Date Finished: April 20th, 2003
Classification: Romance, Mild Angst, PWP
Keywords: Post-game
Pairing: Zidane/Kuja
Rating: NC-17
Note: Response to the `Building a Better Relationship, Renovating
Your Love' challenge at AdoptAPlotBunny
(http://lists.squidge.org/wws/info/adoptaplotbunny ;
http://www.squidge.org/~peja/behindthescenes/plotbunnies.htm)
Cathartik
By Elsewhere
<[email protected]>
All other information in part one.
Part Two
*****
The time's come again
It's nearing the end
But I feel no shame
Do you feel the same
Because I know I'll be all right
If I make it through tonight
Well I swear I'll try to change
Once again
Try to change
*****
Zidane tried to calm his breathing, tried to regain the composure
that he was sure he'd once possessed.
"I don't know," he said quietly, pulling his hand away from Kuja's
gentle grip. "I guess it seemed like the thing to do just then."
When Kuja continued to stare at him as though he'd never seen him
before, Zidane forced himself to smile and shrug.
"This is usually the point where I kiss the pretty girl," he said
lightly, and then for a moment he panicked when he saw the odd look
that crossed Kuja's eyes. Then Kuja glanced downward and Zidane
blinked in amazement to see the slight smile that curved Kuja's lips.
"Contrary to popular opinion, Zidane," Kuja said evenly, looking up
and quirking an eyebrow, "I am *not* a girl."
"Okay, you got me," Zidane said with a relieved grin. "I was messing
with you."
Kuja's smile widened, and Zidane laughed, then reached up to rub the
back of his neck.
"Boy, this is awkward," Zidane said, trying not to sound as giddy as
he suddenly felt.
"Yes, it is," Kuja agreed softly, his eyes on the ground. He was
still smiling, but his arms were crossed over his chest again.
"I'm sorry, Kuja," Zidane said, smile fading as he tried to be
serious. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have..."
"You trust me," Kuja said quietly, lifting his eyes again, his
piercing lapis gaze fixing Zidane in his place. Zidane squirmed
uncomfortably under the look, his eyes widening in amazement.
"Sure I do," he said, lifting his hands. "What...?"
"How can you trust me?" Kuja asked, brow creasing again. "Not only
have I done a number of things in the past that leave me unworthy of
your trust, but...you hardly know me."
"All that past stuff is just that...in the *past*," Zidane said firmly,
folding his own arms over his chest now, trying to convey his
conviction. "You've changed...I know you well enough to know that. Come
on, Kuja, you don't follow a guy around for nearly a year without
learning a few things about him...I know you well enough to know that
things are different now."
"That still doesn't explain why after only a week of my company, you
consider me worthy of your trust," Kuja said, frown deepening in
obvious confusion.
"It sounds funny when you say it like that," Zidane protested,
finally smirking slightly when Kuja blinked. "Worthy of my trust?
Come on, it doesn't work that way...trust isn't something you think
about `bestowing' or anything like that...at least, it isn't for me. I
trust someone or I don't, and sure, I trust you. I think you've
earned it."
"But, a week..." Kuja began again, but Zidane sliced his hand through
the air, startling him into silence.
"Nuh-uh," Zidane said with a grin. "No arguments. Just accept that
that's how it is."
"I've never been the type to simply accept things," Kuja pointed out,
both eyebrows lifted.
"I know," Zidane said, quirking his own eyebrow in mild
challenge. "That's part of why I get you. You're a lot like me, you
know...you just don't see it yet."
Kuja was silent for a long moment, so long that Zidane began to
wonder what he might have said wrong.
"Is that why you...?" Kuja began, and then he sighed quietly and turned
away, unable to finish the thought.
"What? Why I touched you like that?" Zidane said, trying again to
still the sudden jump of his heart in his chest. "Aw hell, I told you...
I don't know why I did that. But I didn't mean to make you
uncomfortable. Honestly, that's the last thing I wanna do."
