Fandom: Card Captor Sakura
Date Finished: October 29th, 2003 (my 21st birthday! ;P)
Classification: Romance, Angst
Pairing: Eriol/Yue, Clow/Yue, Touya/Yukito, mild hints of Touya/Yue
Rating: NC-17
Note: Sequel to `Love Is�', but can be read independently.
Glass
By Elsewhere
<[email protected]>
All other information in Part One.
Glossary:
aa - yeah
aishiteru - I love you
ano - um
arigatou - thank you
baka - idiot
chigau - no; that's wrong
demo - but
hai - yes; okay
iie - no
iya - no
nan demo nai - nothing
nani? - what?
ohayo - good morning
onegai shimasu - please (formal)
sou da - that's right
sumimasen - I'm sorry; excuse me
To-ya - an alternate romanization and pronunciation of Touya's name---
Yuki's affectionate nickname for Touya
wakatta - I know; I understand
*****
You've captured me
For all time
My heart cannot
Open for anyone else
*****
For the next three weeks, once every few days after Yuki was finished
with work he would go to Eriol's house, and Yue would spend a few
hours with Eriol. To a casual observer these quiet hours, spent in
idle conversation or reflective silence, sometimes accompanied by a
game of chess or a pot of tea, might have seemed inconsequential:
nothing but two old acquaintances spending time together. But to Yue,
every hour allowed him to slide another piece into the jigsaw puzzle
his mind was slowly building, a picture of Hiiragizawa Eriol. Every
hour spent in Eriol's presence provided Yue with another recognition
of the similarities between Clow and Eriol, and yet every hour, for
Yue, equally evidenced the fact that Eriol was someone quite
different.
One rather large jigsaw piece happened to fall into his lap on a
particularly lazy Sunday, just as afternoon was starting to slide its
way towards evening. At the time, Yue and Eriol were playing a
particularly casual game of chess, Eriol sitting with his legs
crossed, eyes only occasionally glancing upwards towards his
opponent, while Yue sat with his elbow against the table and chin in
his hand, regarding the chess board from under half-lowered eyelids.
His sleepiness was, of course, entirely feigned, and only a half-
hearted attempt to hide from Eriol the fact that he was cheating. Of
course, Eriol knew this fact perfectly well nonetheless, but took no
notice, particularly because he was also cheating. For some reason,
Nakuru, who had spent most of the afternoon playing the hawk over
Yue's shoulder and crowing agitatedly whenever Yue sneaked several
pieces off the board, didn't seem perturbed in the least by Eriol's
own actions, although surely her eyes were sharp enough to also
notice that the sleeves of Eriol's robe were starting to bulge from
the weight of the pieces he'd stashed there.
"Mm�" Nakuru murmured finally with a yawn, stretching her hands
towards the sky. "Only the two kings left now. I wonder where the
rest of the pieces went�?"
"I honestly have no idea," Eriol said with a discreet cough, and he
blinked innocently when the motion of his body caused a number of
plastic chessmen to scatter from the safety of his sleeves, cracking
loudly against the pavement beneath the table.
"It's a mystery," Yue remarked noncommittally, regarding Nakuru from
beneath his lowered lids with the same idle interest with which he
had been eyeing the chess board for the last hour.
"Hmph," Nakuru said, as she gingerly picked a bishop out of Yue's
hair. She glanced up suspiciously when for a moment, seeing the chess
piece held so carefully between her slender fingers, Yue's resolve
seemed about to crack, the briefest of smiles flickering against his
lips.
She sighed.
"Well, I'm going to go make dinner," Nakuru said, rolling her eyes at
both of them. "If you two ever decide to stop being immature, feel
free to stop in and have a bite."
Eriol chuckled quietly behind a hand as his guardian flounced off
towards the house, slamming the door behind herself.
"Do you suppose she's really disappointed in us, or simply jealous?"
Eriol asked, smiling as he watched Yue slowly lift his eyes to meet
Eriol's gaze.
"Jealous?" Yue repeated, without any particular inflection.
Eriol's smile widened.
"Yes. Ruby has always particularly resented you for the place you
still hold in my memory, and for the respect I have for you. You are
her direct counterpart, after all."
As of yet, Eriol and Yue hadn't spoken of the two guardians Eriol had
created, both alike and unlike those created by Clow.
"She has also always resented me for the fact that I deprived her of
something she wanted," Yue murmured after a moment's reflection, and
he took the opportunity of Eriol's smile---eyes closed, of course---
to sneak Eriol's king off the board, tossing it hastily into the
bushes to one side.
