|October 7, 2004|
Sorry i haven't been on lately i have been fucking pissed offf at my parents!! Pretty much as of now i have no father he doesn't exsist to me or anything! So the next time my mother refers to My ExDad lol i will be like who?? what?? lol cuz he is such a fucking asshole!! I hate him with a passion and i hope after i leave here that i never have to see him again it would make my day!! But anyhow this is what happened!! Tuesday i didn't go to school and that isn't one of my days to see jimmy lol but my dad says now that if i miss a day of school that the next scheduled day i am going to see jimmy i can't go i mean i went to school on my day to see jimmy lol but noooooo him and her have to be sooooo freaking dumbb! i was like well if i wasn't sick enuff to go to school today then i am not sick enuff not to see jimmy lol i dunno if you get that but i am sure you do! lol bu anyho besides my parents being totally fucking gay!! i went to homecoming this past weekend and it was a blast somewhat lol i mean it was cool lol i had fun with my friends and Jimmy didn't have to take his piece of crap car lol he got his bosses car a Concord it was so cool!! I cant wait to get my pics back for it lol and when i do i will Def.. Post them!! so yens all can see what went down that night!! well i better shut up lol ttyl BuH ByEs!! *Rissa*
|September 23, 2004|
Well lol its been a funnn week so far lol last firday everything everywhere in the Ohio Valley got flooded and well i haven't had school Mon.-Thurs. I have a 2 hr delay tomorrow *Friday* lol but who knows! I have been so bored that everything for Homecoming next saterday on the 2nd is planned i called Hollywood Nails and made an appoint. for the day before Homecoming, I called Elm Grove Flowers and ordered the flowers for Homecoming lol that i will be picking up on the 2nd and, for my hair i am just gonna go to Fiesta's you dont have to have an appoint. to go you just walk in so i gonna go in the morning of the 2nd lol so next weekend should be really busy lol i still have to find out what we are doing afterwards and who were doing it with lol i wanna go to the spooke house! but who knows lol We might go to Long Horn or someplace like that to eat but i dunno i guess we will find out soon enuff lol! Well gtg to bed so that i can get up in the morning! lol alrighty BuH ByEs! *Rissa*
|September 14, 2004|
lol well well well! Homecoming is in 2 1/2 weeks lol i can't wait!! It should be fun. but anyhow! i am going to prom this year and so far i am doing really good in most of my classes! Which rocks cuz i wanna get into MED. School! So wish me luck so i can make it throu the next 2 years! lol without having below a C lol i got a B- on my French 3 Honors test which is a miracle lol cuz i have always gotten C's on my french tests i mean always! I got a B on one of my Anatomy and Physiology Tests which is really cool also! Well anyhow lol me and jimmy are ok lol we still have our lil fights here and there but not as bad as they used to be and not as often thank goodness i thought i was gonna go insane if things didn't calm down! Well time for me to go to bed lol ttyl Buh Byes!! *Rissa*
|September 5, 2004|
Lol i have been busy tring to get back into the school stuff lol i haven't been getting much sleep!! but i have been so bored!!! lol i found out what i want to with my life lol i want to be an obstetrition which is a baby doctor!! Things are ok between me and jimmy lol well at least i thought so lol then we got into a li. arguement today and he tells me that everyday that he is with me is miserable for him!! Isn't that some shit lol!! What An AssHole!! I seriously think he has a one track mind and its all about him!! but isn't almost every guy like that lol except for the very few who aren't actually that bad! lol i just dont get it at all!! But anyhow if i wanna be a baby doctor lol i have to get really good grades to get into Med. School lol which is gonna be hard for me since i am so stupid at least that is what everyone says anyways! I hear it a lot actually! But oh well i guess i am used to lol isn't it true that if you hear something so often that you start to think it is true! lol well thats kind of what is happening with people calling me stupid lol! I am such a dork i locked my locker keys in my locker on thursday lol and had to get my lock cut off which sucks! Cuz i liked that lock a lot lol it was dependable lol but i am not so me and that lock didn't really work together!! Jimmy said to me last night that he heard this poem on the radio lol and it said in a summary that "If a pair of socks can go thro the washer and drier then come out and find their same match then they were meant to be" its basically talking about a relationship lol and he was saying that to me meaning it about me and him lol then he goes and acts like a total dick today!! This Is BullShit!! *Rissa*
|August 26, 2004|
Sorry I haven't written in so long lol just been kinda busy if you call sleeping my life away busy lol!! Anyhow lol i go back to school tomorrow lol which bites!! Well i guess its ok since i get to see all my friends again cuz i haven't seen them all summer!! Tomorrow i OFFICIALLY start my JUNIOR YEAR!! WHOOO HOO lol i am so happy that i am almost outta here!! its gonna be great!! I cant wait until I graduate!! I am gonna be the happiest person alive!! lol My sisters haven't been online lately lol i wonder what happened to them i know one is preoccupied lol with her stuff going on! and one her internet isn't on lol this sucks! lol well i am gonna go bug my mom about taking me shopping for school lol so ttyl BuH ByEs!! *Rissa*
|August 14, 2004|
Hey Hey Hey lol sorry i haven't written in so long lol i have been on vacation lol me and my parents went to Daytona Beach, FL. and i have just been tring to enjoy the end of my summer before i go into MY JUNIOR YEAR!!! lol its so exciting!! Hopefully its more fun!! Who knows lol. But i went on vacation and i got a major freaking sun burn!! i mean i couldn't hardly sleep b/c it hurt so bad!! and now the pain finally went away like a couple days ago lol and now i am peeling lol but i had 2 huge blisters on my back shaped like a pair of lungs lol and they busted and the skin was still alive over the blisters and well it hurt sooooo baddddd!! lol well i am getting bored so lol ttyl BuH ByEs!! *Rissa*
|July 27, 2004|
