Part Five:
Glossary:
aa - yeah
aishiteru - I love you
daijoubu da - it's okay; I'm okay
daijoubu ka? - are you okay?
gomen - sorry
gomen ne - I'm sorry
hai - yes; okay
kaijuu - monster---Touya's affectionate nickname for Sakura
kaijuu janai - I'm not a monster
konnichiwa - hello
na - hey
onii - older brother
sou da ne - that's true
sumimasen - I'm sorry; excuse me
tadaima - I'm home
To-ya - an alternate romanization and pronunciation of Touya's name---
Yuki's affectionate nickname for Touya
yokatta - I'm glad; thank goodness
*****
You've captured me
With your voice
Trembling inside
Of a glass heart
*****
"Tadaima."
Touya glanced up from the paperwork he'd spread over the table when
he heard the exhaustion in Yuki's voice. He watched as Yuki slowly
closed the door and hung up his jacket, sighing softly. Then Yuki
turned, and for the first time he noticed that Touya wasn't alone.
Sitting across from him at the kitchen table were Sakura and Syaoran,
both looking just as surprised as Touya by Yuki's uncharacteristic
behavior.
"Oh�konnichiwa, Sakura-chan, Li-kun," Yuki greeted them, a soft smile
coming to his lips, even though he knew that all three pairs of eyes
staring at him were sensitive enough to see that the smile was false.
"Konnichiwa, Yukito-san," Sakura answered gently, a slight frown
creasing her brow.
For a moment Yuki stood in awkward silence, wondering what to say
next to reassure them that he was fine, just tired�but before he
could come up with anything, he was startled by the sound of Sakura
shutting the book she'd been reading and getting quickly to her feet.
"Syaoran-kun! I completely lost track of the time. We're supposed to
go to Tomoyo-chan's house this afternoon!"
Syaoran rapidly composed his face into a look of similar chagrin.
"Aa, sou da ne�" he said, getting to his feet and swiftly following
his wife towards the door.
"Sumimasen," Sakura said, turning to bow to both Yuki and
Touya. "Please excuse us. Thank you for having us, Onii-chan."
"Sure," Touya replied casually, only glancing at her briefly before
turning his eyes back to Yuki. "Anytime, kaijuu."
"Kaijuu janai!!" Sakura said with a quick smile before she waved
slightly and quickly made her way out the door, Syaoran at her heels.
Touya waited until the door had closed behind them, then got to his
feet and made his way to Yuki's side.
"Na, Yuki�daijoubu ka?" he asked, laying a hand on Yuki's shoulder.
Yuki was now staring at the door, looking a bit stunned, as though he
regretted having driven Touya's guests away.
"Hm? Oh, To-ya�" Yuki murmured as he finally turned back and looked
up, meeting Touya's concerned gaze. "Gomen. Daijoubu da�I'm just�
tired."
Touya nodded, stepping a bit closer to wrap his arm around Yuki's
shoulders.
"And very hungry," Yuki added, and when Touya laughed softly, Yuki
finally managed a genuine smile.
"Well, good thing I made lunch," Touya said, letting Yuki go and
padding into the kitchen. Yuki followed him, his eyes lighting up
when he saw the huge tray of food Touya had prepared. His smile faded
into mild surprise when Touya stepped in front of the tray, blocking
it from view.
"But you," Touya said, reaching up a finger to poke the tip of Yuki's
nose, "don't get any until you explain what you were doing this
morning."
As he said it, he smiled warmly, and Yuki felt some of the tension
within him release, melting away. Even Yue seemed soothed by Touya's
gentle tone and the warmth in his dark brown eyes.
"Gomen ne," Yuki said with a soft chuckle, glancing downward self-
consciously as he adjusted his glasses on his nose. "We thought we'd
have a bit of harmless fun."
"Harmless? Hmph," Touya said gruffly, grinning as he turned and
picked up the chopsticks on the tray of food, using them to pick up a
clump of rice wrapped in seaweed. He held the food up in front of
Yuki's face and waved it tantalizingly. Yuki's smile widened into a
grin, but he kept his eyes firmly on Touya's face rather than on the
food.
"I don't suppose you'd be willing to forgive us?" Yuki asked
mirthfully, lifting his eyebrows.
"Is that an apology?" Touya asked expectantly in return, raising one
of his own eyebrows and narrowing his eyes, creating an impression of
suspicion.
Yuki laughed again, that soft, sweet sound that Touya loved so much,
and against his will, Touya's face relaxed back into a slight grin.
