His once companion disappeared among a sea of family and friends, frolicking, grooming, purring contentedly.
It should not have disturbed Graham to see this. He used to eat these animals! He should not feel a sense of loss as it reunited with its kin. This is where it should be...
Yet he could not deny the wetness on his face, the leaking from his eyes that he knew were tears. He had been abandoned by a lowly creature! He had been forgotten! Just like that! Just as Tiara--....
"Graham?"
He whirled, a growl in his throat. "You did this. You created this scene to torment me! You knew how this would affect me!"
"And why is it affecting you?" the Blue Woman asked gently, still not visible but present none-the-less.
"Because it hurts inside!"
"Why?"
"I don't know! It hurts! That is all I know!"
"You hurt when you think of Tiara. Why? It is not because you are away from her. If she felt anything for you, such might be justified, but she clearly did not or she would have brought you back and kept you with her. It is likely within her power to do so. She has abandoned you. Say it, Graham."
"No."
"Say it." Her voice turned sharp as broken glass.
"NO!" Graham screamed, even though the Blue Woman was only voicing his inner fears. It didn't matter. He'd deny it every chance. Pushing past her calls to stop, he wanted OUT!
The earth shook once more, the exit showering rubble and rock to block his path.
"You will stay until you say it."
Oh, at that moment, he felt the same rage as would normally be reserved for the damnable Kagetsu. Yet even with the Blue Woman here, he could not touch her! Incredible fury and frustration combined into a great force which he had to vent somehow. Graham swept both arms out in front of him, preparing to attack the rock itself. Before he ever touched it, the rock fled in a great explosion from his wrath. As if fearing his anger...
Graham stared, in awe, at the power displayed. Focused rage... He had caused the rock to burst away because of his anger? He looked in the direction of the Blue Woman.
She was there, in plain view, and staring in equal astonishment at his feat.
Without a word further, he continued out of the passage.
His problem came when he emerged at the cave entrance. The shear drop was a great dilemma. The children had removed their floating platform of earth as well as their presence from the area. He had no way up again.
Well. If he was capable of moving the rock here, and they were essentially the same as he, then he should be able to do similar things as they.
Graham thought his reasoning sound. He thought on a goal, summed up every bit of anger and will and focused it on his goal. He would make his own stairway up!
He felt the ground shake but felt satisfaction instead of fear. The rock moved at his command! It was exhiliarating! But, though the stone moved at his command, its placement was erratic and chunks flew everywhere! Out of control, they smashed about as if possessed. He could not make it stop! Ducking a boulder intent on crashing in his skull, he was pummelled from behind by a second, and then another, unseen.
And then, all movement froze. Opening his eye on a groan, Graham was amazed to see stone, boulder, pebble, even dust grains immobile idly in the air. The Blue Woman glided out, past Graham, and over the edge. As she moved past, the rock once more became one with the cave, where it was meant to be.
"Absurd." she scoffed. "You have not been here long enough to understand the inner workings of this environment."
In one single instant, he was no longer in the cave but found himself in the bed of the open air room he'd occupied for the last few days. Hurting from his encounter with the unwieldy rock, he did not complain of the gentle transfer.
He did not know how but the Blue Woman was able to force him into sleep whenever she wished. She was willing it right now and he fought it as best he could. He'd learned much today and wanted to dwell on that before sleep could cloud it over. He could control some things here. He only needed practice to hone such an ability. And he had learned he could surprise those who controlled here. They were not all-knowning. That in particular the Blue Woman seemed keen to rub out of his mind...
"It has already learned that?" Five drew back in alarm from Two's findings.
"It is progressing at the same pace as Yord. We must be cautious. If it were to escape with such knowledge..." Two trailed off.
"It will not. That is part of our task. Yord was not our fault. We have not failed yet, and we will not now." One was keen on this point.
"But the fact remains," Three interjected. "that it knows it can use its environment. It knows Two's subtlety of manipulation. It knows a bit too much for my liking."
"Be calm. It is of no danger yet. And if it were, we would have to reveal ourselves to smother it out, so let us first examine the situation carefully before proceeding." Settling the matter was generally Four's concern, which was always handled smoothly. Even with such a rising situation.
"You must see it." Two tried. "That perhaps the others should be brought in to sway this firesome creature. It burns like no other. I cannot extinguish its flame alone."
