November 2002 Trashes 856, 857, 858, 859 Nov. 4th Run 856 (more or less) Venue:  Bulldozer's Institute of Higher Learning A large group of Trashers took the overnight train to Bulldozer's trail of treeless terrain to be treated with no less then three trails for the would be trekkers. The official circle deemed the trip RUBBISH. A few runners noted that they only found false trails and bush running  Well laid, Bulldozer  Official Minutes from the RA's ramblings:  Subs are Due, Subs are due.  The new MisManagement Committee was introduced with a round of cold down-downs as well as the Hares Bulldozer and Hops.  What happened to the warm Kuchekuche?  As a reminder of who the MisManagement's are just in case you were talking in the circle or were late:  GP   Flaming Flemish Fetish   Kristina Culsinier   Religious Advisor Bimboy    Marcel Blankenstein  Mistress  Bubblewrap   Clair Barrault  Scribe   Uranus    Cecil McFarland  Haberdasher  Serious One   Celia Swann  Flash   Foxy G    Barbara Burgess  Nash   Dry Ice   Sheila Waterman  Help   Dance    Linda Andrews  Hare Raiser  Big John/Custodian  Roger Garside/George Bowers  ANDDDDDDDDD all is not Lost  The has been a volunteer of Beer.  So as not to scare him off his official coming out will be at Fancy Pants on November 18th.  OTHER OFFICIAL HAPPENS IN THE RA's NEST  Down-Down were awarded to:  Duracell for a name change.  The Knife for losing a fight with a box  Allison for being a newcomer  Lin and Gary for returning from somewhere.  A rug-rat for returning  Birthday for Amanda and Gus  Beechorroad relinquished the Shit Shirt to the quietest runner on the Hash - Mina  On On  Hash Trash # 857 November 11, 2002 Venue: The Eagles Nest Hare: The Eagle Cocktail Southern Cumfort Uranus Jokes are at the beginning and end of this Trash. Next weeks run is at the end.   First a word from our sponsors   Scottish dolphin colony turns on humans and mammals Scotland's only colony of bottlenose dolphins is becoming more aggressive towards humans and other marine mammals. Scientists say a shortage of fish is forcing the animals to fight harder for survival. Experts studying the normally friendly creatures in the Moray Firth say they have been bitten. Professor Monty Priede, of Aberdeen University, says the dolphins are now fighting with other species for food, killing a record number of harbour porpoises, reports The Independent. "The population of cod in the North Sea has fallen by half, and that takes away the dolphins' main source of food. It is mainly due to fishermen catching huge amounts of fish, so the dolphins are searching for other forms of food," he said. He added: "The creatures have a reputation for being cute and cuddly but they do have very sharp teeth that can cause damage." Aberdeen University is launching a three-year project to monitor the dolphins as they extend their search for food.   Bad, wasn’t it !!!     The Walk and The Run   The Eagle announced a long walk and a run with 5 splits. No one really believed the Head Hare but as the walkers, and short, medium and long runners all arrived back at nearly the same time with no daylight to spare the Hashers became true believers. The Eagle maximized the use of the hills overlooking Area 43 scattering US government secrets up and down waddies and soon to be planted maize fields. Head Walking Hare Cocktail led a charge through area 43 using very little paper. Save those trees Cocktail !!.   The Circle   Bimboy gladly took notice of the demise of the Aussies but failed to mention the outcome of the Springers game. He did announce the changing of his country of residency.   Hares of the Eagle, Cocktail, Southern Cumfort, Uranus plus the special kiddy Hare Fancy Pants received the first of the warm Khuchekhuche.   To be followed by: Crash Test Dummy/Hairy Back for returning Show Us a Leg for just being pretty Des Mahoney for being Irish and winning Bubblewrap and Hop Along for being French and winning Cathryn for being a virgin Bulldozer for having tender parts Jannie Kruger for taking on Hash Beer   Hash Shirt was shifted from the back of Mina The Quite One to The Eagle for the excessive use of paper on the run.   