DON'T tell me you know how I feel. No one knows how anyone else feels. Two people with the same disease may feel totally different. We all have varying thresholds of pain, and pain cannot be measured.
DON'T tell me about your great-aunt and her arthritis, and how well she managed in spite of it. I am not your aunt, and I am doing my best.
DON'T tell me, "It could be worse." Yes, it could be, but I don't need to be reminded.
DON'T decide what I am capable of doing. Arthritis doesn't affect the brain. Allow me to decide what activities I can participate in. There may be times I might make the wrong decision, and if I do, I'll know it soon enough.
DON'T be upset that you cannot ease my pain.
It won't do any good for both of us to be miserable.
DON'T ask me how I feel unless you really want to know. You may hear a lot more than you are prepared to listen to.
DON'T assume because I did a certain activity yesterday that I can do it today. Arthritis is ever-changing.
DON'T tell me about the latest fad "cure". I want to be cured more than anything, and if there is a legitimate cure out there, my doctor will let me know.
DO realize I am angry and frustrated with the disease, not with you.
DO let me know you are available to help me when I ask. I'll be grateful.
DO offer me lots of hugs and encouragement.
DO understand why I cancel plans at the last minute. I never know from one day to the next how I will feel.
DO continue to invite me to all the activities. Just because I am not able to bike ride along with the gang does not mean I can't meet you for the picnic at the end of the trail. Please let me decide.
It would be nice if the world were a more compassionate and caring place and hope this article will alert others accordingly.
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