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Their baby will never have to face the hardships of building a new life in a new city only to drop it all at the slightest hint of danger. She will never have to live with the knowledge that she is hunted, along with everyone else she loves and holds dear. She will never know how long the road can be when there is nothing waiting for you at the other end. We have all moved every few months or weeks. I have lived in five cities, eleven towns, and two secluded backwater farms since leaving Roswell. Most of them have been in the last four years. We don't have to worry about the Skins anymore. They went back to the home planet to fight in the name of Khivar. Now we have to worry about the government. The special unit isn't dead anymore. It was reborn, like a phoenix rising from the ashes with flames so blinding and horrible that the inferior sun cowered away, leaving all the world to fend itself in eternal night. Now there are dozens of Agent Pierces tailing us, dying to sink their claws into a real live alien -- babies or no, they are still labeled dangerous in the computers at Washington. They don't realize that our children are not full-bloods, just as they didn't realize that Max, Isabel, Michael, and Tess were not full-bloods. It would not make a difference either way. It doesn't matter to the agents who or what they catch, as long as they have a body at the end of their scalpels. I miss them. Max and the others. They were my family. At least here on Earth, I can still feel Maria, Kyle, and Alex. But the others. . . I hate not knowing if they are in trouble, dying, in need of my help. I hate not knowing if Max is wounded, lying in his own filth, wasting away towards death. Or, in some ways worse, fine, in the arms of a beautiful alien woman who caresses away any thoughts or memories of who he eft behind on Earth. I hate them. I hate how they left us here with no way of contacting them, of letting them know how much we still need them. I hate how my baby has to grow up living in alleys and back lanes -- looking over her shoulder every time there is the slightest sound that could have easily been caused by the wind as it could have by a person -- because I was blessed and cursed enough to be drawn into something larger than Roswell, New Mexico by someone who could never truly be safe. I hate how Max left me to raise our daughter on my own without any defenses. But as much as I miss and hate them, I need them even more. I need them to come back and help Kyle, Maria, Alex and I out of this hell we are living in. I need Max to whisper sweet nothings at daybreak and hold me when life becomes too tough, too bold and overwhelming. I need Max. And so does she. My daughter doesn't know how to control her powers. They can and do activate themselves at any moment, in any place, without warning. We move around constantly, before the rumors surrounding her can reach the wrong person. Her hands are like two ticking time bombs just waiting to explode. She needs his guidance to learn how to control herself. Maria and Alex have the same problem with their little ones, although the twins are beginning to learn control now that they understand what is going on and recognize the power building in their fingertips. "Mommy, I'm hungry." Jillian sits up in the pick-up, staring up at me with innocent golden-brown eyes. Max's eyes. I swallow the ever-growing lump in my throat and force a cheery smile on my face. "I know, Jilly Beans. We'll eat after Mommy goes to work." Jillian picks up a ratty old teddy bear with only one arm and an eye that hangs down to it's nose that I stole from a church auction somewhere in Georgia as I go back to applying my make- up. "Harry doesn't want you to go to work. He's afraid to be left alone in the dark." I kiss Harry when my daughter holds him up for examination, as if I could see how much the stuffed animal wants me to stay. "You know I have to go to work, Honey Bear. I promise I will bring back some dinner when I'm done." With one last look in the mirror, I toss it back into the garbage it came from. I lift Jillian onto the iron fire escape attached to the building beside us. I blow her a quick kiss, which she catches in her tiny fists and places in the pocket of her overalls by her heart. Jillian climbs up the latter with practiced ease, and I watch even after she is swallowed by the darkness, until I am sure that she is hiding in a safe place. As safe as she will ever be. I rub my fingers over my temples roughly before walking out into the alley. This is what I hate most of all. Leaving my sweet, innocent little girl all alone. But I will do everything and anything to keep her safe. Because she is the only thing that makes the night bearable anymore. But it won't always be this way. When Jillian learns to control her powers -- when she's not a risk to those around her -- I will find the others. Maria, Kyle, Alex, the kids. They are still out there. We will be together again, hybrids be damned. "Hey, handsome, you looking for a good time?" The End |
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| Part 2 |