"I know," Kuja said, and Zidane almost took a step back when Kuja
lifted his eyes, and Zidane was hit with the full force of the
emotion in Kuja's gaze. He had never looked at Zidane so openly
before, his soul bared entirely for the first time, and by his
choice. "Zidane..."
He lifted his hand hesitantly, and Zidane let out a quick breath as
he reached up both of his own hands and clasped Kuja's between them.
"What about...?" Kuja began, as he took a step closer and breathed
gently onto Zidane's neck.
"What about...? Oh, Dagger?" Zidane said breathlessly, blinking as
though to wake himself up as he pressed a bit closer. He found it
strange, to suddenly feel hunger for the warmth of a fellow human
being---Genome, he corrected himself with a slight wince at the old
mistake---when just less than an hour before he had been so hot he
was sure he could never stand warmth again. "Aw hell, we talked
before all of this...she just wants to be friends."
Kuja sighed, settling back against the wall.
"Can you believe that?" Zidane asked, smiling a bit as he reached up
and brushed Kuja's hair out of his face. "I always fall for the
unavailable ones."
"I am alone," Kuja said quietly, and Zidane smiled at him gently
before stepping closer and wrapping his arms protectively around
Kuja's slender waist.
"Not anymore," he said softly, nuzzling his nose into the bare skin
of Kuja's neck. He felt Kuja stiffen as he brushed his lips along the
sunburned skin of Kuja's throat, listening with delight to the hum of
pleasure that involuntarily rippled underneath his lips. He felt
Kuja's hands hesitantly reach up to touch his arms, and he
smiled. "Hey Kuja?"
"Zidane?" Kuja answered, dropping his chin so he could meet the
younger man's eyes.
Zidane didn't answer; instead, taking the newfound opportunity, his
hands clenching gently into the material of Kuja's shirt to pull him
closer as he kissed him. Kuja's mouth opened to let out a quick,
surprised breath as Zidane's lips brushed over his, then pressed
closer. Zidane's hand stroked back through Kuja's hair, gently taking
hold of the back of his head to deepen the kiss. Kuja groaned
restlessly into Zidane's mouth, his hands tightening their grip on
Zidane's elbows.
"Mm," Zidane murmured, closing his eyes as he pulled back, resting
his head on Kuja's chest. "Kuja?"
"Mmhm?" Kuja answered, unable just then to form words. He was
breathing quickly, chest moving swiftly up and down beneath Zidane's
cheek.
"You sure you want to do this?" Zidane asked him, leaning back and
opening his eyes. Kuja met his gaze easily enough, despite the fact
that his eyes had glazed over slightly. "I don't want you to feel...
coerced or anything."
He said this last awkwardly, placing his hand against Kuja's heart,
reassured by the strong beat he felt under his palm.
"I don't feel coerced," Kuja said quietly, and Zidane sighed as
Kuja's fingers nimbly worked at the tie in his hair, undoing it and
letting the honey-gold strands tumble over his shoulders. "I don't
want you to feel like this is something you have to do, either."
"Uh-uh," Zidane said, grinning as he reached up to nuzzle his nose
along the underside of Kuja's jaw. Kuja sighed, tilting his head back
to give Zidane greater access, and Zidane laughed when he felt Kuja's
tail wrap firmly around his thigh. "There's a big difference
between `have to' and `want to'."
"I should hope so," Kuja said, smirking slightly as his hands rubbed
lightly over Zidane's arms.
"Mm...come on," Zidane said, stepping back and taking hold of Kuja's
hand, gently tugging him towards the stairs.
"Ow," Kuja complained, frowning, and Zidane laughed and quickly
loosened his grip.
"Sorry...forgot," Zidane said, and Kuja pouted slightly at him, making
him laugh. He lifted the hand and placed a gentle kiss at the tip of
the injured thumb, and Kuja hummed again, a low sound in his throat
that made Zidane shiver. "C'mon."
