Author: Lipstickcat
Rating: G
Pairing: Kiros/Squall Kiros/Laguna
Disclaimer: Still not mine
Summary: Irvine and Selphie give Kiros a push in the right direction
Notes: Can�t you just see Selphie being a massive yaoi, (slash? Seeing as its real people?), fan?
***
Kiros sat in the corner of the cafeteria, pushing food around his plate with a fork. His stomach complained, but he couldn�t face actually eating his meal. The whole idea of putting food in his mouth made him feel sick, but he wasn�t ill, just upset by the disaster in Squall�s office.
He didn�t know which was worse, Laguna�s reaction, or Squall�s. He felt like he had betrayed his best friend�s trust in the most terrible way. But, it wasn�t as if he had lead Squall astray, the young man had looked him up and down, hadn�t backed away when he got close, had encouraged him even. Which is what made Squall�s reaction even more disconcerting.
Looking up and seeing Laguna standing there, watching, Kiros had jumped guiltily. His heart had begun to race as the feeling set in that he had been caught doing something that he knew was wrong. But why? Both he and Squall were adults who knew their own minds. So why did he feel that he didn�t know his at all?
It had hurt that Laguna couldn�t even bring himself to look at his own son. He had looked so miserable as he blindly turned and left the room. Squall�s reaction was understandable, in a way, but it still surprised Kiros that he had blanked him after being so close seconds before. Not even a �sorry� before he ran away.
Kiros scooped up a pile of the mush that had been his lunch and lifted it to his mouth. He sighed and put it back on the plate, dropping his fork with a clatter. He just wasn�t going to eat today; his stomach would have to deal with it, he decided as he put his head in his heads.
The table shook and he looked up to see that Irvine had sat down opposite him along with Selphie. She smiled at him warmly, but with a look of concern on her face. Irvine, in contrast, beamed at him and leaned across the table.
�I hear you and the Headmaster have been doing the dirty on his desk!�
Kiros blinked, and Irvine yelped as Selphie kicked him under the table. He gave her a dirty look before turning back to Kiros.
�You don�t look too happy about it though. Hell, if I�d got the chance to nail Squall, I�d be ecstatic!�
Selphie kicked him again, but he was ready and moved his leg out of range before she caught him. He turned briefly to her.
�Aw, don�t pretend you wouldn�t want to see that!�
Selphie blushed and hit his shoulder. Kiros made the shrewd decision to ignore whatever was going on between Irvine and Selphie. He answered Irvine in as flat a tone as possible, but he couldn�t hide the emotion in his voice.
�I�m sure that Selphie told you all about the disaster that followed.�
�Yeah, shame that. But you can�t really blame Laguna. I mean, cheating on him with his own son!�
Kiros wasn�t sure if he�d heard Irvine right.
�Cheating�. On Laguna?�
Irvine took in Kiros� puzzled tone. His mouth fell open and he promptly clamped his hand over it.
�You mean? Oh, I�m so sorry, I thought� Man! I should stop listening to Selphie, she swears blind you and Laguna are an item.�
Selphie made a low noise that sounded like a growl.
�Me� And Laguna?�
A strange feeling was beginning to bubble through the pit of Kiros� stomach. The world seemed to jump haltingly, whilst continuing in the same smooth manner that it always had.
Irvine smirked almost evilly at Selphie before scooting his chair out of range.
�Yeah. She even has an access by password only website: �Sir Laguna and his Handsome Prince�.�
�Just you wait!� Selphie thumped her fist against the table.
��Handsome Prince�.?� Kiros turned to Selphie. She was glowing profusely in a mixture of anger and embarrassment. He could almost feel the heat radiating from her face. �What made you think that we were an �item�?�
Selphie suddenly sat up straight, as if she�d just been asked her specialist subject. Her colour dimmed slightly, before burning even brighter.
�He never stops talking about you. Every other sentence is �Kiros this, Kiros that�. Even when he�s talking about things that don�t involve you, he finds an excuse to slip your name into the conversation. You should see how his eyes become misty and he smiles to himself. Its love.� She nodded her head as she made the last statement with absolute confidence.
�What about me?�
�I just assumed that you were gay.� She shrugged. �I was right about that at least.�
Kiros didn�t bother to question her any further about what exactly made her think that he was gay. It didn�t matter. His mind was like a deep, dark, whirlpool of questions. But somewhere above him he could catch the occasional glimmer of enlightenment, and he felt that he was getting closer to the surface and, perhaps, an answer.
Every time he�d looked at Squall, he�d compared him to Laguna. It couldn�t mean what he thought it meant, could it? And Laguna�s reaction; was Selphie right? Did Laguna love him? He had to talk to him.
He stood up suddenly, surprising both Selphie and Irvine, who�d begun to absorb themselves in a private hissing argument. They stood as well and followed him as he left the cafeteria. Outside on the walkway, Kiros caught sight of the backs of Zell and Ward as they made their way to the training centre. He called out to stop them and jogged over.
�Have you seen Laguna at all recently?� He asked without even bothering to greet them properly.
�Actually, yeah. He was just in the quad.�
���
�Yeah.� Zell nodded in agreement with Ward. �He was acting a bit funny. Not his usual self at all, sorta down I guess. Was muttering something about doing the right thing, giving Squall his blessing� I don�t know.�
Kiros� eyebrows shot up, and then he turned and dashed off without another word. Selphie and Irvine thanked Zell, promising that they would explain later, before following Kiros.
���
�Tell me �bout it.� Zell shrugged as he watched them leave.
Laguna was sitting on a bench surrounding one of the trees in the quad. He watched as the distant land grew steadily closer. This visit would soon be over, he�d have to get everything clear, both in his head and with the people involved, before he returned to Esthar.
