Date Finished: October 29th, 2003 (my 21st birthday! ;P)
Classification: Romance, Angst
Pairing: Eriol/Yue, Clow/Yue, Touya/Yukito, mild hints of Touya/Yue
Rating: NC-17
Note: Sequel to `Love Is�', but can be read independently.
Glass
By Elsewhere
<[email protected]>
All other information in Part One.
Part Nine:
Glossary:
aa - yeah
aishiteru mo - I love you too
anata - you
ano - um
arigatou - thank you
baka - idiot
betsuni - whatever; it doesn't matter
boku wa - I
dakedo - but; however
doushita no? - what's wrong?; what happened?
e? - huh?
gomen nasai - I'm so sorry
hai - yes; okay
iie - no
iki mashou - let's go
ima - now
ite - ow
itte kimasu - I'm leaving
iya - no
ja - bye (casual)
koi - come here
kuso - shit
mou - please (whiny)
nan demo nai - nothing
nanda? - what is it?
nani? - what?
omae - you
onegai - please
oyasumi - good night
oyasumi nasai - good night (formal)
saa - now
sou - yes; that's right
uun - nope
wakaru ka? - do you understand?
wakatta/wakatteiru/wakarimashita - I know; I understand
watashi wa anata ga suki desu - I'm in love with you
yamero - stop (masculine)
yare yare - well well
*****
If I could reach my feelings out
To you
I wish you would knock on the door to my heart
Like it's open for you
*****
Touya was drawn out of his peaceful sleep the instant he felt the
warm body in his arms slide away, not so much because this was an
uncommon occurrence, but more because�something was wrong. And the
instant he sat up and reached out a hand to rub Yuki's back and his
hand met silver hair, as soft as silk, he knew that his instincts
couldn't have been closer to the mark.
"Yue!" he whispered, startled. He quickly shifted forward a bit on
the bed, leaning around, trying to get a look at Yue's face. He
couldn't help the soft gasp that left his lips when he saw the tears
streaming down Yue's cheeks. "Yue�"
He reached for Yue's shoulder again, but before his hand met Yue's
flesh, Yue shied away from the touch, and Touya's mouth dropped open
when he saw Yue start to shake�when he heard Yue start to sob.
"Yue," he whispered again, unable to keep the disbelief out of his
voice as he quickly moved around to kneel in front of Yue. He watched
helplessly as Yue curled in on himself, bringing his hands up to his
face as he sobbed, his body wracked with convulsive shudders.
"Yue�yamero�onegai�yamero�" Touya whispered, unable to stand watching
for any more than a few moments. He moved forward slowly, carefully
placing his hands on Yue's shoulders and stroking gently. "You'll
hurt yourself�onegai�"
Yue slowly lowered his hands and lifted his head, raising pain-filled
eyes to meet Touya's concerned gaze. Touya smiled as gently as he
could, and he watched Yue's face crumple again, but he felt relief
sing through him when Yue accepted the offer of Touya's open arms,
leaning forward and letting Touya gather him into his arms.
Ignoring the fact that they were both naked, Touya gently pulled Yue
up into his lap, cradling the guardian against his chest and moving
his hands up beneath Yue's hair to stroke his back, hoping that it
might soothe him since it always worked so well with Yuki. Yue slowly
stopped shaking and his sobs became slow, even breathing against
Touya's shoulder, so finally Touya sighed with relief, wondering if
it was over.
"Arigatou, To-ya," Yue said quietly, startling Touya. He'd thought
Yue had fallen asleep.
"Anytime," Touya said softly, lightly rubbing Yue's shoulder. He
didn't want to hurt Yue, but curiosity and concern made him ask the
question anyway. "Did you dream?"
Yue shook his head, letting out a slow breath that warmed the skin of
Touya's shoulder, making him shiver slightly.
"Not a dream. A memory," Yue murmured, closing his eyes.
"Ah," Touya said simply, and then he drew one of his hands back out
from under the thick curtain of Yue's hair and started to stroke down
the length of Yue's hair, from the top of his head to midway down his
back. Yue let out a long, slow breath, obviously contented, so Touya
continued.
"To-ya�" Yue began in a more hesitant tone of voice, and Touya turned
his head, glancing down at where Yue's head rested against his chest.
Yue's eyes were open, peering at Touya's skin, at where his own
fingers rested lightly against Touya's chest. "What you said to
Yukito earlier�did you mean it?"
Touya stiffened slightly, his hand stilling in Yue's hair, and his
discomfort only grew when this caused Yue to lift his head. Their
faces were now only inches apart, their heights roughly equal, and
Touya couldn't escape the fact that Yue was still straddling his lap,
his hair coiled lightly around Touya's calves.
"Which part of it?" Touya asked, a bit breathlessly.
"The part where you said you don't mind," Yue said, with the
slightest trace of a smile which faded to utter seriousness as he met
Touya's eyes.
"Oh," Touya said, relaxing slightly and smiling. "Aa, I meant it."
"Good," Yue said simply, closing his eyes briefly before he met
Touya's gaze again. "The fact is inescapable to me now, To-ya. I love
him. I love�Eriol."
His voice softened on the name, testing the weight of it on his
tongue.
"Wakatta," Touya said, his smile softening a bit as he reached up to
brush Yue's hair away from his eyes, just enough to see the way Yue's
eyes were shining. "I don't mind. Do what you want."
