| A Dance with the Devil Under Pale MoonLight By Don Carnage Another sleepless night. I wonder if I'll ever sleep again. The thought of her is constant. I can't get her out of my mind. Such beauty I cannot touch. Such a smile that when seen, raises me up to the heavens and makes all of my worries wither. And when that smile withers, the world does accordingly. Slumber summons me yet I cannot heed it's call. I stare out the window at the large, round moon, and I continue to think of how pale and sick-looking the moon shines, probably out of jealousy of her unsurpassed beauty. After a few hours had passed I began to hear a voice. A beautiful voice. I arose from my bed and stood outside my canopy window. Into the Garden I could see the beautiful plants and the lake. They all glistened under the moonlight. Suddenly, my eyes opened wide. I saw her. Dancing and singing in my Garden. I stood there amazed at her beauty. I knew in my heart that it could not be the one I loved. For my face did not hold vanity enough for her to notice me. I am the beast in which is hated by all. Knowing this I walked to the garden to investigate. She was also a beautiful creation of Marduk. She asked me to dance. Probably out of drunken awe I agreed. She told me, as we were dancing the night away to a melody unknown to me, " I know what you want, I can give it to you." I looked at her and said, "Really? Well, what is it I desire?" She told me. I was shocked. I asked her, "Who are you?" She answered, "You know who I am." I really didn't know so I asked again. She simply would not answer. -------- Then I realized she was wearing red, had fire-red hair, and skin creamy-white. I then knew who she was. I said, "What is your price?" She said, "Your soul." I asked her why she wanted my soul. Out of all the souls of people far better than me, why mine? She didn't answer. I agreed knowing something she did not. My soul already belonged to the girl. The beautiful girl that makes me happy beyond bliss. To have her would be a gift far more worth than a soul or two thousand souls for that matter. I would kill for her. I would die for her. Either way what bliss. The strange woman then disappeared, Never to be seen again. I returned to my chamber and again tried to go to sleep. Still I could not. I then received a phone call from her the girl in which my affection is directed. I was so happy I had already believed my bargain was being sought through. I asked why she called. She then told me of her love for him. How her every waking moment was for his bidding. I could hear my heart breaking. My breath had stopped. A single teardrop running down my cheek. I regained control over my emotions and gave her my "most sincere congratulations". I hung up the phone, and knew what must be done next. If I cannot be loved by my love, there is no reason left to live. I am damned to be alone, forever. So be it. I rummaged through my drawer and found the bottle. The bottle that could rid me of my torment, forever. If you wish to know the rest of this tale. Read "Meeting Satan". Maybe then you will understand. Meeting Satan By Don Carnage The day of my death was rather dismal. Lying in my deathbed the night of my rejection. The things I've done for her. The most beautiful being in this world of carnage and destruction we call Earth. I was so madly in love I refused to live for anything else. Except Her. If loving a taken woman is a crime, then damn me guilty! The brave do not fear the grave. After administering the cyanide to my soon-to-be-corpse, I simply waited for Namtillaku to take me to the "Land of The Dead", thinking of my wretched life. My love for her. The lack of vanity I had to persuade her to love me. All these things haunted me. As I began to hallucinate, I knew they could not torture me anymore. I remember the vivid colors and shapes. They were truly beautiful. Yet as beautiful as they were, they were still no match for her. The last thing I saw was a silver chariot racing through the wall to take me. A hooded human-shaped being reaching out to me. Then, everything blacked out. It stayed this way for an unknown time. Then, I heard fire crackling. I knew where I was. I awakened and saw red angels dancing in the flames. And a black throne some distance away. A reddish-black figure sitting in it. I had a vague idea I would wind up here. I approached the figure and asked who it was. It said, "You know who I am." He was right. I knew. I asked why I wound up here instead of purgatory. He told me I just came from there. Then I knew he was lying. Such a pain could not reside on Earth. ----- He then told me that I was doomed to pain and torture for the rest of eternity. I again knew he was lying. Nothing could be worse than my love for her. The pain of knowing that I could never have her. So I reached in my pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and asked the figure for a light. He raised his index finger and it caught fire. I puffed on my cigarette and took a nice look around. I said, " Nice Place you got here. You have an interior decorator?" He did not answer. Instead he said, " Why are you not afraid of me?" I smiled and said, "My torment is over. There is nothing you can do to make my stay here painful. For once in your prestigious existence, you don't have the power." He then smiled and raised his right hand at me. He then said, " You will know my name, as the Lord of Darkness!" Before I could reply two large reddish figures grabbed me by the shoulders. Being dragged away I yelled, " You can't hurt me, I'm already dead! No matter what pain you dispense on me I will grin in your face! And you will know my name, As Don Carnage. Master of the sad melody!" Then, the figure disappeared. Along with the black throne. Before I knew it, I had awakened to the land of the living. I was in my bed. Awakened by an alarm clock. I then realized that I never committed suicide. The bottle of cyanide was