most incredibly unbelievable journey of my life...
I had my first baby.
He was born in Ball Memorial Hospital in Muncie, Indiana at only 28 weeks gestation...
He was a preemie...
He weighed in at 3.2 pounds.
His lungs were incredibly stiff and he could not breathe on his own.
He was put in the Special care Unit and kept on a ventilator among other life saving devices.
I couldn't pick him up and hold him...
I could only stand over him in fear and hope that he lived....
And wonder if he did live what would become of him.
The doctors painted a grim picture of his future if they painted one at all.
They said that he would surely die, but if by some chance he lived he would be profoundly retarded and need to be institutionalized.
I listened to all they had to say, but in my heart I did not hear them!
I knew for a fact that I would never institutionalize my child!
Danny was transferred to Riley Children's Hospital in Indianapolis for failure to thrive.
At Muncie he had been the only Preemie and I couldn't get over how very small he looked.
The first thing I saw upon arriving at Riley walking down the hall to the NICU... looking in as I passed a doorway...
in an isolette was a baby that probably weighed only one and a half pounds or less.
Suddenly my baby didn't seem so small and I felt a little hope for his future.
If they could help a baby so tiny as that to survive, surely they could help mine!
I couldn't believe that we were so lucky to be there and my baby was getting the best care and I didn't even have any money! Money wasn't the issue...Danny was!
Before long they put him in an isolette which,
although putting a barrier between he and I, made me feel better,
(and I know this will sound lame but...) because that's how preemies were "supposed" to be...
In isolettes...
That's how they were on TV and TV was as close as I'd ever been to this situation before!
Besides I was learning that the sickest babies were the ones on the warmer beds for easy access...
So I sort of felt he was doing better.
But the trach made it much easier for me. For the first time in his life I could go in and pick my baby up without asking or waiting for nurses to be available to help me.
He really didn't know what to think!
I did not know how absolutely cute his face was until he got his trach and I could see his cheeks for the first time without the tape for the ET tube!!