"Yes, that's true, I sup�" Eriol began, but his voice cut off into a
burst of laughter when he opened his eyes and spotted the near-empty
chess board, Yue's king standing in a solitary position of victory.
Eriol glanced up, lifting an eyebrow, and Yue gave him a long, slow
blink from beneath long silver eyelashes, very effectively giving the
impression that he had no idea what Eriol was laughing at.
"Ah, Yue�" Eriol said through his chuckles, grinning warmly. "I
remember so well how often you used to do this, you and Cerberus�you
would sit across from me just as you are now, and you�"
His voice trailed away into silence as he watched Yue slowly lift his
chin from his hand and regard him with mildly narrowed eyes. Quickly,
he traced his words back to their source, and winced perceptively
when he realized what he'd done. He closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Yue�I didn't mean�"
"So defensive," Yue murmured, and Eriol's eyes snapped open, his
voice falling silent when he saw the way Yue's eyes had softened. Yue
tilted his head slightly, and after a moment he offered Eriol a
small, hesitant smile. "I know�I know very well what it's like to
occasionally confuse my own memories with those of somebody else. So
don't be so defensive."
For several moments Eriol seemed torn between uncertainty and shame,
but Yue persisted, holding Eriol's eyes and smiling that same slight,
determined smile until the tension slowly released from the younger
man's shoulders and he allowed himself a small smile of his own.
"Thank you, Yue," Eriol said finally, closing his eyes and inclining
his head towards Yue in a slight bow. "Your understanding is greatly
appreciated."
They spent another moment in companionable silence, each of them
contemplating the words they'd spoken in the last few minutes.
"You really do remember the strangest things," Yue remarked finally,
inevitably, his eyes again on the chess board. "Little details that I
myself had forgotten. Three lumps of sugar�the way we used to play
chess�"
"�The way you used to smile," Eriol said quietly, his tone suddenly,
utterly somber as he leaned forward, eyes open now and watching Yue
closely. Yue's eyes shot up, widening in surprise. "I remember the
way you used to smile, before he died."
/I wish you would smile for me./
The thought was unmistakable, wavering across the idly guarded
connection between them and embedding itself in Yue's thoughts. At
first Yue wasn't sure how to react, but he certainly didn't mean to
react in the way he eventually did. The moment he felt the blush
creeping up his cheeks, he hastily dropped his eyes back to the chess
board, and cleared his throat.
"By the way," he said, trying to sound casual and wincing inwardly at
the way his voice quavered, "�check mate."
His hand reached out towards the one remaining chess piece. He froze,
the blush suddenly becoming a full red bloom when his fingers brushed
lightly against Eriol's, hovering over the abandoned king. Yue
snatched back his hand and sat ramrod straight, his former casual
posture dissolving entirely. His eyes were fixed on his lap, and he
tried to ignore the way Yuki's consciousness was bouncing around
excitedly in his mind, making it painfully obvious that at least one
of the two of them had just had an epiphany.
"What makes you think the game is over?" Eriol asked quietly, and
when Yue finally reluctantly lifted his eyes, the first thing he saw
was the white king held carefully between Eriol's thumb and
forefinger. Slowly, Yue allowed his gaze to travel upwards, until he
found Eriol's soft grey-blue eyes. For the first time, it was Eriol's
eyes that held a hint of challenge, daring Yue to take the bait.
Fortunately, Yue was saved from the task of trying to come up with a
suitable reply by the sound of Nakuru's shrill cry out of the kitchen
window.
"Supper's ready!"
"Ah, good, I'm famished," said Eriol, and oddly enough, his voice
sounded strangely as though he was about to laugh. "Won't you join us
for dinner, Yue?"
"No," Yue blurted, getting quickly to his feet.
<Yue!> Yuki exclaimed, as though he was capable at this point of
being surprised at his other self's capacity for rudeness.
Eriol smiled, but Yue could feel a pulse of real embarrassment move
across the barrier.
"I'm sorry, Yue�I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Eriol said
in a tone of genuine contriteness. He took the few steps around the
table to stand in front of Yue and lifted his hand, palm up. Yue
dared a glance at it, and saw the white king resting lightly against
Eriol's palm.
"Let's consider it a draw," Eriol suggested, and he was obviously
trying to be serious, but he failed miserably when Yue took a step
back and several plastic chess pieces tumbled out of his hair and
clacked against the ground.
Through his laughter, all Eriol managed was a good-humored, "Here,
let me help," as Yue, extremely flustered, took another step
backwards, obviously feeling a bit cornered.