"You underestimate yourself." Four said, eyeing Two with a sense of a smile. "No. You must handle it alone, as you started. To allow it near the others would prove... disagreeable... for all."
"This creature is a possible danger, correct? Can we not extinguish it completely? There are many ways to siphon off subtle amounts until it is too weak to protest. In doing so, we would take back what it is claiming from us. Even as we converse here, it is removing, separating, pulling from us! How can it be allowed?" Five was all but pacing, distraught to learn that such a simple method was not yet utilized on what they should all perceive as a threat.
"We cannot. It is beyond us."
"Beyond our will and morals, or beyond our control?" Five countered One's response.
"Beyond both."
Three was gradually leaning toward Five's side of the matter. "The point is no longer ethical. We can still stop it, now. I feel that we should."
Four regarded the others calmly. "You are wrong. We cannot prevent what is happening. Only Two has the ability to mold the outcome, which is a hard task in itself. We can assist no further than offering our advice. If it were to meet with us directly..."
"Surely it is not capable of that." Three would not believe it.
Again, Four's calm regard fell on Three, and said nothing further.
"But it clings so fiercely. How am I to undo that?" Two asked Four.
Who offered a remnant of a smile. "By giving it something else to cling to of couse."
He was not given to dreams. Not at home, nor on the Guardian Worlds. It was probably for the best, as dreams often mirrored troubles, concerns, and other woes. It was difficult enough confronting such things awake. To have them during sleep, too, would be beyond wearying.
Graham woke with such a thought, to a day of sun and happy birds, and nothing else. Not even the Blue Woman. He lay for a while, contemplating many things, remembering the previous day's accomplishments, and resting a very sore back. No real damage. Was the Blue Woman angry at his attempts? If this were true, he should be prepared for some fitting punishment. He was in fact expecting her to appear to deliver just such a sentence when the familiar darting body of the friendly mitchuu raced up to the bed. It scurried up the sheets and, with a great yawn, snuggled in against his body before curling up for sleep.
Graham stared and stared at the thing. It had returned. Left family and friends to be with him. He had nothing to offer. No food, shelter, protection. Warmth? Not needed in light of the perfect weather. What did it cherish so in his company? Still and all, it had come back. He could not help a little smile at the wonder of it. In the end, it had chosen him.
The rock slid from his fingers yet again. Graham growled in frustration. Why couldn't he do it?? Those false children had been floating pebbles and rocks all morning. Taunting him, he suspected, as he could not levitate even grains of sand.
One of them broke away from the others and came to stare at his progress.
"Leave me be." he scowled at it warningly.
"What are you doing?"
Startled at first, for he did not think them capable of speaking, Graham gave the child a second look. She seemed just like the others. Blonde hair and coal laughing eyes. But there was something... different. Familiar.
The mitchuu came right up to her, rubbing at her legs.
Graham frowned, reached toward the girl. His hand passed through her.
"Are we all ghosts here? Chained to dwell an eternity in this place?"
She giggled, bent down to pet the friendly mitchuu. "We're not ghosts."
"Phantoms then. Illusions? A dream?"
At each suggestion, her blond locks shook with her head.
"But you know what this place is. Tell me... Please?"
Her head shook again, still smiling. "You'll know, when it's time."
"When it's time? What of now? What am I to do with the time now?" He stood, and the girl backed quickly away.
"You can... play with me."
Graham stared at her, threw a look at the other false children. Oblivious. This child was very different than the others. He could see, feel, such a difference, though there was nothing physical that separated her from the other ones. But... She seemed a bit... afraid. Of him. Tried to hide it, too. "Play?"
"There are many games." she interjected quickly.
"What is your name?"
"We could tell stories!" She again tried to brush him off topic. He would not be moved.
"Your name." he insisted.
Pause, indecision, internal debate. Not the face of a child but a compromised adult. Graham waited, seeing this.
"I'm... Yellow."
"Yellow?"
"That's my name, like yours was given to you. Before."
Yes, his name had been a gift from Tiara, as had this body. He closed his eye, heard her call his name-- a memory. A very fond memory.
"Graham."
