Date Finished: October 29th, 2003 (my 21st birthday! ;P)
Classification: Romance, Angst
Pairing: Eriol/Yue, Clow/Yue, Touya/Yukito, mild hints of Touya/Yue
Rating: NC-17
Note: Sequel to `Love Is�', but can be read independently.
Glass
By Elsewhere
<[email protected]>
Disclaimer: The characters and story of Card Captor Sakura are not
mine. Oops. ;P
The lyrics quoted are from `Glass' by Kawamura Ryuichi, translated
into English by Mina-P (http://www.senshigakuen.com). I intend no
infringement to either party; I'm just quoting `em.
Distribution: If you want this story for any page other than the ones
I've sent it to, please ask me first, so I know where it goes.
Spoilers: I may make reference to any of a number of events in the
anime TV series and the manga. These references may often mix the
manga and anime versions of said events.
Note: Just in case anyone had any doubt, Eriol is quite a lot older
during the time of this story than he was in the manga/anime. ;P
Note on Spelling/Romanization: All names will be spelled as they were
romanized in the original Japanese version of the Card Captor Sakura
manga (in the character information sections). In other words, `Clow
Read' rather than `Clow Reed', `Li Syaoran' rather than `Li Shaoran'
or any other spelling of his name you may have seen, etc. If you
don't like the way I (and CLAMP) spell the names, you're free to stop
reading at this point.
Legend:
Emphasis is shown with * *
Thoughts are shown with / /
Telepathic communication is shown with < >
Thanx as ever to my beta reader Adara-chan, without whom my stories
wouldn't see the light of day. ;P Also thanx to Loren who checked my
Japanese.
Summary: Years have passed since Yue last had any contact with the
present incarnation of his former master, but when Eriol unexpectedly
arrives to attend Syaoran and Sakura's wedding, Yue is forced to face
some of his memories�and Eriol is forced to make a choice.
Part One:
Glossary:
aishiteru - I love you
anata - you
arigatou - thank you
arigatou gozaimasu - thank you (formal)
demo - but
e? - huh?
gomen - sorry
gomen nasai - I'm so sorry; in this case, it means something more
along the lines of a very polite `excuse me'
hai - yes; okay
ikuzo - let's go
iya - no
kaijuu - monster---Touya's affectionate nickname for Sakura
kaijuu janai - I'm not a monster
konnichiwa - hello
na - hey
nan demo nai na - it's nothing
nani? - what?
oi - hey
onii - older brother
otou - father
sensei - teacher
shitsurei - excuse me
To-ya - an alternate romanization and pronunciation of Touya's name---
Yuki's affectionate nickname for Touya
wakatta - I know; I understand
Yuki-usagi - snow rabbit---Kero's affectionate nickname for Yuki
*****
If I could reach my feelings out
To you
I wish you would knock on the door to my heart
Like it's open for you
*****
"Oi, Sakura�are you almost ready?"
It was the fifth time he'd asked, and the fifth time he hadn't been
answered. Touya glanced at his watch yet again and grimaced. Time was
wearing on, and if Sakura didn't hurry and finish getting ready, she
was going to be late�and being late for one's own wedding wouldn't be
quite as easy to laugh off as nearly being late for school.
But then, back then, Sakura always had managed to make it to school
on time, despite a tendency to wake up late and dawdle on the way,
lingering to talk to Yuki. Touya sincerely hoped that, with the same
distraction facing her now, Sakura would still manage to be as
prompt, in the end, as she had been as a child.
"Oi, Sa�" he began again, only to trail off into a stunned silence as
he stared up the stairs at a sight he'd never truly thought he'd see.
Sakura was slowly making her way down the stairs, her hand tightly
clasping Yuki's arm as he guided her. She seemed slightly dazed, and
Touya couldn't blame her; he too fell into a stupor the instant he
saw her.
Sakura had always looked gorgeous in traditional clothing, but this
time, their father's taste for beautiful clothes had outdone itself.