Yue watched, feeling his cheeks burning again, as Eriol carefully
placed the white king aside and stepped towards Yue, moving around
behind him.
"Hold still," Eriol murmured, smiling warmly as he started to pick
the remaining chessmen out of Yue's hair, his hands extremely gentle
as they moved through the delicate silver strands. Slowly, Yue let
out the breath he'd been holding and relaxed, waiting patiently for
Eriol to complete his task.
One moment passed in silence, and then two, and then Yue noticed
something odd�suddenly Eriol's hands weren't so careful in his hair.
If anything, he had become more gentle, but his movements were no
longer methodical�now his fingertips paused, lingered, stroking
cautiously through the fine strands as he worked the chessmen free.
Along with this realization came two others, just as quickly. First,
Yue became aware of the fact that the movement of Eriol's hands was
accompanied by a strange feeling from Eriol himself, unhampered by
the full force of Eriol's usual mental barriers because of the close
contact. At first Yue was sure he couldn't quite identify the heavy,
soft emotion that wavered from Eriol's fingertips through Yue, fast
enough to leave him trembling slightly, but then he realized that he
did know this feeling�something slightly more than curiosity or
fondness, and just slightly less than longing.
The second thing Yue realized almost immediately was that the pulse
of feeling that moved through his consciousness, leaving him
breathless, wasn't entirely Eriol's. Mixed in with Eriol's sentiment
was something of his own, something so foreign to his experience now
that it took him utterly by surprise, and left him wondering if his
knees would hold him upright for much longer. Part of him was hoping
fervently that there were a good deal more chessmen than he
remembered, and that he'd tucked them further into his hair than he'd
meant to at the time, so that perhaps Eriol's hand might brush just
slightly against the small of his back, or the curve of his hip, as
he was questing towards his goal�
Yue shook his head, suddenly, blinking in shock at himself, at the
odd turn his thoughts were taking. Yuki, too, seemed oddly frozen
within his mind. But the moment he moved, Yue froze, his entire body
going stiff as he realized that somehow, his thoughts had become a
reality. The movement of his body had brought him suddenly in contact
with Eriol's fingertips, pressing through the strands of his hair and
brushing ever so slightly against his hip. As quickly as he became
aware of this, Yue also realized that he wasn't the only one who had
noticed. Eriol was suddenly very quiet; the only thing that pierced
the silence between them was the sound of Eriol's breath, soft and
yet somehow harsh against the cool evening air. For a moment he felt
as though if he pressed just slightly closer, until Eriol's palm
rested against his hip, then he might be able to see for once exactly
what Eriol was feeling, what went on behind that cool blue-grey
mirror that always shielded his eyes�but then it was gone.
Eriol had withdrawn his hand, and held up a rook for Yue's
inspection.
"There. That's the last of them," Eriol said, and if he knew that his
voice was strangely hoarse, he did nothing about it, only swallowing
calmly as Yue nodded and lifted a hand to clasp the chess piece,
carefully avoiding touching Eriol's skin.
Yue kept his mouth tightly shut for several moments, afraid of what
he might say, how his mind might betray him now, in the moments since
Eriol's emotions had suddenly become a total blank to him. The
feelings he had received through Eriol's touch had hidden themselves
behind a solid wall of black as Eriol withdrew, turning to make his
way back around to his side of the table.
But regardless of the thoughts of his mind, Yue's hand obviously had
other ideas, because Yue could have sworn that he hadn't deliberately
meant for it to reach up just then, to grab Eriol's sleeve so gently
and yet so insistently. He watched the way Eriol turned back to him,
watched the way Eriol's eyes widened slightly, releasing his pupils
from their mysteriously dilated state.
"If you intend to attract my interest�" Yue said quietly, surprised
at how even his voice sounded�almost as even as Eriol had sounded
several moments before, when he had spoken of the game. In this
moment, Yue was entirely aware that although Eriol hadn't been
speaking of chess, he also hadn't been speaking of this; the look in
Eriol's eyes told him that he wasn't the only one who hadn't
consciously considered this development until now. "�You needn't
bother. You have my attention."
Eriol stared at him in silence for several moments, although he did
swallow several times, as though he couldn't quite moisten his throat
enough to speak. When he finally did open his mouth, obviously about
to say something important, something that would change things
forever, for better or worse�
"ERIOL!!!"
Both of them jumped, each moving several steps backward, like two
guilty junior high students caught in a compromising position,
despite the fact that they hadn't even been touching.
