Author: Lipstickcat
Pairing: 2/4, 4/2, 1/2, 3/4
Rating: Nc-17, without a doubt
Disclaimer: I don�t own them, and I seriously doubt that they�d want me to after this.
Warnings: This is very important. A very nasty fic. There�s bloodplay, (vampirism I guess), semi non-con sex, possibly OOC (depends how screwed up you think the boys are), swearing, did I mention the bloodplay? Please don�t read this if you think any of this may upset you.
***
Quatre picked his way through the large chunks of Deathscythe. The battle was over and the others would be there soon, but he was first on the scene, it was up to him to help Duo. He forced his way into the cockpit. Duo was sprawled out on the floor, and Quatre couldn�t help the worried gasp that escaped his lips. He hurried over to his friend and rolled him onto his back. No sound came from the other figure and he quickly checked his pulse. The thud of a heartbeat was strong in his veins. Duo was fine, just out cold.
Quatre looked down at the prone form and assessed the situation. He�d be too heavy to lift on his own, he�d have to wait for the others. His eyes scanned over the pilot�s body for any signs of injury. Nothing looked broken or out of place, only his face showed any real signs of damage. A mark on the side of Duo�s head promised to bloom into a bruise in time. He probably hit his head when he crashed, it would explain why he was unconscious. Hopefully there�d be no permanent damage.
The only other sign of injury was on his lips. A small trickle of blood pooled along his swollen bottom lip. He appeared to have bitten quite deeply into the soft flesh. The healthy neon glow of the fresh blood stained the top of the lip brightly and followed the tiny ridges of it further down in scarlet streaks. The colour was the most attractive shade of red that Quatre had ever seen. Hypnotising.
Before he knew it, he was leaning down and pressing his lips against Duo�s. The unconscious boy�s lips were warm, silky and slick. Quatre let his lower lip slide over Duo�s mouth, parting to give way for his tongue to lightly scrape the bite and lap up some of the coppery blood. He drew his tongue back into his mouth, letting each taste bud burst with the unfamiliar tang before swallowing. He pressed a little deeper for another taste.
Suddenly, Duo moaned. Quatre sat back in shock and guilt. Duo�s eyes flickered open, blinking several times in an attempt to realign his vision.
�Quatre�� Duo smiled at him. �Man, does my head hurt.�
Uncomfortably, Quatre filled Duo in on his condition and assured him that everything would be fine once the others got there. Duo didn�t seem too worried and that put Quatre�s mind at rest; after all, who else knew more about the extent of Duo�s injuries than Duo himself? If he said he was fine, he was fine. More importantly, he didn�t seem to have any recollection of what had occurred moments before.
Quatre hastily licked away the last of the metallic taste from his lips as Trowa climbed into the cockpit. Trowa eyed him silently, before turning to Duo. With one last glance over to the blond Arab, he slung Duo�s arm around his neck and helped to carry him out to the Gundam.
***
Quatre leaned back against the kitchen worktop and glanced over at Duo, who was busy making himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A week had passed and Duo was indeed fine. Quatre had been right about the bump on his head though, it had developed into a deep purple bruise with yellowy edges that began somewhere beneath his fringe and finished just below his cheekbone. The sight, whilst a mar on Duo�s face, also had its own subtle beauty to Quatre. The way that it gradually changed colour from middle to edge, colours that didn�t belong on Duo�s pretty face, yet seemed like they�d always been there.
Duo was happily humming to himself and Quatre�s gaze wandered over the expanse of purple, along his jaw line, to the source of the noise. The swelling had gone down a little, but his lips still drew Quatre�s attention. The kiss. The taste. He couldn�t get that taste out of his head.
Oblivious, Duo pulled a tumbler out of the overhead cupboard and poured himself a drink of milk. He returned the carton to the fridge and began to take his meal into the living room.
He stumbled. The glass slipped from his fingers and shattered on the floor, splashing milk over his shoes.
With a start, Quatre pushed himself away from the work surface and hurried over to him. He was concerned that they had all been mistaken and the bump had done some more serious damage than they�d thought.
�Are you OK?� He asked as he placed a hand on Duo�s shoulder. �Do you feel dizzy?�
�Nah. Tripped over my big feet. I�m a klutz.� Duo shrugged and grinned goofily at him.
Relieved, Quatre turned away to find something to clear up what was left of the glass of milk. Duo stooped down to begin picking up the shards that were gathered around his feet. A hiss of breath made Quatre pause in his steps. He turned back to find Duo cursing under his breath and staring at his finger.