Kuja followed him without protest, chuckling quietly when Zidane
almost fell down the stairs.
"What's your hurry?" he teased gently, and Zidane huffed in annoyance
and made a show of brushing himself off.
"Just get in the bedroom," he said, feigning irritation. He pointed
towards the open doorway at the bottom of the stairs.
"As you wish," Kuja agreed, brushing past him and going into the
sunlit room. He jumped when Zidane's hands closed over his hips,
guiding him gently towards the bed. "Zidane! And you call me
impatient..."
"You *are* impatient. Don't deny it," Zidane said, laughing. Kuja
turned around and quirked an eyebrow.
"All right," Kuja admitted with a wry smile, reaching out to brush
Zidane's hair away from his face. "I admit it. I'm impatient. But so
are you."
"A perfect match," Zidane teased, gently rubbing Kuja's hips,
grinning as Kuja pressed closer, responding to the contact.
"Mm...Zidane..." Kuja growled softly, leaning forward to bury his face in
Zidane's neck.
"Uh-huh?" Zidane said, and Kuja breathed out swiftly, surprised, as
Zidane gently pushed him down to the bed and then climbed on, sliding
his leg over Kuja's hips to straddle his stomach.
"I forget," Kuja said breathlessly, closing his eyes as Zidane leaned
over him, fingers quickly working at the buttons of Kuja's shirt.
Kuja shuddered as Zidane chuckled, the vibrations of his laughter
moving through Kuja's entire body.
Zidane tilted his head, peering down at the lithe body beneath him,
and musing yet again that Kuja looked truly ridiculous in the jeans
he'd borrowed from Zidane, with the cuffs at the bottom rolled down
to accommodate his greater height.
"I have *got* to get you out of those pants..." he mused aloud, and he
grinned at the warm sound of Kuja's laughter, a sound that had become
unbearably rare. Kuja was still laughing, tittering helplessly behind
a hand, as Zidane set to work on doing just that, shifting off of
Kuja so he could undo the jeans and then pull them down past Kuja's
hips. Kuja wriggled lightly against the bed, helping, until Zidane
finally tossed the jeans across the room and then set to work on the
shirt again, undoing the rest of the buttons. Kuja's hands rested
lightly on Zidane's thighs, not moving.
After a while, Zidane realized that Kuja was still looking at him
with some measure of anxiety, and that his palms were sweating enough
that Zidane could feel it through the fabric of his own jeans.
"Hey Kuja," he said with a gentle smile, lifting an eyebrow as he
leaned back to meet Kuja's eyes. "Do you mind helping me out here? I
don't want to do all the work."
"Oh. Sorry," Kuja murmured, looking a bit confused.
"That means touch me," Zidane said with a quiet chuckle, leaning down
to catch Kuja's lips in another kiss. When he broke away, Kuja was
looking up at him, breathing quickly again as he nodded. Zidane
groaned as Kuja abruptly gripped his hips and pulled him closer. Kuja
gasped when Zidane slid his leg between Kuja's, denim scratching
across bare skin, his knee pressing into Kuja's erection through the
light fabric of his underwear.
"Zidane..." Kuja moaned, using his grip on Zidane's waist to pull him
closer. Zidane groaned loudly into Kuja's neck when their pelvises
ground together.
"Jeez..." Zidane puffed out, his entire body trembling as he raised
himself up to look at Kuja. "I guess it's been a really long time for
me. I mean, with a guy..."
Kuja just smiled, reaching up to tangle his hands in Zidane's hair.
Zidane grinned, lightly tweaking one of Kuja's feathers before he
leaned back to undress himself. Kuja struggled the rest of the way
out of his shirt and tossed it over the side of the bed, sitting up
to help Zidane with his own shirt. They laughed as their fingers slid
together, and Zidane snorted when Kuja's tail wrapped tightly around
his waist, pulling him closer.