The kimono itself wasn't too different from others she'd worn in the
past, its rich, cherry blossom color perfectly matching both Sakura's
name and the lovely blush that spread across her cheeks when she
noticed the way Touya was staring. However, the intricate patterns
woven in silver through the soft pink fabric provided a sense of the
exotic that the garment might otherwise have lost, and they also
matched perfectly the set of antique silver hair clasps---an early
wedding present from Otou-san---holding in place the precise network
of curls piled on top of Sakura's head.
"Sakura-san, it's almost time to go!" Fujitaka called just as he
rounded the corner into the hallway and looked up. Just as Touya had
been, for a moment Fujitaka was frozen, entirely taken aback by the
sight that greeted him. "Oh�Sakura-san�a�anata�"
Fujitaka's usual eloquence escaped him as he brought up a hand to
cover his mouth, trying to blink back his tears.
Sakura smiled warmly as she completed the last few steps and let go
of Yuki's arm. Behind her, Tomoyo walked the rest of the way down the
stairs, revealing herself to be in a kimono colored in soft peach
tones, a beautiful contrast to Sakura's ensemble.
"Arigatou, otou-san," Sakura said softly, leaning up to give her
still-speechless father a quick hug before she turned to Touya, a
slight smile turning up the corners of her mouth as she awaited his
verdict.
"Sakura�you look�beautiful," Touya said finally, his breathless tone
revealing his shock.
Sakura grinned, and started to turn towards Yuki, but stopped when
she realized Touya wasn't finished.
"But�you're still a kaijuu," Touya said seriously, and luckily for
him, Sakura was too worried about somehow harming her dress to kick
him.
"Onii-chan!!" she snapped, but more playfully than she once would
have. She gave him a gentle shove. "Kaijuu janai!"
"To-ya," Yuki said, in his gentlest, most teasing tone. Touya turned
to glance at him, lifting an eyebrow. "Today, of all days, try to
keep your sister complex under control."
"Nani�!?" Touya sputtered, smiling as Tomoyo and Sakura giggled
girlishly and excused themselves, slipping past the three men and
making their way towards the door.
"Didn't you say it's time to go, otou-san?" Sakura called, and
Fujitaka finally composed himself enough to say that yes, it was time
they were going.
Touya remained in the hallway, watching as his sister made her way
out of the house. The smile slowly faded from his face, replaced with
a look of melancholic resignation.
"To-ya?" Yuki murmured, lightly touching Touya's arm.
Touya snapped out of his trance at the sound of Yuki's voice, turning
to glance down, his smile slowly returning as he met Yuki's soft
amber eyes.
"Ikuzo," Touya said, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkling as
he gestured towards the door. Yuki continued to stare at him for a
moment before they heard an irate, feminine shout from outside
demanding that they hurry up, and the spell was broken. Both of them
chuckled and started for the door, and it wasn't until they reached
it that Yuki reached out to tug lightly on Touya's sleeve, stopping
him in place. Touya turned back to ask what was wrong, but the words
died in his throat when he saw the serious look in Yuki's eyes.
"To-ya�this doesn't mean that anything has to change," Yuki said
softly, smiling slightly when he saw Touya's look of confusion. "You
can still protect Sakura, and Yue and I will as well. If there is a
difference�it's that from this day on, you can rest assured that he
will protect her as well, as best as he can."
Touya paused for only a moment before he offered an equally gentle
smile and leaned down slightly, brushing his lips briefly against
Yuki's before he pulled back.
"Arigatou," he whispered, and then he turned away, tugging Yuki along
as he made his way to the car.
*****
By the time they reached the park, a crowd had gathered, all of them
dressed formally, some of them in traditional Japanese clothing and
some of them in traditional Chinese wear. Amongst the sea of colorful
kimono and robes, it took some time for Sakura to finally spot her
groom, and when she did, it was only because she could distinctly
hear the sound of Li Meiling's voice yelling above the murmurs of the
crowd. Instinctively, her eyes followed the sound, and she couldn't
help the bright smile that lit her face when she spied her intended,
standing with a look somewhere between resignation and a grimace on
his face as his cousin shouted directly in his ear.
