They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!"
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again This time, she didn't even hesitate She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!"
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip.
This time she didn't even think about it She let rip a fart that rivalled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she craps on you!"
The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!!!
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time he is crouched behind a tree stump
"My what big ears you have Mr Wolf" says Little Red Riding Hood
Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away
About 2 miles down the track, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign
"My what big teeth you have Mr Wolf" taunts Little Red Riding Hood
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams" Will you clearoff?! I'm trying to have a dump!!!!!
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU
On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT
On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS
In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING
On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY DETAILS INSIDE (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP (And that would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN (Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING (Are you sure? Let's experiment)
On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY (As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE (Now I'm curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS (Really? And that's bad why?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts - INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS (I'm glad they cleared that up)
On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