"Hey, you," he said lightly, patting the silvery fur before gently
untangling himself from its grip.
"Sorry," Kuja said a bit sheepishly, shoving his tail aside and
leaning forward to kiss his way along Zidane's neck, only to stop and
chuckle when Zidane's tail tightly gripped his thigh.
"Sorry," Zidane said cheekily, and Kuja growled softly and bent to
work on undoing Zidane's pants. "Whoa, jeez...there's that impatient
streak again..."
"Hush and help me," Kuja said, and Zidane laughed as he complied. A
moment later, Zidane's shirt and pants sailed across the room to join
Kuja's, and then Zidane's hands were gently tugging away Kuja's
underwear. Kuja sighed, burying his face in Zidane's neck as his full
nudity was finally revealed. Zidane grinned, realizing that Kuja was
awaiting his verdict, and let his eyes roam over the full length of
the other man's body.
"Damn," Zidane whispered, running his hands lightly over the muscles
of Kuja's chest. "You're..."
"What?" Kuja asked, almost teasing him, his hand stroking Zidane's
bare back.
"Beautiful, I guess," Zidane said a touch hesitantly, as though
unsure how this would go over.
"Thank you," Kuja said simply, fluttering his eyelashes and giving
Zidane a completely doe-eyed look. Zidane burst out laughing,
collapsing against the bed. Kuja propped himself up on an elbow,
smiling down at his younger lover. Zidane's laughter cut off into an
abrupt groan as Kuja lightly stroked his hand over Zidane's erection
through the fabric of his boxers. "I fail to see what's so funny."
"Funny?" Zidane gasped as Kuja's hand closed over him and squeezed
gently, making him jump. He turned, burying his face in Kuja's
neck. "What's funny? I don't see anything funny..."
"That's what I thought," Kuja said lightly, chuckling as he leaned
down to close his mouth over a hardened nipple. Zidane gasped and
arched towards him, hands clutching his shoulders.
"Mm...Kuja..." he groaned, and then he gasped, eyes flying open, as Kuja
tugged off his boxers in one swift motion and then gripped onto him
again, harder than before.
"Yes?" Kuja murmured against his skin.
"Mm...gods..." Zidane whispered, and then he placed his hands against
Kuja and gave him a gentle shove. Kuja let out a soft sound of
protest as he fell back against the bed, and he watched as Zidane
scrambled for the door.
"Where are you going?" he pouted.
"Where the hell is that cream?" Zidane called back as an answer as he
disappeared around the corner. Kuja stared after him silently for a
moment before he burst out laughing, louder than Zidane had ever
heard him, collapsing back on the bed and clutching his stomach as he
guffawed.
Zidane padded quickly through the kitchen, glancing right and left to
make sure there were no peeping toms, and then bent to his pack,
retrieving the jar. Then he stood up, and jumped at the sound of a
sharp gasp from off to his left.
"Holy shit!" a voice exclaimed, and he spun, nearly choking on his
laughter when he saw the wide-eyed moogle face peeking in through the
window.
"What is it?" a female voice asked, and another face appeared in the
window. "Oh my God! Moco, Zidane's completely naked!"
"Oh gee, thanks for telling me, Mocha," Moco said irritably,
obviously fighting the urge to smack her upside the head. "I didn't
notice that Zidane was buck naked."
"Sorry guys," Zidane said, making a half-hearted attempt to cover
himself with his hands and blushing. "Can't talk just now...later!"
And with that he disappeared back down the stairs, tripping down the
last two again and nearly crashing into the wall.
"I'm okay, thanks for asking!" he called as he hurried into the room,
slamming the door behind himself. Kuja lifted himself up on his
elbows and raised both eyebrows. He was still grinning.
"Did I hear voices?"
"Yep. I just scared the bejesus out of Mocha and Moco," Zidane
answered, smirking as he tossed the jar to Kuja, who caught it
easily. "I'm sure they'll never speak to me again."