�I�m not doing well this week,� Duo smiled painfully at him, �I�m a walking disaster zone.�
�Let me have a look.�
He�d genuinely asked to see out of concern for his friend, to see if the cut was deep, if it needed a plaster. No other thoughts had crossed his mind. But, when Duo held his finger out to him, the shining droplet of ruby blood played tricks with Quatre�s mind. He gently took Duo�s hand and guided it up to his mouth. The finger was between his lips and his tongue was lapping at the cut before he even realised what was happening.
Duo stared at him for what seemed like minutes, violet eyes wide, jaw hung open in an expression that seemed almost comical. He closed and reopened his mouth to speak, but faltered. The sight of his finger in Quatre�s tiny, delicate mouth seemed too unreal. Yet, the moist heat, the slick movement of tongue swirling around his digit and the slight scrape of teeth against the top of his finger were real. He found his voice and it came out somewhere between a cry and a scream: short and loud, but expressing his sudden surge of horror at the realisation that Quatre was drinking his blood.
Sky blue eyes widened in an almost innocent expression, quickly flooding with fear, and possibly horror themselves. Duo yanked his hand away from Quatre�s grasp, his finger unceremoniously sliding out from between his lips.
�What the fuck do you think you�re doing?� Duo growled lowly at the small, pale boy, who was considering bolting out of the door. �You�You freak!�
They both whipped their heads around as the door to the main room opened. Heero entered, concern written on his slightly flustered face. He glanced at Duo and Quatre, then the spilt milk on the floor. By the time he looked back up, he had masked the expression that suggested that he had hurried from upstairs to get there so quickly, but the concern still showed in his eyes.
Trowa followed shortly behind him at a steadier pace and stopped beside Heero.
�What happened?� Heero asked as he surveyed the kitchen. �I heard you shout.�
Quatre began to take a few steps backwards as Duo fumbled for the words to explain himself. They both paused at a sound like thunder coming down the stairs that connected directly to the kitchen.
�What the hell is going on?� Wufei demanded as he reached the bottom step and stormed into the room. �Some of us appreciate the rare chance for some peace and tranquillity, you know.� He slammed both fists down onto the heavy wood table in the centre of the room as if trying to emphasis a point.
Duo was beginning to feel overwhelmed by all the attention. His head was swimming. All he�d wanted was to eat lunch in front of the TV. He had to get away from all the eyes that were watching him expectantly.
�He,� he said, waving a still seeping finger at Quatre, �is fucked up!� Then he fled.
Heero lingered for a second, his eyes burning into Quatre, before turning and hurrying after the Deathscythe pilot. Trowa didn�t even blink at his sudden departure. He gazed at Quatre silently, his expression unreadable. The blond fidgeted uncomfortably under his scrutiny and turned to Wufei. His expression was more easily readable: curious, as if any moment he was going to repeat his demand for an explanation about what was going on.
Quatre couldn�t explain, he wasn�t sure himself and he felt too ashamed to even try. Covering his face with his hands, he ran around the table, past Wufei and up the steps.
Trowa didn�t remain for much longer than that. He stared at the stairs for a moment, his expression still unreadable. Then he let himself out by the backdoor, into the small concrete yard that passed as a garden. The door slammed shut behind him.
Wufei whistled lowly to himself. Well, that had been interesting. This was why communal living wasn�t such a good idea. They all came with some pretty heavy baggage. He just wished that he knew how Duo and Quatre had managed to get theirs mixed up. Still, he mused to himself as he retrieved the dustpan and brush to clear up the broken glass, at least it was quiet now.
***
Duo sat in his room looking at his finger. A brown fabric plaster was wrapped around it. Heero had insisted on it. The normally quiet Asian had fussed and clucked over him like a mother hen until he�d finally given in and let him bandage such an insignificant cut. He�d also asked about what had happened in the kitchen, but had dropped the subject when Duo fell silent.
Duo let his head roll back and stared at the ceiling. He felt empty, and more than a little scared by his own thoughts. He was seriously considering going to see Quatre.
Then what? He asked himself, but he couldn�t answer the question. All he knew was that he felt lonely and unloved and, for the brief time that his finger had been in the other boy�s mouth, a space inside him had been filled.
It wasn�t that he didn�t think that people loved him, he knew that he had a place in the hearts of the other four pilots, as much as they had a place inside his. But it wasn�t the same. They never hugged or touched, or even sat close to each other for no reason other than it was nice. He needed that. Contact.
When Quatre had been so close to him, touching him, he�d felt warm. He knew that it wasn�t the long-term answer that he craved, no solution to feeling empty or unloved, but it was something. It was as if he could feel and feed off Quatre�s aura, or soul, or body heat. Or whatever. It felt good. And he couldn�t deny the sexual arousal that he had felt as well.
