Title:  THE FIRST

Author: Imagine

Feedback: on list or [email protected]

Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/limagine647

Rating: R

Pairing: J/D

Category:   Slash.  Drama.  Romance.

Date:   12th March 2006

Status: Complete

Season/Spoilers:  Four.  The First Ones.

Archive: AlphaGate; Area 52; The Cartouche. Anyone else please ask.

 

Synopsis:   Daniel is grieving the loss of a friend as Jack accepts guilt for his culpability - this hardly seems the time for revelations

 

Notes:  This wabbit for this came from my Beta, Gateroller - cheers hun!

 

Warnings:  Canon character death.

 

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The First

by Imagine

 

 

Standing quietly in the doorway to Daniel's office, Jack is little more than a silhouette in the light from the hallway.   He's tried to stay away, thinking to leave his friend to mourn in private but he can't keep away.  His feelings led him here of their own volition and now he stares at his friend's bowed head wishing he didn’t have to go inside and explain what happened, admit his culpability.  At the same time he wants nothing else but to comfort an obviously grieving Daniel.  The odds are, of course, that he's the last person Daniel wants to see.

 

Taking a deep breath, he steps inside, closing the door behind him.

 

Daniel looks up then, pain filling those expressive eyes and Jack sees that he's been reading Rothman's notes from their joint dig.  Before Jack is even aware of moving he crosses the intervening space and grabs Daniel, pulling him into his arms trying to comfort him.

 

Daniel is shaking with emotion, hanging on tight to Jack's shirt and the colonel tightens his hold.

 

"I'm sorry.  I know what a friend he was to you.  I wish it could've gone down differently, but....  There was nothing else I could do.  We don't even know how long he'd been a Goa'uld.  He'd already shot one man, I couldn't let...I'm so sorry, Daniel, so sorry."

 

Daniel stirs in his arms but doesn't pull away.  "Don't, Jack, please.  I know you had no choice.  I'm sorry too; sorry you had to do that.  I know how hard that must've been for you."

 

Jack can’t ever tell Daniel how much it means to hear him say those words.

 

"I feel responsible too."  Daniel's still speaking and Jack frowns at his words. 

 

"You?" Jack murmurs.

 

"It should never have happened.  I should have been able to do something to help him...warn him or something.  I came so close to it myself, yet I managed..."

 

"What?  Getting snaked?" Jack is horrified. "You didn't mention that in the debriefing."

 

"Well, after I heard about Robert it seemed... I'm putting it in the written report.  I actually swam the lake trying to escape Chaka and then he saved me when one of them leapt out of the water at me."

 

Jack's heart beat a tattoo against his ribs.  Danny a host! That was one of his worst nightmares and automatically he pulls Daniel close against him again.

 

Daniel relaxes into the strong arms holding him, feeling safe and then it hits him who is holding him, and that he's snuggling against Jack.  Suddenly feeling awkward he pulls away, and Jack, momentarily hurt, thinking that he has misjudged the situation, quickly lets go, though he's unable to stop his touch lingering on Daniel's arm as he does so.

 

Quietly, he says, "I'm sorry, Daniel.  You know where to find me if you change your mind."  Then he turns and leaves.

 

Frowning, Daniel is confused by Jack's meaning.  In case he changes his mind about what?  And why did he leave so abruptly?  They were talking about Robert, how sorry Jack was, how sorry they both were about what happened; when had the subject changed and to what?  The more Daniel thinks about it the less sense it makes.

 

After a few minutes of pointless supposition he decides to return to his work.  He has enough translations waiting to keep him busy for weeks.  It will help to take his mind off Robert -- and Jack.

 

Sometime later, he lifts tired eyes from the too-small print and reaches for his coffee.  The mug is empty and he remembers draining the pot when filling the cup last time.  He stretches stiff muscles, not surprised to see it's almost three in the morning.  There is no point going home, though Jack would be annoyed to know he’s pulling another all-nighter. 

 

On the way to the commissary to refill his coffee pot, he passes Jack's office and is surprised to see a dim light shining underneath the door and abruptly the conversation from earlier comes back to him.  Deciding on the spur of the moment, he taps gently and waits, hearing Jack grunt, "Enter."

 

Daniel walks in to find Jack lying on his back on his day bed, one arm flung over his eyes.  Jack doesn't move straight away, but his breath hitches and Daniel wonders what is wrong as he moves closer.

 

When Jack slowly moves his arm, Daniel sees that there is moisture around his eyes.  He leans forward concerned for his friend; he can't remember ever seeing him so vulnerable before and it tugs at him.

 

Without warning, Jack snakes his arm around Daniel's neck and draws him into a tentative kiss.

 

Daniel gasps in surprise, pulling away, his heart beating so fast in his chest.  "I just came to ask what you meant about me changing my mind, Jack.  I didn't expect this."

 

Sitting bolt upright and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Jack stands and moves past the confused archaeologist, opening the door to his office.  "It doesn't matter, Daniel.  It was just a misunderstanding."  Holding the door, he waits for the man to leave.

 

Senses returning, Daniel realises he can't let Jack shut him out, not now, not like this.  Not moving but cocking his head on one side, he queries, "A... misunderstanding?"

 

With the door still ajar, Jack hesitates and slowly lifts his eyes to his friend.  "Forget it, Daniel.  I'm sorry if it...if I made you uncomfortable.  It'll never happen again."

 

"Close the door, Jack," Daniel asks quietly.

 

With a sigh, Jack complies, hoping he hasn't just ruined the best friendship he's ever had; hoping Daniel is going to give him a chance to explain, not that he relishes having to talk about this.

 

"I only said I never expected you to kiss me, Jack."  Daniel moves closer to the colonel who is still leaning against the closed door.  "I didn't say it made me uncomfortable, I never said I didn't want it to happen again." 

 

Jack's jaw drops in surprise but before he can say a word, Daniel's mouth covers his, warm lips sliding against his.  Sensation flooding his senses, Jack moans as Daniel's tongue slips inside exploring him thoroughly.  When Daniel finally releases him, all Jack can do is gasp air into his lungs and wonder if he's stepped into the twilight zone. 

 

Daniel is staring at him, one hand on the door either side of his head.  Smiling, he whispers, "Do you think it is too late... err, too early to go home, Jack?"

 

 

The End