Namings The new GP Flaming Flemmish Fettish enjoyed her first official act as Hash GP with the naming of two long standing Hashers, Sue and Des Mahoney. Sue was appropriately christened Madam Doom because of her love for the mosies. Des was named after the most common tree in Malawi therefore will be called Stumpy.   Announcement   To Parents who brings kids to the Hash: We are a family friendly Hash but not a baby-sitting service. Your children should not be joining the runs unless they can easily finish the short section. On this Monday there were many who had considerable difficulty keeping up. Please, encourage those who can’t keep up on the short runs to join the walking group AND keep up with it.   St. Andrews Night November 29th. Capital Hotel Good Drink Good Dancing Good Fun   There will be several special tables like the Hash and the French (Hashench?)   Join one or create your own.   Next week’s run: Nov 18th Fancy Pants (Peter Killick) Mchinji Road Direction: Njewa Farm, 2 kms from Mchinji roundabout on the left (just past old AGS warehouse!)     Hash Web Site: :http://www.geocities.com/lilongwehhh Check it out for lots of good stuff and links including: Trashes Future Runs Hashers List     Actual 'Country' Song Titles...   1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 2. How Can I Miss You, If You Won't Go Away? 3. Get Your Biscuits In The Oven, And Your Buns In Bed 4. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth, 'Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye 5. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself, Or Go Bowling 6. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger 7. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly 8. I Just Bought a Car From a Guy That Stole My Girl, but The Car Don't Run; so I figure we Got An Even Deal 9. I Keep Forgetten' I Forgot About You 10. I Liked You Better, Before I Knew You So Well 11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better 12. I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 13. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight 14. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here 15. Please Bypass this Heart? 16. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now 17. Mama Get a Hammer (There's a Fly On Papa's Head) 18. My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus 19. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him L2H3            HASH TRASH   A Flat Country Run Beats the Hills of Area 43 Anytime. OR Maybe Not.   RUN #   858     November 18,  2002 Hares:  Fancy Pants                 Madame Doom                 Amanda Leach Venue:  Njewa Farm The best joke heard this week: Scotland 21 South Africa 6 Scotland joined the fun of the northern hemisphere's autumn hegemony with an ultimately comfortable victory over a desperate South Africa. In outscoring the Springboks by two tries to nil they beat them for the first time since 1969. The Run(s) Walk Under normal Hashing conditions, a Hash on the flats of the Njewa Farm is a nice break from the hills of area 43 and 10.   BUT NO, Fancy Pants devised a Hash that mirrored that of a London or New York marathon training run.  A long time crippled Hasher was heard screeching above his moans “Where’s the bloody checks?”  “We need a Hash rule requiring a minimum number of checks !!”  Oh, how quick they forget that the only rule in Hashing is THERE ARE NO RULES. The Runners and Walkers crossed each group at various parts of the farm, each group not being sure they were the ones heading in the right direction.  The medium Hare, Amanda, was quite annoyed at one crossing having lost several of her sheep.  Amanda, my dear, short cutting is a birth right of Hashing and those who do it are known as SCBs. All in all, it was a good walk-run-run and run. THE CIRCLE RA Bimboy was notably missing from his duties. The sub was a dud. The new Brew Mister, the most important position on the MisManagement committee, served up his first batch of Down-DownS to the Hares.  The attendees at the Circle were united in the chorus of “APATHETIC RUBBISH” when asked what they thought of the walks/runs.   Well done Circle Members !! Virgin Louise and Visiting Hashers DEAF DUMB & BIG were presented to the circle.  Later, many requested the phone number of the Virgin. I am sure it was to make her feel more welcome in the community.  GP Flaming Flemmish Fettish recognized one deviant Roger who was really a virgin and hadn’t cum forth.  