Is there anything more satisfying than tossing around hypothetical band names when you don't even play an instrument? Sure, naming a band Meat Sauce and the Mexico Cities is worth a laugh or two, but naming a band isn�t all fun and games. At least, if you're the band formerly known as Red Shift, it most likely wasn't.
A name can either make or break a band. It can attract an audience, repel would-be listeners, or even become a pop culture joke. Where would the Beatles have gone if they hadn't replaced an ''e'' with that deviously dorky ''a''? Who still listens to Hootie and the Blowfish without making a crack about.... fish?
Naming a band is harder than it sounds. For some groups, titling their sound is more difficult than writing the music. After all, they're paid to play, and band naming is an art that not all musicians excel in. String Cheese Incident might know how to jam, but I fear for their future chidren's names.
Don't be fooled, some bands' names can be misleading. Contrary to popular belief, 10,000 Maniacs isn't Natalie Merchant backed by 9,999 lunatics prancing around with tambourines. I know, I kept a close count the last time I saw the video for ''Because the Night'' on MTV some time back in 1995. Plus, Ben Folds Five only had three members-- thank god he went solo. I'm also fairly positive that Blue Oyster Cult wasn't an actual cult, unless you count the na�ve throngs of groupies really grooving on that Reaper business.
Bare Naked Ladies are just a bunch of poorly dressed guys, but the Flaming Lips really are flaming. Just kidding.
Some bands decide to call themselves profound philosophical phrases, such as Sublime, Nirvana or Guns n' Roses. Others decide to call themselves Jimmy's Chicken Shack and curse the music gods when they realize they're never going to get back on the charts after one catchy tune hit 46 on the charts three years ago. Sure, the Butthole Surfers managed to make it, but I'm fairly positive they would have sold more records if they had called themselves something a little less anally west coast.
Lot's of groups out there name their band after something personal. Who knew Eddie Vedder's grandmother, Pearl, made great grape jelly?
I dont mind saying Red Hot Chili Peppers or Stone Temple Pilots, though they are a mouthful. What really gets to me are those bands with such small names. U2, Us3, Aha, Yes, Who, TLC, REM, I could go on and on. Nothing is more insulting to the listeners than assuming they need to refer to the band by initials. REM claims the letters stand for baseball big shot Roger Edgar Maris, but who knows they didn't just say that once someone commented on how lame it is to name a band after a phrase learned in Psych class?
Did you know some obnoxious band that your parents probably still listen to actually named themselves The Band? THE. BAND. Who nominated them band of all bands? That was slightly presumptuous of them.
Naming a band says a lot about who you are. No one wants to name their band after some idea their friend's cousin thought of when he was stoned. No matter how good it might be, it needs to be that je-ne-sais-quoi that represents the bands thoughts and who they are as a group. It has to match the type of sound, and it has to be catchy. It has to be something worth reading on a CD, and well placed on your mp3 list.
The idea has to come from the entire band and it needs all each member'� stamp of approval. Just because the drummer think a name like Meatsauce and the Mexico Cities sounds awesome, it doesn't mean the singer and the bass player want it.
But if it helps, it's got my stamp of approval.
The Justice, under the name "Touche'" on October 14, 2003
Back to Lindsay