Whenever I see those yellow trash can looking things that they put by highway guardrails, I get a craving for a Matrix-style car crash...
5.19.05
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The great thing about having people sign someone's cast is that it is a handwriting equalizer. Everyone writes like a five year old when they write on a cast.
6.20.05
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If you jump ship at the first sign of a storm, all that will happen is you'll drown alone.
6.26.05
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It's not so much that I refuse to believe in God, it's that I've come to a logical conclusion after seeing all the evidence I can.
7.21.05
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I keep seeing commercials for discount cosmetic surgery. I sincerely hope that anyone who goes in for that isn't surprised when they come out of it with a uniboob.
9.14.06
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Today I bought a bag of Sun Chips and on the bag it said:
"Great Multigrain Taste!"
I can't help but think that's like saying:
"Relaxing Sledgehammer to the Back Feeling!"
1.17.2007