If only Quatre hadn�t been tasting him. The thought sent shivers along his spine. But despite this, he still wanted to go and at least talk to Quatre. He�d over-reacted earlier, and felt bad about snapping so nastily. Quatre deserved his chance to explain.
Duo unpicked the pathetic bandage from around his finger and flicked it across the room in the vague direction of the bin. Then he got up and opened his door.
***
Quatre hugged his knees tightly. What had he done? Why had he done it? Duo had every right to be upset with him. He�d betrayed his friend�s trust. By now he was sure that Heero had heard all the details, it was only a matter of time before someone came to kick him out, or worse.
He couldn�t blame them either. He couldn�t explain what was going on inside his head, but he knew that it wasn�t normal. How could it be? Maybe he should begin packing his bags ready.
He�d held back the tears for some inexplicable reason so far, but they were starting wet his eyelashes. Each time he thought of what he�d done and how he�d have to leave because of it a pain shot through his chest, wrenching a hiccupping sob from him. He rubbed at his eyes angrily, telling himself that he didn�t even deserve his own pity, he had no right to cry. It was all his fault and he�d have to live with it.
A timid knock at the door made him jump. He�d been prepared for it to be bashed down by at least one avenging pilot, followed by names, threats and recrimination. The gentle, almost polite, knock caught him completely off guard.
�Y-yes?� Quatre stuttered as he looked up.
The door opened and Duo slid inside, his eyes on the carpet, and shut it behind him. Quatre�s heart jumped in his chest, fear racing through him, but Duo didn�t look like he intended to attack him or anything. Slowly, he uncurled and moved to the end of the bed, his eyes warily fixed on Duo, who was still standing next to the door.
��Duo?�
Duo rubbed his arm and glanced around the room before eventually looking at Quatre. He smiled sheepishly, but the smile faded from his lips before it had fully developed. He sighed.
�Ah, Quatre man�. I�m sorry about earlier, I over reacted��
�No! It�s all my fault, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have�� He was silenced as Duo raised a hand.
�Let me finish. I over reacted before even stopping to find out what was going on. I didn�t give you a chance.� He walked over to the bed and sat down. He stared at his hands as he said the next part so quietly that Quatre had to strain to hear. �I liked it. Well, most of it.�
Quatre was stunned into silence. Of all the things he had expected or even hoped to hear, this wasn�t one of them. Duo looked up and caught his confused gaze, searching his sky blue eyes for something indefinable.
�You kissed me before, didn�t you?� He waited as Quatre nodded slowly, then he smiled dimly. �I thought I�d dreamed it. Wouldn�t be the first time I�ve imagined something like that.�
Quatre�s mouth fell open in a question, but he didn�t know quite how to phrase it, so it was left hanging, unspoken between them. Duo looked down sharply and began to pick at his fingernails. He took in a deep breath before looking up.
�I was wondering if I could spend the night?� The words came out rushed and blurred together, but there was no turning back now. �I thought that if you wanted, you could� ah� finish off what you started earlier.� Alarm bells were ringing in his head. This wasn�t what he had intended to do, or was it? This wasn�t giving Quatre the chance to explain himself, he wasn�t even explaining to the Arab exactly which part he had liked, or why. He was offering himself up in the hope of feeling loved. This was completely wrong, yet he couldn�t stop himself. �A compromise?�
Quatre�s mouth remained open, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Duo smiled coyly and tapped Quatre�s jaw shut with the back of his hand. Quatre licked his lips and frowned, studying the other boy�s face for a sign that he wasn�t serious, but he couldn�t find any.
�Ok.� He agreed.
The only sound was the rustling of sheets as Duo moved closer. He was desperate for contact, to feel needed, and he didn�t want to take anything slowly. His mouth crushed against Quatre�s delicate lips urgently, causing the blond to make a tiny surprised noise. A dull feeling that wasn�t quite pain radiated through Duo�s mouth from the slowly healing injury, but it just spurred him on, reminded him of what he was doing and how much he needed it.
Quatre reacted gradually, his mouth falling into Duo�s rhythm, but there was something missing. Duo realised what it was by the third time he felt the other�s slick tongue run across cut on his lip. It took two more passes before he made up his mind. He�d promised a compromise; Quatre would give him want he needed, and in return he�d give Quatre what he craved.
Pulling back, he looked around the room. His eyes rested on a knife on the bedside cabinet. He knew that it was one of the throwing knives that Trowa used in his circus act, he had given it to Quatre as a gift. He also knew that it was as sharp as a razor. Trowa seemed as fond of trying to kill himself as Heero, fortunately Catherine was as good at aiming straight as Heero was at failing to self destruct.
