| The Real Latino Heat by Lilly V It all began one night on Raw. Eddie was so disgruntled over Jericho putting him out of action for so long that he devised the perfect plan. Jump him before his intro. As the countdown was progressing, Latino Heat jumped out at Jericho with a steel chair. However, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla managed to shoved him away, just as the pyro was going off. Luckily Eddie managed to avoid major burns to his skin. His mullet, however, was not so lucky. His hair caught fire. And he didn't notice. Heading backstage after his failed ambush, he noticed Lita preparing to go to the ring for the mixed tag match. He decided to take advantage of the fact that Matt was nowhere in sight. "'Ey, Lita, mamasita! How's it going?" The red head paused. "Um...Eddie, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but you're on fire." "I know, it's because I'm Latino Heat baby. Is this enough Heat for you, or is it too much?" "No, Eddie, really, your hair is flaming." "I know I've got great hair, baby. You interested?" "No...I want to put your hair out..." "I never heard that one before. Interesting..." "Look, Eddie, I've gotta go..." "See ya later mamasita..." he waved. As he left, Lita turned to Chyna. "Should we tell someone to help him?" Eddie's former Mamacita shook her head. "Nah. It's too damn funny this way." Eddie wandered into the Radicalz dressing room. "Hey, Dean, \Perry, Terri, Chris, how's it going essas?" "Ed-die," Benoit began. "You are...on fi-re." "I know man. My jumping Jericho was brilliant, huh?" Dean jumped in. "No, really Eddie, you're on fire. Your hair is burning." "Man, I know my hair is hot. I'm Latino Heat." Terri jumped up. "Eddie, you are burning!" "Wait your turn mamasita..." Eddie reached up to fix his mullet and suddenly realized what everyone had been trying to tell him. His hair was on fire. "MY HEAD IS ON FIRE! MY HEAD IS ON FIRE! MY HEAD IS ON FIRE!" He began screaming. Perry just stared at him. "What should we do?" "PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!" "With what?" Dean asked. "Ter-ri's dress." Benoit suggested. "Are you kidding?" Terri squealed. "SHE'S RIGHT, THERE'S NOT ENOUGH OF IT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!" Eddie shrieked. "SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GETTING REAL HELP!" And he ran from the room still yelling "MY HEAD IS ON FIRE! MY HEAD IS ON FIRE!" Unfortunately, the first person he met was Trish Startus. "Oh, Eddie! I'll put it out with my boot!" Trish proceeded to remove her foot wear and beat Eddie over the head with it. "You moron!" Chyna yelled from behind her, "that's not going to do anything." "Well, I've gotta try something!" the blonde replied indignantly. "You're doing it wrong!" Christian told her. "You've gotta use a steal chair!" And so he did. Eddie lay on the floor, his head still in flames. "Ooooh..." he groaned. "Well, damn, it always works on Edge and Kurt..." Christian pondered. "My head..." Eddie groaned. "It's still burning," Chyna informed him. "WELL DO SOMETHING!!" Eddie screamed. "Hmmm....hey, someone get the Dudleyz!" Chyna yelled. Bubba Ray and D'Von came running into the hallway. Bubba turned to D'Von. "D'Von!" he yelled. Eddie gulped. "Yeah?" D'Von answered. "GET THE TABLES!" Bubba yelled. Eddie struggled to sit up. "What good's that going to do?" Bubba shrugged. "I dunno, sounds like fun." He stood Eddie upand prepared him for the 3D. Following his trip through a table, Eddie lay on the floor, hiseyes rolling. Chyna looked down at him. "Well, whadda ya know, it worked!" "It's out?" Eddie asked. "Just smoldering a little," Trish said, cheerfully. "Ooow...." Eddie responded. Austin suddenly stopped at the scene. "Hey, I can pour some beer on that, try and put it out.." he tipped his can over and let the contents spill onto Eddie's head. And the alcohol in the beer immediately caused Latino Heat's hair to flame up again. " MY HEAD IS ON FIRE! MY HEAD IS ON FIRE!" he jumped up and screamed again. As he was running down the hallway, he ran smack into Kane, who shrieked and ran from the flaming wrestler. After Eddie had passed by, the only thing the Big Red Machine could think was <<Great, now Rikishi's sending Kamikaze Radicalz after me>>. Eddie ran out of the arena that night, never to be seen again. And nobody really noticed. |