journal
10.14.02 lunch
hey folks. it is almost that time. time to eat. it's funny how i sit on my ass all day doing precious little, but still get really hungry.
okay back in office and back in action. there is food coma in my head. this guy who works here, oh man, every time he talks to me, all i can think is, "why are you so annoying? why do you insist on being the most annoying person in the western hemisphere, the world, the universe? but on the outside i smile and nod. smile and nod, then slowly back away.
here is the history of my cursor: it went from boring white arrow to a california roll. then from a california roll to a corn dog. the corn dog was long lived but eventually replaced by chris kattan's head. but it was too weird to see chris kattan's head flying around my computer screen, clicking on programs and pressing the "send" button on emails. so i changed it to charlie brown's head.
10.23.02taking off the edge
here i am with my glass of red wine. i haven't been sleeping well for the last couple of weeks so i've turned to alcohol. my name is linda, i am almost twenty four years old, and i can't sleep unless i drink three sips of something slightly alcohlic.
things are much busier at work now than it was during my first week, when i spent most of my time playing with the whiteout tape and changing my cursor into various kinds of sushi, celebrities, and snack foods.
yes, it is true that i work in the fashion district. yes, it is also true that i work in the fashion divison of my company. but trust me, i am far far away from anything remotely stimulating or creative.
jane asked me today if it is my mother's birthday (i had mentioned it to her yesterday), and then i remembered that yes, it is my mother's birthday. so i picked up some roses and a cake on my way home. dad and i sang 'happy birthday' to her after dinner. and if you saw us, you might have laughed and felt kind of sad at the same time.
i'm going to sleep now. things are getting warm and fuzzy. i hate those nights when i close my eyes and open them five minutes later. but the five minutes are in actuality seven hours later. ugh. that just makes me feel so jipped, you know?
10.25.02
today is my 24th birthday. and as promised, the krispy kreme ny club sent me a postcard-cupon for a dozen free doughnuts and i felt like i found the last golden ticket to mr.wonka's chocolate factory.
so as soon as i got to penn station this morning, i walked over to krispy kreme and placed myself in the sizeable mob of people crowding the counter area. do we not do queues anymore or what? it was hard to get the k.k.lady's attention because i am short and little, and all these people kept cutting infront of me! finally i made eye-contact and ordered a dozen. half glazed and half assorted.
"do you want to pick out the assortment?" the krispy kreme lady asked.
no i didn't. surprise me, krispy kreme lady. she rang it up and i pulled out my golden ticket.
"THAT is only good for a dozen GLAZED donuts. NO ASSORTMENTS ALLOWED!" she said this about two more times, increasing her loudness. but i wasn't about to back down from getting my birthday doughnuts just because a krispy kreme oompah-loompah was *yelling* at me. i just looked her in the eyes and said, "give me a dozen glazed then." she shot me a nasty look, picked up a box of pre-packed glazed donughts, shoved it in a plastic bag, and slid it across the counter. that's right krispy kreme lady, just do your job and hand over the doughnuts.
now i'm at work and the box is sitting on my desk. i feel kind of silly about having brought doughnuts to the office. they know it's my birthday and it's kind of like, "everyone, everyone, it is my birthday! therefore, i have brought doughnuts for all of you!"
oh so some of you may also get this coupon in the mail because i signed you up. kudos to me!
10.31.02 conspiracy
the water from the water tank that sits in the hallway tastes very very odd. i would say it tastes sulfurous.
yesterday there was lots of work. lots and lots. but today there is little.
i work in the fabric department and by the back cubicles of our office, there are piles and piles of fabric. i think it would be kind of funny to go and hide under a mound of velvet and when someone asks, "hey, where did linda go?" i'd pop my head out and say, "i'm right here, under the velvet." then the person looking for me would feel kind of silly because when linda isn't at her desk, she's probably hiding under the velvet.
so you know how people ask you, "what kind of guys do you go for?" well, i'm not sure. but here the kinds of guys i wouldn't go for:
-a guy who carries a man purse
-writes bad poetry and has no shame in letting you read it
-eats like a bird
-talks too much
-calls me sweetie, baby, broad, fillie, etc
-has clammy hands
-is bad at every sport
-is stingy
-is bottom heavy
-is showing early signs of male pattern baldness
(more to come...)
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