"Hai�gomen ne, To-ya. Gomen."
"Hmph," Touya grunted again, shaking his head slightly and holding up
the food. Yuki smiled and opened his mouth expectantly, keeping his
eyes on Touya's as Touya gently placed the food on Yuki's
tongue. "Well, I'll accept your apology provisionally."
"Provisionally?" Yuki asked after he swallowed.
"Mmhm," Touya agreed with a smirk as he picked up another piece of
food and popped it into Yuki's mouth. By this time, Yuki had stepped
closer and was leaning slightly against Touya, Touya's free hand on
his waist.
"And what might the provisions be?" Yuki queried, before accepting
another morsel and smiling delightedly. "Mm�this is delicious, To-ya."
"It should be," Touya agreed, and then he looked contemplative for a
moment as he picked through the tray, trying to decide what to feed
Yuki next. "Well, I can think of the first provision."
"Oh?"
Touya nodded, then turned and popped another piece of food into
Yuki's mouth, effectively shutting him up.
"I need a bath," Touya said simply, with a gentle grin. "And you've
got back-scrubbing duty."
Yuki almost choked; trying to laugh and chew at the same time
obviously wasn't healthy.
"Honestly, To-ya," he said sternly when he regained control of
himself. "For such a small transgression, I don't think such a
terrible punishment is warranted."
"Ah, I know I can be cruel," Touya said with a grin. He put down the
chopsticks and placed both hands on Yuki's shoulders, gently turning
him around and guiding him back to the table. "But you'll just have
to bear the hardship."
"I'm sure I'll be fine," Yuki agreed, and Touya paused as he placed
the food tray down in front of Yuki, catching his breath at the depth
of love shining up at him from Yuki's soft amber eyes.
"Yuki�" he began, reaching out to gently brush his knuckles over
Yuki's cheek.
"Aishiteru, To-ya," Yuki said softly, his fingers coming up to brush
lightly over the back of Touya's hand. "Aishiteru."
For a moment Touya paused, but then he smiled warmly and sat down
across from Yuki.
"Go on then," he said, when Yuki continued watching him. "Eat. We can
deal with your punishment later."
Yuki grinned and nodded, and turned his attention to lunch. Already,
he felt much better, some of the weariness he had felt since coming
back from Eriol's house---most of it not his own, but a product of
the bone-deep exhaustion that had settled over Yue as soon as he'd
left Eriol---starting to fade away. He knew that Yue was just as
grateful for Touya's steady, tender presence as Yuki himself was, and
that thought led Yuki to a startling realization. Touya was
everything to him, the most important part of his life�and if Touya
left him, or if he died�then Yuki knew he would be broken�
And that's what had happened to Yue. He had lost the person he loved
the most�not once, it seemed, but twice, because Yue had thought and
hoped that Clow was still alive, when he first met Eriol, only to
find that Eriol and Clow weren't the same at all. Yuki understood
that that still hurt Yue, and he felt that he could understand some
of the reason why�he knew that if he ever lost Touya, he wouldn't
know what to do with himself. That was the situation Yue was in: the
reason he was so tired, so emotionally drained after what had
happened that morning.
It was almost harder to hope than to give up, Yuki realized.
<I won't give up,> Yue murmured in his mind, responding to the train
of his thoughts. <It's difficult, but I won't give up. I intend to
give him his chance.>
"Yokatta, Yue," Yuki whispered, and Touya glanced up, but only smiled
slightly when he saw that Yuki's conscious focus was only on his
food. He probably didn't even realize he was talking out loud.
*****
Yue awakened, finally, not because of any particular sound or because
of any quality of the light, but instead because of a vague emotional
certainty that he was no longer cold, for the first time in hours. At
first, he felt certain that he was being held, enfolded in the arms
and mind of one who was so much a part of him that he ached when he
wasn't there. But when he rolled over, stretching out an arm along
the top of the bed, and his questing fingers met nothing but soft
blanket�he realized that perhaps that had been the dream.
For a brief instant, his heart knew what it was to experience the
human emotion of panic without good reason. But in the next instant,
as he was sitting up, clutching at the blankets and staring wide-eyed
across the room towards the fireplace and the armchair set before it,
his heart calmed again, easily sedated by the gentle caress of Clow's
eyes against his.
"Yue," Clow murmured, and Yue watched as Clow rose slowly from his
chair. It surprised Yue to see no book slip from Clow's hand to the
table by the chair's side. It was unusual that Clow would sit before
a fire, these days, without a book in hand.
