Fantinepart1

When I was younger, I used to love the night. I loved to walk
down the dark, empty streets when everyone else was sitting at
home under sixty watt bulbs and ceiling fans. I could walk
around for hours watching the light from street lamps glowing
on the asphalt, turning the black atmosphere into a ring of
gold, or staring at stars that seemed so close I could reach
out and put one under my tongue, letting it dissolve away into
my mouth like a sugar cube. I loved to bask in the beauty of
the light that could only be seen in the dark.

Now, I hate the night.

Max left me in the night. He left me and our daughter for a
planet he had never seen, to fight for a race of extra-
terrestrial people that he had know way of knowing still
existed. And with him, he took the light.

We left Roswell when I was nineteen -- only seven years ago,
but it feels like forever. Max, Maria, Michael, Isabel, Alex,
Kyle, Tess, and I walked out of our little town, always to look
back, but never able to walk her streets again. The Skins knew
where we were, wanted to kill us, would have killed us if we
had stayed. We were inexperienced and vulnerable to their
attacks. We had no choice but to run. So we grabbed as much
stuff as we could -- clothes, food, money, things that we could
pawn -- and said good-bye to our parents as if we were going
off to the movies. Little did we know that we were jumping
from the frying pan into the fire.

We never realized how much we depended on the security of our
families, the subtle guidance and advice of Sheriff Valenti,
our home town advantage. We weren't prepared for all the a
hardships of living on our own, day by day, without any
reassurance for the future. The Skins followed us closely. We
didn't know who to trust, what tactical maneuvers could save
us. If they had realized the mistakes we made, they would have
given up laughing. But they didn't know, and stalked us
relentlessly.

After a few months, and more than a few close calls, Max
decided that it would be best if we broke into pairs. One
human to one alien. More inconspicuous, more chance of being
rescued if captured. On our last day together, we formed a
connection so that we would always know when one of us was in
trouble. In case someone had to leave town before leaving a
message at designated check points. There were tears shed --
by whom I don't remember. Promises were made -- the details
long forgotten, but the point is that they were made. And then
we went our separate ways, never considering that it would be
the last time we would all see each other. Michael and Maria
went to the north, Tess and Kyle to the east, Alex and Isabel
going south, and Max and I traveled west.

I watch my daughter sleeping in the back of an old, abandoned
pick-up truck with no battery or windows, her long, dark hair
matted under her head and a dark smudge of dirt wiped across
one pudgy cheek. I kick the rubble in the alley until I
uncover a cracked rear-view mirror on top of old coffee grounds
and a piece of soggy cardboard. I pick it up and begin to
apply blood red lipstick and black mascara, ignoring the dark
bags under each eye. I could never hate my daughter for the
troubles that she has caused me. It's not her fault that she
inherited her father's other-worldly powers. She's only four.
She doesn't know what she's doing when she changes the color of
her clothes or spills candy machines all over the floor of
Walmarts and Safeways.

We all have children, despite the added danger and injustice of
having a helpless baby in our care. Michael and Maria have a
son who has never met his father. The hybrids left before he
was born. Three years, two months, five days, and today, to be
exact. Alex and Isabel have six year old twins, one boy and
one girl. It was a shock to everyone that they were the first
to have children. The mutual dependency of our situation
caused their relationship to blossom at lightning's pace. Tess
and Kyle had a daughter the same year that Max and I gave birth
to ours. Their baby only survived a few months. In a way, she
is the luckiest of us all

TBC.