Yue blushed ever so slightly at the look in Touya's eyes.
"Arigatou," he said quietly, closing his eyes once more and taking a
deep breath. "I have to tell him. Tonight."
"Wakatta," Touya said again, caressing Yue's shoulder lightly once
more. "Like I said�do what you want."
Yue opened his eyes, looking at Touya in silence for a moment before
he finally smiled, a soft, beautiful smile of the kind that Touya had
so rarely seen on Yue's face that Touya instantly broke out in a wide
grin of his own.
"You smiled," Touya said, and when Yue's smile faded and he looked at
Touya questioningly, Touya chuckled and reached out to poke the end
of Yue's nose. "You smiled for me, Yue."
Yue stared at him in surprise for a moment before he offered the same
smile again and then leaned abruptly closer, so much closer that
Touya's smile instantly vanished and the look on his face became
panicked.
"Arigatou, To-ya," Yue said softly again, meeting Touya's gaze from
no more than an inch away. Touya could feel Yue's warm breath against
his lips in that moment, and for some reason, in that instant, he
couldn't seem to breathe�
"Aishiteru mo," Yue whispered, leaning in to brush his lips ever so
gently across Touya's for just a second, just long enough to taste,
before he got to his feet. Touya's mouth gaped open as he stared
after him. He watched as Yue started towards the window, and finally
regained his wits when he realized what Yue was about to do.
"Ano�Yue�"
"Hm?" Yue asked, turning back and raising an elegant silver eyebrow
at the tone of Touya's voice.
"Clothes�" Touya suggested, looking and sounding as though he was
about to crack up.
Yue glanced down at himself, standing stark naked in front of the
open window.
Yue set his mouth in a grim line, which only tipped Touya over into
cackling madly as Yue sighed and, in a flash of light, reappeared in
his usual white and lavender robes.
"There. Satisfied?" Yue said, striking a pose, one hand against his
hip.
Touya couldn't answer; he was laughing too hard.
"Thank you for your opinion," Yue growled, sniffing indignantly
before he turned to the window and flared his wings into
existence. "Itte kimasu."
"Ja," Touya managed to croak out between his chuckles as Yue swooped
down out of the window and lifted up, high above the city where he
wouldn't be seen, ignoring the wind that pushed the rain into his
face.
Once he'd made up his mind about something, it was impossible to
change it, as Hiiragizawa Eriol was about to find.
*****
Yue decided it was dark enough to risk flying all the way to Eriol's
house, and that even if someone were to chance looking out their
window into the meager light provided by the neighborhood's street
lamps at the wrong moment, it was far too rainy to make out many
details. Under such conditions, surely a young man with silver hair
longer than he was tall and great white wings, flying irritably
against the wind and cursing quietly as he finally settled himself on
the ground in Eriol's yard---surely such a sight could be taken as an
illusion; a mere trick of the light.
Yue was frowning irritably and glaring distastefully down at his
soaked robes as he stepped up to the door, folding his wings into his
body. Before he had a chance to remind himself how to use the
doorbell, however, the door was flung open in front of him, causing
him to quickly lift his head. He blinked at the sight that met his
eyes.
Eriol was standing just inside the open doorway, breathing a bit
unevenly and looking considerably more off balance than Yue had ever
seen him yet. His hair was mussed and his eyes troubled; it was
obvious he hadn't yet slept, even though it was well into the early
hours of the morning, but his robes were slightly disheveled.
Probably sitting in a chair staring into the fire, if he had
inherited any of Clow's habits, Yue mused to himself.
"Yue," Eriol gasped, eyes widening as he took in the sight of the
soaked, miserable looking moon guardian standing out in the rain.
"You knew I was standing here," Yue deduced, arching an eyebrow
slightly. Eriol copied the motion, then smiled slightly before
shaking his head.
"Of course I knew," he said, closing his eyes briefly to dismiss the
conversation. "Come in, Yue�you're soaked to the bone."
Yue shuddered slightly at the way Eriol's hands firmly took hold of
his arms and pulled him into the house, and then he caught his breath
as he found himself suddenly face to face with the object of his
recent thoughts. For a moment, when Yue saw the concern on Eriol's
face, heard the way Eriol's breath caught when he felt how cold Yue's
skin felt through the thin fabric of his soaked robes, Yue felt the
overpowering urge to turn and flee in the other direction. But now
was not the time to lose his nerve, he decided.
He took just as firm a grip on one of Eriol's arms and leaned a bit
closer, the look in his eyes becoming determined as he met Eriol's
eyes, hoping to convey fully the power of his emotion through the
intensity of his gaze. He watched as Eriol slowly blinked and caught
his breath, staring back at Yue, obviously compelled. Eriol
swallowed, and Yue watched as the tip of Eriol's tongue slid out to
wet his lips.
"Yue�" Eriol began, his voice sounding slightly strangled. "Boku wa�"
"What's going on?" a sharp yet monotonous voice suddenly asked, and
Eriol jumped slightly, though he didn't turn his head or break away
from Yue's gaze. Yue sighed inwardly as the sound of rapidly beating
fairy wings announced the arrival of Eriol's sun guardian.
"Ah�anata," Spinel's voice said, from somewhere off to Yue's left,
sounding suddenly amused; whether because of Yue's miserable
appearance or because of the awkward position Spinel had caught his
master in, Yue wasn't sure.
