2. How many items are placed around the Halft Seen on Norooz?
Pshhh! Easy! You put 6 things around it!
Easy! You put 7 things around!

3. Do you wear only the highest fashion clothing in your closet whenever you step foot outside the door?
Doesn't everyone do that?
Jogging pants ARE high fashion!

4. Do you always complain about how stupid Iranian shows are and how bad the acting is ...But then watch it anyway just because your Iranian ?
No I never watch Iranian shows.
Hey man, some of those shows are good!

5. Have you ever called yourself Greek/Italian/Spanish anything OTHER than Iranian ?
No, of course not!
Well, I kinda look like a Greek/Italian/Spanish !!!!!

6. When you "break-up" with a girl/guy do you think that the same rules you both had still apply and they're "not allowed dating anyone else" ?
No that's silly and immature!
Why would they date anyone else? The went out with me, that's all they need! ..... EVER!

7. Do you have to shave continuously because you're so hairy?
I'm shaving as we speak!
I went through extensive laser hair-removal surgery to help with that problem.

8. Do you wear really tight clothes? (Even if you're fat and have weight problems?)
Yes I wear tight clothes and NO I don't have weight problem! It's all this HAIR that makes me heavy!
I told you man! Jogging pants are high fashion!!!

9. Did you ever want to be a doctor/lawyer? Do you expect your kids to all be doctors/lawyers? Do you give out medical or law advice even though you don't have a certificate? (even though it's illegal to)
Really??? You need a certificate for that?
No... what am I going to do with 20 children-doctors? open a hospital?.

10. Do you put butter on your beef kabab?
No, I'm vegitarian.
Yes and sometimes I'll add an egg too!

11. Do you think chess or backgammon is the only board-game to play out there?
No I got my X-Box
Yes, only smart Iranians play chess.....the ones who suck play backgammon

12. Do you think black is the best color to wear?
All high fashion makes clothes in black
No, my jogging pants are red.

13. Do you always have relatives over at your place?
Yes, we're all doing this quiz together.
No, I'M over at MY relatives place.

14. Do you think Googoosh is a godess?
Do I think WHO is a goddess?
YES!

15. Do you like the way the term: "Persian Pride" roles of your tongue?
No, cuz I have a stuttering problem
PERSIAN PRIDE BABY!!!

16. Are you the first to know when a good persian music album is coming out?
There's NEW Iranian singers???
Always!!!

17. Are you always correcting non-Iranians by saying: "It's EEE-ran and NOT EYE-RAN! "?
Yeah and they just don't get it!!!
Well it's spelt with an I so shouldn't it be pronounced that way?

18. When you walk into a club do you act like you own the place and expect the bouncer to be your own personal servant?
I do, but only because I know that I'm very important to their establishment!
No, I'm afraid of bouncers.

19. Do you know at least 15 persian songs off by heart?
Yeah want me to sing them for you???
I don't even understand the words!

20. Can you last for a long time when playing Moshaere?
I hate that game!
Yeah and I probably can beat you at it!

21. Who is Hafez?
umm... is he a rapper?
The king of all poetry and philosophy!

22. Do you know who this guy is?

Ali Karimi..I love that guy!
Ali Daei..he's old but I still love him!

23. How big is today's Iran?
pretty big, like more than a million square kilometres
kinda small, like smaller than a million square kilometres

24. Which is the highest Kuh (mountain) in Iran?
Kuh-e-Damavand
Kuh-e-Elburz

25. After Persians, which ethnic group is the largest in Iran?
Kurds! Woohoo!
Azeris! Woohoo!

26. How many provinces are in Iran?
mmm...About 30
Iran doesn't have provinces just 100 cities!

27. How much oil does Iran make?
They make almost 4 billion barrels a day!
They make almost 4 billion barrels a month!

28. What kind of currency does Iran use?
This is easy...the Official Iranian Pool.
This is easy....the Iranian Rial

29. Have you ever seen a Haji Firooz in real life?
I've only seen Santa at the mall...do his elves count?
Not only did I meet him I danced with him all day!

30. What year did Persia change its name to Iran?
after the revolution in 1978
one of the shah did it in 1935

31. Did you ever yell "Sorkhi-e to az man, zardi-e man az to!" while jumping over a fire in a public park?
I once jumped, but didn't yell out loud. Aren't open fires in public parks illegal anyway?
Only on Chahar Shanbeh Soori!

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