Title: Lie To Me
Pairing: Squall/Nida
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine
Archive: Just ask
***
�Not a word.� You intone.
Your breath is warm and tickles across my eardrum as your husky voice swims inside my head. I nod and pull you a little bit closer. You pretend that it�s for our own good; it would compromise your position as Commander, people can�t judge what they don�t know.
When you touch me your fingertips linger with reverence, trying to absorb me. Your lips, velvet that flutters over my skin making me believe that I mean something to you.
I mean nothing.
I can see it in your eyes. Cold eyes. Eyes from some other place made of stone and ice and sky. I see him reflected there as you gaze right through me.
I shudder as one finger lazily traces over the bridge of my nose, following a scar that isn�t there, and you smile, just slightly. A dreamy memory of a smile. I feel my body shift in your mind, become someone else. My heart grinds with the transformation.
And I ignore it. Because I�d rather be someone else and with you, than nobody without you.
I watch, hypnotised, as your lips part in a sigh and then move, silently screaming a name that isn�t mine.
But there are moments, when you�re so lost inside of me, that he is gone. Your chest heaves ragged breaths out of you and I know that your mind is racing too fast for him to be a solid thought. You�re mine then. The only place that exists is our bed. The only time is the present. All that you know is me.
I anticipate these moments; they�re the times when the ache I feel deep inside bursts into fizzling fireworks that make my body tingle. You�re with me and only me.
It doesn�t last. It�s never my name that you breath out, syllables dripping from your lips like sweet honey.
I can live with that.
You never asked to be a leader and you don�t care what other people think of you. I know the real reason that you swear me to secrecy: It�s easier this way. If he ever comes back you�ll be there, waiting like the loyal lover you�ve failed to be. You�ll fall into his arms and I won�t even be a memory. You barely remember me now. No one will know, except me, and you can trust me to lock it all away in my heart and bury the key in my soul.
And there�s always the chance that he won�t come back. So, I�m your security blanket and your safety net. I suppose you feel it�s better to have somebody than nobody as well.
I�ll keep your secret for as long as it takes, but promise me something in return. If I ever lose my senses and ask: �Do you love me?�
Please.
Lie to me.