Never thought I could love and hate someone so much. To love someone with all your heart and know that everytime they look at you they lie to your face. I stopped. I know. I am Miss Independent.
I believe that God does things for a reason. Knowing that a month ago there was a picture here of my husband and I and I was so in love. To know now that I may never feel the same way about anyone else ever again really breaks my heart. I let myself get blinded by what I thought was true love. Tell me where I can find that guy that is going to love me and just want to be with me. Tell me where I can find the guy that believes in being with one and only one girl and that will let me take care of him and make him breakfast in bed. Where is my guy that will be there for me through thick and thin and not hurt me anymore. Am I living in a fantasy or is true love really gone? I cry somtimes, not for him but for the fact that I may never get another chance at true love. I thought he was 'The One' and that when he told me everything is going to be ok, I believed him. I was wrong. Yes, I know he loved me and I know that there are things I will never know, like - why?. I don't miss him or even love him anymore but I feel like a part of me died. Like a part of me that loved him rather than stop loving him just stopped working. I can't hurt. I just can't. I am walking through this world looking at men as people who are just going to use me. This is wrong. Maybe because all of this just happened and it may get better for me later. If you are out there special guy let me know. ;o) |