He couldn't help it. The child sounded too close, too like Tiara. Mocking... Alarm provoking action, his hand split and struck out all but of its own. And he hit her. Knocked her right to the ground. And she looked very frightened. She disappeared the next instant.
"No! I didn't mean it! I'm sorry. Please come back! I--... I...." What was wrong with him?! Striking one of the false children should not bring sudden tears and guilt! Ridiculous! He shoved at such feelings, but they did linger. It happened right after he hit her. A flood of guilt, of great compassion. Never had he felt such a thing. All from hitting--
No. Not because he'd struck her. Because he'd touched her.
Knowing the Blue Woman could hear thoughts, he locked that one up in a secret place, well out of mindsight. He didn't want her to know. Not before testing his theory.
Two had sought out that portion of Four kept away from the others and reserved for private conversings and was now all but flying about, anxiety not easilly calmed. "How? How am I to get closer if it will not drop its hold of the Summoner? Did you see what it did?!" What it took, actually. As Two had fear now from the brief contact, so, too, did it take part of Two. Did it know? The question plagued...
Four gave the impression of a nod.
Two would have paced incessantly if still tangible. As it was, the entity dispersed and reformed in aggitation repeatedly until Four forced a sigh of wisdom to cover over the distraught Two's ample ranting.
"The fuss is understandable. Yes, we all saw. I admit it is creating quite a stir."
There was something in the manner of Four's speaking that disturbed her. Had... had this all been expected? "It is only a matter of time before it learns the truth and that is something to heavilly consider. But you've known this from its arrival. You have known its potential all along."
"'It' has a name you know well." Four's attention shot out, kept Two firmly in sight.
Two squirmed slightly under the scrutiny. "I know it is what we do, and I know this is against my station, but do you really believe there's still hope in severing Graham? It is such a fierce thing."
"Do not be frightened. You were doing well. It is needing time to adjust, but when that time is up, we will all see a difference. However, it does tend to plow ahead in wrong directions. It must be gently turned on a better path. Proceed."
With great reluctance, Two slipped from Four's open grasp. It was difficult. There was fear to deal with; of Graham, of what Graham was capable of, and of not being able to do the job alloted. But Two collected, calmed, selected a place, and became Yellow once more.
It was easier than first anticipated. Two had not been paying as much attention before. Yes. That is when the error occurred. Graham could not be forced any longer.
He couldn't help watching the false children at play in the grass. She wasn't among them.
He worried. Had he hurt Yellow? Where had she gone? It was foolishness, and no doubt had nothing to do with getting back to Tiara, but he could not keep such wonderings away. If he had in any way harmed her, he would beat himself!...
Graham clutched at his head. Was he going mad? He thought he'd gone mad once, until Tiara showed him the reality of her world. So terrified he'd been, having known nothing of other places and worlds and people. A bit stupid, really. No it wasn't ! More foreign thoughts!
Graham smashed a fist into the grassy earth. Someone else's thoughts they might be but they were in his head and he could not stop hearing and feeling them!
The shuffing of feet through grass alerted him. His eye tracked the movement of little Yellow's timid step as she came near.
"I didn't mean to hit you." The words were out of his mouth before he could think. "I'm sorry." And he truly was.
She didn't say anything at first. She seemed... sad.
"What's wrong?"
With pleading eyes, she asked, "Will you play with me?"
She would ask again, after he'd caused her hurt? Truly, Graham did not know children's games and thought himself incapable of providing any fun. "Why not play with them?" he offered, still feeling a great need to comfort or cheer her.
"I wanna play with you." And she sat just an arm's reach away.
"I... I don't play well."
Yellow brightened some. "I can teach you. If you want..."
Graham did not think on it long. "Yes. I would like to learn."
Graham crouched and sprung up, leaping quite far and well in the center of the drawn circle. A feral grin of pride leaked out.
Never had a game of hopper before looked so scary but Yellow laughed and laughed as she taught Graham how to play and was able to even coax a chuckle out of him. He began to forget that nothing here was real and saw her only as the child she appeared to be. Part of it was his realization. That is what made her different from the other false children. She behaved like a child. They, those spectres, did not.
"It is your turn." he reminded, pointing out her own circle he'd drawn. It was within bare steps of her.
Yellow tucked in her arms, bent her knees, and... Hop!... Missed it by a few inches. Her face drew sad lines.