still in my dresser drawer. I then got up, changed into some clothes and went to the place where my torture resides. The place where I see her. The most beautiful being in this world of carnage and destruction we call Earth. We sat together, her and I. She smiled at me, I smiled back. In the back of my mind I knew I was in love. I also knew a love between us could never be. ------ So I continued to smile, pretend to be merry, and above all, not speak a word of my true feelings for her. And it will stay this way until I meet Satan again. Some may consider this document morbid, pathetic, Hell, even evil. But this is my testimony. "For I have seen evil, I have seen terror, I have seen the unholy maggots which feast on the remains of the human soul! But of all these things I have seen, I have never seen You!!!" : Gomez Addams: Ranting And Raving The Kiss By Don Carnage I guess you could say I'm jealous. I mean, I never knew it could happen before. Through my tough exterior I was touched. I felt it on the inside. This is somewhat strange because my innards are usually locked pretty tight. It's pretty breathtaking when you see these things happen, how you have suppressed your emotions so extremely that when you feel it's just so.. Incredible. I was watching them inadvertently behind my cool exterior. It saddened me rather deeply. They were kissing. I know what you're thinking, "How could this guy give a fuck about what's going down around him?" I mean, I remember the way I used to kiss my significant other, and I saw that and I just I felt so, alone. Outside of the circle. Normally, I wouldn't give a damn, but this time, well, It was somehow different. Suddenly, they noticed me and I casually started to walk away, whistling a tune I haven't heard in quite the long time. I kept walking. I was feeling another emotion I haven't felt in a long time, fear. I thought my exterior was cracking before my eyes. I tried to calm down but I could not. I was too lonely. All the people around me being happy with their counter-parts, If you knew how much I wanted that, you would understand my pain. Wanting what you can't have. Must be a common human psychosis. Being the ass that I am, I probably will keep this a secret. But no matter where my eyes set themselves, to a worthy vessel of my love, I will know it cannot be. For I am Don Carnage, master of the sad melody. ----------------- All I want is to not be lonely anymore. I have friends. A handful, but still Friends. Even my best friend, whose name will remain unknown, doesn't know I want this. Maybe she will, after she reads this. Now someone will read this and think they might understand what I'm going through. My only answer to this is, impossible. To know what I felt, you would have to be me. And there's only one of me. Simple Ethics. That is how I operate. Suicide now seems like a worthy vessel. I wish I knew why. To be in love with death. What a crazy thought. But this is a crazy society, with crazy people. And I don't know, nor believe, I will ever find my symbiant. For a symbiant would have to be like me. And I can never die. I am doomed to roam the earth. So what happens to me will effect me and only me. Heh heh, I guess it's my destiny. To perish alone. I think I'll keep a tighter grip on my persona from now on. Better to die like Ice. Slowly melting away. With a constant appearance of being cold. Not having to give a damn, even in death on this plane. Than to die as a poor-hearted child. Desperately trying to find his home. People tell me life is just a game. But with the current placement of my game piece, I think I'd rather resign. Take what meaning with this as you will. For my exterior is regaining control. And if you were to ask it if it were true, It would merely say, " I don't really give a damn." Do you know what its like To be loved by death? I do. To die over And over.. Again. And then wake up. It's been a while since I could look at myself straight. A single tear appears as a constant reminder. Nice Guys sleep alone. The Disease By Don Carnage I can feel it taking me as I write. The disease. The kind that makes the time you spend with its carrier seem like heaven. And the time away from the carrier that infected you somehow makes you wish you were dead. It is spreading inside me like wildfire. It has taken my heart so far. When It takes my brain, I will become a vegetable. Because the only thought I will be capable of thinking will be her. I never thought I would ever die from the inside out. It seemed impossible. I guess I was wrong. And because of my ignorant assumption I'm doomed to live the rest of my days loving a girl I can't have. Only to roam the earth for all eternity searching for something I will never find. Ahhh.. I can feel it progressing further. Where was I? Ah yes, I remember I think. See what I have to go through? I can't stop thinking about her. I can see the moon right now. I used to be amazed at how beautiful it was. But now it just seems like a distant second to her. I see her, and wish I could say something. But I can't. Logical options seem like absurd ideas to me now. I keep thinking of her smile. She makes me so happy when I am with her. No, It must be the disease talking. What shall I call this disease anyway? Maybe Cupidosis disorder. Or maybe No, I'm too lazy to think up a name. We'll just put "Died of natural causes" on my grave. Yeah, that sounds good. Ooooh guy! This thing doesn't take rest breaks does it? I heard that love kills, but never dies. I guess It's true. Because it's killin' me. That much I know. I would kill for her! I would die for her! Either way, what bliss? ----------------------------- Uhnn, I Don't think I can take it anymore. I think I'll just grab some of the Sleeping pills. Twenty should do it, right? I think so. Ah I figure If I wake up again I can always take another thirty or forty. Well, adieu world of torment. This is Don Carnage Singing off |