Quatre watched warily as Duo leaned across him to pick up the knife. Then he sat back and carefully dragged it along the fine layer of scab over his finger. A second passed, then a bead of red welled up, spreading along the thin line. He pinched the sides, making sure that Quatre could see what he was doing, and then slowly ran his finger across his bottom lip.
Quatre�s breath caught in his throat. He couldn�t believe what he was seeing. More so, he couldn�t believe the effect it was having on him. All rational thought left him as Duo traced his lips with his bloodied finger, then reached out, holding it centimetres away from his own mouth. Quatre�s tongue flickered out, licking the wet coppery fluid away. As Quatre swallowed, he was sure that every nerve in his body tingled.
This time, it was he who moved forward. He captured Duo�s mouth more delicately than Duo had done his, not wanting to lose a single drop. The warm slick feeling was familiar, but this time the lips he was kissing responded. Unhurriedly, he smeared the viscous fluid with his mouth, Duo answered with deep kisses, pressing for more. Quatre slipped his tongue between the two pairs of lips, running along both simultaneously. Duo moaned and Quatre obliged by entering his mouth and duelling with his tongue.
The taste of his own blood was off-putting to Duo, but he ignored the knot that balled up in his stomach, instead revelling in the feeling that shot though his body at the realisation that this was it: He was kissing Quatre. Blindly, he unbuttoned Quatre�s shirt and pushed it away from his shoulders. He bowed his head and kissed the faint ridge of collarbone and the refined dip at the base of the neck that was revealed. Quatre�s skin was heated and slightly salty. This was a taste that Duo could understand, a taste that he had wanted. The taste of another person.
He was so caught up in his own wonder that it took a while to register that his finger was back in Quatre�s mouth again. The knot in his stomach flipped over, but then Quatre moaned; a deep sexual groan that vibrated around his finger and travelled through his body. His eyes fluttered shut as his tongue swirled around the digit.
Duo sighed. If he didn�t think about it, this was just like any other sexual experience. He wanted more. He wanted to feel Quatre�s flesh against his. He wanted to feel needed. He wanted to let someone else be in charge, place himself in their hands.
He gently removed his finger, coxing a playful whine from Quatre, and pulled his shirt over his head, not even bothering to unbutton it. Then he shifted on the bed and lay back, beckoning Quatre over. Quatre obeyed and climbed across the bed until he was straddling the boy beneath him. He looked down at Duo, his expression thick with lust. His usual innocent wide eyes were replaced by heavy lids and an intense gaze that bore into Duo. The longhaired pilot gasped at the thought that the lust was for him. He reached up and cupped the back of the blonde�s head, drawing him close for another kiss.
When Quatre pulled back, Duo lifted his hand and held out the knife for him. Suddenly, Quatre looked startled, and began to pull back further. Duo caught his wrist and held him firmly. Quatre hovered over his body for a moment before reaching out and taking the knife from him. He looked unsure, afraid of hurting him.
Duo smiled up to him reassuringly. He wanted this; he wanted Quatre to have exactly what he sought, even if it was a little strange. It would be worth it to feel the warmth of another person, to feel needed.
Duo reached out, wrapping his hand around Quatre�s. He drew in a deep breath and clenched his teeth as he pulled the hand down. At first he didn�t feel it as the knife touched against his chest, then a sensation that didn�t quite sting blossomed from the area. He was tense, his taut muscles stretching the skin tightly across his chest. The skin gave way readily, splitting under the gentle pressure of the knife.
Quatre�s breathing had quickened, his chest heaving as he pulled his hand away from Duo�s grasp. He ducked down and pressed his lips against the cut, which was only a few centimetres long. Duo inhaled sharply as a probing tongue left a wet trail across the incision. His hands wrapped around the body above him and weaved in his hair.
�See? You didn�t really hurt me.� He muttered to the top of Quatre�s head.
Quatre moved upwards to kiss Duo passionately. Duo responded, his hands brushing down Quatre�s smooth skin and sliding between them to find his belt. He fumbled awkwardly for a few moments before unfastening it with a soft click. He moved on to the trousers and quickly undid them.
Wasting no time, he slipped his hands beneath the trousers and the waistband of Quatre�s underwear. His palms pressed against malleable flesh. He squeezed and was pleased to hear Quatre moan in reply. Wanting to remove all obstructions, he pushed the trousers down as far as he possibly could, hoping that Quatre would get the idea without too much direction.