Ohhh i have been so bored lately lol cuz i have nootthhinnggg to do lol wel i did stay the night at a friends house on friday she is like my best friend her name is shantell lol and well i LHLAS she is really cool to hang with we are always laughing when were together!! OOOhhh i need a tan like so bad i am like chicken white everywhere but on my arms and face i hope we go on vacation lol but i just dunno yet!! i really want jimmy to go with us on vacation but noo my dad says he can't go he says to find a friend to go with me but i dunno which one of my friends would be willing to be away from there bayfriends for that long lol it sucks when your friends get boyfriends too b/c then they never wanna be with you lol but they always bitched at you for spending to much time with your b/f before they got b/fs it sucks!! but anyways with all the finacial problems going on here we dunno if we are ever going on vacation but i hope we do cuz i need to get outta here for a lil bit and go out and do some fun stuff like go to the beach! Me and Jimmy are tring to get the time and money to go to kennywood lol but i highly doubt that will happen i really wanna take him to a beach he has never been to one so i wanna take him so he knows what its like!! i mean he is 19 years old and has never been on a vacation or anywhere really except for PA, OH, & WV i mean like hes only been in and around those states!! If you ask me its really messed up!! lol but who knows!!! BuH ByEs!! *Rissa*
|July 20, 2004|
OMG I HATE PEOPLE MY DAD AND MOM ARE LAZY FREAKING MEANIES!! MY B/F IS KILLING ME OR OTHERWISE BREAKING MY HEART VERY SLOWLY!! HE TOLD ME THAT IF HE HAD TO CHOOSE B/T ME AND HIS CUZIN HE WOULD CHOOSE HIS CUZIN CUZ HE IS FAMILY LOL WELL JIMMY IS FAMILY TO HIS CUZIN TOO LOL AND WELL HIS CUZIN FUCKING KICKED HIM TO THE CURB LOL BUT NO I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR JIMMY ALWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE WOULD KICK ME TO THE CURB FOR SOME FREAKING LIL PUNK ASS RETARD!! WHO MAY I REPEAT KICKED HIM TO THE CURB!! THIS IS SO MESSED UP!! I FEEL LIKE HE IS TRING TO BREAK MY HEART EXTREMELY SLOWLY! He doesn't care about what i say or how i fucking feel!! oh but who ever you are dont feel sorry for me you know somehow someway people probably think i deserve this stupid crap!! so who cares right?????? Surely not the people i care about thats who lol!! i am gonna go now and go even more insane than i already am!! BYESS! *Rissa*
|July 16, 2004|
Oh man i have been so tired the last couple of days and i have no idea why!! Well jimmy done pissed me off last night for the whole weekend!! when he called me after work he said he wasn't gonna be calling or going to his cuzins house lol guess where he was when i was tring to get ahold of him and he wonders why i dont trust him!! He must be freaking stupid or something!!! The next time he goes up there he is never gonna hear the end of my bitchin!!! Seriously!! Cus him telling me he is gonna do one thing then doing the complete opposite like an hour later is gettin so old that if it happens again i think i am gonna severely hurt him no kiddin!! But i thought this weekend was gonna be peaceful cuz his cuzin was supposed to go to jambo buuuuttt noo nothing ever works out for me! i guess his cuzin saw jimmy going to the mall so he turned around in his car and started following him like fucking horny dog or something stupid like that!! His cuzin uses jimmy as his last resort for something to do and jimmy knows this but he still freaking hangs out with him isn't that some messed up shit!! Jimmy is messed up one of his friends didn't even do anything to him and he hates his guts and well his cuzin actually was being a dick towards him and jimmys all like ohhhhh lets get duck taped together its fucking stupid!! ByEs ! *Rissa*
|July 12, 2004|
OMG i hate men i mean jimmy doesn't care about anyone but himself and well that can really be a problem in a relationship!! and the fact that it drives me insane!! i mean i dunno if he doesn't just care about me or the whole world lol but he does a good job at not careing about me! i told him the other day that if he would almost break up with me again i dunno if i would have the stregth to come back to him b/c he would break my heart as he has done so many times before! but you know what i am not to sure if he really cares that much b/c he never even said anything like oh it will be ok or anything like that!! It drives me nuts when i am talking to him and he doesn't say anything to me at all!! ITS LIKE HELLOOO??? well jimmy got online that night that my phone didn't work and well he told me that he loves me to much to just break things totally off with me and he said that i needed to stop being such a bitch and i said well you are sitting here telling me to change and everytime i complain about him not changing he says if you dont like it break up with me and well then he said well i was thinking about it and well i am gonna try to change if you will too i was like yeeeeehhhh riiiiigghhhhttt you can't teach a stupid dog new tricks right?? and well i was right i guess b/c i have yet to see him really change anything about him being a dickhead and stuff and i said you have to change that before i can change being a bitch b/c you have been a dickhead to me more than i have ever been a bitch to you!! and he was like i know and i was like omg he actually agree's with me when he knows i am right!! b/c he never does that! Buttt noo he never did it yet!!! cuz he is still acting like he is 5 and well still freaking being stupid!! but whatever!! ByEs *Rissa*
|July 9, 2004|
Sorry i haven't written in a while lol i just got my puter reformated so i am tring to get it up and running again!! WEll once again me and jimmy almost broke up last night its like a nonstop thing with him almost breaking up with me i mean! its driving me nuts b/c everytime he does this crap it breaks my heart and it hurts so bad!! i wish that he would just stop breaking my heart!! cuz i am gonna go insane if it happens again!! I mean i could seriously feel my heart break last night it sucked so much! I felt like i was gonna die! well i was wishing i could anyways! lol but oh well me and him are kinda alright now and well yeh. I saw spider-man 2 the other day and it was an awesome movie i liked it a lot!! i liked the ending too. Are phone doesn't work here and jimmy was gonna call me to talk about last night and whether we are staying together but nooooo the one time i actually need the phone to work really bad it doesn't!! It sucked so bad until jimmy got online but his internet wasn't hooked up i guess he took the phone line from his phone and put into the puter its cool! but he never got back on and i need to talk to him about tomorrow and the rest of the weekend!! AWWWWW lol and well my dad had my moms celly here the whole time i was freaking out b/c i couldn't get ahold of jimmy!! i was like ohhhh i am gonna hurt you!! he said i am not aloud to use it the only reason he says that is b/c i wanted to call jimmy my dad doesn't like jimmy i dunno why b/c its none of his business i mean our relationship isn't! well gtg i am tired! ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
|July 2, 2004|
