Author: Lipstickcat
Email: [email protected]
Pairing: James/Brock
Rating: Pg-13
Warnings: Songfic. Not a happy ending. Death.
Disclaimer: The characters don�t belong to me and the song belongs to The Cure
***
// �This dream never ends� you said �This feeling never goes ~ The time will never come to slip away.� //
�Prepare for trouble...�
I sighed, we all sighed, the Team Rocket motto was really beginning to wear thin. At the same time, a strange feeling shot through me, a burst of excitement flashing across my chest. I found myself anticipating the well rehearsed lines, wanting to hear the words fall from those luscious lips. Yet it wasn�t Jessie�s voice that I was waiting to hear, not slender sexy Jessie. It was James�.
I still don�t understand why I fell for him, but I did.
I felt disappointed as Pikachu stepped forward. She could have at least waited until they had finished the motto. At least let him say his name.
We watched as Team Rocket disappeared into the distance. I could hear Misty laughing but I was lost in my own thoughts. I was worried about James, he�d been shocked so many times, it couldn�t be healthy, his insides must have been half fried.
�Brock! You coming?� Misty called to me. I shook my head and ran to catch up. We began to walk in the direction that the Rocket members had blasted off in. I knew that we would see them again soon. That gave me hope, but it was then that I realised that Ash was a Sadist, we always followed Team Rocket. He enjoyed causing them pain.
// �This wave never breaks� you said �This sun never sets again ~ These flowers will never fade.�//
All I wanted to do that evening was sleep. I was exhausted, I had cooked dinner without a word of thanks, again. But, Ash and Misty had insisted on an after dinner bicker, so I decided it would be best if I went for a walk.
It was a warm night so I didn�t miss the campfire. Even though the forest was thick, I could see beyond the trees into the dusky sky. The stars shone in milky clusters, I marvelled at how many there were without the town lights drowning them out. I guess James was doing the same, because we walked straight into each other. He fumbled for a second, before realising who I was.
�Watch where you�re going!� He said, hands on hips.
�Yeah? Why don�t you watch where you�re going?� I snapped back. Then I stopped, we sounded like Ash and Misty. Besides, I think I was a bit too harsh, he suddenly looked scared and alone. �Sorry.� I said more gently. �The stars are beautiful, aren�t they?�
James nodded and smiled. His eyes twinkled. Then he bent down to pick up the trademark rose that he�d dropped. I panicked, he was about to go. I suddenly felt desperate to talk to someone my own age, not just immature kids.
�Is that thing real?� I asked, searching for something to start a conversation with.
�Huh? The rose?� I nodded an affirmative at him. �Sure.�
�But, don�t they die?�
�Of course, but I have a secret.�
�What?� I was intrigued.
A sudden fire ignited in his eyes, making the emeralds dance. He grabbed my hand and started to pull me through the forest. He was a fast mover, leaping over roots and ducking under branches until I was completely lost. We burst though some bushes into a clearing and he let go of my hand.
I looked around, jaw wide. All around were huge rose bushes. Some wove up trees, surrounding them with delicate pinks and deep reds. Others formed archways or trailed though the grass. The ground was covered in a carpet of satin petals, making the grass that was showing seem to glow. Every bush was laden with huge flowers. Even though it was night, many of them were still open. Dew rested on their petals like tiny diamonds.
�Wow.� I managed to breath out.
�I found this place earlier.� James confided in me. �I can always find a place where roses grow, where ever I am. But I�ve never found a place as beautiful as this before, it�s like magic.�
�Wow.� I said again.
I walked over to the nearest bush and reached out to pluck a yellow rose that looked like gold in the moon light. The pain came in two waves; first the awareness that I had snagged my thumb on something, then the registering of the thorn in my thumb shot through my brain.
�Ow.� I moaned as I pulled my thumb away. James walked to my side and took my hand to study the droplet of blood welling up. He looked concerned, but then he half smiled at me.
�That�s what I like about roses. They�re so delicate and fragile looking, so beautiful and silky to the touch. Yet, if you don�t treat them with respect, they can hurt you with their hidden thorns.�
�Like you?� I asked before actually thinking.
�I wish.� He muttered shyly.
�Well I think so. Maybe less of the hurting part.�
// �This world never stops� you said �This wonder never leaves ~ The time will never come to say goodbye� �This tide never turns� you said �This night never falls again ~ These flowers will never die� Never die Never die These flowers will never die. //
James turned his back to me. I could tell by the heat radiating from him that I�d embarrassed him. I found myself reaching out to touch his beautiful blue hair. I�d never seen anything like it on a man, so feminine, yet so masculine. It was soft and smooth beneath my fingertips, I loved the feel so much that I began to stroke it with my palm.