Quatre pulled back, biting gently on Duo�s lower lip. His teeth scraped across the cut, rebreaking the skin. Duo choked back a cry as pain flashed through him, causing his head to jerk back into the pillow. Quatre looked down at him with questioning eyes. Duo swallowed his pain and forced a smile. He didn�t want Quatre to know that he�d hurt him else he�d stop. He didn�t want him to stop.
He pushed at Quatre�s trousers again, reminding him to continue with what they had previously been doing. Quatre sat up, and wriggled out of his trousers and underwear, before crawling down the bed to remove Duo�s.
Duo lay back with his hands behind his head. No, there was no way on this planet, or any other, that he wanted Quatre to stop. He chewed on his lip in anticipation of what would follow. He tried to imagine the sensation of flesh against flesh, and ignore the dull throb of his lip and the taste of his own blood in his mouth.
He shivered as Quatre�s lips pressed against his hip and began to kiss a trail back up his body. The journey was far too short and Quatre was soon leaning over him again. Duo reached up, seized a fistful of blond hair and pulled Quatre down.
As soon as Quatre found his way into Duo�s mouth, he was aware of the overwhelming copper tang. He lowered himself down, kissing deeply and roughly, as if he wanted to climb into Duo�s mouth. His chest pressed against Duo�s and the longhaired boy wrapped his arms around his shoulders and began to stroke and kneed at the supple body above him.
Both figures echoed each other with helpless moans and groans that rumbled through them. Suddenly Quatre�s teeth clamped down on Duo�s lip and tugged. He couldn�t help the surprised yelp as blood was forced into Quatre�s mouth. The sharp pain instantly became duller as Quatre began to suckle on his lip.
Duo screwed up his eyes as conflicting emotions flooded him. It felt so good to have the warm body above him, smothering him. The feeling of pliable skin beneath his fingertips was otherworldly. But Quatre was hurting him. He didn�t want to give up on the buzz he got from being so close to someone else though. If it got too much, he could ask Quatre to stop, he was sure that the other boy would. All he had to do was say.
Quatre�s body shifted and Duo was suddenly aware of the solid heat against the top of his thigh. He sucked in breath as it rubbed against his own erection. His mind was made up; he definitely wanted to continue with this. His mind and body may have been torn in two, but there was no denying how much he needed to carry this through to its end.
�Please�� He managed to moan between lips that had a blond Arab firmly attached to them. ��I need you� feel you� inside me��
With one last enthusiastic suck and sweep of tongue over the lip, Quatre moved back and levered himself up. Duo reached up and trailed his hand over the bare chest above him. Quatre shivered a little at the touch, making Duo smile. Then they arranged themselves so that Quatre was kneeling between Duo�s legs.
Quatre stroked Duo�s length, his fingers gentle and teasing. The action elicited further moans from Duo and caused him to arch off the bed, pushing his chest forward. Quatre watched hungrily, his eyes wandering over the small raw cut that was already beginning to heal. His other hand toyed with the knife that was by Duo�s side. His finger ran over the handle and along the flat side of the blade.
His attention shifted to the task in hand. He knew how it worked in theory, but he had never had sex with anyone before, never mind with another man. He doubted that Duo had either, but was too self-conscious to ask anyway. Thinking logically, he pulled Duo�s legs over his hips. He quickly wet his finger, noting briefly how much nicer Duo�s had tasted, and pressed it against his opening. An encouraging noise erupted from Duo as he pushed inside. He concentrated on the reactions that he got from the American as he moved around inside of him and the lingering taste of him in his mouth, rather than on what he was actually doing.
After a while he pulled out. He didn�t know if he�d prepared him enough, but he couldn�t wait any longer. The sooner he gave Duo what he wanted, the sooner he could go back to lapping up his blood.
He licked his hand thoroughly and carefully coated his own erection with his saliva. Leaning forwards slightly, he positioned himself against Duo�s entrance. Duo moaned in anticipation and clutched onto the bed sheets. Quatre glanced up to see if Duo was ready, but the longhaired pilot had his eyes lightly closed. As gently as he possibly could, he began to push himself inside.
Duo�s body stiffened instantly, a small cry of pain escaped his lips before he could stop himself. The pain was indescribable, and completely unexpected. It was sharp and searing and his instinct told him to move, to pull away, to stop this now. He swallowed what he could of the rest of the cry, but Quatre had noticed and was paused above him, worry filling his expression.
��Duo?�� He whispered, asking the person beneath whether to continue or not.
Duo closed his eyes lightly and drew in a shaky breath. The spikes of pain weren�t fading, but they had to, didn�t they? Else why would anyone want to have sex, ever? Deciding that it had to get better, he opened his eyes and craned his neck slightly to look up to Quatre.