Today is me and jimmys 2 year 5 month anniversary lol thats a looonnnnngggg time lol!! Me and my dad have been a paper route for his cuzin lol and well it has been ok lol but i am glad that we are done now with that!! the Forth of July is on Sunday me and jimmy i think are going to the Wheeling fireworks on sunday we were gonna go to the martins ferry ones but my parents are gay!! so we are just gonna see eachother saterday and sunday lol! I am so bored right now!!! i am about to go insane!! This sucks lol i kinda do wanna go to the fireworks in MF butttt noooo lol my mom has to work!! and jimmy is also haveing braking issuses with his car! its always something with jimmys car lol i feel bad for him! i have taken my permit test 4 times and still have yet to pass!! i am gettin frustrated with this stupid test! but oh well!! i am going again tuesday and well i am gonna study allll weekend so i can pass this time!! Well gtg ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
|June 27, 2004|
lol i went bowling today and i sucked so bad!!! i got zero's like 6 times in a row! It was bad lol!! But me and jimmy might go bowling tomorrow lol so i can maybe get better and its just plain out funny to see me get hit the gutters lol!! i actually dropped the ball and it went in the wrong direction lol it kinda slipped outta my hand as i tried to throw it down the lane so it went the wrong way lol!! me and jimmy started having some problems here lately lol b/c he wants to start hangin with his cuzin again and that pisses me off but one morning i asked him if he was gonna go to his cuzins house b/c his cuzin said he was gonna call him and well he went there right after work so theres one lie lol then i got pissed b/c of that and then he said to me after he talks to him about him ignoring him then he was going home and calling me to talk about it theres another lie he even had everyone at his cuzins house lie for him too!! His cuzin told me he went to a friends house when he actually was there at his house!! So i told that stupid shithead off!! And Jimmy told me he wasn't gonna be there often lol lets see how long that one lasts lol! I mean its bothering the hell outta me!! so i made his life hell the next time i saw him lol and its what he deserves lol!! He told me that i was the reason he had no friends and no life and he was gonna break up with me! I was like WTF i didn't even do anything to you your the one who lied to me lol! he said he was sick of all the fighting lol well stop lying and we'll be fine!! i mean he lies like all the time!! Its gettin old lol he says he does it so he doesn't have to hear me whine and bitch lol well lol if you didn't lie i wouldn't have to whine and bitch lol! And everything i say lol i get accused of doing that!! its annoying so i am just gonna shut up from now on lol!!! ByEs! *Rissa*
|June 22, 2004|
I ammmmmmm soooo borreddddd!! lol i have nothing to do!!! i feel like i am gonna go insane if i dont get outta this house but me and mom are doing something thank goodness!! we have On Demand with Comcast Cable lol and i think i have watched almost every movie on that demand thing i have been so bored!! I wanna watch Wrong Turn but its only on MAX and we dont have MAX lol! It sucks! I watched Gangs of New York last night its not a bad movie its just really long! well it seemed really long lol but i never checked to see how long it actually was lol! Jimmys getting his car fixed today and tomorrow while he is at work lol but i dunno if me and jimmy are gonna beable to see eachother tomorrow b/c we dunno if they will have the car done by the time he is done at work! But who knows right? LALLALLLAAALLLLAAAA!! lol TTYL ByEs! *Rissa*
|June 17, 2004|
Finally tomorrow *Friday* i am gonna go shopping cuz my mommy gets paid!! I need to get jimmy a bday present and well a bunch of other things lol to think about it after i am done on here i am gonna make a list of things i need to get lol! i am gonna reformat my computer tomorrow or sometime its starting to act stupid so i copied all my pictures onto a cd lol so i can still have them after i reformat my puter! I want a new computer chair this one is getting old!! hopefully i get my permit here soon but my mother will not fill out the student enrollment form and take it to the board of education so i can go get my permit!!! i am gonna be 18 before i ever get my license!! Seriously!!! I need to get my pictures developed from the last day of school i betting they are gonna be cool pics! i have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow except go and do a lil shopping!! I have nothing to do these days and it is so boring i think i might rip my hair out! i wanna go swimming tomorrow but i dunno where and who with!! more than likely i will just sleep all day like i usually do b/c i have nothin to do lol! But who knows it feels really late at night right now but its only 12:19 am thats odd~ welp gtg ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
|June 14, 2004|
Well Jimmys 19th birthday is today and i can't get him anything b/c my mother has to be gay and not take me out she is never gonna be here for me or do anything for me except gimme money every now and then to try and make up for her not being here but whatever its not like anyone really cares that much!! so just forget it!! i guess jimmys day is just gonna be another shitty day because no one in this world gives a flying crap about anyone but themselves! I guess that just goes to show you that all you have in this world is yourself! But i guess i am used to that! but i dunno i wish i could do something for jimmy since his parents have been bringing him down lately. Who knows! lol i have been so bored cuz everyone in this house is really boring!! But oh well! Well i gtg ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
|June 10, 2004|
My dad is such a butthead he blames me for everything and when he finds out it wasn't me he never even says sorry!! and well he told me i could see jimmy 3 times a week so i am gonna choose when i see him ok! I wish people would just stay outta my life and let me spend it the way i want to!!! But whatever right? Jimmys birthday is on Monday i dunno what i am gonna get him lol and i dunno how b/c my mother works all the time so i dunno how she is gonna take me out or even if she is gonna give me the money to get him anything i dunno if his parents are planning anything either! It would be really wrong if they didn't they probably wont even get him anything more than likely! but who knows about them lol we did go out yesterday shopping but we only went to fashion bug lol and i doubt jimmy wants anything from there!! lol! GTG ByEs! *Rissa*
|June 6, 2004|