"Will you ever get over the loss?" Kuja said dryly, and Zidane
laughed as he climbed back onto the bed.
"Hey, they provide us with food and shelter...or at least they did,
until now," Zidane said with a slight smirk. Then his expression
softened as his eyes ran over Kuja's body again. Kuja sighed as
Zidane settled over him, hands roaming lightly along his sides.
Zidane's mouth gently teased his nipples, making him arch towards the
contact. His hands clasped into Zidane's hair, keeping a gentle hold,
though he didn't attempt to guide Zidane's actions, instead letting
him do as he pleased. He gasped and arched into the touch when
Zidane's hand gently closed around his erection, sliding up and down
the shaft.
"Kuja?" Zidane murmured against his skin. "Do you want me to...?"
"Yes," Kuja hissed, his hands running down over Zidane's shoulders.
Zidane lifted himself, kissing Kuja gently and then gasping into his
mouth when Kuja's hands closed over his buttocks and pulled him
closer, grinding against him. "Yes, I want you."
"Oh...Kuja..." Zidane groaned, trembling as he tried to regain his
focus. "Mm...where's that...?"
Kuja lifted himself slightly and fumbled out across the bed, grabbing
the jar and shoving it into Zidane's waiting hand.
"Shit," Zidane said laughingly as he fumbled the jar, nearly dropping
it. "God, it's been a long time. Hold on a second."
"You don't know what you're asking," Kuja practically whimpered, and
Zidane chuckled as he finally got the cap unscrewed and dipped his
fingers in, coming out with a generous amount. He met Kuja's eyes for
a brief instant before his eyes dropped, and he focused on his task.
Kuja gasped and stiffened when he felt Zidane's fingers brush against
his entrance, and then press forward.
"Relax," Zidane murmured, glancing up towards Kuja's face. Kuja
nodded, taking a deep breath against the flash of pain that rippled
through him as Zidane's fingers pressed deep into him and twisted.
"Mm..." Kuja breathed, closing his eyes and tossing his arm over his
face as he squirmed.
"You okay?"
"Yes," Kuja answered, nodding and taking another quick breath. Zidane
was breathing harshly as he watched the motions of his own hand, and
he caught his breath at the same instant that Kuja stiffened as he
pulled his fingers away. Kuja groaned and gripped Zidane's arms as
Zidane settled into place over him, replacing the touch of his hand
with the touch of his erection.
"Still with me?" Zidane said breathlessly, and Kuja nodded, groaning
as he glanced down to watch Zidane spreading some of the ointment
over his own erection. "Right. Stay with me..."
Zidane pressed closer, and Kuja fought not to stiffen at the invasive
touch, his fingernails biting into Zidane's skin as Zidane let out a
quick breath and then pressed forward. Kuja cried out softly at the
penetration, and Zidane gasped sharply but forced himself to stop,
holding himself still against Kuja.
"You okay?" he asked again, gentler this time.
"Yes. Don't stop," Kuja whispered, opening his eyes to meet Zidane's
concerned gaze. Zidane nodded and thrust forward again, and Kuja
concentrated on keeping himself calm and relaxed, his hands still
tightly gripping Zidane's arms as Zidane shifted position slightly
and with another gentle thrust pushed past the barrier and slid in
deep. Kuja let out a long, sharp breath and Zidane stroked his hair
back from his face.
"Kuja..."
"Mm...Zidane..." Kuja murmured, turning his face into the side of
Zidane's neck as Zidane moved again, gently shifting further until he
was buried as far as he could go.
"Gods," Zidane whispered again, closing his eyes and resting his
forehead against Kuja's shoulder. "It's been so long since I...mm..."
"Zidane," Kuja said somewhat urgently, and Zidane chuckled before
lifting himself up again, gently meeting Kuja's pleading eyes.