"Are you coming to eat or not!?" Nakuru demanded from where she now
stood in the back doorway, frowning thunderously towards her
master. "Honestly, don't you ever appreciate the things I do for
you!?"
Both Yue and Eriol stared at her as though she'd just sprouted six
legs.
"Well!?" Nakuru demanded, waving ominously towards Eriol with a
spatula.
"Er�" Yue began finally, and then he paused for a moment, mainly
because he was trying to remember the last time he had said anything
even approaching an `Er'. "I should go. To-ya will be waiting."
"Of course," Eriol said, coughing slightly when he heard the way his
voice started towards an embarrassing squeak. "Give him my regards."
"I will," Yue said, and then he nodded curtly as though they'd just
finished a business dealing, and he turned on his heel and left.
"Give him my regards?" Eriol repeated to himself, closing his eyes
and pressing his palm to his forehead. "How�idiotic."
"Nani?" Nakuru asked curiously, blinking several times as she fought
to understand what she had just witnessed.
"Uh�nan demo nai," Eriol said quickly, shaking his head and offering
her a shaky smile. "What's for dinner, Ruby? It smells delicious�"
Meanwhile, Yue had waited until he was in the shelter of the trees in
Eriol's front yard before he allowed himself to transform back to
Yukito, who only barely managed to refrain from assaulting him with a
barrage of questions.
<Just�go home,> Yue muttered, and Yuki couldn't quite tell whether he
was merely confused, or on his way towards a royal bad temper. <Give
me some time to think.>
Yuki only nodded silently as he started on his way home, but he
couldn't quite contain the way his heart was beating. For the first
time, he had briefly felt what it was like to feel his own emotions
swept away in the tide of something more powerful from his other
self. Even now, his throat felt dry at the thought of it. He couldn't
quite decide if what he felt was discomfort or excitement, but either
way, he intended to speak to Yue about this as soon as possible, and
after that�he thought he would have to have a talk with Touya.
Probably�a very *long* talk.
The way Yue grumbled in his mind told him instantly that in this, the
two of them were in agreement.
*****
That evening was one of the most awkward Yuki could ever remember
spending with Touya, and considering what he and Touya had gone
through just over three months before, that was quite a claim to
make. Yuki fidgeted throughout dinner, remaining in uncomfortable
silence despite the fact that the whirlwind of conflicting thoughts
and emotions that was spinning through Yue's mind in the background
of Yuki's consciousness was making Yuki so restless he thought surely
he could have bounced around the house like a rabbit and it wouldn't
have helped to release the excess agitation. Even deliberately
thinking up an image as humorous as that didn't catch Yue's
attention, much less distract him from his reverie.
Touya, for his part, said nothing about Yuki's strange behavior,
although Yuki knew better than to believe Touya hadn't noticed. Yuki
was relieved beyond measure by Touya's patience, and when he finally
pushed back his chair and quietly thanked Touya for the food, he
could see by the look in Touya's eyes when their gazes met briefly
that Touya understood that the thanks wasn't just for the meal.
Yuki couldn't decide what to do after that. He tried to read a book,
but ended up reading the same paragraph nearly fifteen times before
he finally placed the book aside and sighed, running his hands
through his hair before he reached out for the remote control and
switched the TV on. He flicked through several channels before
finally settling on a movie that looked somewhat interesting, but
after only a few minutes the image on the screen switched to a scene
of two people playing chess. Yuki fumbled the remote control and
nearly fell off the bed directly on his head in the mad scramble to
catch it, which, although embarrassing, *did* finally manage to catch
Yue's attention.
"Yuki," Touya called from the office next door, "what the hell is
going on in there?"
"N�nan demo nai!" Yuki called back as he quickly turned off the TV
and put the remote control on the table. "I'm just�trying out for the
klutz of the month award."
"Baka," Touya returned easily, and then the apartment fell silent
again, and Yuki became painfully aware of the clock on the wall,
ticking the seconds by as he sat stiffly on the bed, legs crossed,
staring at his hands. He knew why it seemed so unnaturally quiet to
him. Yue's thoughts had come to a complete standstill, and Yue
remained dormant in the back of his mind for an interminable period
of time, until Yuki thought surely he would scream with frustration.
<How�do you feel about this?> Yue finally asked, in a soft, quiet
tone that sent an odd shiver dancing up Yuki's spine.