"What's all the racket?" another sleepy voice demanded from the top
of the stairs. Yue heard her footsteps descending and tried to
contain the urge to twitch. "I heard you running down the stairs like
the house was on fire, but I can't see any�oh! Yue!"
"Spinel," Eriol said abruptly, in a quiet, polite voice that still
spoke of command. He kept his eyes fixed to Yue's, unwilling to
release Yue's unrelenting intensity. "Please brew some tea. I think
you know which kind. Ruby, please take Yue to my room while I get
some towels and blankets."
"Hai," Spinel said simply before turning and fluttering towards the
kitchen.
"Your room?" Nakuru repeated, skipping down the rest of the stairs.
She sounded both confused and amused.
"Aa," Eriol said patiently, tilting his head ever so slightly. "The
fire is already going in my room."
"You could start a fire in any room in this house with a single word,
Eriol," Nakuru said, a touch of teasing in her voice.
"Ruby," Eriol said simply, but there was a touch of strain in his
voice.
"Hai, master," Nakuru chirped, before she gently touched Yue's
arm. "Iki mashou, Yue."
"I'll be right there," Eriol promised Yue, holding his gaze for one
brief moment more before he reluctantly closed his eyes and drew
away, fingers lingering lightly against Yue's arms for an instant
before he turned and walked away. Yue stared after him until he heard
Nakuru chortle quietly and he turned, glaring at her.
"Nanda?"
"Uun, nan demo nai," she said with a shrug before she grabbed his
arm, which made him cringe, and tugged him down the hallway. "Come
on, Eriol's bedroom is this way."
Yue sighed quietly at the familiarity in her tone, but said nothing.
She was still laughing under her breath as she reached the room and
pushed him inside, closing the door after them. She guided him over
in front of the fire place, then stepped around in front of him,
looking him over from head to toe to have a good look at him.
"Yare yare, you've really done it this time, haven't you?" she said,
reaching out to poke him in the chest, which earned her a raised
eyebrow. "Even magical beasts can die of pneumonia, you know."
"And would that please you?" he asked her, frowning slightly.
"E?" she said, briefly looking hurt. "Don't be mean, Yue. Just
because you stole my valentine doesn't mean I want you to die."
"I stole your what?" he asked, the frown vanishing into a look of
confusion.
She chuckled.
"My valentine," she said, and he stiffened slightly as she moved
around behind him and started to play with his hair, working the ties
out of it and trying to undo some of the wet tangles. "I wanted Touya-
kun to be my valentine. Well, his power would have been nice too�or
at least, I thought so. I didn't know what Eriol was really
planning!! Mou!! He never told us anything about it."
He turned back to her, an eyebrow raised again, to find her pouting,
her lower lip jutting out.
"Ah, betsuni," she said with a quick sigh and a shrug. "I wanted a
valentine's kiss from Touya. But you"---and she poked him on the arm--
-"had to go and steal him away."
"I didn't steal him," Yue said, frowning slightly again. "He loved
Yukito."
"Oh, whatever," Nakuru said, rolling her eyes. "As if I can keep it
all straight."
Yue stared at her for a moment before he finally closed his eyes and
turned around, deciding to ignore her as she worked patiently at his
hair.
He opened his eyes again when he heard her start to chuckle again.
"You know what he's going to ask you to do, right?" she asked.
That was a bit more difficult to ignore. Yue was just about to open
his mouth, prepared to shout at her about minding her own damn
business, when the door opened and Eriol slipped inside, carrying a
small pile of fluffy towels and blankets. Yue took one look at them
and wondered just what exactly he was in store for.
"Arigatou, Ruby," Eriol said as he walked over to the bed and put
down the pile. "That will be all. You may go back to bed now."
"Hai!" Nakuru chirped, chortling once more before she patted Yue's
arm and skipped out of the room. Yue glared after her.
"I'll just be another moment, Yue," Eriol said, moving back towards
the door. Yue's glare faded.
"I think those towels will be enough," he said, holding up a hand as
though to keep Eriol there.
Eriol chuckled softly, his hand on the doorknob, turning back to
glance at Yue with one eyebrow raised in amusement.
"For the tea, Yue," he said, smiling warmly. "I'm going for the tea.
Spinel can't carry it by himself."
"Oh," Yue said, trying to hide his blush even though Eriol was gone
before he could have possibly seen it. Yue frowned then, irritated
with himself. Whether he was in love again or not was no reason to
start acting like an idiot, just as he had so long ago, with Clow.
He sighed, reaching up a hand to touch his wet hair and wincing
before he moved slowly over to the bed and took a towel. He rubbed
idly at his hair as he wandered across the room, heedless of the wet
trail he was leaving behind himself. He stopped in front of Eriol's
bedside table, his frown deepening a bit when he saw the photograph
there. It was a young woman, pretty and smiling warmly. Yue sighed
quietly as he reached out to touch the picture, feeling his heart
clench a bit at the sight of her.
