XXL MAG 4
XXL: But we've seen unfortunately what's happened to so many other
rappers...

Shyne: Not so many, just Big and 'Pac. Those is two isolated
incidents, it ain't like ten niggas done died from murder. It was
only two niggas.

XXL: I mean, putting aside rap, it's just the sad truth: Rich people
aren't immune. You could have any kind of success. I mean, Marvin
Gaye was killed by his own father-

Shyne: That's real, dog.

XXL: Kurt Cobain killed himself. Violence seems to be something in
America we can't escape.

Shyne: I'm Glad you made that point, man, 'cause like niggas is
lookin' at me, man. I tell them little niggas out there, "You don't
need no burner, man. You don't need to end up in the position I end
up in. Go the other way, man. It ain't worth having your mother up in
there broken up."
And that's why I was so fucked up, dog, 'cause I never went looking
for trouble, man. I wasn't that little nigga out there wildin' out,
dumbin' out, like, "Yeah yeah yeah. I got something to prove, man."
I was in juvenile homes since I was 11, man. I was carrying and do
all that shit: 11, 10, 13. I was in the fuckin' kitchen with my
cousin cuttin' up crack when I was nine, nigga. When New Jack City
first came out. So I'm here thinking, "Yo, I got a record deal. I'm
straight. I'm clean. I could just sit back, go to the studio and live
my dream." So when that shit happened I'm like, "Yo, what the fuck?"
Like, "Damn, what I gotta do?" I yelled out, "I don't want to die
neither."
Here come your life right here: Nigga can't go to the studio no
more 'cause niggas shot at you, so what you gonna do? I ain't got no
paper. I can't afford no security guard. You understand?

XXL: I understand. But in light of what you're saying, what made you
go out to Club New York that night? Did you just feel like everything
was gonna be OK?

Shyne: It was the day after Christmas, everybody was like "Yo, we
goin' up in there." I don't know what's gonna happen, man. That shit
fucked me up, dog. You understand when a nigga... I don't know if you
understand, dog. It's one thing when you live by the gun, you die by
the gun. But it's another thing when you're living by your pen, and
then niggas is trying to get at you.

XXL: Don't you think it's probably just jealousy?

Shyne: Whatever it was, dog, when it happened, you ain't thinkin'
about all that. You thinkin' about survivin', dog. I went back to
square one. I went back to when I was on the block and the nigga I
had beef with lived right next door. And when I had to walk outside
every day, how it had to go down. I went back to sitting on the
corner and the nigga passed by, and my man just looked at him funny
and said whatever, and the nigga came back 10 minutes later with a
Tec-9-we like 13, 14, ya understand?-and blasted the nigga right in
front of me, murked the nigga. This nigga sittin' up, having
convulsions on the flo', dead. I'm like, "Oh shit, we back here? I
thought I left that." I'm thinkin' 'bout when I was lying there in
the fuckin' pool of blood, my shoulder ripped off, taking myself to
hospital, you understand? I'm like, "Yo, how we got back here?"

XXL: You had that flashback in front of Daddy's House or in Club New
York?

Shyne: I had that flashback up until the incident happened. I wasa
scared to death, man. When you on the war ground it's like you immune
to it. But when you ain't been there so long and you left it alone,
you caught off guard.
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