Yuki didn't have to ask what Yue was talking about; both of them had
been thinking about what had happened that afternoon ever since,
analyzing every second in minute detail. Yue, for his part, had been
remembering various glances and touches, placing them alongside
forgotten sensations and comparing them for compatibility. Yuki had
been so busy trying not to eavesdrop and yet at the same time trying
desperately to understand or even anticipate Yue's eventual reaction
to the realization of that afternoon that he hadn't even bothered to
examine his own feelings on the matter. But now that the question was
directly asked, he found that he really didn't have to think about it
for long.
"It feels�strange," he admitted, letting out a breath he hadn't
realized he'd been holding as he forced himself to relax back against
the headboard.
<You feel embarrassed,> Yue murmured, <�as though you've intruded on
something private.>
Yuki closed his eyes, and allowed his memories to carry him back to
the first few months after he had become aware of Yue's existence.
Those first months had been confusing for both of them as Yuki grew
used to the sensation of another personality awakening within his
mind, and Yue grew used to the fact that his thoughts would now be
under the same scrutiny he had paid Yuki's until that point.
Even before Touya had given Yue his power and finally discussed Yue's
existence with Yuki, Yuki had begun on occasion to have the strange
sensation that he wasn't alone, except that it wasn't like that all-
too-common feeling of being followed or having someone standing over
your shoulder watching your every move. This feeling was much more
personal�more like that something within his own mind was awakening,
and watching him. After Yue had accepted Touya's power, Yuki had
finally been able to accept the fact that he truly wasn't alone.
After that, he started more and more to feel Yue's presence, until
after only a few weeks, he was almost always aware of Yue's thoughts,
and aware of Yue's voice, separating itself from Yuki's consciousness
and speaking to him. It took months, however, before Yuki was
comfortable with what his mind still resisted as an invasion, and not
long after that, he had begun to realize that Yue felt the same way,
particularly when it came to certain aspects of Yuki's life�and his
relationship with Touya.
It had literally taken years before both of them had become truly
comfortable with each other, and Yuki had received the impression
that the transition had been even more difficult for Yue. For the
longest time, Yue had recoiled from the fact that even in some slight
way he had to participate in Touya and Yuki's romance, and especially
their lovemaking. Oddly, Yuki found that once he had accepted Yue's
place in his own life, he had almost as readily accepted Yue's place
in his relationship with Touya. Although at first he had felt some
resentment towards Yue for what he had seen as an intrusion into a
private area of his life, he had gotten over those feelings
remarkably easily. Yue, on the other hand, had taken considerably
longer to stop feeling a rough, heavy feeling that to Yuki felt
vaguely like shame whenever Yue would experience, just as clearly as
Yuki did, the intense sensation of Touya's touch.
Now, finally, Yuki understood entirely what Yue had been feeling.
"It's different," Yuki said out loud, insistently, frowning slightly
towards the mirror across the room. "You'd had months to come to
trust Touya�you must have trusted him, or you wouldn't have accepted
his power�"
<Are you saying you do not trust Hiiragizawa Eriol?> Yue said
quietly, and Yuki paused, mouth hanging open slightly as he fought to
come up with an answer to that, and realized that he was trying too
hard.
"I�iie," he said finally, dropping his eyes back to his hands, pale
and small, resting against his knees. "I'm not saying that. I�trust
him."
<How much?> Yue asked, voice falling soft again.
"I�why are you asking me this!?" Yuki demanded, lifting his head
again to stare into the mirror. He could see the conflict in his own
eyes, and knew it wasn't all his own. "You're the one that�"
<Iya,> Yue said somewhat sharply, cutting Yuki off mid-sentence. <If
I take that step, you take it as well. This is another thing I will
not do without your knowledge and consent. I can consider this no
further until I have your answer.>
"Demo Yue, I�"
<You must understand what would happen,> Yue said firmly. <You must
understand that my feelings would not be the only ones at risk.>
Yuki was silent to that, finally closing his eyes to shut out the
sight of his own confused expression in the mirror.
"I�can't love him," Yuki said softly. "I can't."
He felt something, an odd sort of reluctance, waver through him,
courtesy of the open connection between his feelings and Yue's.
<And if you do?> Yue asked, in a voice so soft it was almost gentle.
<If you do come to love him? You know�you must know that I love To-
ya.>
Yuki caught his breath, eyes snapping open and going wide.
<My love for him is not the same as yours,> Yue continued quietly.
<But I love him. If I love�Eriol�what if you come to love him as
well? Are you comfortable with that?>
Yuki's forehead had creased in something that wasn't quite a frown
and wasn't quite simple confusion.
"I�" Yuki began, and then his voice fell silent�he had no idea what
to say, and no matter how hard he pushed himself, he knew that wasn't
going to change until he'd had more time to think.