It wasn't that Yue inherently disliked her---Mizuki Kaho. But he
supposed that was a question he would have to ask at some point. At
one time in his life, Eriol had loved Kaho. If Eriol's behavior
towards her at Sakura's wedding, and the more recent occurrences with
Yue, were any indication, then that relationship was in the past, but
still�
Yue let his hand trail lightly over the cherry wood of the night
stand, tilting his head curiously as he spotted something unfamiliar
sticking out from under an ancient-looking book with Greek writing on
the cover. Without any qualms about Eriol's privacy---Yue had, of
course, never cared terribly much for common courtesy---Yue lifted
the book and pulled out the paper. His frown quickly became a scowl
as he read the characters on the paper, his fingers tightening on the
paper until it started to twist in his hand. He felt a soft breath in
his mind, and then the hesitant sound of his other self's voice.
<Yue�I'm sure there's an explanation�give him a chance�> Yuki said,
and he probably would have continued if the sound of the door opening
again hadn't interrupted him. Yue spun around, still clutching the
small paper in his fist as he watched Eriol walk through the door
carefully holding a tea tray, pausing only to push the door closed
with his leg.
"Omae!" Yue hissed, pointing an accusatory finger towards Eriol, who
lifted his head and blinked, immediately looking confused. Yue
stalked across the room towards him, eyes blazing. "I hope you have
an explanation for this!"
"I hope I do too," Eriol said, brow furrowing slightly.
"Well?" Yue demanded, eyebrows spiking upwards. "Saa!"
"May I put the tea down first?" Eriol asked hopefully.
Yue glared at him, but nodded.
Eriol moved over to his writing desk and moved a few papers aside
before setting the tea tray down, then moved back over to Yue,
looking him over and taking note of the way he was shaking slightly,
barely controlling his rage and disappointment.
"Well?" Yue said again, growling slightly.
"Do you mind telling me what I have to explain first?" Eriol said
with a patient smile.
"This!" Yue hissed, holding up his fist. Eriol gently pulled his
fingers apart, revealing the plane ticket to England held between
them. Eriol's smile widened as his eyes closed, but he was surprised
to see, when he opened his eyes again, that Yue's anger seemed to
have faded. Now he only looked hurt, his eyes deadened.
"You said you would stay," Yue said quietly, and then he closed his
eyes, as though unable to stand the confused look on Eriol's face any
longer. "You said you would stay as long as I needed you."
"Yue�" Eriol whispered, surprised. Yue's eyes snapped open when he
felt Eriol's hands close over his shoulders, and then Eriol pulled
him into a gentle hug. Eriol's breath was warm against the side of
Yue's face as he laughed softly. "Yue, that plane ticket belongs to
Ruby�she's going back to England for a few days to take care of a few
things at her university before she moves here permanently."
Yue stared dumbly at the fabric of Eriol's robe for a moment before
he finally closed his eyes and let out a quiet, annoyed sigh. Hadn't
he just reminded himself *not* to act idiotic anymore!?
"Ruby Moon. University in England. I think I follow you that far.
Dakedo�moving here permanently?" Yue said, finally letting his
shoulders relax from their uncomfortable tension when Eriol pulled
away and moved over towards the pile of towels, taking the crumpled
plane ticket with him.
"Aa. We have decided to move back to Japan�permanently," Eriol said,
putting the ticket aside before he picked up one of the towels. "So�
if you need me, Yue�I will be here."
When he turned around again, he was smiling, and Yue couldn't help
the slight smile that came to his own mouth in response. He turned
away, unable to face the knowing look in Eriol's eyes.
"Now, about you," Eriol said simply, with a touch of amusement in his
voice as he approached Yue, holding the towel lightly against his
side. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, Yue, but you've got to
get out of those clothes. You'll catch pneumonia if you remain in
them any longer."
Yue's eyes snapped back towards Eriol so fast that Eriol chuckled,
eyes sliding closed and head tilting: his natural grin.
"And again, Yue, forgive me for saying so and I apologize if I seem
crude, but to be perfectly frank, I've seen your body before�or
rather, I have the memories of one who's seen your body before�and
I'd rather not leave you alone. I can see how badly you're shaking
even now, just standing�you may not be strong enough to take care of
yourself. If you truly wish me to leave the room, I will, but I want
to encourage you not to feel uncomfortable around me, because I�"
Eriol opened his eyes, and suddenly his voice choked off entirely,
his eyes going wide. Yue was midway through the process of undoing
his robes, fingers shaking badly as they worked the various clasps,
allowing the loose sheathes of fabric to slide away. Within seconds
Yue was stepping away from a messy pile of white and lavender fabric
on the carpet, lifting silver eyes again filled with an odd intensity
to meet Eriol's eyes as Yue stood on the carpet, entirely naked.
When Eriol simply continued to stare, seeming frozen entirely in
place---obviously the reality was quite different from the memory,
Yue thought amusedly---Yue cleared his throat quietly and lifted an
eyebrow expectantly.
"Well?" he asked pointedly.
Eriol started, almost dropping the towel in his arms.
"Oh�g�gomen nasai," he said, suddenly blushing deeply. He walked
towards Yue hesitantly. "I shouldn't stare."
"Is something different from your memory?" Yue asked, lips twitching,
as Eriol reached his side and met his eyes.
Eriol's blush deepened.
"Iie," he said, voice becoming lower and pleasantly husky. "I hadn't
thought it possible, but�in reality, you're far more beautiful than
my memory could ever have led me to believe."
Yue felt a faint blush spread over his own cheeks. He hadn't been
expecting a response quite like *that*.
"Arigatou," he said softly, unsure of what else to say.
Eriol smiled, then cleared his throat.
"Here�tell me if you need help," Eriol said gently, holding up the
towel. "I'll fix you a cup of tea."