�It�s Ok.� He lied and forced a fake smile.
A niggling voice in the back of Quatre�s head screamed �liar�. It didn�t take much intuition to know that Duo was in pain. The rigid body said it all. Quatre considered stopping, but Duo hadn�t told him to stop, he�d more or less encouraged him to continue. The truth was, Quatre didn�t want to stop. Duo was tight and hot, he�d never known any feeling like it before. He gave in to the wild urge that was engulfing him and pushed further in, Duo�s tense reaction only squeezed Quatre harder and made his rationality slip a little further out of reach.
Duo screwed his eyes up tightly as Quatre slowly rocked back and forth. Was he bleeding? He was sure that he�d felt something tear inside of him. He swallowed and willed himself to relax, but he couldn�t. He gritted his teeth to stop himself from crying out.
Quatre�s thrusts were getting deeper and stronger as he stretched Duo�s channel. Not that Duo noticed. All he knew was that the pain was gradually subsiding into a dull but persistent ache. Suddenly Quatre hit a spot that Duo didn�t even know existed. Another sharp feeling burst through him, radiating through his stomach and groin like a lightening strike. This feeling was a different, good, kind of pain. He cried out spontaneously, throwing his head back, his chest aching upwards.
�Don�t stop�� Duo found himself muttering without control. Maybe he was going to enjoy this after all. He wanted more.
Quatre quickly obliged him, drawing almost completely out before ramming deep inside again. Duo�s muscles spasmed, clenching tightly around Quatre�s cock before relaxing in a way that they had previously not done. Quatre smiled to himself as Duo let out a deep throaty moan. Good, he didn�t seem to be hurting anymore. He was eventually enjoying himself. That made Quatre feel better about what he was going to do next.
As he drew out and quickly surged in again, Quatre reached down to the side of him and found the handle of the knife. The blade glinted in the artificial light of the bedroom as he laid the cold edge against Duo�s breast. Duo merely sighed at the touch, the flesh beneath the blade rising and falling rapidly in time with his quickened breath.
First, he realised that there was something gliding over his chest, and then he felt pain. It took moments longer for him to connect the two. His eyes and mouth flew open at the same time as his lungs pushed out a shocked yelp. Even as the sharp sting blossomed and dulled into a throb and ruby blood welled up and spilled over the long gash, he felt the confusing tingle of pleasure that Quatre�s enthusiastic thrusts caused. Any protest was lost as the pain and pleasure mingled together, over ridding his thought process.
Quatre bent down and pressed his lips to the cut. He coated his tongue thickly with the warm fluid, lapping along the line of parted flesh. He swallowed, his taste buds singing out. His tongue probed between the layers of skin, teeth pinching it to draw more out.
Duo sucked in air between his clenched teeth and tried to ignore the sensations in his chest, concentrating instead on lower down. To his delight, Quatre stopped and sat back up. The blond leaned over and kissed him, rocking his hips back and forth teasingly. Duo opened his mouth to give access to the other pilot�s tongue and almost gagged at the over welling taste of blood. His blood.
Then Quatre sat back up and Duo watched wide-eyed as the knife was once again placed against his skin. The longhaired pilot�s lips were parted as his breath caught in his throat, but he didn�t say anything. Quatre ignored the notion that Duo may have been disturbed by what was happening and dragged the blade along the ridge of his collarbone. Thoughtlessly, he held the tip of the knife at Duo�s throat as he watched the crimson liquid seep up to the surface.
Duo wet his lips nervously as his heart hammered agonizingly in his chest. Had he let it go too far? Should he ask Quatre to stop? He was almost too scared to ask, in case Quatre refused. Then, the deadly steel was gone, as if it had never been there in the first place. Quatre drove himself in deep and, as an exquisite shudder spiralled through Duo�s body, he forgot his worries.
Quatre made short work of the collarbone and immediately made another cut. This continued for a while; Quatre alternating between lapping up Duo�s blood and thrusting in and out of Duo�s body with varying intensity, and Duo alternating between absolute torment and distress, and unrivalled pleasure.
Eventually, Quatre sat back up for the final time. He surveyed the bloody mess that he had made of Duo�s torso and felt a slight twinge of guilt. As a final after thought and a way to clear his conscience, he wrapped his fingers around Duo�s previously neglected erection. He pumped his cock hard, in time with his own thrusts. Duo arched off the mattress, moaning uncontrollably. Suddenly, he cried out and came over Quatre�s hand and his stomach. His internal muscles naturally tightened, pulling Quatre over the edge with him. The blond fell bonelessly on top of him.