How could the GP tell in the dark? HASH SHIT The Eagle grudgingly gave up his shirt to the winner of the Scot Contest.  No, a penny wasn’t thrown into the group to see the ensuing fight.  When one Scot drinks, all Scots drink.  Referring back to the “The best joke heard this week” at the beginning to this Trash would give most Hashers a clue as to why all the Scots were nominated for the Shit Shirt.  In true Malawian Democratic fashion, the Circle was allowed to vote and the Shirt was awarded without regard to the outcome.   Beechorroad, you lucky winner !! Announcements St. Andrews Ball.  November 29th.  To sign up for the Hash table see Uranus.  If you are too embarrassed to sit with Hashers, see one of the candidates for the Hash Shit Shirt. Next Weeks Run November 25th Show Us a Leg ( Diana White) Old Wendel's Road near Chayamba end. Area 10 The old Wendel's Road runs parallel to M 1, between Ufulu and Chayamba with Securicor on the far Ufulu end. . Doctor Dave Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't.  The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. So just let it go..." But invariably the other voice would always bring him back to reality: "Dave, you're a vet..." L2H3 web site http://www.geocities.com/lilongwehhh/ L2H3  HASH TRASH  Annual Run to Hail the First Rains Or Wet Tee Shirt Run for New Hashers  Run Number 859  November 25, 2002  Hares: Show Me a Leg (or a wet WHITE tee shirt) Mac the Knife Fly Me Away (Lindsay) Tickler (Katie FRENCH)  Venue:  Old Wendel's Road, Area 43  Have you paid your Hash Sub Today?  CHINESE PROVERBS Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted.  The Walk and Run Knowing that no Hash is ever rained out, a reasonable hoard of seasoned veteran Hashers understood the directions (not easy for a Hasher) to Show Me a Leg's venue. Ever quick to anticipate the impact of RAIN on Hashers moods, Mac the Knife preempted the torrents to come and sent the walkers and runners on their mary way The Walkers, always wise to Lilongwe's skies, marched out sunshades in tow but finding none, protected their heads from the monsoons and goosed the walkers in front as they following the muddying trails around Capital Hill. The Runners, quick to sniff out a run set to maximize the effects of rain, headed deep into Attack Forest. (aka) Capital Hill Game Reserve. Honoring the request vocalized during last weeks run, Circle Holding Checks were located at every Y, Fork, T-Junction, and goober crossing. At the Medium (aka Short) split, Show Me marched off (on the Run?) towards ??? and the Long runners, fearing the worst, searched for short cut that just might lead back to home and a warm beer. But No. The Hares had more in mind. Both groups were escorted to a dry benchless Chinese Pagoda for --- ??? Beer? A rest stop?? Dry tee shirt?? Wet Tee shirt !!!! We are still awaiting for a WHY? Then, the tune when out “ ON ON” Back into the rains, more slippery trails, and a mad dash back to the Hares Hut. Good Run Good Walk Well done Hares  THE CIRCLE RA Bimboy, notably missing from his duties last week, made it at least to the Circle this week. With the rains still falling the Circle formed nicely and tightly together in the garage. Down Downs were quickly dispensed to the Hares. Newcumers, virgins and returnees were called forth. Not being sure who were newbies and which were the Virgins, Jan (?) the new flyboy, Marie and Keith Kiwis having truly Hashed in rain in the Solomon Islands, Ulf, the pot hole filler with NRA and Yuki a notable returnee got to taste the cold smooth suds of a Green. Deviants: GP, and the Camp Town Ladies of Laura and Sue for being late AND running anyway !! GP, surely you didn't run ?? Diviner for being a scandalmonger Winner of the Wet Tee Shirt Contest. Tickler  Next Weeks Run December 2th Hash Dance (Linda Andrews) and she quickly reminded Hash why Women can't give directions. Directions for the Men: GPS readings 13 degrees 55 minutes 8457 seconds by 33 degrees 45 minutes 8910 seconds East of Greenwich. Direction for the Ladies: 10/358 Area 10, -Take Cheyamba east, left on Blantyre, first right (no name street but referred to Ambassador's Row ) fourth left, venue is on the right going down the hill towards BHCers residence.