Screen shot courtesy of Mary-Justine's Elvis Stojko Gallery
CTV Profile - 1999
Worlds
March 1999
Screen shot courtesy of
Mary-Justine's Elvis Stojko Gallery
(then cuts to Elvis and Debbi sitting at table in restaurant)
Debbi: I thought you looked like a different person here, you know, we are there with our binoculars watching you every second during practice and I don't know how you cope with that, but my impression from you was that you were refreshed, you were here to do business..and..ah..I didn't have the feeling that you were holding back at all and that's the first time I've felt that this year.
Elvis: That's the first time I've felt that..um.. since, I guess, before even Nationals of '98 in Hamilton. I didn't hold anything back there and it has been a long time, and you almost forget what that feels like - to be on the defensive and then be on the offensive. It is very difficult because you..you know.. you don't want to protect because you can't be free and open, and people notice that. You can skate clean but still defensive and there's something missing. It doesn't have that spark and I knew all year that that spark is going to be coming out once I skate offensive. Once my leg is healed and then my body will release. It's a combination of not just the physical thing but a mental thing, together, blended. The leg heals, the mind realizes it. It takes a bit of time to adjust and then it slowly opens up and then everything is freed.
(cuts to clip of Elvis with headset on)
Debbi: I know it's been a really tough year for you. Did you ever think that maybe you weren't going to get there?
Elvis: Well, to be honest, there were days that you wonder why you are doing it. (cuts back to Elvis and Debbi in restaurant) Why do I put myself through this frustration everyday just hoping the next day my timings coming back and I'll attack more. You take three steps forward and then another two steps back and then you go forward again and then you go back more steps..and..you know..after each competition Uschi and Doug were great, they were like 'Keep it in perspective! Do not compare yourself against the rest of the pack because of what you've been going through. It's not the same thing.' It's so different when you throw yourself into a competition because you automatically, I automatically want to be prepared. I'm ready to compete and do business, to be ready to just make it happen and do the best I can but when I'm dealing with this situation, I have to remove myself - I can't keep beating myself up - I'm always a perfectionist. I expect so much of myself so even if its a little thing that's improved, I have to take that to heart and say OK it's another step forward. That's so difficult when you want to be leaps and bounds ahead of everybody.
(cuts to Elvis clip again...then cuts to clip of Elvis practicing Lion)
Debbi: Is there a moment that you can foresee where you'll say - I'm not talking about retirement - I'm talking about finally reaching a point where you go 'I've succeeded. I've done what I came to do.' Are you there?
Elvis: Not yet. Skating can be such a means for expressing the soul and that's what I feel I want to achieve but there is still more I want to express, that I still haven't spoken with, physically, on the ice. It's the flow, it is the feeling that I want when I have completed the performance and reached that pinnacle that I know I have, and as I look at it, it's not that I'm going to be happy if I make that point, because I'm happy with what I've done and I'm going to go through many hurdles until I reach that, but that's something I am going to have to keep pushing along and that determination and willpower. When it comes down to it, it has nothing to do with winning a medal, I have medals; I've been there. It fulfills you because you've reached certain goals and that spurs you on but what you are really looking for is the fulfillment in you.