Yaaaahhhhh lol i finally got this layout to work lol i couldn't believe it lol its looks really cool! Well anyhoo!! Now i defintely know this summer is gonna be like so freaking boring its not even funny i sat here all day doing nothin!! It sucked so bad!!! I mean my mother is never around shes always sleeping or at work!! and my dad well lol for those of you who know him lol you know how that is! Shantell has her bf living at her house so she doesn't have enuff time for me and well kaelah has a bf too so she really doesn't wanna be with anyone but him so! and well heather she is living wiht her bf now and well everyone is just too busy!! so i am gonna spend this summer alone since i am only aloud to see jimmy like 2wice a week! plus he works also so he really cant stay out to late on weeknights when we see eachother! so i dunno what time he is gonna bring me home wednesday! who knows lol!I wish i had friends who want to spend time with me and not just there bfs or well whatever if any of my friends read this then i am sorry but it is true you all never call me to see what i am doing unless your bfs have something already planned and you can't do anything with them! lol my mom just walked in here like 2 secs ago and said that her and my dad say that i can see jimmy 3 times a week now lol see now thats all i wanted during the school year now i just wanna see him like 5 times a week lol but that is impossible lol jimmy has to go to work! lol so i guess i am happy! for now! ByEs! *Rissa*
|June 4, 2004|
WHOOO HOOO lol today was my last day of exams at school!! i am so happy cuz they were so boring!! but anyhow i got into a lil fight with jimmys cuz again lol cuz now that school is out cody wants nothing to do with jimmy!! Isn't that just so messed up so i kinda told him off then he told me not to start my crap and well i told him f*** you!! now hes like tring to tell me that he works all the time!!! i mean if he has enuff time to go to the mall with his friends then how come he cant do anything with jimmy i mean i like the fact that jimmy isn't up his cuzins ass no more but dang this is stupid! anyhow lol i have no idea what i am gonna do all summer lol!!! this sucks! I am not gonna have anything to do!! GOTTA LET IT BURNNNNN BABIIII!!! LOVE YENS!! ByEs! *Rissa*
|May 31, 2004|
hey! I saw jimmy saterday and well things are going really well b/t us! its great! i saw him today too lol we went to his uncles farm and his mom and aunt were riding the fourwheelers lol jimmys mom was caked in mud!!! I wish i could have gone but nooooo me and jimmy aren't aloud near the 4wheelers hardly are we aloud on them! who knows maybe we'll all go next saterday lol but i hardly doubt me and jimmy will ride! I just recently started calling jimmys mom *mom* but i am not really that close to jimmys dad so i just call him jimmys dad lol cuz i hardly ever talk to him!! who knows! but its really starting to make me mad how jimmys parents treat derek their younger son like a lil angel and give him anything he wants and jimmy like a freaking loser or a retard!! It makes me so mad i just wanna go off on them!! Its just stupid! but after the whole 4wheeling thing we all went to a cook out at jimmys aunts house its was ok! Then after that we went to see a movie we saw The Day After Tomorrow! I liked it! Jimmy said it wasn't as good as he thought it was gonna be. TOMORROW IS THE LAST REAL DAY OF SCHOOL!! I mean wednes. thurs. and friday i have exams and i get out early! I am gonna try to make this summer really fun!! I hope it works out lol usually all summer i just sit here in the house cuz i have nothing to do! But now that i am in a scrapbooking club and stuff that should keep me busy! Lol i went to 3 cook outs this weekend lol one for jimmys neighbor one for my aunt and one for jimmys aunt! lets just say if i never see another hot dog again it will be too soon!! I would like to have a 4wheeler lol then me and jimmy would go out on it like all the time lol we'll show his parents lol that jimmy can have fun without there consent!! well gtg to bed ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
|May 26, 2004|
Well lol jimmy never called me at 9 30 so i called him and i broke up with him lol and well yeh i saw him today and we got back together lol thats a good thing tho cuz i missed him a lot! Things just weren't right lol! But we went to see Shrek 2 today its a good movie and very funny so i liked it! I only have like a week left of school lol i dont have school on monday tho lol and all the rest of next week are exam days so i get outta school at like 10 or something like that lol but i am sad cuz i have a feeling this summer is gonna suck like that last one lol i mean last summer was just boring!! i mean i thought i was gonna die!! but hopefully there are more family gatherings me and jimmy could go to for his family and mine lol we went to his aunts today and i was really uncomfortable cuz i dunno her or her husband and so jimmy said fine we wont go to any of my families events or anything we will only go to yours! i was like no were goin cuz i wanna get to know his family better ya know lol! but who knows!! Jimmy i guess is getting paid friday lol so who knows what we can do on saterday lol maybe we can finally go out and do something for once instead of sitting at his house!! lol well gtg its bed time for me!! ByEs! *Rissa*
|May 23, 2004|
lol i saw Van Hellsing! its really good! But Jimmys being Stupid its 9 17 pm right now and well if he doesn't call me by 9 30 then i am gonna call him and tell him we are taking a break!! Cuz the only reason hes not calling is because hes at his cuzins house once again that stupid retard!! Lol he has 10 mins now!! well i am really bored!! I dunno what i am doin this week!! lalalala i dunno what to talk about so i will ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
|May 20, 2004|
WELL I DONT REALLY CARE IF MY PARENTS READ THIS OR NOT!!! ITS SO FREAKING GAY THAT I AM NOT ALOUD TO SEE MY B/F MORE THAN 2 DAYS A WEEK!!! I MEAN 4REAL WHATS THE POINT OF IT I MEAN I TRY TO SAY I AM GOING OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND THEY THINK I AM GOING OUT WITH JIMMY AND I AM NOT!!! I am going out with my friends i am not dumb like that to say crap like that and not do it!! I mean last time i checked it was still me and jimmys relationship and we still controled it!! I mean why are people aloud to make these decisions for me or hom even tho we haven't done anything to be punished!!! I know why my dad doesn't let me see jimmy CUZ he doesn't like Jimmy and hes making me pay for it!! I mean i pick who i am going out with right? lol so why is it such a big deal!! And well my dad freaks out over nothing!!! I mean 4real this is uch bullcrap i dont wanna live here i wanna just live with jimmy and his family at least they treat me like a real person and not some FREAKING PUNCHING BAG!! LIKE I SAID MY DAD DOESN'T LIKE JIMMY SO HE IS PUNISHING ME FOR IT!! IT SUCKS!! THIS IS STUPID SO I AM NOT GONNA WASTE MY BREATHE ON IT!!! ByEs! *Rissa*