As though he sensed the touch of her eyes, the clouded look in his
eyes abruptly focused, and his gaze swept the crowd until he saw her,
standing with her family on the other side of the mass of people
between them. Sakura's smile instantly became sweeter, more of the
smile that she tended to save for private interaction, and in
response, his light scowl melted away into a similar smile. She felt
her heart stop in her chest as she watched his lips move in a
familiar pattern, a silent message for her, and her alone:
"Aishiteru."
*****
Touya watched as his sister disappeared into the mob of people,
holding Tomoyo's hand, and then his eyes lifted again, moving across
to the groom, standing at the other end of the park, waiting.
"I have to admit," Touya said begrudgingly as his eyes took in the
younger man's attire, "the brat certainly looks prepared for the
occasion."
"Syaoran-kun," Yuki replied, in a vaguely reprimanding tone that
implied that Touya should at some point stop calling
Li `brat', "would not have asked Sakura-chan to marry him if he
weren't entirely sure. He's like you, that way�"
Touya glanced at Yuki sharply, a little perturbed at being compared
to Li Syaoran, who had for many years been just about his least
favorite person in the universe.
"�neither of you would commit yourselves to another person without
being completely sure of the feelings of your own hearts," Yuki
finished, smiling softly, his eyes shining with a kind of private joy
that Touya knew was reserved for him alone.
"You know that I'm sure," Touya said quietly, taking a step towards
Yuki and grinning fondly when Yuki ducked his head to hide his blush.
"And so is he," Yuki said, glancing up at Touya over the rim of his
glasses. "As sure as you are. He'll take good care of her, To-ya."
Touya was silent for a moment, his eyes again seeking through the
crowd until he spotted Syaoran standing, now with his back to the
gathering, watching the approach of another small group of guests.
"Wakatta," he said finally, the barest whisper of an acknowledgment,
but it was enough to make Yuki smile.
Several moments passed as they waited, each of them glancing at the
crowd around them, seeing familiar faces and smiling and nodding
whenever someone recognized them in return.
"And Yue?" Touya asked, turning to glance at Yuki. "How does he feel
about this?"
It wasn't the first time Touya had asked the question. He knew the
answer well enough, but he asked now out of a lingering nervousness,
a nervousness that Sakura's guardian, someone whom Touya trusted far
more implicitly than he could bring himself to trust Sakura's fiance,
could allay.
For a moment, Yuki's eyes glazed over slightly, and Touya recognized
this as meaning that Yuki was conducting a silent conversation within
his own mind.
"Yue says�he would trust Li Syaoran to guard Sakura�that he will be
just as competent as her partner and guardian as Yue and Cerberus
themselves," Yuki said, his eyes clearing as he smiled slightly.
"Speaking of which, where is the little stuffed animal?" Touya asked,
deliberately choosing his words to cause a reaction.
"Oi, watch your mouth, boyo," came a familiar high-pitched voice,
seemingly coming directly from the bag Yuki held in his left
hand. "I'm older than you and I still have a few tricks up my sleeve."
"Shh, Kero-san, you'll be heard," Yuki whispered, and the voice in
the bag grumbled and fell silent.
"Na, Yuki, let's go try to find a seat over�"
Touya's voice trailed off when he turned back and noticed the way
Yuki had suddenly stiffened, his eyes flickering back and forth
between different sections of the crowd.
"Yuki�?"
"Hm�? Oh, To-ya," Yuki replied, his eyes coming to rest on Touya's
face. "Ah�nan demo nai na. I thought I saw someone I knew."
"You may have," came the muffled voice from the bag again. "I felt it
too."
Yuki glanced towards the bag.
"Mm�demo�"
"Ignore it for now, Yuki-usagi," Kero's voice replied, sounding
characteristically cheerful. "It's not likely to be hostile."
"Hai," Yuki answered, after waiting to hear Yue breathe his own
acquiescence to Kero's words. But for the first time that day, Yuki
felt Yue's previous comfort dissolving into tension, and Yuki knew it
had nothing to do with Sakura or her choice of groom.