"Arigatou," Yue said again, accepting the towel, making absolutely
certain this time to brush his fingers against Eriol's before he
turned away and moved over to the fireplace, kneeling on the soft
carpet in front of it. He started to towel himself off, sighing
softly at the feeling of the fire's heat soaking into his skin as he
dried off his chest and arms, trying to ignore the shudders wracking
his slight frame.
He glanced up and offered Eriol a soft smile when Eriol knelt next to
him and held out a cup of tea.
"Three cubes of sugar, just as you like it," Eriol said, returning
the smile. "I'll be right back."
Yue watched curiously as Eriol got to his feet, fetched a towel, and
then knelt on the carpet again, this time behind Yue.
"May I?" Eriol asked, and Yue nodded, then sighed quietly when Eriol
started to gently rub Yue's hair with the towel. For several moments
Yue allowed himself to be distracted by the dual sensation of Eriol's
motions and the pleasant warmth from the fire, but then he finally
finished toweling off his legs and hips and turned his attention to
the tea, drinking the whole cup before setting it aside.
Once Eriol had finished gently toweling and wringing out about half
of the mass of Yue's hair, he got to his feet again, taking away
Yue's teacup and returning with the blankets he'd brought, as well as
one of his own casual robes.
"Please put this on," Eriol said, handing Yue the robe. Yue stared at
it for a moment before he smiled softly. It was a light, pleasant
blue: one of Yue's favorite colors. Eriol was sure to know
that. "It's warm but comfortable."
"Arigatou," Yue said, getting to his feet to pull on the robe. He
lightly tugged the belt into place, then accepted the blankets from
Eriol, only grumbling slightly when Eriol encouraged him to wrap the
blankets tightly around himself as he settled back down in front of
the fire. Unable to help himself, he let out a soft sigh at the
warmth that settled deep into his body once he was wrapped in the
cocoon of fabric---fabric that smelled pleasantly of Eriol---and
settled once more in front of the fire. Yue could feel Yukito dozing
in the back of his consciousness, and it comforted him to realize
that Yukito trusted Eriol enough to relax this much around him.
Eriol returned to his task of drying Yue's hair and Yue let himself
start to drift off, his head resting against his knees.
"There," Eriol said finally, satisfied that he'd dried Yue's hair
satisfactorily when he held three sopping wet towels in his
hands. "You'll be fine now, Yue."
Yue only nodded sleepily, and Eriol smiled as he moved to put the
towels away.
"Yue," Eriol said quietly as he settled back onto the carpet next to
the sleepy guardian, crossing his legs under himself. His voice
softened when he saw that Yue really was almost asleep. "Yue�hm�
perhaps I should just let you sleep�"
Yue slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times and focusing on the
warmth in Eriol's eyes. Within Yue, Yuki stirred groggily.
"Mm�iya�I'm awake," Yue mumbled, retrieving a hand from his cocoon of
blankets to rub at his eye. "Nanda?"
Eriol smiled warmly, tilting his head.
"Only that when you appeared at my door at three o'clock in the
morning, soaking wet, and looked at me so intently, I thought perhaps
that you might have had something to say to me," Eriol said, a mild
tone of teasing in his voice.
That brought Yue back to full wakefulness easily enough. He'd become
so comfortable in the warmth and security of Eriol's presence that
he'd almost forgotten that he hadn't *said* anything yet.
"I do have something to say to you," Yue said quietly, and as the
sleep vanished from his eyes they regained their intensity. He
watched as the change in his own mood instantly affected Eriol, and
the look in Eriol's eyes quickly became almost as intense as his own.
"Oh?" Eriol said, obviously willing to wait patiently.
Yue opened his mouth, then swallowed, suddenly wishing he had more
tea�his throat felt unbearably dry. Within him, he could feel Yuki
holding his breath, nervous, but also hopeful for Yue's sake.
"Actually�before that, I have something to *do* to you," he said, and
he watched Eriol raise an eyebrow and open his mouth, obviously about
to make some sort of remark in response to this, but before he had
the chance, Yue cast aside his blankets and surged forward. Eriol let
out a soft sound of surprise when Yue's hands smacked him lightly on
the chest, pushing him down to the carpet, and then that single soft
sound quickly became a louder sound of startled amazement when Yue
straddled Eriol's hips.
"Are you surprised?" Yue asked, lifting an eyebrow and then smiling
gently before he placed his hands on either side of Eriol's head and
leaned down, brushing his lips gently over Eriol's once, twice, the
lightest teasing touch, giving Eriol the chance to puff out his
breath of shock before Yue pressed closer. At first as Yue kissed
him, his lips gently caressing Eriol's lower lip and then nibbling
more insistently at the lower left corner of Eriol's mouth, Eriol
simply lay dormant under Yue, too shocked to react in any other way.
But then, slowly, he started to respond.
Yue sighed softly when he first felt Eriol's hands slide up off the
floor and along Yue's thighs, and then Yue's sigh became a quiet moan
when Eriol's mouth started to move against his, lips finally
returning his caresses. As Eriol's hands worked slowly inwards until
his fingers were lightly rubbing Yue's hips, Yue felt Eriol's tongue
slowly move out to trace Yue's lower lip, and Yue smiled slightly
before he opened his mouth, just enough to encourage Eriol to try
harder.