They lay together, bathed in each other�s warm for a moment, trying to catch their breath. Then Quatre pull back the bed sheets and climbed between them. Duo followed, every movement hurt in one way or another. He winced in silence as he lay down beside the Arab, who turned out the lights, kissed him good night and then fell asleep against his shoulder.
***
The room was cold. It contrasted with the burning stings of the shallow cuts and made Duo think that he would go mad. The sheet was draped across him at his waist, exposing his chest and torso to the biting air. The only comfort was the patch of warmth on his chest where Quatre�s hand was lying.
It almost felt nice to have someone else there with him. He could hear the regular contented rhythm of Quatre�s breathing, feel it brush across his neck. This is it, he told himself, this is what you wanted. Only it wasn�t, and he couldn�t pinpoint why. He should be asleep too, floating in the hazy unconsciousness of post sex bliss and safe in the knowledge that he wasn�t alone. But he wasn�t. He was wide-awake, staring out at the murky darkness as if it had the answer.
He slid out of the bed slowly, Quatre murmured but didn�t wake. He pulled his trousers on, padded around the bed and crept out of the room. He walked along the corridor to the bathroom at the end. The night was silent. Everyone was sleeping except him. He wondered if anyone had walked past the room earlier and overheard them. The possibility that someone could have overheard made him feel sick. Would they have been able to tell exactly what was happening?
He turned on the taps and splashed his face with cold water, but it didn�t make him feel any better. It wasn�t Quatre�s fault. After all, he had known what would happen if he went to see him. He knew that the blond had developed an unusual kink and he�d gone anyway, he�d even been the one to initiate what had followed. He�d given Quatre what he needed and in return, Quatre had given him what he needed. He couldn�t blame him, he was still the same kind, generous boy.
He stood up straight and looked at himself in the mirror above the sink. He hadn�t bothered with putting the light on, but the room was sufficiently lit by a street lamp outside the frosted window alongside the mirror. He looked haggard. His hair was falling out of the braid, random pieces stuck out and fell over his face. The angry purple bruise looked grey in the light, like dead flesh. His semi-healed lip was swollen again, puffy and split. It had stopped bleeding, but any movement at all made it crack and sting. Looking at the top of his chest in the mirror, he traced a finger along a shallow cut that was already scarring over. Suddenly a flash of anger shot through him and he pressed down hard, making himself wince.
He deserved to hurt. He felt cheap and used. But it was his own fault, not Quatre�s. He�d been so desperate for contact and love that he�d reduced himself to a whore. He was like a broken toy, damaged inside and out.
He sank to the floor shuddering violently. Curling up into a ball, he began to sob. His fists clenched tightly to his chest. Tears ran down his face, some running over the cut in his lip and stinging sharply.
��Duo.�
The voice seemed distant, perhaps even in his head, but he stopped sobbing. The tears continued to stream over his cheeks as he blinked at the base of the sink and listened.
�Duo!�
Soft warm hands gripped his shoulders. Duo gasped as he was forced to sit up. Heero lifted his chin and stared questioningly at him. He tried to turn away, he couldn�t bare for Heero to see him like this, but the grip tightened a little, stopping him. He closed his eyes instead, at least then he wouldn�t be able to see Heero�s disgust in him.
�Duo�. It�s OK. I�m here.� Heero�s voice surprised Duo. It was little more that a murmur, he sounded unsure of himself. �You don�t have to explain. Just let me��
His voice trailed off, Duo couldn�t help the curiosity that forced him to open his eyes. Heero was crouching so close to him that it took a moment to focus on his face. His dark eyes were searching across Duo�s features, before fixing determinedly on his eyes. A small, weak sound rose in Duo�s throat and escaped in a low squeak. Then he fell forward, pushing his face into Heero�s silky hair, wrapping his arms around his bare chest, sobbing and shaking.
Heero settled on the floor, kneeling to the side so that Duo was entirely supported by him. He wrapped one arm around his shoulder and stroked the length of his braid with the other hand. He muttered soft noises that made no sense, but began to soothe the emotion-wracked boy in his arms.
Eventually, Duo calmed down. He felt warm all over, with Heero�s arms wrapped around him. His breathing became more regular, only occasionally punctuated with a sigh or shudder. He nuzzled into Heero�s shoulder and the other pilot tightened his hug briefly, before loosening it again, as if trying to reassure him.
Suddenly the world seemed very clear. Duo realised that he had been looking for love in all the wrong places, while the right place had been constantly at his side, trying to show him. He couldn�t even imagine how he could be so blind or stupid not to notice the attention that Heero had been giving him. He was glad that he�d noticed now. He was even almost glad that he�d done what he had. Almost. He at least knew that Quatre was partly to thank, and that made it hurt less when he thought about him.