<Then do,> Yue said simply, with a mental shrug. <Give yourself time
to think. Take a bath. I'll be waiting.>
Almost despite himself, Yuki found himself getting to his feet and
making his way towards the bathroom, simply because it would give him
something to do. He left the door open as he usually did, and almost
the moment he'd lowered himself into the bath, sinking chest-deep
into hot water and bubbles, he heard a footstep out in the hall, and
then Touya appeared in the doorway. Yuki, sans glasses, lifted his
head and blinked up at Touya's familiar blurry shape questioningly.
"To-ya," Yuki said, a bit surprised, as Touya came into the bathroom
and sat down on the tiled edge of the tub, heedless of the moisture
that seeped into the fabric of his blue jeans.
"Thought maybe you could use someone to scrub your back," Touya said
casually, offering Yuki a gentle grin which Yuki slowly returned as
he tried to relax down into the water, letting the hot water pull the
chill of conscious thought slowly away. Yue had gone entirely dormant
again, seemingly taking a doze within Yuki's mind as Yuki relaxed,
arms crossed over the edge of the tub and head resting against his
arms, letting his eyes fall closed. He sighed softly when he felt
Touya's hand against his head, Touya's fingers stroking lightly
through the soft grey strands of his hair.
He didn't open his eyes or look up when he heard Touya get up, even
when he heard the sounds of rustling cloth and running water. He only
finally opened his eyes when Touya stepped into the water just behind
him, and Yuki had to shift to the left to allow Touya room enough to
sit down. Almost the moment Touya had settled himself back against
the wall of the tub, Yuki moved back again and relaxed himself into
his usual position between Touya's legs, his back pressed against
Touya's front. He sighed quietly, letting himself relax into the
warmth and comfort of Touya's touch as Touya slowly ran his hands
over Yuki's arms and legs and stomach, lathering soap over his skin
and then pausing to rub little circles in the bubbles, just to allow
himself the extra moments to touch.
"To-ya," Yuki breathed, just as Touya's hand closed gently around
Yuki's semi-erect penis. His palm felt soft, made slick by soap as he
moved his hand up and down the familiar length, only pausing slightly
when Yuki's hand fell to his. Touya waited to see if permission was
about to be denied and then relaxed back into the rhythm of his
former motions when Yuki's hand only closed around his, helping.
"Mm?" Touya murmured against Yuki's neck, his lips gently caressing
down the curve of his shoulder.
"Do you�" Yuki had to pause, his breath catching in the back of his
throat as Touya's touch became more insistent, "�love Yue?"
Touya's hand stilled, fingers going slack for a moment, and Yuki
opened his eyes, staring forward at a tile across the way that
suddenly seemed extremely fascinating.
"Aa," Touya said finally, a harsh whisper that echoed against the
moist tiles. Touya paused, then, and Yuki imagined that he could hear
Touya moistening his lips. "�Do you mind?"
Yuki shook his head, and slowly closed his fingers around the back of
Touya's hand, encouraging him, until slowly, almost contemplatively,
Touya began to run his fingertips along the length of Yuki's sex.
"I don't mind," Yuki said quietly, closing his eyes again and leaning
his head back against Touya's shoulder, sighing as he felt Touya's
lips brush against his temple. "Is it the same as the way you love
me�?"
"Chigau," Touya said immediately, but then he paused for a moment as
though considering his answer. "I mean�it's not�I don't love him the
way I�"
His voice finally fell silent, and again his hand halted its motion,
making his awkwardness apparent.
"You don't love him the way you love your sister or your father,"
Yuki said softly. He was aware of the way Yue had come back into his
awareness, settled in silence as he too awaited Touya's answer. "But
not the way you love me."
"Aa," Touya said finally, softly, and his touch grew bolder, clasping
firmly around Yuki now, making Yuki arch his hips up to meet Touya's
strokes.
"And if Yue�loved someone else�not the way he loves you, but if he
loved him�what would you say?"
Yuki's voice was so soft, so hesitant�he was almost surprised by the
way he felt Touya's breath speeding up, puffing out gently against
his shoulder as Touya's hand moved a bit more firmly over Yuki's
flesh.
"I'd say�fine," Touya said softly, so softly that Yuki knew instantly
that he was serious, even though he knew that Touya wouldn't have
lied. "Whatever he wants, it's fine."
Yuki's mouth opened to let out a soft moan as he pressed back against
Touya, feeling Touya's arousal rubbing against him, and alternately
pushed forward into Touya's touch.