"How do you feel?" Clow's voice was exceptionally soft: this was the
tone he reserved for those days when his servant Yue behaved more
like a glass sculpture, fragile and easily lost, than as a powerful
guardian possessing more magic in one instant within the shimmering
silver depths of his eyes than most magic users managed to achieve
over a lifetime, purchased at the price of their souls.
Abruptly---Yue experienced most emotions as a sudden burst of
clarity, a brief glimpse of something understandable among a complex
of mirrored fragments---Yue felt ashamed, and as he remembered his
own tears, he placed his hand against a cheek burning under a pale
pink blush. He wanted to say he was sorry, to apologize for being
stupid�but when he looked up, Clow was standing by the side of the
bed, dressed only in casual evening robes and smiling behind his
pince-nez, and suddenly, Yue felt that it was shameful that he should
feel shame.
"Are you all right?" Clow asked again, and as was his usual practice
when Yue was confused, he had fallen back to the tongue Yue had first
learned upon his creation. The rounded sounds of the English
syllables sounded strange after so long hearing him speaking the
smooth vowels of Japanese. It had been so long, then, since Yue had
fallen so far, that he had forgotten the sound of Clow's sympathy.
Yue swallowed, looking down at his hands. His throat seemed suddenly
very dry, parched like the desert the former green of the garden
would be, when the snow was burned away. So much death, just outside
the window�Yue swallowed again.
"Master, I�"
"Please, Yue," Clow said, with a quiet sigh, and Yue glanced up just
in time to watch him take off his pince-nez and pinch his nose
wearily between thumb and finger. "Not tonight."
Yue hushed all further attempts at commentary instantly, his eyes
returning to his lap, where he rested his hands. They looked pale and
useless in the firelight, especially in the shadowed places where his
blood had created miniature blots of misery across his moonlit skin.
He glanced up again, unable to help his curiosity, when he felt the
bed dip slightly, and he fought not to jump when Clow's hand closed
lightly over his, clasped tightly now against his stomach. He looked
up towards Clow's face, just as Clow blinked in surprise, jaw going
slack.
"Yue, why are you afraid?" he whispered, eyebrows raised, deep brown
eyes falling into darkness as he leaned into the shadows to look
closer at Yue's face.
"I�I fear I have committed an inanity, Master," Yue said falteringly,
eyelids dropping closed, unable to face Clow's reaction to his words.
His eyes snapped open again, face going pale with shock, when he
heard the smooth, low sound of Clow's chuckle. He was surprised to
find the same warmth reflected in Clow's face, to see that Clow's
eyes were closed now as he smiled, which he only tended to do when he
was utterly delighted. Of course, delight came easily to Clow Read,
as did all other emotions of caliber.
"Yue," Clow said softly, and Yue felt a shiver run down his spine, as
it so often did, at the sound of his name spoken so reverently upon
his creator's tongue. There was something about the way Clow said his
name, his tongue caressing the syllables lightly, that felt so
different from the way anyone else might address him. To others, it
may have just been a word, a Chinese word, the name of a celestial
object borrowed to label a creature born of the object's magic. But
at times like this---firelight flickering against his pale skin, odd
shadows dancing lightly over the pastels of his robes---the way Clow
said his name was sweeter than anything he could have imagined.
"Yue, there is no inanity in your sorrow," Clow said, with patience
and with humor, his hand stroking lightly along Yue's hair,
fingertips dancing across his cheek, tracing one pale eyelid when
Yue's eyes slid shut. Yue let out a breath against Clow's thumb when
it came to rest against Yue's lower lip, and Clow let out another
sigh that seemed oddly mingled with a laugh. "Nor in your happiness.
If it were summer, I would buy you vanilla ice cream and keep it
secret from Cerberus, and you would forget your roses and smile
again."
Just as abruptly as he had felt shamed, Yue felt extremely
embarrassed.
"Exactly," Yue said, sighing as he closed his eyes and leaned back,
and he found himself leaning against Clow's chest. In that instant,
when his gaze had turned away, Clow had shifted position and now sat
behind him, hands linked gently over Yue's stomach, arms securely
around his waist. Yue was wingless---either he or Clow must have
folded them within before he had gone to sleep, Yue mused. He pressed
his head back against Clow's shoulder, inhaling the understated scent
of Clow: beeswax candles, musty tomes, chocolate oranges and sakura
flowers.
