Arts 'N Crass
Lawndale High is holding an art contest themed "Student Life at the Dawn of the New Millenium." Ms. Defoe talks Jane into participating. She and Daria decide that the poster doesn't have to have a positive meaning, so they choose the theme of a beautiful girl gazing into a mirror, with a poem below stating "She knows she's a winner. She couldn't be thinner; so she goes to the bathroom and vomits up dinner." Ms. Defoe is dissapointed until Daria and Jane explain that the poster is designed to shock the reader into paying attention to the real message: Just because someone is beautiful doesn't mean they're happy. That hapiness may come at a price. Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill change the poem, and when Daria and Jane dissaprove, they put it in the contest anyway. Daria and Jane deface the poster at the showing, and Ms. Li calls Helen and tells her, and Helen basically threatens a lawsuit. And then Brittany and her airhead poster win.
Several teachers take the students on a field trip to teach them about Guerilla warfare, and Ms. Li and the Mr. and Mrs. Morgendorffer tag along. They divide up into teams, Daria and Jane on seperate teams. Daria is bored, as is Jane. Brittany has a knack for warfare, as well as karate, and she shoots Kevin and attacks Mr. DeMartino. Ms. Barch is impressed and proud. People end up hiding out in tents when the rain picks up, with Jake sharing one with DeMartino, getting drunk and sharing Military School stories, and Helen and Ms. Li sharing one and talking about the women's movement, ending up arguing. Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill share a tent, and when Ms. Barch realizes that Mr. O'Neill is very sensitive and encouraging, she tackles him and they start making out. Daria and Jake skip out and go to a tourist trap called Great White, which turns out to be a tooth and a lady who steals the plot of Jaws for her story. Most of the teenagers hide out in a building called Hanoi Hilton, and Sandi ends up leaving, looking for a bathroom. Quinn, Stacy, and Tiffany break their pact not to shoot one another by shooting Sandi, thinking she's Daria. In the end Sandi gets left behind, and the Jake and Helen's distributor cap is stolen from their car.
Quinn, having low grades in English, is forced to do an essay. After her slip of tongue, Daria refuses to do it for her, for any amount of money, so she has to blow off her date and do it herself. The title of her essay is "Academic Imprisonment," and it compares school to a prison, and the students to hamsters on exercise wheels, wanting food, but "only more homework awaits." The essay gets an A, and is a hit, and even makes it into the school paper. So Quinn gets it into her head (with a prompting from Jane and Daria) that she is a brain. Rather than go back to airhead as Daria had hoped, she decides to play on this some more, wearing all black and writing poetry. She even blows off more dates, and is put on Sabbatical by the Fashion Club. All of this is depressing Daria, who has lost her identity to her little sister. After a talk with Jane, Daria reveals that she knows how to get her identity back. "I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Until now." She talks to Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie, then goes home and dresses up like Quinn, even putting on makeup. Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie show up, claiming to be Daria's dates. The Daria walks by Quinn's room, ties her shoes, and says "Hi Quinn. Well, I'm off for my dates," counts to three, and Quinn runs out, saying "Fine! You win!"