| COLLEGE QUOTES, II |
| "Oh man, I just got pudding all over my nose." Yael ?The static electricity gives me a beard.? Jordan "My frappuccino is making noises. Make it stop." Lindsay 1/17/03 - Hadas rides in shopping cart. Placed it on heap of snow in front of the 99. Yael carries fan on head. Random Soccer Guy: ?Is your arm stuck in the chair?? Lindsay: ?No.? Random Soccer Guy: ?Yes it is! It?s stuck!? Lindsay: ?No it?s not... See?? Random Soccer Guy: ?Your other arm.? Lindsay: ?Oh, that arm. That arm is stuck.? ?I really want to hug a goose. Either that, or eat one." Abbie Lindsay: ?You look like Alanis Morisette.? Jordan: ?No I don?t.? Lindsay: ?I know... but didn?t that scare you?? Jordan: ?My friend may be coming in spring, wouldn?t that be great?? Abbie: ?Wouldn?t spring be great?? ?Maybe Australia just doesn?t exist?? Yael ?This box was made for eatin?, and that?s just what you?ll do...? Jordan ?It?s all fun and games until Lindsay gets a bad vibe.? Yael ?I really just should have talked to Michelle Gabba. Shit.? Yael Moran: ?What should I do to celebrate a month of not smoking?? Abbie: ?I don't know, have a cigarette?? Moran: ?No, I did that last week.? "They used to be cool, but now they suck!" Lindsay, on Canada ?Isn?t weird how he was dancing like he thought he was above everyone, but really he was flapping around like a dirty snow pidgeon.? Jordan ?Oh my god, Thai Kitchen, where have you been all my life?? Hadas Lindsay: ?Let me get nekked.? Jordan: ?I don?t hear that enough.? Lindsay: "Did I ask you a question?" Hadas: "I don't think so..." Lindsay: "Are you sure I didn't?" Hadas: "Fairly sure." Lindsay: "Oh. Maybe I just thought the question really hard." ?Aw. That was the nicest compliment I ever got, and it was from a cookie.? Lindsay Lindsay: ?It's time for stoned calm. Stoned calm is always good." Yael: "I know . . . even when we're not." "I shake hands with the girl so I can meet the guy standing next to her." Lindsay ?Let?s get pretty and then get shitty.? Jordan Lindsay: ?Can you take ?Lindsay Gayhead Kaplan? out of your profile? It makes me look like I?m gay and I give head.? Jordan: ?Well, I guess neither is true.? ?It just kind of sucks that the only person I got a valentine from was my RA... Who?s a lesbian.? Lindsay Lindsay: ?Guess who hasn?t called me even though he got his cell phone fixed?? Jordan: ?Guess who told me we were going to be friends, but hasn?t called me once and only talked to me online for five minutes ?cause I IMed him and then signed off mid-conversation and hasn?t talked to me since?? Yael: ?I can guess! I can guess!? Jordan: ?Irish Cream?? Yael: ?I would choose Java City House Blend over Irish Cream any day...? Jordan: ?That girl definitely has Kugal hair.? Cory: ?I would so serve her hair on a Jewish holiday.? ?I feel like the snow is hitting me like its mad at me." Jordan Lindsay: ?You are obsessed with showers!? Jordan: ?I just like them... when I'm cold... or stoned... or both.? ?Sometimes when I need to laugh, I look at my buddy icon, ?cause I forget what it looks like. Let?s look at it right now! [giggle] If I were you, I?d IM me all the time.? Yael ?Look how funny that baby?s face is!? Yael "Ugly guys do it right." Zo� ?You guys, a condom just fell on my head.? Yael ?This is the most pussy you?ve gotten in a while.? Jordan, to Bobby after Vagina Monologues Abbie: ?It smells like hot pocket.? Jordan: ?That?s what he said...? Abbie: ?This is such a loquat experience.? Zo�: ?I wish I was high...quat.? Jordan: ?They?re saggy and little.? Abbie: ?I think that the two are really mutually exclusive, Jordan.? ?Woah, my shit?s gonna come out in about six seconds... it actually just rumbled to the bottom of my ass.? Zo� Abbie: ?They have Oreo [girlscout cookies], but reverse.? Nora: ?Is that like, with the cream on the outside?? ?Let?s be productive and then be self-destructive.? Jordan ?I prefer to only get mildly stoned.? Carina, to Jay Stone. ?She's trying to get all these guys' attention, so she's like, ?I?m gonna do a keg stand, who's holding my legs?? So, these two guys each