"My emotions�I wish I could control them," Yue said quietly, a frown
marring the pale skin of his forehead. "One moment I feel so
embittered, and the next I am happy again, enchanted by some bauble
you've given me. Why can't I understand�?"
"You may, someday," Clow murmured against his hair. Yue shivered
again at the feeling of Clow pressed against him, Clow's hands
stroking his abdomen, and at the way Clow breathed against him. He
wondered what he smelled like, to Clow. Did he smell like flowers and
chocolate and spice? Or did he smell of nothingness? If he wanted to,
he could press close enough to see, to know what Clow's mind felt
when he nuzzled his nose to Yue's skin�but not now. Yue decided to be
content, for the moment, with wondering.
"Then again, you may not," Clow added, and Yue felt his smile. "I
know I never have. Yue, one moment I'm bewitched by a butterfly I see
alighting on the window ledge, and the next, I'm near tears at the
thought that that creature's life is nearly over. You and I are
naturally alike in that�these small things affect us. It can't be
helped. I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for," Yue whispered, and then he sat
up, Clow's hands falling away as Yue turned around and knelt between
Clow's raised knees.
"Clow," Yue breathed, placing his hands on Clow's chest as he leaned
forward, his eyes seeking Clow's, meeting and holding them. "You
didn't answer my question, earlier. Will you, too, die?"
Clow smiled, reaching up an elegant hand to trace gentle fingertips
back through Yue's hair, stroking his temple.
"Yes," Clow answered, softly, the low pitch of his voice resonating
so deeply in Yue that he felt himself shivering again, deep in places
that even he couldn't bear to touch. "But there will still be vanilla
ice cream, Yue."
Yue frowned at his flippant tone, his fatuous words.
"Clow, be serious, please," he said, though his tone conveyed more of
a command than a request, as usual.
"Chocolate?" Clow asked, and when annoyance flashed across Yue's
eyes, he laughed, eyes falling closed, and leaned back against the
headboard. He took a moment to catch his breath before he opened his
eyes again, taking in the pale, confused face just inches from his
own.
"Yue," he repeated, in that same slow, measured way that made tiny
fingers of sensation dance up Yue's spine. Clow leaned forward and
took Yue's face in his hands, and leaned a bit closer to place a
soft, almost trivial kiss against the tip of Yue's nose. "Yue�yes, I
will die, one day. And so will you. Death is important, as important
as life, and we should be no more afraid to die than we are to live."
"But I am afraid to live!" Yue protested, hand drawing into a fist
against Clow's chest. "I'm afraid to live without you!"
Clow opened his eyes to regard the creature before him, who suddenly
appeared nothing more than a petulant child, lower lip jutting out,
eyes flashing with irritation and stubborn insistence.
"Yue," he said patiently, hand clasping around Yue's fist, patient
touches slowly drawing the tense digits apart. He intertwined his
hands with Yue's and held them between their bodies, moving them
lightly in the air, a soft dance against the shadows thrown by the
firelight. "You will live on without me. I know you don't believe so
now, but you won't be afraid."
Yue opened his mouth to protest, but Clow touched a finger, still
clasped with Yue's, against Yue's lower lip again, and the guardian
silenced, his breath leaving him in a whoosh.
"Which would you rather, Yue�? To dwell on that which is to come,
that which cannot be changed�or to think instead of what is now, what
is *this moment*?" Clow tilted his head slightly, smiling again from
behind closed eyes. "You aren't the type to dwell, Yue. Like me, your
thoughts are quicksilver, and you're quick to change emotions. Tell
me truthfully�are you still miserable?"
Yue still gave the appearance of pouting, but his eyes were cast
downwards, unable to meet Clow's.
"No," he admitted reluctantly. "I don't know what I feel, Clow.
Except�that I love you. I love you, I couldn't ever love anyone else,
and I'm afraid that�"
His voice hitched, and died away, his eyes falling closed.
"In that, Yue�you and I are also the same," Clow murmured, his
forehead touching Yue's, closing the distance between them. His hands
were gentle as he gathered Yue to his chest, settling the slender
guardian in the space between his legs, enclosing him in warmth.
"When you say that, does it mean that you love me, or that like me,
you don't truly know what you feel?" Yue questioned, opening his eyes
but staring resolutely at the fabric of Clow's robe, clenched gently
between his fingers.
"It means, Yue�" Clow stopped, considering his answer carefully, his
hands soothing through Yue's hair both because it helped him to think
and because it brought Yue comfort. Yue shifted himself slightly
until he was lying against Clow's chest again, eyes turned upwards to
watch the expression on Clow's face, the emotions that moved along
behind closed eyelids as Clow turned the question over in his mind.
