Author: Lipstickcat
E-mail: [email protected]
Rating: G
Warnings: Random. Very random.
Disclaimer: This is a blatant rip off of a Buffy episode� I�m not called Joss�. Nor do I own the Squaresoft guys�. Kitty Irvy�s all mine though *g*
Notes: This farce is my third and final 1 hour Halloween fic� Its my least favourite, although it does have its moments, IMHO. This fic spawned a Nida spinoff, (Just Like This), which I am rather proud of and is undoubtedly as hot as hell on toast.
***
�Don�t you think that�s a bit in bad taste?�
Both Rinoa and Seifer smiled as Zell took a sip of his punch. Selphie was throwing a Halloween fancy dress party and Seifer had come dressed as a knight in a full suit of silver painted plastic armour. Rinoa had been even less subtle, her costume involving a long black dress, accompanied by a feathered collar and ornate headdress. Zell had instantly recognised the pair as a thinly veiled sorceress and her knight.
�Selphie will love it!� / �Selphie�ll kill us!� they both replied in unison, with equal joy.
At that moment, Zell was attacked from behind by a squealing train driver.
�Zell! You�re a Gladiator!� Selphie informed him as if he hadn�t picked the costume out himself.
She pushed back the peak of her ridiculously sized blue and white striped hat to take in Seifer and Rinoa�s costumes. For a moment, she was struck dumb, then she clapped her hands together and emitted another high-pitched squeal of delight. Zell left her to enthuse over their �original� costumes and headed over to talk to Quistis, who currently had bluey-green hair. He guessed by her costume, or lack of it, that she was supposed to be Shiva.
Squall entered the hall feeling rather more self-conscious than usual. He couldn�t believe that Selphie had talked him into wearing this costume. The shiny fabric of his tail made it hard for him to walk and he shuffled across the floor painfully slowly. Why, for Hyne�s sake, a merman? At least he�d drawn the line at the blond wig and seashell bra. Making an idiot of himself in the name learning to take himself less seriously, he�d do, but not cross-dressing. Not in public.
He hadn�t escaped the headdress of white water lilies, though; when he shook his head at the flowers, his ears had been assaulted with �Aw, Squaaaallllll! You could at least try!� How come he�d been made to feel like an inflexible stick in the mud for not wanting them? He was walking around topless, fully aware of embarrassingly pert nipples in the cold October air, with a green tail wrapped around his legs!
Nida walked past, covering the space of the hall twice as fast as he was. He�d asked Squall to lend him his leather jacket earlier in the day and he could see why now: He�d come as him! It was a pretty good likeness, and really quite flattering, if a little strange to behold.
Squall was about to call him over, so he could at least take some comfort in his own company, but as Nida reached the buffet table at the opposite end of the room, Irvine slinked up to him. The cowboy was dressed as a cat. Striped ginger fur covered his body. He had a tail that hung almost to the floor and he was wearing a purple velvet collar around his neck. Ears on a headband sat amongst his loose hair quite realistically. Squall turned away as Irvine playfully rubbed up against Nida.
�She really likes trains, doesn�t she?� Rinoa spoke to Seifer as Selphie dashed away, having spotted Squall. Seifer nodded in reply. �I wonder if I could fix something for her�� Rinoa mused.
She�d meant it as a gift, just for Selphie, as a thank you for the party; maybe a magical ticket to invite her to drive a train for the day� But, Rinoa was new to the whole being a sorceress thing and her spell overreached. Instead, it affected everyone in the room, making them whatever their costumes were.
The confusion was instantaneous. Irvine climbed onto the buffet table and began to eat all the prawn cocktail from the salad bowls. Nida didn�t know what to do and ending up getting involved in a lengthy inner monologue debating whether he should put Irvine back on the floor, or just go and make peace with his estranged father.
Quistis turned on Zell, casting ice magic at him. Zell retaliated by whacking her with his plastic sword and dashing away in search of a reflective shield to turn her spells against her and freeze her.
Squall suddenly found himself unable to stand on his fins and fell to the floor, floundering around like a fish. Selphie left him, and the party, feeling the sudden urge to go to the nearest train station.
Seifer proudly stood by his sorceress as she surveyed the growing chaos and hastily backtracked in her mind to figure out where she�d gone wrong and how to put it right. Suddenly, something caught the knight�s eye. Silver scales flapped up and down on the dance floor. He shut his visor and, with the cry of �Die, dragon!�, he charged forward.
Zell, who had been contemplating whether one of the big serving plates would make a suitable shield, saw the knight charging. He followed the line of Seifer�s movement and his eyes fell upon a helpless creature; a beautiful, defenceless merman trapped on dry land. The inherent gentleman in him commanded that he defend this creature.
Leaping forward with the plate, Zell placed himself between Squall and Seifer. The plastic sword came down with enough force for a low �clunk� to sound around the room. Zell dropped the shield and drew his own sword, bought from the same gift shop in Esthar as Seifer�s, and began to battle.
Out of nowhere, Irvine pounced. He floored Seifer easily, knocking the wind out of him, the visor of his helmet flicking open as he landed. Irvine then proceeded to lick his face, purring happily and kneading the knight�s chest.
Zell spun around and crouched down to speak to Squall.
�Are you OK?� he reached out, hesitantly touching Squall�s face.
�Water�� Squall gasped harshly, he truly believed that he would die on dry land.
Scooping Squall into his arms, Zell stood up. He glanced around, clutching Squall to his chest, before hurrying to the entranceway. He dodged a bolt of ice magic and charged through the doors into the corridor. He could hear running water. Picking his pace up, he jogged towards the centre of Garden, his plastic breastplate rattling as he moved. His merman was lying limply in his arms.
As he neared the fountain, in his eagerness, he tripped over his own feet and both he and Squall landed head first in the water. Squall emerged from beneath the water sighing deeply. He felt so refreshed. The lilies from his hair floated across the surface of the pool, the petals of one sticking to his arm. Pulling Zell to him, he thanked him for saving his life in one way he could.
At this moment, Rinoa figured out her mistake and reversed the spell. Neither Squall nor Zell seemed to feel the need to question why they were kissing, or why they were up to their waists in water, instead opting to continue and leave it for someone else to explain.