grab a leg and are like, ?1...2...3!!!? and they pick her up, only Zevit, dumbass mother fuckin ass clown Zevit, FORGETS TO PUT HER TWO HANDS ON THE KEG! So they pick her up and she falls face first on the ground.... Funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.? Jay Hadas: ?My family is foreign.? Jordan: ?Where?s your mom from?? Hadas: ?Chicago.? Hadas: ?You know you?re at Brandeis....? Yael: ?If you get more e-mail from Alwina Bennet than everyone else combined.? Jordan: ?If you live in Shapiro, work out in Shapiro, and study in Shapiro, but they?re all different buildings.? Zo�: ?If you have someone to tell you, ?Dahling! Oh, this is so good! Oh, I love this one! You have such beeyooteeful hair. Enjoy your night!? Sara: ?If you have tried to invite Jehudah to one of your parties.? Jordan: ?...and been upset when he didn?t show up.? ?My dad is Steven Tyler. Just kidding.? Yael Lindsay: "I need to Febreeze my feet." Yael: "Thats gross. You may not." Kevin: ?I?m taking Discreet Mathematics this semester.? Lindsay: ?What?s that?? Jordan: ?Sounds like mathematics on the down low.? Jan: ?Well, I hope you learned something from [Greg].? Lindsay: ?Yeah, I learned never to trust a guy farther then I can throw him.? Jordan: ?I don?t know, you probably could have thrown Greg pretty far. He was kind of small.? ?She wouldn?t know punk rock if she got stabbed by somebody?s spikey mohawk.? Jordan ?"All I want to do is fuck with her head. It's kind of exciting." Yael "Wait, it's not Pachanga, is it?" Yael, three weeks after the semester?s last Pachanga. ?It doesn?t really go with the gum.? Abbie, upon eating shrimp. ?Let's make a rule: never take cheese out of someone else's hand.? Jordan ?When did you touch eachothers? cheese?? Yael ?She is. She?s a master-beader.? Jay Cory: ?Why do you have coke in your bag?? Quinn: ?It?s my drug-purse.? Quinn: ?I want to have sex.? Cory: ?Not it.? zoball28: um get some work done zoball28: that's what i do when i can't get any JKSayz: then you should have way better grades man Cory: ?I ate eight little seeds that made me like this.? ?Ate little seeds?? ?Eight little seeds??? Lindsay: ?If I had a slice of cheese in my hands....?? Zo�: ?I would eat the fuck out of it.? ?You know what?s weird? None of us have puked in a long time...? Zo� ?I?m so stoned, I wrote a, b, c, 4.? Jordan Yael: ?We had a Karney-val in the hall? Jordan: ?Yeah, but we weren?t stoned.? Yael: ?Oh...we were...? Quinn: ?Yael, Zoe and I took a group pop-squat in the snow at that grad party, and Zoe didn?t realize it, but she put her ass in the snow.? Zo�: ?And I found gravel in my ass--the next morning, motherfucker!? Lindsay: ?I?m going for the ripped up gross look today. Can I pull it off?? Hadas: ?Yeah, especially the gross part.? Jordan: ?So what's up, Quinn?? Quinn: ?What's up is that I'm giving mean looks to everyone and I can't control it!? ?Oh man, I can?t even hit an egg right.? Zo� Lindsay: ?Troy has a date with destiny.? Jordan: ?I knew a girl named Destiny.? Lindsay: ?Was she a stripper?? Jordan: ?No, she was a slut.? Abbie: ?So, I guess you could say a lot of guys had a date with destiny.? Lindsay: ?Wanna spoon?? Hadas: ?No, I need a man.? Abbie: ?Lindsay is kind of manish. Be careful, she might try to get fresh with you.? zoball28: man that shit stank zoball28: i didn't think it was gonna be that bad zoball28: at first i thought mayeb no one would even notice Lindsay: ?What happen if you take too much Advil--? Phil: ?Pregnant.? Phil: ?I?m so glad I?m a guy.? Jordan: ?Me too, because you?d be an ugly, ugly woman.? ?Jay?s transferring? I knew he was too pretty for Brandeis." Abbie Lindsay: ?Do you have a pool?? Troy: ?No, I have a lake.? Lindsay: ?What?s it called?? Troy: ?Phillips Lake.? Zoe: ?HA! Then it?s not yours, is it, liar.? ?There?s the frozen yogurt sign, although that is clearly only a brick wall.? Lindsay ?I have a ring with a mirror on it because I'm vain, not to do coke off it.? Quinn "Me a crackhead? Ha! Like I have that kind of money!" Lindsay |
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