|May 17, 2004|
OK whoever is getting on my filemanager and freaking messing with my files and changing my password then STOP IT its very immature i dont mess with your crap!! but anyways! My parents read some of my entries! Thats so wrong i told them not to do that b/c there are just some things that you dont want people to know i guess! Me and jimmy got into it he said that i was accusing him of things he wasn't doin well he was wrong and he knows it now!! he kinda expects me to treat him like a king while he treats me like a dog tho! And well that just isn't gonna fly and i told him that! He tried to make all of this crap we have been fighting about is all my fault! He is very Wrong! i mean i might whine or B**c* about the stuff that he does but i never do anything really wrong! I mean i might be a nag but I do nothing else that is wrong! lol well gtg take my contacts out so i can go to bed! Ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
|May 14, 2004|
lol nothing really new i am gonna see Jimmy tomorrow lol Me, Whitney, Shelli, Mom, Dad, and Jimmy are all goin to the drive in tomorrow night lol if things work out right i guess! I am gonna start adding some new collages so check it out!! I was tring to do something with Shantell! but nooo my dad had to leave so i didn't have a ride lol neither did shantell so we might meet up at the drive in and park next to eachother! its gonna be cool!! well gtg work on the collages so pz out! *Rissa*
|May 12, 2004|
I AM SO BORED!!! there is nothing to do and i haven't seen jimmy since sunday!! and well there is nothing to do! Shantell hasn't called adn well Dustins gf is being stupid tring to tell me who i can talk to and i cant talk to! but oh well! SOO lol i ahve 17 days left of school and seniors only have 2 lol! isn't that crazy!! lol i dunno what to write about!! i went to my Grandma Chris' and my Grandma Cleo's!! My Grandma Cleo has a bunch of dogs!! but they are all so darn cute!!! lol!!! well i got nothing else to say so ttyl buh byes!! *Rissa*
|May 4, 2004|
Man i haven't seen jimmy since Wednesday lol and for all you Jimmy haters lol you should be happy! hehe just messing! But i am gonna see him tomorrow *Wednesday* lol its been one week since i have seen him i guess! My dad has lightened up he is letting me see jimmy 2 days a week now wippy freaking doo i say lol he said one during the week and one during the weekend wow i fell so special lol! but anyhow lol i only have like 20 days left of school and i am out for the summer now to that i can say whoooooooo hooo lol! but then again i still have exams lol thats sucks! But hopefully this summer will be more fun than last summer *It was a total bore* lol oh well! I still haven't gotten my permit yet and well i am getting really anxious! lol i mean my student enrollment form expired already! and well i have to get a new one before friday so i can go on friday and get me permit and hopefully pass this time lol! Wish me Luck if ya dont hear from me by then! ByEs! *Rissa*
|April 29, 2004|
TIRED....... lol who knows! well i started talking to my friend Dustin again recently lol its ok between us now! My parents are once again being really gay!! They are only letting me see Jimmy like once a week now if you ask me that is really stupid!! And my dad basically called me a slut too!! My mom was asking me if me and jimmy were gonna go get my BC pills and well i said no i dont think so b/c jimmy doesn't have enuff gas money to do that! and my dad said no why should we have to go get and pay for your BC pills so you can go and sleep around! THAT is so rude! LOL and if my dad thinks he is gonna keep me away from Jimmy well he can just go screw himself! b/c that is just bullshit i mean i only see jimmy like 3 times a week if i am lucky! and well i still spend like 4 days at home! so he's got another thing coming if he thinks this is gonna fly! I mean i have friends who see their bfs everyday of every week and every hour! i mean and all i am asking for is 3 days a week not 7 not 5 not even 4 just 3 and well hes gay and he says one and then i have to sit here for the other 6 and either find something to do with my friends or just sit here and be miserable! that is really stupid!! and i will freaking go insane if i have to sit in this house for that long! LY ByEs! *Rissa*
April 26, 2004 || Whats up?
Well lol i have been so bored and well my parents have been being really gay! They wont let me see jimmy when i want to i mean 4real lol i mean its not there problem and this is still my relationship!! Then jimmy lied to me once again he said he was goin home and he didn't go home lol hes so gay!! i mean 4real we wouldn't have so many probs if he didn't some of the stupid ass shit he does!! hes seriously gonna end up alone for the rest of his life if he doesn't stop lying and acting retarded! but whatever his loss i guess if he looses me! Ly *Rissa*
April 22, 2004 || lol
Wow me and jimmy got into it lol he tried to lie to me and tell me he was goin fishing by himself and well i knew damn well he was goin with his cuzin lol so we got into a fight and he called me a cunt! He is lucky i am even speaking to him anymores! I talked to his mom and told her a lot of things he didn't want her to know and well she talked to him and told him that he needed to listen to me not just be all pissed off all the time! but anyhow! I stopped wearing our engagement ring and i also stopped saying i love you to him and when he asked me why i kept not saying it i said because i am pushed down to more of a like now n'days! and he was like uhhhh! But his mom and my mom told me to play hard to get and show that i dont care about what he does and crap so taht he will stop thinking that he can treat me like crap! and well i am doin that and it is working he is all upset saying that i dont care about him for the first time in our relationship he is saying i dont care about him not me say he doesn't care about me! I always used to have to say that and i sometimes still have to! Well gtg i'll write again soon LY ByEs! *Rissa*
April 19, 2004 || ;)!
Man i am so tired right now lol so dont worry if i sound a lil weird! Well anyhow yesterday jimmy pissed me off so bad that i threw to rocks at him one big and one small lol i missed on both shots! oh well i couldn't see straight so my aim was a lil off! Oh well lol! i admit it was a lil gay for me to do that but oh well you dont diss a Rhodes Girl!! But anyhow i am talking to a friend of mine and well we have a lot of things in common i think its cool lol hes a nice guy and someday he will make a girl very happy! I downloaded Dawn of the Dead onto my puter and i am done watching the first half i am gonna watch the first half if i dont fall asleep! Well ok i gtg lol ttyl ByEs! *Rissa*
April 16, 2004 || Finally the Weekend!