"Try again. You can do it." She needed encouragement at the moment. That was all Graham saw and thought.
She did, bending her knees more and taking a great leap, for a human creature with very little strength. She missed it again and sighed.
Graham glanced from the absurd distance he could easily manage, roughly twelve yards, and back to the few feet separating Yellow from her goal.
"It can be done. You must try harder." he told her gently.
Yellow paused. "How far can you jump, Graham?"
He'd told her his name upon being asked.
"Very far. You try now. Again. I think you can make it. Try it like this." He crouched like the animal he once was, knowing the form of motion would produce similar results, as it would for her.
She went nearly to all fours, like a little frog, and ... Hop! Into the circle she went! Laughing and clapping, she ran in circles until she fell over, still laughing.
Graham had to smile. He was, in a way, proud of her, too.
"You have done very well."
"Superb handling."
"Well done."
"Excellent!" were the commendations of the others.
The modesty of Two's station forbade response.
"So we may each begin soon." Five assumed, gluttony and eagerness swirling the assumption in dark greasy colors.
"No."
"Why not?" Pouting, Five turned Four's way.
"Not yet."
"I do not see why time should matter. It is calm now, illusioned. Docile!"
"Imbecile." Three huffed, rolling unseen eyes. "It is not docile."
"But it is calm. Two has succeeded." One added.
Four retained all attention. "That is true, but we must all still remain cautious. Do not forget, ever, your purpose here, nor that it has started making sense of its environment, and us. It has already surpassed every previous entrant as far as time acclimation. We must be wary still, and not forget Yord throughout."
They agreed equally and fervently. Five perhaps too fervently.
Graham no longer measured his time here. It was unnoticeable anyway. Unimportant. What mattered was how he started each day. And ended it.
The start involved meeting Yellow on the highest hill around. Then end, when she must go each evening. It was on one such evening that he could not keep his loneliness at bay. He was missing... something. It plagued him at night, in sleep, during non-dreams... All the time, something gone forgotten. He could ignore it no longer. And so he longed for someone to talk to, for Yellow to come. She did not. The children were not seen at night. They faded with the setting sun and returned with its first new rays.
"Where do you go, Yellow? Where are you now?" he found himself saying aloud. His mind must be wandering too much. So much had gone fuzzy. But still the matter plagued him! Something... missing. Always missing. No petting of the soft mitchuu nor the full joy of Yellow's company could dispel it as it grew.
He stood. "Yellow??" Called without care that he was mad for doing so. She could not possibly hear him.
"Graham?"
He whirled. There was little Yellow, same as ever. "You came..."
"You called me."
"I didn't know I could. You could hear me, from... wherever you go?"
She gave him a child's condescending lop-sided smile. "Yer very loud."
"Oh..."
"Why'd you need me? I hafta go to bed."
"I..." What was he to say? He longed for company? Anything to ease the buzzing of something missing. "Tell me a story. Like the one before."
She appeared to consider it briefly. "Okay. Lay down an' I'll tell you a story. But then I gotta go to bed."
"Why? You could sleep here. There is plenty of space."
"No, silly! I can't sleep here." she grinned.
"Why not?"
"Because my... my momma would get upset if I wasn't in bed when she comes to wake me."
Oh, that changed everything. The night grew just a bit darker, the air a bit cooler, the sheets softer, his breath and heart and being that much more noticeable. Because with her words, he could again see.
"Your... mother? Mother??" He had forgotten for too long about the Blue Woman, who was always watching, and the place that was not real where he could not escape. Breath quickening, he backed away from the false girl. "Where am I? Tell me now!" he demanded, frightened. He had forgotten much. How had it all gotten so clouded in his head?!
"Graham, don't be afraid. Please don't be afraid! I get scared, too..."
"Afraid of me! Do not deny it! I have seen it, touched it!" And then he had a second revelation. A control... "If you do not tell me, Yellow, I will grab you and force you to. You know I can."
"Yes." Her head sagged. "We are all trapped here, inside of you, until you choose to emerge. Farewell, Graham..."
"Yellow, wait!!"
But she had disappeared as if the dawn mist fleeing the sun.
"Wait! Come back! Don't leave!!"
