At first I thought, maybe I go overboard about this and that? I went into the chat rooms and talked with people from around the world, I found out I am not the only one like that. You know its neat, when you talk to others you find out about their problems and the ups and downs in their life, you dont feel so bad about whats going on in your own life.
Relationships are funny that way. Some are happy and content, others are brutal and full of contempt. What amazes me, is how some people will put up with the discord, while others, throw in the towel and just move on to another relationship and hope for the best. What I have observed is, when you go onto the next situation, all the mistakes you have made are a pattern in your life and the same thing will happen all over again.
It's because we contribute to the problem. We turn a blind eye to what we do wrong. It's easier to handle that way. For many years I thought that my relationships failed because the guy didnt do this or that. What I found out instead, was that things I did made them react the way they did. They didnt change, I did. I kept repeating my mistakes over and over again. I realize now that those "mistakes" were a part of my personality. I didn't accept what was my traits or personality conflicts, I just went on my merry own way blaming them for all the things that were going wrong.
I mean we as people do criticise ourselves to some degree, but don't you find that if someone else is being critical you get offended or bent out of shape about it? I know I do, and that is one thing I would have to change, yet I can't seem to grasp a hold on it. It's become a part of me, a part of me, that I'm not willing to change.
When you can look deep into your heart and realize who you are and what you like doing in life, then you'll see that if the relationship isn't working then you are doing something wrong as well as the other person. I believe it takes two to tango. Two people have to be willing to compromise and come to some sort of agreement and be able to live together in harmony.
The only way to be in harmony, really is being able to compromise and admit when you are wrong about something. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and say "I'm sorry I did that". Sometimes you'll have to give in to what they want to do, even if you dont agree. Its always best to let someone learn from their mistakes and hope they admit when they are wrong.
If you can't agree or come to terms with what has happened, then maybe you have to let go of the past hurts and failures before you can move onto something good in the here and now.