Its seems like it took for ever for this week of school to be over!! i thougt i was gonna go insane lol not really! Oh yeh i made some nice collages you should check em' out alrighty!! they are neat! Well i have been so bored me and jimmys cuz got into it lol i knew it was gonna happen eventually! But oh well its his cuzins prob! I am not to worried about it i dont have to see him! but anyhow i have been so boreeddd! lol i have been working on my site and all that good stuff lol so check out the new stuff alrighty gtg ly ByEs! *Rissa*
April 15, 2004 || *Cry*
Well my parents are getting into my business and are being really gay they dont want me going out all the time with jimmy i mean 4real that is so gay i mean like what am i gonna do here?? NOTHING thats what i get to do here! SO i am seriously ticked off and well my mom didn't freaking gimme the money for my check so i couldn't give jimmy gas money then i went to my cuzins up the street and borrowed money from them and got like totally cuzzed out by my dad becasue i forget i am not aloud to do anything with my family unless it is with my parents and really i have no family except close people cuz a lot of my family want nothing to do with me! Oh well! My dad made me feel like i was total crap i mean i freaking cried myself to sleep last night because of him! but who knows ttyl byes! *Rissa*
April 12, 2004 || LALALALA!!
Well this spring break has been really boring!! lol i didn't do anything other than go to Jimmys and my Aunts for Easter Dinner. It was fun they had cake for me b/c it was my bday and My uncle Tims bday also we have the same bday lol! Oh Man am i bored!! lol Well i am gonna get going lol so get at me alrighty! ByEs. *Rissa*
April 8, 2004 || Good Bday Party Right??
Well my Bday party was on sunday lol the 4th sorry i haven't written in a while lol but anyhow Yeh my Bday party was cool lol except for a couple people who decided they wanted to try and ruin it so i just got my dad to kick them out and well then they left i cried and everything but over all it was a pretty good day! I got $45 from all the people that were there lol THANKS!! I dont have school thrusday, friday, or monday ITS SPRING BREAK BABI!!! I wanna have some serious fun lol but ya never know haha! I went out and bought the movie the Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my bday money! I love that movie! Well lol i gtg but i will write again soon i promise hehe!! LY ByEs!! *Rissa*
April 1, 2004 || April Fools Day
Yes today is April fools day lol i didn't even get anyone lol i tried to tell my mom that i was pregnant but she didn't believe me lol so i just said april fools lol anyhow! I dyed my hair today and well its really really red!! I know some people who are gonna hate it because they hate my hair in any kinda dark color like Jimmy lol! Oh well tomorrow is my and jimmys 2 year 2 month anniversary lol and well i am putting blonde highlights in my hair tomorrow lol and hopefully going to take my drivers permit test finally its been two weeks since the last time that i tried to take it!! I really hope i pass this time! I cant wait this sunday is my bday party lol and well i wanna have fun fun fun! We are goin bowling! I suck at bowling so it should be fun cuz everyone will be laughing at me! I will probably be laughing at myself too! Who knows haha! We were gonna have a cook out before bowling but ia m not 2 sure that is gonna go very well lol cuz it is supposed to rain and all that good stuff! But ya never know the weather people might be wrong! I hope everyone brings lots of presents! HEHE! Well i gtg now lol so wish me luck with the highlights and my bday party and stuff ok lol LY ByEs *Rissa*
March 29, 2004 || SO Bored!
Well me heather and jason kinda worked things out lol but who knows how long this peace will last lol! Me and jimmy started to get on eachothers nerves saterday since we saw eachother friday too lol! Plus i was on the rag all weekend so i was kinda being stupid! Anyhow lol Jimmy is stupid he doesn't respect what his Elders want!! They tell him something then he goes and does the opposite! I think sometimes that he will never grow up! Who knows!! I told him that is he isn't grown up by the time he turns 19 i am gonna leave him so hopefully he will grow up! But ya never know lol. Well i am tired lol so i am gonna go to bed I'll write soon ly byes! *Rissa*
March 25, 2004 || Friends!!
Well lol i now know that heather doesn't think of me as a true friend lol!! She freaking blamed me for something i didn't even do just because someone told her something! I mean seriously thats just wrong! well lol i just had like a 45 min convo with Jason Heathers bf and well yeh everything is kinda worked out i am still a little ticked at them 2 but oh well this all isn't my problem i dont choose to make it a problem! So yeh i am just gonna be like whatever! Jimmys mad because i had a convo w/ his enemy!! But oh well!! gtg byes *Rissa*
March 21, 2004 || Sorry!!!
well lol so sorry its been a while since i have written lol!! been busy all weekend!! lol well i stayed at my sisters house friday night had the best time ever!! lol and well what i wanted to happen happened!! It was so much fun and it was so funny some parts of it anyway lol!! Email me if ya wanna know about it i am not gonna say it on here lol! there were some pretty hilarious parts!! Well the next day wasn't too great! Jimmy was being a dick!!! and well i cried he was a dick and then we were still ticked at eachother! Then that night he ticked me off again he freaking was on the guide on the tv and then went to the show that was called Wire For Sex and checked the info for it!! then expects me to not freaking care i mean i must not be enuff for him if he checks info's of things that have the word sex in it or watches things like that i mean if i was he wouldn't care about them kinda things or well he shouldn't!! He tickes me off so bad then right after taht he fell asleep even tho we only had like a half hour to spend together i got ticked! I mean i now know that i totally care more than he does about this relationship!! i mean i wanna be with him where ever we are i mean i just wanna be with him it doesn't matter if we are doin something but he has to always to be doing something!!! G2G BYES! *Rissa*
March 17, 2004 || Fun Fun Fun!!
Well Well Well lol i am so bored i am about to go insane lol i mean there is nothing to do!! Me and jimmy made up a plan for friday lol for when i go to my uncles bday party he is gonna come too and then take me and my sisters up to shelli's dorm and well yeh we are all gonna chill there the last part is what i like the most but i gotta be hush hush about that because of people who might be reading this lol!! But its gonna be so much fun fun fun i just hope it goes right and doesn't get messed up like all my other great plans! I can't wait tho lol! But who knows lol! anyhow lol its my bed time and well i am gonna go now so ttyl buh byes! *Rissa*
March 16, 2004 || OK Fine.