To my surprise, James leaned his head back against my hand. I could see him taking a deep breath, I watched his chest rise and fall. When he turned around to face me he was breathing heavily. My heart began to patter and I realised that my breathing had increased too.
He blinked and his long eyelashes fluttered over his cheekbones. Then he lent forward, only halfway, so I had to lean in to close the gap. Our lips met and the world disintegrated around me. It was my first kiss and it felt so right.
We pulled away and studied each others expressions. James was flushed, but he didn�t seem upset. His eyes darted over my face, trying to read me, I think I must have been grinning.
Simultaneously, we pulled each other back in to kiss again. Our bodies collided as our lips met. I could feel the length of his body pressed tight against mine. I could feel his erection against my thigh, and I was aware of my own against his.
His lips began to move against mine, I copied . The kissing became more frantic and breathless. I held the sides of his head, my fingers weaving through his locks, and I pushed my tongue out of my mouth and into his. I was met by his wet tongue and the sound of my heart beating filled my ears.
His hands gripped my bum and suddenly jerked me forward, grinding me into his hips. I gasped as we fell to the floor. I landed to the side and rolled over, letting my head fall back into the cushion of damp petals. James climbed on top of me, his legs straddling my waist. He pulled my waistcoat off forcefully and flung it to the side. He untucked my T-shirt and slipped his hands inside. I had always assumed that he wore leather gloves, but they weren�t. They were suede, warm and almost furry against my skin. He took the bottom of my shirt and I sat up as he pulled it over my head. I slowly pulled his gloves off, finger by finger and he ran his delicate hands over my chest as I unbuttoned his jacket. It fell to the floor and was quickly followed by his black T-shirt.
With a heave, I pushed him from my lap so that he landed between my legs, and I scrambled to push him down and get on top of him. I kicked off my trainers. James looked up at me, his eyes were luminous, like the dew covered grass. I read the problem without a word passing between us. I turned and pulled off his calf length biker boots for him. For a second I tried to imagine what he would look like with a roaring Harley between his legs. I shivered in pleasure and wondered if he could ride.
I shook myself and pulled off his less sexy woolly socks. I didn�t wear socks to worry about.
All the while, James was running his hands up and down my spine. I turned to face him and grabbed his arms. Holding them tightly I made him sit up and buried my face in to his neck. He moved his head back for me and sighed as I sucked and kissed hard at his tender skin. When I pulled away, he had a perfectly round love bite on his neck.
He reached up, unhooked my belt buckle and yanked my belt from my trousers. Suddenly I felt nervous. It was apparent that James knew quite well what he was doing. He saw my hesitation and stopped. He let me slide off his lap and sat up. Cupping my face, he whispered to me.
�Its OK. We don�t have to do anything you don�t want. You just have to say stop, that�s all. No pressure, there�s always next time.�
I nodded. I felt suddenly very secure. �There�s always next time�. It meant so much.
The whole world burst into eternal roses that night, before my eyes. I�d never imagined such exquisite pleasure. And he was happy to leave it like that. No pressure. We lay together in the grass afterwards, tangled up in each other. I loved the way we looked, my dark skin bringing out his porcelain beauty. His hair smelled of strawberries, that surprised me.
// �This dream always ends� I said �This feeling always goes ~ The time always comes to slip away� //
As dawn began to lighten the sky, we dressed and headed back to our camps before we were missed. We vowed to met again the following night.
I crept into my sleeping bag without a sound. Ash and Misty were sharing a bag again, I was glad that I hadn�t been around to hear their sick little sex games during the night. Pikachu saw me, but she didn�t say a word, she had probably been away from camp all night too, Ash was too absorbed in himself to notice, but the rodent had quite a social life.
The day passed slowly, thankfully we didn�t run into Team Rocket in the forest. Although I couldn�t help but wonder want James was doing. Both Ash and Misty noticed that I was in more of a dream world than ever and teased me that I was hallucinating Officer Jennys and Nurse Joys. It was strange, their names no longer gave me goosebumps. If they had mentioned Team Rocket I might have embarrassed myself, however.
// �This wave always breaks� I said �This sun always sets again ~ and these flowers will always fade� //
Eventually they thought to ask me what was up. So I told them, they were my friends after all. I told them that I was in love. They oohed and awwed and asked me who the lucky girl was.
�James.� I smiled nervously.
Misty paled and Ash fell silent. I�d feared worse. I sat down and waited for someone to regain the ability to speak. Misty was first.
�I can deal with you being gay, but why James? After all Team Rocket have done to us? How can you love someone so evil, so sick and twisted?�
Sick and twisted? I couldn�t even believe she was saying that, after all that she and Ash got up to!