"Okay. Hold tight," Zidane said warmly, gripping the sheets tightly
for leverage before he started to move, gently pulling back and then
thrusting forward. Kuja groaned at the first few jerky movements,
then moaned as Zidane found his rhythm and Kuja struggled to move in
counterpoint. His tail was wrapped tightly around Zidane's thigh,
encouraging him forward, and he felt Zidane's tail lightly stroking
along the inside of his own thigh, increasing the sensation between
his legs.
"Oh God," Zidane whispered roughly against Kuja's neck, and then he
tossed his head back, hair flying, and chuckled softly. "Damn...that
feels good..."
"You have no idea..." Kuja murmured, wrapping his legs around Zidane's
waist to draw him closer. Zidane moaned and bent to claim a kiss, and
Kuja sighed into his mouth as he felt the familiar sensations of
pleasure building at the base of his spine.
"Zidane...I..." he struggled, hands clamping tightly onto Zidane's
shoulders as he thrust into Zidane's motions. "Oh gods..."
Zidane could only respond with a quiet moan halfway towards a whimper
as he buried his face in Kuja's neck and quickened his pace, unable
to hold back any longer. Kuja cried out again as Zidane finally hit
his prostate, and he imagined he saw fireworks behind his eyes as he
clenched tightly around Zidane. Zidane groaned in response to this
and opened his eyes, meeting Kuja's hazed-over gaze, trying to hold
his eyes through the last of it.
"Zidane!" Kuja whispered sharply, hands gripping Zidane almost
painfully as the orgasm rippled through him, growing in intensity
until he almost screamed, burying his face against Zidane's shoulder
to muffle the sound.
"Kuja..." Zidane murmured in his ear, and then he caught his breath
sharply as Kuja's muscles clenched down again, sending him over the
edge. He shouted something incoherent and thrust deeply, then went
stiff for a moment as he came. Kuja groaned as Zidane finished within
him and then caught himself just before he collapsed.
"Oh...my...God," Zidane whispered, dropping his head to rest against
Kuja's shoulder.
"Let go," Kuja said softly, stroking Zidane's back. "I can take the
weight."
Zidane only had time to nod before his arms gave out and he collapsed
over his former enemy. Kuja's arms gently surrounded him, hands
stroking through his hair as he fought to catch his breath. Kuja's
legs slowly relaxed from where they'd been holding tightly to
Zidane's waist, coming to rest on either side of Zidane's hips.
"Hey Kuja?" Zidane murmured after several long minutes of trying to
catch his breath and for the most part failing.
"Yes?" Kuja murmured, lazily stroking a hand along Zidane's back.
"I don't want you to...say you're useless anymore," Zidane whispered,
gently kissing Kuja's neck. "It isn't true. I hope I can prove to you
that I..."
"I know," Kuja said, closing his eyes against the sudden, shocking
sting of tears. "I know. Thank you, Zidane."
"Hey," Zidane said, and Kuja opened his eyes, surprised to hear the
sound of Zidane's chuckle. "It was no big deal."
For a moment Kuja sputtered in silence.
"Why, you..." he said finally, grinning as he pushed upwards abruptly,
flipping Zidane underneath him and straddling him. "I think I may
have to teach you a lesson..."
"Please do..." Zidane murmured, still chuckling as he stroked Kuja's
back. "I don't mind."
They both chuckled, and then their laughter echoed hard against the
walls as Kuja lost his balance and tumbled into Zidane, unable to get
up again because he was laughing too hard.
*****
"Holy shit," Morrison said, standing just outside the door and
staring at Moco wide-eyed. "You're kidding!"
"What the hell does that sound like to you?" Moco pointed out with a
wry grin.
"Holy shit..." Morrison said, shaking his head again and rubbing the
sweat out of his eyes. "I think I need a drink."
*****
Innocence is a face that always lies
Innocence is a wish for some
But it's something I can't buy
What are you trying to prove
So many mountains to move
And all your demons are heaven sent
My lost cathartik friend
Try to change
Try to change...
*****
THE END