It was hard. He wanted Squall to be happy and he knew that Kiros would treat him well. His best friend and his son: He should be over the moon. Instead he was jealous. Kiros would have the chance to get to know his long lost son better than he could ever hope to, and Squall�
Squall would have Kiros.
His heart felt like it was bound with cord and someone had just pulled at a loose end, squeezing it painfully. He forced himself to take a deep shaky breath and buried his face in his hands.
Several sets of footsteps crunched on the gravel in front of him. He looked up to find Kiros, Selphie and Irvine watching him intently. His heart thudded in his chest. He wasn�t ready. Not yet.
�Can I sit down?� Kiros asked, his mouth suddenly dry.
Laguna nodded slowly. At the same time, Irvine jumped into life, pulling on Selphie�s arm.
�C�mon. Lets take a walk.�
Selphie whined a little, but followed. Kiros couldn�t help smiling slightly as Irvine looped his arm around her waist, stopping her from twisting around to stare as they walked away.
�About earlier.� Laguna twisted his hands together awkwardly in his lap as he spoke to his feet. �I�m sorry for running out like a jerk. It was just a shock. But it�s OK. I know that you will treat Squall right. I think that you and Squall will make a� good�couple.�
Kiros had felt the urge to stop Laguna before he had even finished the first sentence, but he didn�t know what to say. He let his friend go on, prolonged the suffering that he didn�t deserve. How could he explain what he didn�t understand?
�Laguna.� He waited until his friend glanced up, but he avoided eye contact. Suddenly Kiros found himself yearning for one of those long meaningless moments of staring into each other�s eyes. He�d never realised just how much meaning they contained before. �I don�t think that me and Squall are going to be a couple.�
�Oh.�
Such a small word couldn�t express everything that was running through his mind. Why? Was Kiros using his son? Was Squall using Kiros? Would he have to intervene on the behalf of one or the other�s �honour�? If one hurt the other, which side would he take? At the same time, he was ashamed to feel a little burst of joy.
Kiros watched Laguna carefully. His posture was defeated, as if he had curled up inside himself. He was unwilling to make eye contact, Kiros knew that even if he was allowed to catch Laguna�s eyes they would seem sad and guarded, void of his usual glitter. His lack of communication reminded Kiros of Squall, and that observation lead to a realisation. He was certain; he had liked Squall for his similarities to Laguna, but not Laguna for his similarities to Squall. He liked Laguna for being Laguna.
�I think I�ve made a mistake. A big, stupid, mistake.� His voice was soft and contemplative. �I thought that I was attracted to Squall, but I had confused him for someone else.�
Laguna frowned to himself. Kiros normally made more sense than this.
�All the time I was with Squall, I was thinking of you.�
���
Laguna�s first reaction was to flinch internally at the mention of Kiros being with Squall and all that it implied. His jaw slowly gapped open as the meaning of the words sunk in. He dared to glance up and catch Kiros� eyes. Kiros felt a sigh of relief as he saw those vibrant blue eyes clear, as if the fog of despair that clouded them was lifting.
�I thought that I liked Squall, but it was the things in him that reminded me of you that I liked.�
Laguna beamed at him, his whole face breaking out into an expression of absolute delight. Then he jerked forwards, enveloping Kiros in a hug so fast that the surprise made him gasp. Kiros faltered for a second before bringing his arms up and wrapping them tightly around his back. He leaned against Laguna�s shoulder, his cheek brushing silky hair.
It felt so right, as if there was a space in him that could be filled merely by Laguna�s presence, and only him. How could he be so blind and not notice it before? So many clues, simple things, like the long looks and careful touches. Things that other men might shy away from. How many men knew what their best friend�s hair felt like beneath their fingertips? He had been clueless. So many years. He ached a little at the thought of all the missed chances and lost time.
�I didn�t know�� Kiros muttered, not even realising that he�d spoken out loud.
�I�m sorry.� Laguna replied earnestly as he pulled back. Kiros let go reluctantly and sat back, his head cocked slightly to the side in a puzzled expression. �I�ve been so selfish.�
�You�re not selfish, Laguna.�
�I am. I took you for granted. You�ve always been there, and I just expected that you always would be. Even with Julia and Raine, you were a constant, this other relationship. I never pushed because I thought that I might scare you away, but I assumed that you felt the same way for me. I was busy having other relationships, and I expected you to stay single. For me. When I saw you with Squall, I realised that you�d never been mine in the first place. I�m so sorry. I�ve been so selfish.�
Kiros couldn�t believe his ears. Laguna seemed to understand what was going on better than he did himself.
�No. It�s Ok. You�re not selfish, you don�t have it in you. I stayed single by choice, but perhaps it was for you, on some subconscious level. If I�d had any problems with Julia or Raine, I�d have let you know.� He knew that he was lying to Laguna as he remembered pangs of, what had been at the time, unexplainable jealousy over both women. But it was only a little white lie. �It�s all out in the open now. We both know. That�s what matters.�
Laguna smiled happily. He was easy to appease. They sat in silence for a heartbeat, Kiros noted how Laguna�s eyes glowed with firey emotion. Always so expressive and open. Without warning, he leaned in and kissed Laguna. It was nothing more than a gentle pressing together of lips, tender and fleeting, but it was enough. Boundary lines had shifted and although Kiros had discovered several potentially life changing facts, he was comfortable with the direction his life was heading in.
They sat on the bench and watched the land grow larger. Laguna�s leg was drawn up on the seat; he hugged it to him lazily. Kiros slung his arm around Laguna�s shoulder, letting his friend�s head fall against his chest. Soon they would be home.