sound of snoring can be heard, ringing around the spacious office. Squall is under his desk, his boots sticking out the front side. I walk around to the other side. He�s lying on his back, his mouth hanging open so that I can see straight down his dark pink throat. His hair� I have to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.
�How did that happen?�
�Huh?� Zell asks eloquently as he joins my side to have a good look. His brows knit together as he tries his damnedest to remember. I�m glad I�m not the only one to forget considerably important details about the previous night.
Squall�s hair is blond.
�I think he bought some bleach at an all night chemist�?� Zell�s voice goes up in pitch at the end of the sentence. He�s asking me? Huh, because I�ve remembered so much of everything else� �Then we broke into some public toilets to do it for him.�
Oh yes, so we did. We were quite the little vandals last night weren�t we? Selphie put it on for him, then we sat around having the kind of deep and meaningful conversation that only drunks have. Some considerable time after Squall complained of his scalp burning, I helped Zell wash it out.
Further memories flash past my mind, too fast to grasp for any real amount of time; Squall�s head in a basin, my hands tangling in his silky hair, trying to wash the bleach out. Zell�s arms twining around mine to reach my side of Squall�s head, hands brushing, bodies jostling for the same space in front of the tiny sink, mmm�. I�m starting to see quite how I ended up in his bed. Who�d have guessed he could be that subtle?
Squall�s hair suffered for it though. It�s not the most professional of dye jobs. The roots of his hair are white blond, the rest of it ranges in shades from sunkissed to what I suppose could be called caramel, although honestly, its orange. It has dried out spiky and stuck together in clumps. He looks like he has an albino hedgehog hibernating on his head.
Serves him right for trying to get me to have a full body tattoo. At least his will grow out.
Zell is already walking away towards the elevator that will take us up to the bridge. I follow, stepping onto it just as it begins to move. As we reach the top I can make out a figure hunched over at the controls. He�s wearing grey jogging pants and a white t- shirt. The most striking thing about him is his bare feet, they look completely out of place. I�m so used to seeing everyone on the bridge smartly dressed in uniform, that the absence of polished shoes seems to highlight how unprecedented this situation is.
Nida turns around slowly and half-heartedly smiles at us. His hair is in a flat wedge shape on one side, which almost starts me laughing, but he doesn�t look in the mood to tolerate any form of ridicule. However, Zell seems to block out this glaringly obvious fact as he bounces over to him
�Whoa Nida! You look rough! Up all night, eh? You dog!�
He then proceeds to prod Nida with his elbow. How does he manage to have so much energy, just like that? I feel like crawling into a hole somewhere and sleeping the rest of the day away. Yet, he�s raring to go, and that�s before he gets even a hint of caffeine. The annoying thing is I bet he�s the type of person who can just turn the enthusiasm on and off as he feels like it. I bet he�s fast asleep the moment his head hits the pillow, not stuck spending half the night counting minimogs leaping over fences like me. Of course, I realise that I should be in a position to know whether I�m right or not, but I can�t remember. That�s just plain annoying.
Nida gently pushes Zell away and drags his fingers through his hair. He taps his foot against the floor, looking somewhat like a patient instructor waiting for a student to notice him. Zell stops bouncing. I should remember that trick.
�I wish.� Nida mutters, finally answering Zell�s playful banter. �I was woken up at three a.m. when the Garden started moving. I came up here to see what was going on and found Squall. Drunk.� He shoots an accusing glance at me. �We were on collision course for FH. Again. I tried to stop him and he got stroppy, called me things I didn�t need to hear at that time in the morning and stormed off, leaving me to sort this mess out.�
�We�re sorry.� I found myself saying, though I�m not sure if I entirely mean it. It�s not my fault if Squall can�t handle his drinks and no one asked Nida to stay on the bridge after he�d adverted the near disaster. �We can take over if you want to get some rest.�
�It�s OK. Xu will be here to relieve me soon.�
Without another word he turns back to the controls. I guess he can be forgiven for being a little snappy. I would be too if I was woken up at 3 in the morning by the guy of my dreams, (I know he has it hot for Squall, you should see the smouldering looks he gives him), only to find him uncontrollably plastered and feeling quite abusive.
Enough with the excitement now. I really need a nice soft bed. Nodding to Zell, I climb back onto the lift.
Squall is still more or less dead to the world under his desk. With one last glance at his hair I smirk to myself. What I wouldn�t give to be the first mirror he looks in today.
As I walk back towards the dorms, with a comfortable silence hovering between Zell and myself, I start to get other flashes of memories. Sounds. A sweet voice moaning and calling as if the owner has found paradise. It�s my voice. My eyes drift shut and I walk blindly along the familiar corridor as I try to remember how it felt to have Zell above me, coxing those alien sounds from me. Then I hear it. A voice in my head, Zell�s, uttering words so softly that I have to strain to hear them.
I open my eyes slowly and look at Zell, who�s walking next to me, absorbed in his own thoughts. I cock my head to one side and catch his eye.
�What?� He asks with a self-conscious smile.
�Do you?� I know I�m playing games with him, but I can�t help it.
�Do I what?�
�Love me?�
He drops out of my vision suddenly as he stops dead in his tracks. I turn to see him blushing. The flushed pink glow clashes with his tattoo.
�I thought you didn�t remember.� He awkwardly rubs the back of his neck and talks to his trainers.
�I�m starting to remember bits.� I shrug. �So, do you?�
He looks up at me, his blue eyes darting, trying to read my expression. I put on a poker face. Sometimes I�m just plain evil. He bites his lip and hesitatingly walks forward.
�I don�t know. I was drunk, and we were�� He coughs and decides not to finish that sentence. �But� I do like you� A lot.�
�OK.� I nod. �Maybe we can talk about it after I get some rest?�
He agrees to this and we continue to walk in silence. We reach Zell�s dorm first and he lets himself in. I follow. He raises his eyebrows at me, but I simply shrug.
�Your bed�s comfy� And you make a nice blanket.�
Yeah, well. I obviously had fun last night. And Zell really would be something to crow about. But I can�t do any crowing if I don�t refresh my memory, can I?