Eriol groaned, dropping his head back with a soft thump against the
floor, and Yue pulled back from the kiss, laughing quietly.
"Ite," Eriol said, taking a hand back to rub at his head before he
stared up at Yue, who was smiling down at him with something of an `I
just ate the canary' expression. "All right, Yue, I admit it�aa, I'm
surprised."
"But surely," Yue said archly, running a fingertip lightly along
Eriol's chest, "you knew�you can read me just as well as Clow could.
You must have known I was attracted to you."
"Aa," Eriol agreed, in the same low, husky voice he'd used earlier.
"Just as I know you're attracted to me," Yue continued, and as he
spoke he took Eriol's hand from his hip and placed it against his
cheek, pressing gently until Eriol took the hint and cupped Yue's
cheek. Yue sighed, closing his eyes, as Eriol's fingertips stroked
back into his hair. Yue heard an echoing sigh in his mind and then
felt a faint rush of something like embarrassment, and reminded
himself that he and Yukito would have to spend some time discussing
this alone.
"Check and mate," Eriol agreed in a breathy whisper. His wording made
Yue chuckle, but the chuckle trailed off into another soft moan, this
time cut off by Yue's teeth against his lip, as Eriol's other hand
returned to Yue's hip, lightly squeezing.
"To tell you the truth�" Eriol said quietly, sounding so serious
suddenly that Yue opened his eyes, staring down at Eriol and fighting
not to shiver as Eriol's hands caressed his hair and his hip in
tandem. "I never thought you would wish to act on that attraction,
Yue. I�am not Clow."
Anger flashed across Yue's eyes, and his hand reached up, gripping
Eriol's hand and pulling it away from his hair.
"Wakatta!" Yue snapped, and Eriol's eyes widened slightly when Yue's
other hand twisted into the fabric of Eriol's robe and pulled
sharply, forcing Eriol to shoot out his one free hand to support
himself as he was pulled upright until he was face to face with
Yue. "I've told you repeatedly�*wakatteiru.* Wakaru ka?"
Eriol peered intently into Yue's eyes for a moment, looking past the
anger and arousal until he found what he was seeking and sighed
softly, closing his eyes.
"Aa. Wakarimashita," he said quietly. "Gomen nasai, Yue."
His eyes flew open when he felt Yue's lips meet his again, stroking
lightly at first and then pressing harder, becoming demanding. Eriol
let his eyes slide shut again when he felt Yue's hands slide into his
hair, stroking, making him shiver slightly. He brought his own hands
up to Yue's hair again and this time he gripped the back of Yue's
head gently, using the pressure to hold Yue in place as he slid his
tongue past Yue's lips, swallowing the sweet sound of Yue's moan as
he explored the moon guardian's mouth. Within a few moments Eriol was
pressing himself closer, wanting to taste more, one hand still
holding Yue's head as the other started to stroke down Yue's arm, and
he groaned when he realized that Yue's hands were fumbling between
them, undoing the belt on Yue's robe and letting the robe fall apart.
"Mm�gods, Yue�what are you�" Eriol whispered as he drew back from the
kiss, eyes widening before he let out a low moan, looking down at
Yue's naked flesh, exposed by the robe as it hung loose.
"Touch me," Yue whispered in response, and any reply Eriol might have
had was choked off into a startled gasp when Yue suddenly placed his
hands against Eriol's shoulders, giving himself some leverage, and
pressed closer, grinding his own erection into Eriol's stomach and
twisting himself down onto Eriol's erection at the same time. Yue
moaned loudly, tilting his head back, hair spilling over Eriol's
legs, and Eriol tried to keep himself from doing the same, unable to
keep a soft groan from moving past his lips.
"Yue�" he said hoarsely, his hands coming up to grip Yue's back. "Yue�
onegai�"
"Nani?" Yue whispered, turning his head to meet Eriol's eyes.
"Are you sure that you�?" Eriol asked, confusion flashing briefly
across his eyes.
Yue stared at him for a moment and then laughed quietly, shaking his
head once before he slid back off of Eriol's lap. Eriol watched as
Yue crawled back across the carpet towards the nest of blankets he'd
left behind and settled himself there on his back, lifting his knees
and turning to lift an eyebrow when Eriol didn't immediately follow.
"Ima, koi," Yue commanded quietly, lifting a finger and curling it
towards himself. Eriol took a quick breath, running a hand through
his hair before he made his way over to Yue, trying not to groan
aloud again at the sight of Yue lying in the blankets like that, so
obviously wanton.
"Are you asking if I'm sure whether or not I want this?" Yue asked,
leaning up on an elbow and continuing to regard Eriol with one
skeptically raised eyebrow. Eriol nodded, so Yue sighed softly. "Give
me your hand."
Eriol hesitantly held out his hand, then groaned again when Yue
lowered it down the length of his body, stopping to gently curl
Eriol's fingers around Yue's erection. Yue returned his gaze to
Eriol's and leaned upwards, pressing his lips to Eriol's.
"What do you think?" Yue whispered against Eriol's mouth.
Eriol briefly considered trying to come up with some sort of witty
answer to this, but in the end all he managed was a soft moan as he
slid himself overtop of Yue, his hand leaving Yue's erection. He
deepened the kiss as his hands stroked down Yue's sides and then
underneath him, caressing his back. Yue let out a soft sigh and then
a quiet gasp when Eriol broke away from the kiss and started to kiss
his way down Yue's neck and chest. Eriol smiled when he heard a sound
distinctly like a purr start deep in Yue's chest as Eriol's lips and
tongue explored the pale skin that shuddered under his touch.