He lifted his head and pressed his lips to Heero�s cheek. Heero stirred slightly, but made no attempt to move away or loosen his hold.
�Thanks.� Duo told him as he moved in to kiss his lips.
***
Quatre sat alone in the living room. When he had woken up, he had been alone. A terrible twisting feeling filled him and it had taken a few moments to realise why he should feel so bad. Then he remembered that he hadn�t gone to sleep alone. Duo must have slipped out sometime in the night and not returned.
Quatre felt like a heel. Duo had come to him, asked him. At no point had he actually asked him to stop. But still, he�d taken advantage. He�d lost control of himself. He�d ignored Duo�s expression as he cut him, blocked out the tears in his eyes and carried on. Duo had never physically said stop, but he�d known that Duo had wanted him to.
He wondered if it was rape.
It had been so easy in the moment to ignore the signs and do what he wanted to do. He�d not been so selfish for years. But now he wished that it had never happened. He could think �if only� all day: If only Duo hadn�t come back to him and offered a compromise, if only he hadn�t cut his finger, or his lip. But it had nothing to do with Duo really, this was all his mess and he had to accept the blame.
How could he even hope to have a relationship with anyone was beyond him. He wondered if he would even be safe to be near people again. All it took was the tiniest cut and he was out of control. He hadn�t actually wanted a relationship with Duo, that had been the longhaired pilot�s motive, but now that the idea had been planted in his head he realised that he didn�t want to be alone forever. But he had no choice. He didn�t want to fall in love with someone if he was going to hurt them, if they were going to leave him broken-hearted because of something he couldn�t control.
It was probably too dangerous to remain with the other Gundam pilots. What they did guaranteed that they�d get injured occasionally. He decided that the best thing he could do would be to return to the desert and live as a hermit. He�d have to try to take missions that wouldn�t involve contact with the others as well.
He was startled as someone entered the room. Slowly raising his head, he found that he was looking up at Trowa. The Heavyarms pilot contemplated him blankly, half his face hidden by hair, his mouth in a thin straight line that refused to give away his thoughts.
Quatre jumped slightly in his seat when Trowa suddenly moved. His arm lifted from his side, reaching behind himself haltingly, as if unsure of himself. He pulled a small metal object from his back pocket.
Quatre�s eyes widened as a click echoed through the room and a shiny knife sprung out in Trowa�s hand. What was he going to do, avenge Duo? Quatre unconsciously gripped the arms of the chair as Trowa moved forward and kneeled in front of him. He looked up briefly, his head held at an angle so that Quatre could see both his eyes from under his fringe. His green eyes shimmered, full of emotion that was held away from the rest of his face. Then he closed them and bowed his head.
Quatre held his breath as Trowa laid the blade in the palm of his hand. His fingers curled around it, clenching tightly, so that his knuckles turned white. Quatre�s heart began to race as his gaze flickered between the closed fist and the repressed pain in Trowa�s face.
Without warning, Trowa snapped his hand away, pulling the knife with an almost inaudible swish. Trowa�s mouth formed an �O� shape as he breathed out a quiet cry of pain, and the knife dropped to the floor. With his eyes screwed up tightly, the lines of a deep frown just visible under his hair, he held out his fist to Quatre and squeezed. A ruby river trailed through his fingers and dripped onto his knees.
Quatre wet his lips and swallowed. This was unbelievable. Trowa was on his knees in front of him, cutting himself, all for him. Trowa looked back up, his eyes opening slowly. They were searching, pleading. He uncurled his hand. The line ran from the gap between his thumb and forefinger, straight across his palm, to the edge on the other side. It was deep, exposing layers of flesh to the air, and bleeding profusely. His hand was bathed in red, from deep pools and thick droplets of crimson, to thin lines of scarlet that followed the ridges of his palm.
�I want you to take it, Quatre.� He whispered, his voice heavy with emotion. �No trades.�
Quatre wondered how much Trowa knew about what had happened with Duo, but decided that he�d rather not know. He slid forwards in the chair and took the palm in both hands. He licked cautiously and blood coated his tongue thickly. Quatre let out a contented, relieved breath, and heard the sigh being returned. Trowa hadn�t wanted anything in return, but he was going to give him something anyway.
He slipped off the chair, into Trowa�s lap and kissed him deeply. Trowa didn�t recoil at the metallic taste in Quatre�s mouth, he even seemed to enjoy it. As Trowa began to lie back on the floor, Quatre forgot about moving to the desert. As he alternated between kissing Trowa�s lips and his palm, almost all thoughts were forgotten. All he knew was that he�d met his match.
***