*****
The wedding was as beautiful---perhaps more so---as anyone would have
hoped, especially considering the intense planning that had gone into
it, mainly orchestrated by Tomoyo and Meiling. When those two got
together, the results tended to be both creative and breathtaking,
and with the added support of the Li family, complete with the crowd
of Syaoran's sisters and the family matriarch, Syaoran's mother, the
wedding had become something that transcended everyone's
expectations. Afterwards, the guests were invited to stay and speak
to the bride and groom, who were slowly making the rounds, stopping
to speak to both family and friends.
Yuki shuffled his feet slightly, delighted by the feel of the thick
carpet of sakura petals beneath his feet parting around his shoes as
he moved. Next to him, Touya stood somewhat stiffly, obviously trying
to look like the intimidating older brother, and Yuki could only
smile and think of what rich material he would have with which to
tease Touya later.
He stiffened slightly again, and felt Touya's eyes fly to him
instantly, even as Yuki's own eyes lifted, seeking out the source of
the vague pulse of familiar power he had felt�not familiar to him,
but familiar to the one who resided within him.
Yuki swiveled his head and would have kept turning, looking for
someone familiar, except that when he caught a flash out of the
corner of his eye of a pair of glasses glinting in the sun, Yue
abruptly caught his breath. Yuki stopped instantly, turning back, but
now he couldn't see anything resembling glasses�only a sea of
unfamiliar people waiting to talk to Sakura and Syaoran, who stood
only a few feet from where Yuki and Touya lingered under one of the
sakura trees.
"There," Kero murmured discreetly from where he was tucked under
Yuki's arm, doing his standard impression of a stuffed toy, hoping
not to draw anyone's attention to the fact that he was genuinely
alive.
Instinctively, Yuki turned his head, following not his own impulse,
but rather Yue's. Again he felt Yue tense as Yuki's eyes came to rest
on a young man slowly making his way towards Sakura and Syaoran.
Despite the fact that it had been a number of years since he had had
any contact with the boy, Yuki---and Yue---recognized Hiiragizawa
Eriol instantly, not only because of the familiar sensation of
magical energy that he emitted which grew more and more powerful the
closer he came to the two magical guardians by Sakura's side, but
also because of the fact that he had actually changed very little in
all of those years.
The last time Yuki had encountered Eriol, the magician had been a boy
of sixteen, returned to Japan for a year to tutor Sakura extensively
in the ways of magic. He had only waited so long in the hopes of
allowing her to mature her skills on her own, and he had not been
disappointed. Sakura was, as ever, a quick and ingenuous learner, and
she hadn't spent the years between in vain�ever since she had managed
to collect and transform all of the Clow Cards into Sakura Cards, she
had moved her magical pursuits onto the more practical task of
learning, from Kero and Yue, all that they could possibly teach her
of the ways of a magician.
After that year had passed, Eriol had left again, back to England,
just as abruptly as he had gone before. He was not the sort of person
to linger in a place if he was no longer required; he had a rigid
sense of his own tasks and duties, and when he was or wasn't needed.
That was part of the reason that Yue---and, almost by default, Yuki---
was so surprised by Eriol's appearance here, at Sakura's wedding.
The other part of the reason was that, although Eriol was still
clearly recognizable as the charming teenager he had been nearly five
years before, he had also unmistakably matured into a man. Where at
sixteen his slender shape had given him the appearance of gawkiness,
it now only leant him a physical air of the natural grace he had
always possessed. He moved, if possible, with greater confidence and
poise than he once had, although he had always appeared and acted
more mature than his physical age would have suggested. His glasses,
once simple and functional, had been exchanged for a more chic,
modern pair that both clashed with and accented the messy shock of
black hair that spilled across his forehead. Unlike the rest of his
look, this hairstyle was a return to the one he had used in his
youth; as a teenager, he had briefly kept his hair long and usually
in a messy ponytail, just like his ancestor, Clow Read, once had.