"It means that you are more than the being I created," Clow said
finally, softly, keeping his eyes closed as he spoke. "You feel
things on your own�you have gone beyond what I gave you the
capability for. I truly believe that, and so I believe that you love
me for myself, and not because I am your creator. And because of
that, I always love you with the strength of my own feelings, far
beyond that which a master would feel for a servant, which you are
*not*, Yue, and I hate it when you behave as though you are."
Yue smiled slightly, despite himself, to hear this. Clow was rarely a
man of many words, preferring to dwell in the silence of his own
thoughts, and the comfortable connection he shared with his two
guardians.
"I do love you," Clow murmured, opening his eyes and smiling down at
Yue, a rare, sunburst dazzling smile that made Yue's heart pound more
deeply than it had before, when he had thought of how he would lose
Clow, someday. He realized, for an instant, that Clow might have been
right---that this feeling was deeper and more precious than the fear--
-but then it was gone, lost to the sensation of Clow's lips against
his neck, hands stroking his arms, his back, his stomach, forehead,
lips and neck, so much motion and so soft. Yue faltered, fell
forward, and suddenly he was sprawled across Clow, hands in Clow's
hair as Clow leaned up into him, hands playing with the fastenings of
his robes as his lips grazed a blaze of heat over Yue's larynx.
"Mmmmm�this is better than ice cream," Yue moaned against Clow's
shoulder, and he was pleased by the laughter that rippled through
him, a gift of how closely Clow was pressed up against him, as Clow
chuckled against his neck.
"I'll buy you some anyway, come summer," Clow promised, and Yue
moaned again as he was gently guided over onto his back, and Clow was
pressing against him, hands roaming over him, tangled webs of robes
draping off to one side or another, left there in impatience as Yue
reached up, trying to touch everything at once. His fingertips traced
all the important places, every place that meant something to him, in
memory�the place where Clow would sigh, just so�the place that made
him cry, arch his neck�the place that made him whisper Yue's name,
opening his eyes to stare at Yue with such intensity that Yue always
felt he would burn�
"Don't tell Cerberus�about the ice cream," Yue pleaded, leaning up
along with Clow as Clow leaned back to remove the rest of his own
clothing. He laughed, one hand dropping to curve against the small of
Yue's back, holding him steady as he straddled Clow's lap.
"I think he already knows," Clow confessed, grinning as Yue groaned
into his neck, not because of embarrassment, but because Clow was
holding Yue's hips and grinding up against him, and suddenly Yue felt
filled to the brim with the heat of this, as though any moment pale
skin could burst open and the room would fall prey to the light of an
angel. Then Clow pressed Yue back into the bed, covering his body
with his own, and Yue caught his breath; he knew he wouldn't have to
wait much longer.
"Yue�" Clow said, again and again�he treasured the word as he
treasured Yue, reverence in the touch of his fingertips, the brush of
his lips, along Yue's collarbone, his biceps, a single slender wrist,
the perfect spread of his ribs, the smooth curve of a hip, and beyond�
Yue shouted wordlessly, bucking upwards helplessly, his hands against
Clow's head as Clow drank him in, hands against Yue's legs, stroking
his thighs. So careful, so caring�Clow always treated him as though
every inch of his body was sacred, precious to him in a way that was
so much more than a creator would feel for his creation. In these
moments, Yue dared to believe him, to believe that he was more than
he had been made to be. Surely these feelings were his own,
regardless of their origin. This was private, and precious to him as
well.
Yue cried out again helplessly as he was released from the molten
heat of Clow's mouth, sinking back against the bed even as Clow
pressed into him, lips questing along the curve of shoulder and neck,
hands stroking again over chest and stomach, fingertip teasingly
circling a small puckered navel.
"Clow, don't, I�" Yue began, intending to beg, to ask not to have to
wait, but suddenly his thighs were clasped in Clow's hands and his
knees were drawn up towards his shoulders. He moved automatically,
wrapping his arms around Clow's waist until Clow was pressed against
him, so close, and it ached so badly to be so close�
"Clow!" Yue whispered desperately when Clow took hold of his hips and
pushed, sliding slickly inside, moving easily within the magical
liquid warmth he'd created with the barest whisper of a familiar
word. "Clow�"
"Don't speak, Yue�" Clow whispered, and then he smiled, brown eyes
gentle as they met Yue's, watching cold silver melt into lavender
softness. "Or do�do as you wish, but don't hold back."