�Fine.� Ash spoke at last. �But if he comes anywhere near me, I�ll set Pikachu on him.�
�Why?�
�Its obviously a trick to get Pikachu.� He stated matter of factly, with his hands on his hips and nose in the air.
I sighed. That was the most support I was going to get from my friends. I stormed off without another word, it was time to find the rose patch anyway. As I walked into the distance I could hear one of them mutter �Faggot� to the other.
// �This world always stops� I said �This wonder always leaves ~ The time always comes to say goodbye.� �This tide always turns� I said �This night always falls again ~ and these flowers will always die.� Always die Always die These flowers will always die. //
I found my way back to our secret paradise before James. I was gazing up at the full moon, awed by its glowing beauty, hung around the velvety throat of the night like a pendant. James appeared from behind a thicket of bushes. He shook as he approached me. I scrambled to my feet and ran over to him.
�What�s wrong?� I asked as I wrapped my arms around him.
�Meowth saw me sneaking out.� He wailed. �He made me explain where I was going. I told him and Jessie. I thought they knew, I thought it was obvious.�
�What was obvious?� I asked, I could feel myself frowning hard as I wondered what had happened.
James sank to the ground. I slid down with him, still holding him tightly to my chest. I could feel the dampness of his tears through my T-shirt.
�That I�m gay! But it seems that it wasn�t. Jessie even thought that we had �chemistry�.� He stopped for a moment and gulped down some air. �She was really upset. She said I was a freak and she didn�t want to see me again. Meowth said that people like me don�t deserve to live.�
I felt the rage building up inside of me. It was blinding, if I hadn�t have been committed to staying with James to comfort him, I don�t know what I would have done. But all I could do was stroke his shining hair and whisper in his ear that they were wrong. They didn�t deserve to have a friend like him. Everything would be OK. Just wait and see.
He suddenly stopped crying and his body stilled. He pulled away from me and sat back. He looked so strong at that moment, so determined. He smiled at me. He was a good actor.
�You�re right.�
Then he stood up. I looked up at him, his pale skin reflecting the silver of the moonlight as he glanced around. He crouched down and kissed me gently. I felt his eyelashes flutter over mine as he closed his eyes.
�You know I love you don�t you?� He said as he pulled back.
�I know.� I smiled as he began to walk away.
I let him go. I simply thought that he needed a moment of privacy. I watched as he carefully found a path between two rosebushes. I didn�t think to stop him. I didn�t even tell him that I love him. I didn�t know that they issue Team Rocket with guns...
// Between you and me, its hard to ever really know who to trust, how to think, what to believe. Between me and you, its hard to ever really know who to choose, how to feel, what to do. //
The shot broke through the chattering sound of nocturnal pokemon. I felt like my heart and soul were being torn from my body. For an agonising second, I was outside of myself, watching the fear grow on my face, as the world stood silent. Then, with a rush, I was me again and I was on my feet, pushing though the rose bushes, not even trying to find a path. The thorns tore at my clothes and ripped at my flesh, but it barely registered. I had to get though.
As I stumbled out of the other side I saw him, lying on a bed of pale pink petals. He looked so peaceful, like that was were he was meant to be. Like his whole tortured life had lead to this place. Somewhere in my aching head, I told myself that he was only sleeping, even though I knew that it wasn�t true. It couldn�t be true, his eyes were still open.
A small silver handgun lay by his side. As I approached I could see the black scorchmarks around his bleeding lips, where he had put the barrel in his mouth. I dropped down next to him. I was shouting and screaming, but I couldn�t hear my voice. His eyes were dull and dark, there was no luminosity left in them. I tried to wipe the image of his dead eyes from my memory, but I can�t forget it. I closed his eyelids and tried to move his sticky hair from his face. It was dark purple, dyed by the burgundy blood that left streaks on his white cheeks.
As I pushed his hair to the back of his head, I pressed my fingertips against something soft and warm and gooey. I jerked my hand back quickly, knowing that I had touched a part of James that I should never have been able to feel.
I laid down beside him, rested my head on his chest and cried. The tears came from deep inside of me, each one wrenched from my heart, stinging as they tumbled from my eyes.
Eventually, no more tears came and James� body grew cold. I got up and wiped my face with my bloody fingers. A thick brownish pool had formed around his head, seeping over the pink petals and drowning them. I bent down, picked up the little handgun and absentmindedly looked at it. A rose was engraved along the barrel. I slipped it into my waistband and began to walk away, determined not to look back.
The forest is cold and dark now, but I don�t have to be able to see to know where I�m going. I don�t have to check the gun to know that there are five bullets left. Just enough. One each for those that pushed my first love over the edge and stole him from me. One each for so called friends that are only interested in hurting people.
Then one to stop my broken heart.
// Never fade never die, you give me flowers of love.
Always fade always die, I let fall flowers of blood. //