Yuki and Yue's contemplation of the familiar boy-turned-man was cut
off abruptly when Eriol finally broke through the crowd and stopped
in front of Sakura and Syaoran. The moment Sakura saw him, she broke
out in a huge grin, and even from their short distance, Touya and
Yuki could both clearly hear her pleased cry of, "Eriol-kun!",
followed by Syaoran's calmer, "Hiiragizawa."
"Sakura-san; Li-kun," Eriol answered, closing his eyes and offering
them his familiar bright, gentle smile as he bowed respectfully
towards each of them. Yuki noticed the way Eriol's eyes paused
briefly on Syaoran, and he felt some part of him echo another
familiarity. He wondered whether, if things had been different,
perhaps Syaoran and Eriol might have�
He was distracted from his thoughts again by the sound of Eriol's
voice.
"Konnichiwa. I hope I'm not intruding."
"Iya, Eriol-kun�you could never intrude," Sakura said, delight making
her voice reminiscent of her old, childish chirp. "But we had no idea
you were coming."
"I wished to surprise you, and this time I hoped the surprise would
only be pleasant," Eriol said with a softer smile, and then he
turned, gesturing towards someone in the crowd. Sakura once again
broke out in a wide grin as she watched Mizuki Kaho step out from the
crowd and make her way to Eriol's side.
"Kaho-sensei!" Sakura exclaimed.
Beside him, Yuki felt Touya stiffen slightly, but he knew it was
little more than a reflex at this point. Touya had resolved his
feelings towards Kaho many years since.
"Not anymore, Sakura-san," Kaho answered with a bright smile, copying
Eriol's previous actions as she bowed to both bride and groom. "It's
been a long time since I was your teacher, but I'm glad you remember
me."
"I could never forget you, Kaho-san," Sakura answered warmly.
Yuki had the impression that the sentiment was echoed by the man
standing beside him, despite the fact that Touya remained silent.
"Gomen nasai," Eriol said, during the next break in conversation. His
eyes were bright with something that almost seemed like mischief, and
Sakura responded to this sentiment with a similar grin. "If I may be
excused�"
"Of course," Sakura agreed, nodding, and her eyes followed him as he
bowed once more and made his way slowly towards where Touya and Yuki
stood. Yuki was surprised to find his eyes carefully watching Eriol's
every move, lingering on the smooth motion of a slender, artistic
hand as it reached up to brush a sakura blossom from where it had
landed on Eriol's shoulder. At the last instant, the hand seemed to
change its mind, and instead clasped the blossom in a gentle grip.
Yuki's eyes moved slowly from this motion to Eriol's face, and he was
surprised to find that he was being watched in return. Despite
himself, Yuki caught his breath, surprised by the sensation of
butterflies in his stomach as his eyes met Eriol's warm gaze, a
stormy combination of blue and grey that had always mystified Yuki.
"Konnichiwa," Eriol said, his pleasant voice resonating deeply as he
bowed respectfully, first before Touya, and then before
Yuki. "Kinomoto-san�Tsukishiro-san�Yue �Cerberus. It has been many
years, and I must confess, I'm pleased to see all of you."
It was extremely rare that anyone should address Yuki and Yue
separately, mainly because there were very few who knew of Yue's
existence, but also because those who did know the truth tended only
to speak to whichever one of them was currently in possession of the
body they shared. Eriol, however, had always behaved with equal
respect to both Yue and Yukito at the same time, as though he
believed that he might slight one by failing to mention the other.
Yuki smiled warmly and bowed his head, but his eyes flitted back
upwards in surprise when he saw Eriol's hand lift, the cherry blossom
offered in his open palm.
"If I may, I would like to speak to Yue-san later, at his, and your
own, convenience, Tsukishiro-san," Eriol said politely, the look in
his eyes as unreadable as usual as Yuki hesitantly reached out to
take the flower, his fingertips feeling a hesitance not entirely his
own. He could feel Touya's eyes on him, curious, but he wouldn't have
been able to explain the conflicting feelings that flickered through
him even if he had tried.