"You know I can't," Yue murmured, clasping his hands back against the
blankets, lifting himself, trying to press closer. They were chest to
chest, Yue's face buried into the crook of Clow's shoulder as Clow's
hands stroked Yue's legs, then downwards to the place they were
joined. Clow's hips rocked smoothly back and forwards, until Yue was
gasping with every breath, shifting himself upwards in time with
Clow's movements, meeting him stroke for stroke.
"Yue�" Clow whispered, his eyes unnaturally bright now, watching
Yue's face. The angel had his eyes closed, brow furrowed as he
struggled towards what he knew waited for him. His hand was clasping
Clow's neck so tightly his nails would be sure to leave tiny crescent-
moon shaped marks. He was radiant like this, moonlight beneath pale
skin, threatening to break loose and bathe all in its wake in
luminescence. Clow reached for that light, his hand in Yue's hair,
the other pressed to the bed now as he moved forwards, desperation in
every movement, the need to reach some conclusion�
"Ah�Clow�Clow!" Yue burst out again, breath exploding against Clow's
ear as he arched up beneath Clow, eyes opening in the last moment to
watch as Clow too fell away, groaning deeply and pressing Yue into
the bed. Their eyes met, in the brief moment of transition between
white hot pleasure-pain and milky, mellow sensation, and Clow was
smiling, and Yue found himself doing the same, grinning helplessly as
Clow tangled his fingers in Yue's hair and whispered his name over
and over into his ear, like the precious words of a lover.
Yue was about to speak when he was silenced by the touch of Clow's
mouth over his, stealing away breath and thought. Time passed and
held still beneath the light of the sliver of moon bleeding through
the windowpane, and the rich deep red of firelight, bronzing their
skin. Clow kissed him the way he touched him, like a man looking upon
the most important feeling in his life, and Yue's hands clasped Clow
as though he was afraid he would go. Perhaps it was because of this,
or perhaps something else�but Yue tasted salt briefly on his tongue,
and he knew it wasn't his�his eyes were dry.
He leaned back reluctantly and opened his eyes, staring at the
silvery tears streaked across Clow's face, already drying.
"Clow�" he began, brow furrowing slightly.
"Never mind," Clow said softly, grinning slightly as he leaned
forward to nuzzle gently into his lover's cheek. Lover, not servant;
beloved, beyond creation. "You're so beautiful, Yue. So beautiful,
here, like this�to me."
Yue nodded slightly, closing his eyes again and simply enjoying the
overflowing sensation of warmth, Clow resting gently over him, weight
pressing him into the bed reminding him of constancy.
"As you are to me, Clow," he said, and he meant it, and for a moment
he thought he recognized the taste of Clow's tears.
*****
This time, when Yuki woke, he was crying, and Touya was already
awake, holding him and stroking a hand soothingly back through his
hair. Touya's whispered words made it clear that he understood
without needing to ask: he knew that Yuki's tears weren't of sadness,
but instead the kind of tears someone like Yuki tended to shed upon
looking at something extraordinarily beautiful. He was easily
affected like that, and Touya, in his usual fashion, had remarkable
patience.
Some time later, Yuki cradled Touya in his arms, against his chest,
loving the warm weight of his lover on top of him, between his legs.
They waited until they started to breathe again, sweat cooling,
before Touya spoke to ask him if he had dreamed his own dream, or
another's.
Yuki told him it hadn't been a dream, but instead a memory, and that
it wasn't his, but something that Yue had no qualm in sharing. Touya
said nothing more, but without needing to ask, Yuki knew that he was
aware of the whole thing�about Clow Read, and about Yue, and that
Clow had loved Yue with all his heart, and Yue had given away his own
heart on the day that Clow died.
<Odd�> Yue murmured, and Yuki felt his own hand trailing up his
chest, coming to rest over the very centre, feeling a warm pulse
there that made him smile. <I never thought to hear it beat again�I
knew it was there, but I never paid attention. Why didn't I listen?>
Touya asked him if it hurt, and Yuki knew he didn't mean the sex.
Hai, he told him, it did hurt�but only in the best possible way.
<Maybe you didn't want it to, Yue. Maybe you didn't allow it to until
now. What is it that happened, to make you want this again, now?>
To that Yue was silent, but he didn't seem angry, or even frightened.
He was just silent, and in the comfort of that simple grace, Yuki
fell asleep, cradled in his lover's arms.
*****
END PART FIVE