No matter his calls, his cries, no one came. She was gone and he feared his returned memories meant she would never be seen again for, despite himself, despite where he was and whatever she is, he missed her presence, her company, and felt himself torn by hidden treachery and miserable doubt.
There could be no sleep for him tonight. No rest. Moments ago, his new residence had seemed so natural. Now it was a cage from which he could not leave fast enough. Graham's whole being screamed a thousand things at once and he tore off into the night, tearing up grass with clawed feet in his mad dash. But there was no escape from inner demons and tormenting emotions. He roared at the sky, unable to express his feelings any other way. He denied to himself that he wished he hadn't remembered, that he wished for the simple life again. It was wrong!
"Tiara! Help me!!" he screamed. "Why won't you come for me?! TIARAAA!!"
Graham threw a desperate hand up to the sky, beseeching, pleading, pityable.
His eye closed, he did not see the grand ripple his thrown emotions sent through the visible environment.
There was no answer. Tiara had not summoned him back. She hadn't--....! Didn't she--...? He smacked the thoughts down each time they tried to stir. Denied every answer, Graham could not but weep, again a frightened creature. Lost. So very lost...
A bright flashing stilled his breath. His eye flew open, scanned the sky. A single bright star was descending gently, twinkling as if to gain his notice. He backed away, though it followed. Just slowly.
I mean no harm. it seemed to say.
Such had a calming effect. Graham gave pause and regarded the star, which was no bigger than his hand at a closer look.
I can take your pain away. I can help you through such terrible times. Please let me help?
Such a gentle voice... Graham relaxed. He was tired. "Hel... help me? How?"
Just close your eyeeeeessss. the star's voice lulled incessantly. Graham could not stay upright. Still half-conscious, as the tiny spark of fear remaining kept him aware, he saw the star spread its light out. It did not touch him but he felt... something... draw near, and he saw... something... in the body of the dispersed star. It was all he could do to keep his eye open, so he could not think of what such a thing it was inside the star...
They all waited, pensive. None said anything, as it was plainly clear. Five's form was smudged and slightly shimmery and they could not have done more to prevent it...
"Must we wait until Five has finished?" Such a violation! Three was a bit shocked that one of their own would act in this manner. Attempting a bend and a drain out of turn, as well as without consultation. No, it was more than that. Five had been warned not to do so, and yet had gone ahead anyway.
"We can do no more." Four replied, sounding less sure than usual.
This in itself frightened the other three. Two held any voice, having no further say, knowing who the failure truly belonged to. Perhaps, which had been previously thought, the fact that Graham had made contact with the form of Yellow hadn't affected them as much as one would think but no. Two had a part of Graham, as he had gained something also from the contact. Such was the way here for him, and so they. With that part missing, it was much harder for him to adapt, to accept, to change. Hence his explosion. Already a firey personality, and unpredictable, now Graham was very dangerous. Two did not blame Five for acting, only for not consulting the others a final time. Now?
Now they could do not but wait and see if Five would indeed be successful in reclamation, in making Graham forget, in gently syphoning off such harsh yet flavorful emotions which did often and very well serve as nourishment for them. If Five would be able to salvage what Two had lost... Or a much worse fate.
They watched on, Graham slipping.
From Two's seat of compassion, it was a wish never to cause him pain from remembering but to help him past it. And Two had failed.
And so they watched on, silent, pensive.
The tricky part about a drain was staying focused. Five knew this, had no doubt it could be done successfully, and proceeded thus.
The life energies, the emotions, the will. All could be pulled at until little trails flowed freely and effortlessly to Five. The creature would feel nothing of course, and it was not the intention to destroy Graham. Just subdue the creature until they could plot a new course. Clearly, Two's direction wasn't working. And yet, Five saw that progress which had been made. Carefully selected it and placed it back within Graham each time it got sucked to Five. It was only the strong harsh things that would be taken out; and, oh, did it have many!
Distracting. Memories, feelings, tortures, joys. And so much negativity. This Five found most edible. But could it not be pulled just a bit faster? Desire clouding judgement, that is precisely what Five did. Just a little more. Graham had plenty. He was always fighting, always knotted up. That's what it looked like, deep anger and fear and struggle. Like a bunch of smudgy-muss knots. As Five untangled them faster and absorbed more of Graham, the desire, the craving for just a bit more intensified. Surely with so much, Five could remove a bit for later...