Well now i really dont care if my bday is coming up or not i am just gonna stay in my room the whole day and just sit on my ass if anyone cares i am betting that no one does or they would probably? maybe? do something about what i am doing for my bday to make it better instead of feeling like i am shit or crap to everyone i touch! Well the same thing that happened with jimmy yesterday happened again today! And well i dunno if i can go on anymore i just want to have someone in my life that will care about me and only me and wouldn't even notice other women if they had the chance to and someone who would be here for me and would care how i felt and how he treated me but i guess i am the most unluckiest girl alive because i fear that i will never have that i found the right man but god knows you cant change a man even if you killed yourself they will all just be the same person i mean they can hold it back for like a day or two but after that their true person truely shines thro this man was like all those things in the beginning but now it just sucks he doesn't care anymore and when we have one simple fight he goes numb on me and says he doesn't give a shit i guess i am not worth it i mean i do all these things to make me worth something to him but in the end still he doesn't want me he wants someone online or something. He admitted that the first time all this crap happened that he did say some nasty things to the girl and well that just kills me inside becasue all this time he was lying about it! And i am so loosing my mind i am goin to be a mute here soon i wish! I just really dont care anymore someone could be raping me right now and i wouldn't make a move or scream out to cry for help! I guess thats what life is it just turns to shit no matter how hard you try to keep it from turning to shit it does its just happening to me way to early! I feel like i cant trust anyone i am so not mental anymore i lost it now finally maybe my brain will be at ease now! Byes *Rissa*
March 15, 2004 || YAAHH!!
The reason i say YAH is because my bday is coming up here really soon!! I am so excited to turn 16 even tho nothing will change i still wont get any privlages!! It sucks! So what ru gettin me for my bday??? Well some crazy crap happened today lol i kinda dont trust Jimmy to go into chatrooms because everytime he does it always turns out badly!! I mean he ends up sending me something that he meant to send a girl he was talking to today it was something really stupid that he should be talking about with other people other than me! Well i started to worry so when he signed off i got on his name and this girl told me he was saying so pretty nasty things to her so i called him and well we got into it i said i just didn't understand why he didn't wnat me on his name if he didn't have anything to hide! and well i told him about the girl that i talked to and he denied it all but who knows i mean the same exact thing has happened before!! I dont think i am gonna trust him to be online for a while i mean i never have and why i keep fixing his computer when he messes it up i have no idea!! If i didn't fix it then he couldn't do any of these things that he supposedly does online! I really dont like gettin played behind my back! But you know what i mean it bothers me and more than likely if his puter stays fixed then we will have this fight again i know it! He says he wants his privacy and i say well once you see someone naked in a relationship then privacy has nothing to do with it anymore well thats what i think! I mean it all just makes me feel like i am no enuff for him so he has to go and do stupid things like this! *Remember i still dunno if he actually did but its happened twice so i dont think these girls are just lying to me for there health!* well G2G ttyl byes! *Rissa* P.S. I am not Jimmys first and now i feel like he is judging me on how i am ya know since he has experienced it with someone else!
March 12, 2004 || oOPs!!
lol i am really sorry i haven't updated you in a while lol just been busy with school stuff and sleeping lol ok! Well everythings ok i guess lol i mean jimmy spends more time with a guy thanb his gf lol but oh well and hey reese i understand that jimmy is an asshole and stuff but i just take one second at a time and if breaking up with jimmy is what my future holds then it will play out like its supposed to ok. but thanks for caring so much! I have been bored outta my mind lately there is just nothing to do i guess jimmy is maybe gonna come up tomorrow (saterday) i swear if he brings his cuzin with him i am not stepping one foot outta this house!!! He may like to have another guy in on our relationship but i dont want that happening!! but who knows lol welp g2g buh byes!! *Rissa*
March 7, 2004 || Yeh Okay Whatever.
Well jimmy came over yesterday and well we had our lil talk and of course it ended well lol! but this is what he said about saying that he didn't love me he said that he was mad and well when hes mad he says things that he don't mean!! Thats just messed up i mean if he was just mad and stuff then he wouldn't have dragged it out by saying well i have been feeling like this for a while now i mean thats a lil more than just being ticked. I talked to him about that and he said sometimes he loves me and sometimes he doesn't i told him that is not a pure love! He is just weird i guess i mean he said that its not really like that but its just hard to explain! lol well i am playing games with my sis reese lol so ttyl byes! *Rissa*
March 5, 2004 || Its Too Hard!!!
How would you feel if the person you loved the most told you he didn't give a shit about you well then if you know how that feels then you knbow how i feel. My bf told me he didn't care or love me anymore and well i am about to go insane and kill myself!! It sucks to care about someone and not have then care about you! I just cant believe this is happening to me! Things were getting better we didn't have a fight for like a week and a half and now this happens! But everytime we get into a fight he says soemthing like that not always that but something like it! And it sucks so bad! I Feel like i wanna become catatonic or something like that! When things get hard i wanna work them out and well when things get hard i still love jimmy but when things get ruf he just goes numb or something like he doesn't care and if he loved me that much then he could handle a few problems! What makes it worse is that he freaking said he would call me back after he called his cuzin and well he didn't so i called him and well his dad said he went to his cuzins and well when he said he would call me back i was tring to make plans with him for today!! Well when i called his cuzins jimmy wasn't there yet and i told his cuzin to tell him to call me back! he did and well he freaking blew me off so he could spend time with his cuzin isn't that some shit! He says he doesn't love me anymore because he is sick and tired of all the problems well how come everythings always about him i mean what if i am sick of all the problems i mean more than all of the problems are his fault! I mean i just want some things to be about me and how i am feeling and how he treats me well i guess the day that hell breaks lose on earth will be the day that, that happens so oh well!! i am gonna go think now so BUH BYES! *Rissa*
March 2, 2004 || Peachie Keens!
Well everything has been really cool lately alright lol things are cool b/t me and jimmy! Sorry i haven't written in so long! I have been busy kinda! lol. Like i have been tring to bring up my grades i am slacking a lil bit lol in science and english! So yeh i have been tring to work on that. I have been so tired too! I have been tring to download some movies off of the internet and its goin ok lol some movies are being gay! lol like not wanting to download! Right now i am downloading 2 movies Lord of the Rings 2 and 3 and 3 is almost done well in 3 mins. it will be i am excited! Its cool that you can download movies and songs onto your computer! welp dont wanna make this thing to long so ttyl Byes! *Rissa*
Febuary 27, 2004 || Well Well Well!!!