Within Yue's mind, Yuki was quivering with sensation, torn somewhere
between excitement and a fear that only the strength of his own
feelings and Yue's could soothe. It felt so strange to be intruding
on this, and yet, it felt like it was his pleasure, too�it was his
body�he could feel each touch as though it was meant for him�was this
what Yue felt when Touya made love to Yuki? Yuki sighed softly and
allowed himself to settle back into the stream of Yue's consciousness�
to simply feel.
Eriol's hands were at Yue's hips again, this time tracing around
their curves and tugging gently until Yue lifted his legs on either
side of Eriol's hips, pressing their erections together through the
fabric of Eriol's robes. This was enough to make Yue cry out softly
and arch himself up towards Eriol, but to add to it, Eriol's mouth
had finally found its way to one of Yue's nipples. At first Yue
stiffened at the hot touch against his mildly chilled skin, but then
he shuddered deeply and pushed himself up, trying to press closer.
"Eriol�" he moaned as Eriol's tongue flickered out, tasting, and Yue
groaned in frustration when Eriol suddenly stopped and sat up. Yue
opened his eyes, looking up to Eriol for an explanation.
"Yue�" Eriol whispered, his hand now resting gently on Yue's
belly. "Say that again."
"Say what?" Yue said, frowning slightly before he raised an
eyebrow. "I do *not* moan on command."
Eriol chuckled.
"You don't have to moan it�just say it," Eriol said huskily, leaning
down to nuzzle his nose into Yue's temple. The smile on his face was
warmer than any he'd given Yue yet that evening. "You've never called
me by name before."
Yue's frown deepened.
"Yes I have," he countered, reaching up a hand into Eriol's hair.
"Well, my full name, sou," Eriol said with a grin. He was kissing
along Yue's jawbone now, making his way back towards Yue's throat.
"Would you prefer I moan your full name?" Yue asked, lifting both
eyebrows now.
Eriol chuckled as he settled himself between Yue's legs again,
shuddering pleasantly at the quiet sound of Yue's moan.
"Iie�it's fine," he said, giving Yue a warm smile. "Say it again, Yue�
onegai."
"You're a bit odd," Yue informed Eriol as he wrapped his arms around
Eriol's neck. "Did you know?"
"Ee," Eriol said with a cheeky grin.
"Hm," Yue said, shaking his head slightly before he leaned up to
brush a kiss across Eriol's lips. "Fine then�*Eriol*."
Eriol closed his eyes before kissing Yue gently.
"Arigatou," he whispered, and then he pressed Yue down against the
blankets with the weight of his body, making Yue catch his breath
before he lost it for several moments to the press of Eriol's kiss.
When Eriol broke the kiss, his eyes were open again and he was
peering down at Yue curiously as his hand came up to push some of
Yue's bangs away from his face, seeking a clear glimpse into Yue's
purplish-silver eyes.
"So what *did* you have to say to me, Yue?" Eriol asked curiously,
raising his eyebrows. "Or was it simply that you were attracted to
me?"
Yue smiled, threading his fingers through Eriol's hair again, loving
the feeling of the coarse black strands running through his fingers.
"Iya, not simply that," he said, leaning up to nuzzle his nose
against the corner of Eriol's mouth. "But don't you know what I had
to say yet?"
Eriol shook his head.
Yue chuckled softly.
"Baka," he said quietly before he leaned up closer, breathing gently
against Eriol's ear before he whispered his secret. "Watashi wa�anata
ga�suki desu."
Eriol caught his breath, but there was something in the sound that
Yue hadn't expected�something strange about it that made Yue opened
his eyes and turn his head, seeking Eriol's eyes. Eriol met his gaze,
looking suddenly surprised and pained.
"Yue, you�" Eriol whispered, and then he closed his eyes. "You love
me?"
Yue frowned, confusion and discomfort giving him a sudden chill. He
felt Yuki catch his breath.
"You really didn't know," Yue stated, sounding doubtful.
Eriol swallowed and slowly drew back until he was kneeling. Blinking
in confusion, Yue sat up, reaching out to touch Eriol's shoulder.
"Eriol, doushita no�?"
His voice trailed off as he stared at the pain on Eriol's face and
suddenly realized what was wrong. And just as abruptly---as quickly
as that---his heart died again, as quickly as it had so long ago, the
day that Clow left his life.
"You don't love me," Yue said quietly, and he fought to hold Eriol's
eyes, long enough to see the answer at least, but he couldn't�after
only a few seconds he had to close his eyes or risk breaking down. He
didn't want to cry�the last thing he wanted to do in this moment was
cry. He felt Yuki freeze in pain, indecision and disbelief.
"Yue�" Eriol whispered, but his voice died away when Yue jumped away
from his touch. Eriol hastened to explain, leaning forward, agony in
his voice as he saw the way Yue started to shake. "Yue, it's not that
I don't�it's that I don't know *what* I feel."
"What are you talking about?" Yue growled, lifting eyes that blazed
with pain and anger to meet Eriol's, and Eriol winced before he
forced himself to continue despite his own discomfort.
