| The, for some reason, inspiring light of the computer. And my mind finally giving me a break. Trying to figure out personalities... why people clash or click. It's all about the minds being in similar places. Travelling minds...moving through the same canvas. Some are in the same place. Some are somewhere you recognize... a place you've seen before. Some are in a place you haven't seen before. And when you sence that this is a place you'd like to see, that's my definition of being drawn to somebody. It's all about evolution...expansion of the mind. Waves of self esteem. sometimes up, sometimes down, but always out of context.Any sence of self worth is always out of context. You can't see yourself crearly when you're clinging on to it. That's when you have selective view. And then you have the person that comes in and shakes you up. The person that never stops shaking you up. THe person that doesn't even move you. The times when you're on...the times when you're centered. The times when you give off your centre to somebody else... It's easy being alone...there's no question where the centre is then. But today my energy goes out in too many directions. I want it with me. I want to love with no dependance. I want to care with no attatchments. I want to give without taking. I want to open up but my heart doesn't want to. My mind won't let me.My personality betrays me.On the verge of breaking through but not quite there yet.Or maybe a better way to put it is: seeing what it is that's to be broken through but not being able to jump through it just yet. A too rigid personality starts clashing with a too big heart sooner or later. A big heart that just wants to let evrybody in. Personality that just wants to hold on to what it thinks it is.what it thinks it wants to be. Can't riesk to let anyone in that's going to show it what it doesn't want to see. Something hurts and i don't know what it is. Something stings and i don't know how to get rid of it. I promise I'll practice breaking my wall down... For next time. |
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