Welp Jimmy came down Wednesday the 24th and we worked things out but get this he wanted to break up with me right after i told him that I didn't want to break up!! Isn't that some shit lol! Well if you wanna know anymore about what happened just email me alrighty! But anyhow today wasn't to bad except for that jimmy wants to come get me tomorrow and bring me home at like 6 30 thats some messed up shit! But he wants to do that because he wants to go to hockey game with his cuzin! Well lets see he stayed the night at his cuzins house Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday! He just go home from there like yesterday and well hes back down there and staying tonight and then tomorrow night too! and also goin to the hockey game with his cuzin! I just dont see the point in coming to get me if hes gonna bring me home at like 6 or 6 30!! Oh well i am not starting shit! I just knew that one day the fact that he wants to hang out with his cuzin so much was gonna get in the way of our relationship! I mean jimmy got his tax returns back and well guess what he hasn't even thought of buying?? ok now i am cring! He hasn't even thought about buying me an anniversary present or a valentines day present because he is so worried about hanging with his cuzin! I mean i am owed his time of day, not to be blown off because of a hockey game! I really dont care! Its retarded but i am not gonna bother myself with this stupid shit. I mean just like jimmy said i kinda dont care what happens to our relationship its just to much for me right now to care for! So oh well! Byes! *Rissa*
Febuary 24, 2004 || Oh Well!!
Hey!! Jimmy never called me last night!! Well he still hasn't called me yet today i WANNNA call him so bad!! But i made a promise to myself that i wouldn't he will probably call around like 9 tonight!! Who knows?? But whatever he is pissing me off but whatever he doesn't care so screw it!!Well i got my contacts today i look majorly high because the skin around my eyes is all puffy lol and my eyes itch! i cnat believe i have something in my eyes tho lol thats a first lol! well cutting this one short so lol byes! *Rissa*
Febuary 23, 2004 || OMG Guys Suck!!
Today is monday and i had to go to school and well that didn't go to great because my new backpack killed my back like all day! I can hardly carry it around! WEll another stupid thing with jimmy i mean this is getting old but i dont have the balls to break up with him or the heart however you wanna put it! But this is what happened HE freaking lied to me about what he did after the funeral thrusday night he basically said that he was at home by 9 30pm and thats why he didn't call me! But he went to his cuzins house i dont care that he goes there anymore but dont freaking lie to me about it just to save your own ass!! Then hes sitting there acting like i am his ex gf on the phone with me!! He was just like yeh ok whatever and he said he didn't want to hear about my problems anymore i mean its like everything is always about him now n days! It sucks so bad! I mean i cant take this anymore i would rather not be with him than think that he doesn't care about me or soemthing like that! I mean and hes so immature sometimes instead of making things with people work he sits there and makes them worse by goin i wanna get off of here i wanna get off of here!! and saying bye bye bye bye like over and over again!! It gets so annoying but i dont have what it takes to break it off with him!! I mean hes supposed to call me tonight and i kinda hope he doesn't because it will gimme more courage to do what i know i need to do(break up with him). It seems like everything i do is for nothing cuz i feel like i will still be nothing to him! Well i will let ya know what happens with him calling and stuff tomorrow alrighty lol gimme ur comments on what you think i should do lol in my guestbook! LY! *Rissa*
Febuary 22, 2004 || Just Kickin It
Well today I just laid back and chilled. I am studying my Driving Book so I can go take my Permit test!! I am excited lol cuz when I get my permit my mom is gonna take me out driving! I was gonna see my bf today but noooo lol but it isn't breaking my heart it doesn't matter to me as long as i see him every 3 days! He wants to only see me like every 5 days i mean thats just stupid! If he loves me so much then he should wanna see me! Oh well i just hope he remembers that he said that when he doesn't see me for a while i mean even when we do see eachother i still have to make the plans it drives me insane its like he doesn't want to see me unless i say something well i am not saying anything anymore!! Cuz it drives me insane that i am the one who always wants to see him and he never hardly wants to see me! Well thats not gonna be my problem anymore!! Cuz it doesn't matter to me when i see him anymore!! Maybe i will be more facused on things other than him if i dont see him too often. Knowing my luck its gonna be the other way around! Well i am done lol so get at me alrighty!! Byes! *Rissa*
Febuary 20, 2004 || The Worst Days of My Life
hey, Well yesterday and today were about the worst days of my life!! Yesterday (Thursday 02/19/04) Me and my bf got into a huge freaking fight and well it just about destroyed our relationship i mean i dont think that the next time i see him i will beable to look him in the eyes! Well this is want happened His cuzins Gma died and his cuzin is a good friend of mine and well i wanted to go to the funeral that was last night and well i told jimmy this and he started acting all cocky and stuff like he was sayin things like "There's no reason for you to go" and "I dont want you to go". Well when he said he didn't want me to go i got a lil ticked cuz thats gay that he didn't wnat me to go i mean 4real but anyhow then we started to fight about it and he was acting like a total ass!! I mean he was just sitting there screaming and complaining! He called me a Bitch, Dyke and stupid in the same hour! It really pissed me off the way he said that i was stupid he said "What are Fucking Stupid or Something?" OMG i got so pissed!! He also said that he didn't love or care about me anymore! He claims today that he was just mad! I mean he totally over reacted just because i wanted to go somewhere with him or go and pay my respects! But then after we got off the phone i sat there and cried and i was thinking it was all my fault that he hated me! But then today all day i was thinking wait a second he was the one acting like a total freaking ass and running everything into the ground so why is it my fault and i found out it wasn't! well i told my momma what happened and she wants me to hang with my friends more since hes such an ass! TODAY: I was freaking out the whole day because of last night i said to myself that i wasn't gonna answer the phone if jimmy called well that worked like once i mean he called twice and the second time i answered! so i guess that plan is over! I mean i am gonna make him pay for all the stuff he did last night!! And i am gonna make that plan work! Well this thing is long enuff so ttyl BYES!! *Rissa*
Febuary 19, 2004 || The Day of All Days
Hey, Well i got this diary site off of my sister charese and well its cool i guess lol well today is like a bad day i didn't go to school because i didn't feel to good this morning i dunno if it was because i am mad or if its just a stomach bug who knows! I Just want everyone to know i do love them esp my sisters and family! ok Love, *Rissa*