"S�sou da," Yuki whispered then, opening his eyes and arching his
back, feeling Touya's arm closing securely around his waist. Yuki's
hands had moved out to either side, pressed against the tiles as he
pushed himself back against Touya, trying to feel him closer, deeper,
wishing nothing more at that moment than to move past this liquid
heat and into release. In his mind, he could hear ragged breathing,
someone else struggling wordlessly towards the end.
<Yue�> Yuki whispered, surprised to hear his own mental voice, to
hear that it sounded like a moan. <Yue, whatever you want�it's fine.
I mean it.>
Yue said nothing in response to this, but he didn't need to say
anything�it was too late to say anything, because all that was left
in the world was Touya, his heat and his skin surrounding them both,
and Touya's hand, pressing closer�just a little farther�
Yuki cried out and arched upwards as climax hit him full force,
shuddering through his body like electricity, wavering for a brief
instant on the knife edge of pain before his muscles relaxed. In his
mind, he heard Yue cry out, a wordless cry, a soundless plea, and
then Yuki shuddered again in the wake of Yue's release, mental more
than physical.
"To-ya�" Yuki whispered as he finally let himself relax back against
Touya, feeling Touya's arms move up around his chest, embracing him
warmly. "Aishiteru."
"Wakatta, Yuki," Touya said patiently, and Yuki could feel his smile
in the curve of his lips against Yuki's shoulder. "Wakatta."
*****
One day passed, and then two, and then a week, without any word. On
Sunday morning when Yuki woke up, he already felt restless. He hadn't
slept much, mainly because of the fact that Yue had once again wound
himself into a hard knot of tension. Every waking moment for Yue had
come to be spent waiting and wondering, and Yuki knew that if
something didn't happen soon, he was going to march over to Eriol's
house and get this resolved one way or another, whether Yue liked it
or not.
Oddly enough, Yue seemed to find this thought amusing, and Yuki felt
slightly better at the lightening of Yue's mood as he got up and got
dressed, making his way out to the kitchen. It was his turn to make
breakfast today, and he set to the task with a new vigor, smiling
slightly and humming as he cooked. Touya glanced up once or twice
from his newspaper with a raised eyebrow, but both times he simply
shook his head and went back to reading, not bothering to ask.
Just as the two of them were getting up to take their dishes to the
sink, someone rang the doorbell, and both of them glanced up,
wondering who would be calling this early on a Sunday morning.
This time Yuki went to answer the door, so it was he who took the
full brunt of the surprise when he saw absolutely no one standing out
in the hallway. He blinked and took a step out into the hallway,
glancing first left and then right.
"Sumimasen," a low, dull voice hailed him, and he instantly glanced
upwards, in the direction the voice had come from. He blinked again,
this time in utter shock, when he spotted Eriol's sun guardian,
Spinel Sun, floating up in the shadows in the corner of the hall, the
fairy-like wings of his false form fluttering silently as he slowly
dropped down to Yuki's height. He eyed Yuki in silence, his large,
cat-like eyes blinking only once in the moments that followed. Yuki
simply stared back, rudely, unable to get his voice to work.
"Ohayo," Spinel said dryly, and then he inclined his head
slightly. "May I come in?"
"Oh�of course," Yuki said, a blush creeping into his cheeks as he
quickly stepped back and waited for Spinel to hover into the room in
front of him before he stepped inside and closed the door behind
himself. Spinel stopped just inside the dining area, eyeing Touya---
who was standing stock-still near the table, apparently a victim of
the same shock that had overtaken Yuki---with the same dull-eyed
stare he'd given Yuki.
"Ohayo," Spinel said again, finally, as an afterthought.
"Ohayo," Touya and Yuki both echoed, and Yuki cringed slightly,
rubbing the back of his head.
After that the room fell into an awkward silence, and when it finally
became painfully apparent that Spinel had no intention of explaining
his presence or doing anything other than peering at Yuki with that
same unnerving, unblinking stare, Yuki and Touya both shifted
slightly, Touya coughing quietly and Yuki clearing his throat.
"Well, I'll be in my office," Touya said, quickly picking up his
coffee and making his way past Yuki, toward his study. Yuki watched
him go, biting his lower lip, feeling torn between betrayal at being
left alone in a difficult situation, and relief at being given a
chance to get to the bottom of this, because he was sure that it was
mainly Touya's presence that left Spinel unwilling to say what he had
come to say.
"Uh�onegai shimasu, Spinel Sun, won't you�have a seat?" Yuki said
awkwardly, glancing between the tiny creature and the enormous chairs
at their dining table.
