Truth
aint it a bitch?
This is where I will finally share myself, my feelings and my tears with the world. Matt.... this was a problem- here are the emails he sent me, and (of course) my replies...... broken hearted even if I didn't see it coming.
LETTER NUMBER ONE: MATT --> ME
Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2003 20:14:26 -0700 (Pacific Daylight Time)
From: "Matthew Drobny"
Subject: reply on the last message u sent me
Well i had no idea u dumped me cuz u liked Jared, i thought it was cuz we lived too far away. Well as you all ready know I am going out with Jillian. And well yeah she's hot, way hotter than u anyways. LOL (sry bout that lol) well, u seem too have GREAT relationstips (sarcasm)!!! I am on AIM alot too, idk where u have been?? welll this is what Sebastian has to say about you:
ssss4ssss4ssss: christine was a fuckin' slut, ugly too
lol well i guess thats his $0.2
Hope too see you some day...,
Matthew Drobny ~Paintball 101~
LETTER NUMBER TWO: MATT --> ME
Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2003 20:37:09 -0700 (Pacific Daylight Time)
From: "Matthew Drobny"
To: "Christine"
Subject: Ummmmmmm New News for meee lol LOL lol LOL lol LOL lol LOL lol LOL
well this is know for me but kel sez so so yeah
beachbabes04: uhhhhhhhhhh lol well i dont go to her hs but i went to her old skewl and no1 liked her ther and every1 thought she was ugly
beachbabes04: i dunno bout her new skewl
Sounds like great fun 4 u lol j/k
Matthew Drobny
LETTER NUMBER 3: ME --> MATT
Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 06:24:36 -0700 (PDT) ok im gonna ignore the fact that ur being sucha bastard- grow the fuck up man- i never did any of this shit 2 u- no where near. i didn't fucking dump u bcuz i liked jarred- it was cuz of the distance- i still liked u. fuck i didnt want 2 tell u but fuck. ok heres one of my complex emotions lets c if its not 2 fuckin complex for u- i liked u. i didn't want to bcuz i knew that it was going 2 bite me in the ass (exhibit a- this email, exhibit b- my rival's words to u- y the fuck would u say something like that? i can't believe u matthew) so i convinced myself to like jarred. i never loved him, i never even thought he was cute, i just figured "ok heres a guy who'll never like me, so i have no commitment or any of this crap- i just need a dorko crush to get my mind off matthew'' well then outta the blue amy asks me if i like him and i say yea, like y not share, who cares. then he asks me out. big problem, cuz i never liked him. ok man do u fuckin get it??? i didn't fucking dump you for fucking jarred. but im really glad for u, cuz now instead of going out with the fucking fat ugly loser u obviously c me as, ur going out with gorgeous, same age as you jill. and i was happy for u- i fuckin did all that work 2 set u 2 up cuz i wanted u 2 b happy even tho i was jealous. ok fuck that i was fucking jealous. i dont know what the fuck to say here man i really truly don't. but once again, me liking u has bitten me in the fucking ass. all i have 2 ask from u is 2 tiny little things: 1) a lotta people insult me- theres a reason i always had 2 ask u and was paranoid u were cheating on me- bcuz all my "friends" do it- i dunno wat ne1 else said. kel and i used 2 fight a lot- she still hates me, but i thought the rest were my friends, guess they're just my "friends" look at sebastien man. so don't tell me, please. 2) grow up. think about what u just fucking wrote me. think about me sitting in front of my computer crying bcuz u didn't understand what was going on. matt i cant believe this is u, cuz it totally doesn't seem like it. whatever- u fucking lied to me that whole time "yea i like u, ur hot" i can't believe i was such a fucking idiot. fuck man, im such a fucking shithead. fuck this. LETTER NUMBER 4: MATT --> ME Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2003 21:51:03 -0700 1) I dont think "ur a fat ugly loser" THE FINALE: WHAT I SCRIBBLED DOWN In independent learning, I checked my email. My eyes glanced down to Matt's email which I never replied to. I typed this, but I couldn't send it... here is my undeveloped thoughts.... for you to judge me on. ok hi- i really honestly could not work up the guts to talk to ya until now... i still really dont know what to say... but i guess i'll try even tho an email can never really convey my true feelings. mmm... u knew what u were doing... i dont really care... ok yea i totally do. but i guess i can understand if u were pissed off i guess. but ... well dude why would u tell me that (even if u dont agree) that sum1 thinks im fat/ugly/dumb watev. thats not cool. but i get it- u didnt freaking get it... i need to talk to u... but i cant. i picked up the phone... i can't send this email... i really can't. but... matt i don't get this... i really wish that i could....whats wrong? jill said you were mad at her- brushing her off. i hope its not me...matt... i wish i could figure this out... matthew... i dont know... i need to see you... but i cant because you live so far away... but thats why we broke up... but... i dunno... now i go thourgh my weekly/daily meaningless crushes, each one i fall for harder than the rest...but i dont. im lieings to myself... im too confused. im not replying to your email obviously... i couldn't hit send... i dont know what to say,,. but my real friends have sat here with me and listened to me cry0 they know what you've done to me... they watched me moan and they talked to me and they told me not to worry about some jackass i dumped... but no. for once i cannot grab the reins and take control of my own life... you've really truly hit a nail... this isn't my drama queen... this is me, being hurt... but thats ok- because no matter how hard u hurt me i guess i will survive... thanx for making me a fighter, all that christina aguilera crap... dont rub salt in my wounds... hmmm... well now im going to run my heart out with my friends and shake my ass to christina's cd, but ill be thinking about you the whole time... i know that tonight ill go to bed with you running through my mind... have you ever heard that pick up line"do your feet hurt? cuz you've been running through my mind all day and night..." well thats kinda true... well now i dont know what i should do... this is all... iim going to go now... im in pain... but happy times are coming...someday...soon... ill clikc my heels three times and wish my heart out but this is the real world.... the real world...as fake as it gets
From: "Christine Karavas"
Subject: i cant believe you
To: "Matthew Drobny"
From: "Matthew Drobny"
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: i cant believe you
2) The quotes that i sent you I DID NOT SAY! I mearly copied it out of the conversation I had with that person. Please understand that, that is not my oppinion but the perticular person's that was shown before the text.
I am sorry if you did not understand that, and it was offensive to you. If I am mistaken in your oppinion, please tell me. I dont know why you are mad.
Matthew Drobny