"Certainly," Yuki breathed, meeting Eriol's eyes with the same
hesitance he had felt about the flower. To his surprise, this time
when their gazes met, a sensation like electricity shifted through
his mind and his body, awakening senses within him that he himself
didn't truly know how to use. He knew that Yue was responding
instinctively to the magic of his former master, the familiar energy
signature that now belonged to Eriol and to one other, although that
other had never seemed quite as compelling---mainly because of his
lack of understanding of his own magic---as this boy.
"Arigatou gozaimasu," Eriol said quietly, finally dropping his eyes,
releasing Yuki from the spell. With a last respectful bow, he
politely excused himself and disappeared again into the crowd.
Despite the obvious fact of his curiosity, Touya didn't ask, partly
because he knew that Yuki wouldn't be able to easily offer an
explanation, and partly because he wondered whether it was any of his
business. Yue's feelings towards the modern incarnation of his former
master seemed ambivalent at best, but then, Yue's feelings often
appeared ambivalent and rarely ever were.
"Yuki?" Touya asked after a moment, when Yuki's eyes remained glassed
over.
"Hm�? Oh, To-ya," Yuki said, the haze slipping away from his eyes as
he turned to look up at his lover. "Gomen. I just�"
"Wakatta. You don't have to explain," Touya answered quietly, his
eyes reassuring Yuki, and Yue, that he meant his words.
"Lighten up, Yue," Kero murmured out of the corner of his mouth, and
for some reason, the sun guardian's quiet interjection broke easily
through the tension, and both Yuki and Touya smiled. Within him, Yuki
felt Yue stifle a smile as well. "He won't hurt you anymore."
Yuki thought he understood something of the thought that briefly made
its way into the pattern of his own thoughts, before Yue quickly
repressed it.
<You don't understand, Cerberus�you simply don't understand.>
*****
Yuki waited until most of the guests had left before he made his way
into the shelter of a small copse of trees and bushes, and a moment
later another young man walked out of the sheltered area. He was
unfamiliar to most who remained gathered around Sakura and Syaoran,
and eyes followed him as he slowly made his way across the park, his
exotic appearance making many abandon their sense of politeness,
unable to keep from staring.
"Yue," Touya breathed, when the angelic creature who held everyone so
spellbound finally reached his side. The first thing he noticed, with
some relief, was that Yue's usual most distinctive features---his
huge, pure-white wings---were absent. Obviously, at some point, Yue
had finally come to understand the danger inherent in showing his
more obvious non-human characteristics in public.
Yue's brilliant silver-lavender eyes lifted from where they had
lingered on the ground, avoiding eye contact with others, and easily
met Touya's familiar gaze.
"To-ya," Yue replied evenly, and after a slight hesitation---the
product of several lifetimes' worth of trying to destroy his own joy--
-Yue's mouth curled in a gentle smile, vaguely reminiscent of his
other self.
Without preamble, Touya lifted a hand and gestured beyond the
lingering crowd, towards the playground on the other end of the park.
"I think I saw�"
"Wakatta," Yue said quietly, cutting Touya off, as he so often did.
It wasn't that he deliberately intended to be rude; it was more that
Yue had never cared much for the scruples of humanity, and he hadn't
been created to do so. Because of this, he was perhaps the most
startlingly honest person Touya had ever met, and like everyone else
in Yue's life, Touya had felt the sharpness of Yue's tongue directed
towards himself more than once.
"Shitsurei," Yue murmured, obviously distracted, and Touya only
nodded and watched as Yue continued his slow walk across the park,
ignoring the people that watched him as he disappeared out of sight.
"Yue," a quiet voice whispered, and Touya glanced down to where Kero
was now resting in the crook of his own arm, still playing the
stuffed toy.
"E?"
"Yue needs to learn�" Kero sighed, almost seeming hesitant to
continue. His little black eyes seemed vaguely troubled. "�to
forgive."
Touya didn't answer; the only answer he could think of was a nod of
agreement, and he knew Kero didn't need the confirmation.
*****
END PART ONE