"Arigatou," Spinel said in the same patient monotone as he fluttered
over and lowered himself to the table top, settling himself on
Touya's place mat. He glanced up at Yuki expectantly, as though
expecting him to take the chair on the other side.
"Ano�did you�want to talk to Yue?" Yuki asked hesitantly, again
reaching up to rub the back of his head.
"Hai," Spinel said simply after a moment of regarding Yuki in
silence.
Yuki felt unspeakably relieved, particularly since Yue didn't seem
nearly as perturbed by the little feline's presence as Yuki felt.
"Ano�one moment�" Yuki said awkwardly, and without pausing to await
an answer, he darted down the hallway and into the bedroom.
"What does he want?" Yuki whispered as he closed the door, and he
closed his eyes as he felt the warmth surround him and then
dissipate, just as quickly.
"Why don't we ask him?" Yue asked, lifting an eyebrow slightly as he
glanced towards the mirror. He shook his head slightly and opened the
door, making his way slowly back out towards the dining room.
"Spinel Sun," Yue said, in a fair approximation of his own best
monotone. He seated himself across from the small animal, who
continued to regard him unblinkingly.
"Yue," Spinel Sun returned, and Yue was relieved in spite of himself
when Spinel continued, obviously content to make clear his point in
coming now that he had Yue alone. "I'm here to speak to you about my
master."
"What about him?" Yue asked, lifting an eyebrow again. The little
beast shook his head slightly.
"Forgive me for intruding. Eriol's affairs---"
"His what?" Yue said somewhat sharply.
"Eriol's activities," Spinel continued smoothly, not disturbed in the
least by the interruption or the mildly affronted tone of Yue's
voice, "are none of my business. Frankly, I don't care in the least
who he associates with, or why. But the fact that I have to live with
him unfortunately has caused this matter to become a concern to me."
Spinel blinked once, owlishly, and Yue fought the urge to squirm. The
little creature somehow conveyed an air of extreme intelligence, and
the calm, dull tone of his voice was starting to grate on Yue's
already-frayed nerves.
"I'll come directly to the point," Spinel said coolly, and Yue
wondered if the other guardian could hear the way his teeth were
grinding against one another of their own accord. "Eriol has become�"
Yue waited, breath held, in the silence of Spinel's pause.
"�unbearable to live with," Spinel said finally, his deadpan tone of
voice finally cracking slightly into something approaching
annoyance. "It would be stupid of either of us to say we don't know
why."
Yue blinked, surprised despite himself at the sun guardian's
perceptiveness.
"Your affairs are none of my concern either," Spinel said simply, and
then, to Yue's surprise, he bowed his head slightly, a very Japanese
gesture of respect. "But I humbly ask you to consider speaking to
Eriol, before at least one of his guardians goes utterly insane and
decides to go on a rampage."
His voice had fallen to a low growl by the time he finished his
speech, and Yue felt his own mouth tightening as he attempted to hold
back a smile.
"Thank you for your time," Spinel said simply, and then he got up and
floated towards the door, dropping down to the level of the handle
and placing his small paw against it.
"Iie�thank you for your time," Yue said as he got to his feet,
stretching his wings slightly before he made his way across the
kitchen. He had spotted a plate of cookies on the kitchen counter,
and he now held the plate up as Spinel turned slowly back, wondering
what Yue wished to say. "I'm sure Hiiragizawa Eriol thanks you for
your concern. In thanks�would you like a cookie?"
It was the lowest of the low---indeed, it was nothing short of cruel--
-but nonetheless, Yue took an odd pleasure in the way Spinel's eyes
widened, and the sound of his voice as he squeaked out a
hurried, "Iie�arigatou" and flitted out of the door, slamming it shut
behind himself.
<Yue,> Yuki said in a tone of admonishment, trying to rein in his own
laughter. <That was mean.>
"People who never display any emotion bother me," Yue said, smiling
slightly as he started back towards the bedroom, listening to the
warm sound of Yuki's laughter echo through his mind.
"So�" Yuki began a few moments later, after he'd regained his
body. "Will you do as he asked?"
<I will do as he challenged,> Yue corrected, and Yuki grinned again.
<This afternoon, if that's convenient.>
"Works for me," Yuki said with a shrug as he settled back on the bed
and picked up his book, willing to at least attempt to occupy himself
until the afternoon, even though he was sure he would spend far more
of it wondering exactly what Yue might say or do that afternoon than
paying attention to the words on the page.
*****
END PART SEVEN