time: 7:23am
listening to: "dazzle" siouxie and the banshees
woah...i just read jeremys entry for i dunno last nite or today....im in total shock.....his entry was about one of his good friends whos life is totally fuct up.....see i know this kid....and i mean i knew he was dealing with some shite...but i thought he was dealing with it u know....like well......but apparently not....apparently things r totally not what i thought...and i feel bad.....cuz i feel like i coulda helped.....i mean.....we werent close.....hell i dont even think the guy liked me....but i mean ive been there.....i know what its like to wish that every knife u see was cutting u up....when all u can think about is how much less thats gonna hurt than the pain that u feel inside.....
and i had no idea....i wish i coulda talked to him.....i mean beyond the everyday "hey how r u" shite that we did...but how do u come out and say to someone "hey i hear yer going thru some shit wanna talk?" specially when they think yer a freak u know??
and man his friends just made him worse...they spooked him.....really bad....and now his parents have pulled him outta school and taken him home....but im sure that the last thing he wants rite now is to have his parents constantly over him....making sure hes not doing anything to hurt himself....i mean even now when one of my parents sees the marx on my arms er whatever and makes a comment it pisses me off....makes me defensive....i hate having to xplain myself...and i know theyre just trying to help...but somethings have to be done to keep me here.....and thats one of them....and cuz theyre my parents and they dont want me hurt in anyway they dont get it.....
i just hope this kids ok....i really wish that i coulda talked to him....i hope he doesnt do anything crazy.....cuz i dunno...part of me thinx that its gonna be just as bad at home....and pumping drugs into someone doesnt solve it.....it helps a little....but man that poor kid.....i hope he has a good therapist...i hope the ppl around him r supportive....and not over-protective...cuz that poor kid....hes got shit hes gotta figure out and he doesnt need anymore hassles....i hope things work out fer him....i hope this doesnt fuct up the rest of his life cuz i mean hes a smart kid....hes got potential and it would be a shame if he became just another one of those ppl whos lives slipped away cuz of unresolved emotional shit....best of luck to u....and hell if u read this....any time u wanna talk about anything email me.....i may not be able to help....but ill listen....
why is life so fuct??