"Yue�the truth is that you may well know the difference between Clow
Read and me�but�" Eriol swallowed, closing his eyes, his voice
dropping to a whisper as he finally brought himself to admit the
truth. "But I'm not sure whether I do."
"Nani�?" Yue said, and when Eriol opened his eyes again, Yue was
frowning more deeply than Eriol had ever seen him frown before, his
confusion and disappointment evident.
"I mean that�I've tried all my life to separate my own feelings and
his�" Eriol whispered, shaking his head. "But sometimes I still can't
distinguish between which emotions belong to me and which are just
his memories�"
He met Yue's eyes, his gaze pleading with Yue to try to understand
what he was saying.
"I do care for you, Yue, deeply," Eriol murmured. "But how do I know
whether I care for you with the strength of my own feelings, or
whether what I'm feeling is because of his memories of you�?"
His voice trailed off and he frowned deeply as he watched the anguish
that moved over Yue's eyes.
"Kuso," Eriol whispered hoarsely, dropping his eyes to stare at the
floor.
"You mean�you're not sure whether you love me or whether�" Yue let
out a slow breath, closing his eyes. "Whether you only *remember*
loving me."
Eriol nodded, bringing up his hands to scrub at his face.
"Gomen nasai, Yue," Eriol whispered into the deep, horrible silence
that followed Yue's words. "Gomen nasai. This is my fault. I never
should have let it get this far�it's because I'm not strong enough�"
When he finally dropped his hands and looked up, he found Yue staring
into the fire, his eyes cold and dead.
"Yue�" he began, reaching out a hand. Before he could touch Yue, Yue
sighed quietly and got to his feet. Eriol watched as Yue quickly did
up his robe and moved his hair out of the way a bit so he could walk
more easily.
"Never mind," Yue said quietly, sounding exhausted. "I should go."
"Iie!" Eriol exclaimed, jumping to his feet. Yue narrowed a mildly
annoyed gaze at him, but Eriol returned it determinedly. "Yue, you
can't go out in this storm�you're still cold from the first time�"
"Better the devil you know, as the humans say," Yue said calmly, and
Eriol allowed only the briefest flash of hurt to move across his face
before he composed himself.
"I won't let you go," he said quietly, reaching out an arm, and as
Yue's eyes followed the motion, he saw the door handle turn slightly
and heard the distinct sound of a lock clicking into place.
Annoyance flickered across Yue's gaze as he turned back to meet
Eriol's eyes.
"Is this about the storm, Eriol?" Yue asked evenly.
"Iie," Eriol replied in a similar tone, brow furrowing in a deep
frown. "I intend to figure this out, Yue�it's time I stopped running
from it. And I don't intend to let you run from it either."
Yue stared at him in silence for a moment before he sighed quietly
and ran a hand back through his hair.
"And what do you intend to do with me in the meantime?" he asked
tiredly.
Eriol's frown deepened into a scowl.
"I thought perhaps I would offer you a place to sleep," he said
quietly, evidently a bit peeved by Yue's implication.
Yue arched an eyebrow slightly at that, and when Eriol continued to
look angry, Yue's irritation slowly faded and he smiled, in spite of
himself. Eriol's frown cracked a bit, surprise showing behind the
annoyance in his eyes.
"I will sleep," Yue agreed with a gracious nod, turning to glance
meaningfully towards Eriol's futon. "But only if you will sleep
beside me."
Eriol's frown faded the rest of the way into a look of mild
irritation.
"Yue, please try to understand�I *can't* make love to you if I don't
know how I feel�if you love me, I can't do that to you."
"Who said anything about sex?" Yue asked archly, and Eriol's eyebrows
spiked towards his hairline. Yue's smile widened. "I believe what I
suggested was *sleep*, Eriol."
Eriol stared at him in blank incomprehension for a minute.
"You simpleton," Yue said after a moment, barely able to speak
through his chuckles. He reached down, grabbing Eriol's hand, and
Eriol blinked as he found himself dragged towards his bed. "Obviously
I'm going to have to be a little more obvious, even towards the
second most powerful magician in the world. Perhaps if I mention the
word `Dream' the suggestion might make its way into your thick skull."
Eriol blinked. Yue was quite correct; the moment he heard Yue
carefully enunciate the word `Dream' in English rather than Japanese,
which could only mean that he intended it to mean the spell rather
than a simple dream, Yue's entire meaning clicked in Eriol's mind.
"Yue�you don't think�?"
"If you're not confident enough in the power of your dreams," Yue
said patiently as he pulled back the covers and encouraged Eriol to
get into bed, "then you might wish to `Return' as well."
Eriol cringed, just as Yue got into bed with him and curled up
against his chest.
"Yue�you do realize that you�make an awful lot of sense."
"Of course I do," Yue said simply, the tone of his voice making it
clear that he was still amused.
"I feel�quite stupid."
"Of course you are," Yue said with a nod.
Eriol glanced down at Yue with a mild glare.
"Arigatou," he growled softly. "For the support."
"You obviously need it," Yue said, nodding confidentially against
Eriol's chest. "Mmhm. `Magical Morons Anonymous.' I think perhaps you
should look into it�"
"Arigatou, Yue�I think I have the general idea now."
"Just trying to help," Yue said with a smile before he leaned up to
give Eriol a kiss on the cheek. "Oyasumi, Eriol."
"Oyasumi nasai, Yue."
*****
END PART NINE