| In this closet event of 1967, there were two instances (monkey tests) where the mind was required to let go. The first one was before turning inside-out (where consciousness moved from a katnut state into a gadlut state). As "all" rushed out through me (still basically in katnut consciousness), the wondrousness of the knowledge tempted my mind to hold it within the mind. It was such a treasure. A treasure the mind wanted to keep. Only after letting it go, in all its splendor and beauty, did I turn inside outside and enter into kadmon consciousness. The second instance where letting go by the mind was required was when coming down from kadmon consciousness, returning to a katnut state, and becoming recentered with the body. Again, the mind was tempted to retain within its borders all that it had been able to apprehend with kadmon consciousness. Again, letting go enabled the mind to safely cross the barrier which marked the transition between states of consciousness. |
 |
| in 1967 I was six and something happened, in my closet finding a mouse, dead in the closet not afraid of mice, beginning to pick it up, stopped by its eyes, open I could not stop looking I could not stop wondering at it it meant something more beyond what I was seeing this mouse trapped dead looking at me witnessing what what what what listening I could not move I could not move all my thoughtsvavfeelingsvavquestionsvavanswersvavmeanings becoming being mashing together, collapsing into my gut then a silence cutting the bursting emptiness, when eternity into a split mo-ment percolating then a rush of a whirlwind bursting full more than I could ever understanding at once coming out through my insides surrounding filling in the closet trying to hold this treasured possession in my mind of edges yet then trusting and letting go HaELeH going out such a strange thing was this doing I was doing turning inside out becoming being within one of infinite place above without end and below without bound |
| what hafoch really means ... |
 |