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Chapter Five: Soap, Truths, and Herbal Tea

When one admits that nothing is certain one must, I think, also admit that some things are much more nearly certain than others.

Bertrand Russell (1872 – 1970)

“Whoa!” Buffy exclaimed jumping up from her seat, eyes bugging out of her head. “What are you trying to say? I am not hot, in heat, or anything for any kind of vampire, and certainly not Spike. No way! Gah, I don't think so!” Turning a frantic eye towards her watcher, Buffy pleaded for a rational answer.

“Giles, tell her,” Buffy frantically waved her hands in Anya's direction, “Please tell Anya that this is so from the truth that it isn't funny. I'm the Slayer, I don't do vampires!”

The remaining occupants of the room stopped to stare at Buffy, baffled by what just came from her lips. False coughs and muttered voices objected to her claim.

'Sleep with one vampire...er...two vampires and they never let you hear the end of it.'

“I'm sorry, Buffy, but the facts are the facts. Hey, if you can't handle it then that's not my fault. No slaying the messenger,” Anya pointed out in a huff.

Giles cleared his throat, turning to face Anya before speaking. “Anya, are you quite sure of this information? Dare I say, I have heard none of this from the Council. Nor have I come across any Watcher's journals describing a pregnant Slayer. And certainly nothing to indicate one being impregnated by a vampire.” The last part he stated in disgust.

Anya released an exaggerated sigh before pressing forward. “Do you really think the Council would readily share information like this? A pregnant Slayer whose baby was fathered by a vampire is not something they would want getting out. I mean, they make it their mission to kill demons, why would they want that bit of news common knowledge? Think Giles, god!”

Giles reflected over the many times Travers kept him out of the loop, especially with regards to his Slayer. So, why was it so far fetched for him to believe that the higher ups in the Council would keep such a thing secret? Surely there had to be records – somewhere - but where to start? There was some serious research to be done. The Watcher filed that bit of information away to ponder over at a later date, and focused his attention back on the group.

“Well, maybe it could be some kind of spell, or curse, or something,” Willow offered, looking around the room and giving Buffy an apologetic look before continuing. “Tara and I could do a reveal spell, see what we can find.”

“Great merciful Zeus, why didn't I think of that? A spell, it's gotta be a spell! Not like Buffy would ever sleep with Spike out of her own free will. He has to be the cause of it!” Xander all but shot from his chair, jittery with excitement at his revelation.

“Xander, I really don't think it's a spell,” Giles countered, rubbing a hand over his weary face. He was feeling quite tired and starting to need a drink.

“Xander, have you heard a word I said?” Anya glared at her boyfriend. “This is all genetics, hormones... lust. No magic what-so-ever.”

“Well, we have to do something, Ahn! I mean...we just can't sit back and let Buffy give birth to the hell spawn of Spike!” Xander shouted, trying to get his point across.

“Y-yes, well, we can't sit back and let this...this thing take place. Who knows what the implications could be. Or what kind of offspring this pregnancy will produce,” Giles added before pouring himself a cup of tea.

Buffy just sat on the sofa feeling numb, head buried in her hands and trying to absorb the news. She listened to her watcher and so-called friends speak about her as if she was some lab experiment, to be disposed of if the desired results were not forthcoming. Willow sat beside her, rubbing her back in soothing circles. Buffy wasn't sure how she felt about the contact, not with Willow's slight betrayal still fresh in her mind.

Tara's timid voice broke through the air, startling everyone in the room.

“Sh-shouldn't we a-a-ask Buffy what she wants to do? I m-m-mean, it is her body, her choice,” she stuttered, hating how it came back when she was nervous. Tara had surprised herself with her defense of the Slayer.

Buffy lifted her head, sending Tara a grateful smile before turning her eyes on the room. She took in the expectant looks of her friends and Watcher. Buffy once again found herself building up the resolve to press forward.

She desperately wanted, above all else, Giles' approval. Since their first meeting in the library all those years ago, he had become more than just some uptight, stuffy British guy who was destined to be her watcher. He had become a father figure to her – no, he had become her father in all sense of the word, the only thing lacking was the DNA. She so needed him to understand her position, and her reasons for doing what she planned to do. Buffy hoped and prayed to whoever was listening to hear her unvoiced plea for Giles to give her what she needed from him.

“Yeah, see I already thought about that, taking the whole human to demon ratio into consideration and everything. But the fact is I'm the Slayer. I protect the innocent. No matter how evil the father may be, this baby is innocent and had nothing to do with its conception. No matter how wrong or wiggy it might be for a Slayer to be carrying a baby fathered by a vampire...I'm going through with it. I”m keeping my baby.” Buffy's statement left no room for discussion. It felt as if a ton of bricks had been lifted from her shoulders, and Buffy found herself holding her head higher in light of her revelation.

Tara breathed a sigh of relief, proud that Buffy had stood her ground. She would have supported Buffy either way. But being a child of Gaya, she couldn't justify the killing of a baby for any reason. Anya couldn't help the small flutter she felt in her stomach, she would have to ponder on that feeling later as she had no idea what it meant at the moment. Giles placed his teacup down mumbling about needing something stronger, and then retreated to his kitchen in search of it. Xander just looked on in disbelief, an unreadable expression settling over his face.

“I'm sorry, Buff, but would you mind saying that again? Because I thought I heard you say you were keeping it.” Xander stuck a finger in his ear, giving it a wriggle before removing it.

“Yes, Xander. You heard right.” Buffy wanted to get angry - but she'd expected this to happen - hadn't she? So why was she somewhat surprised by Xander's reaction? Could he honestly sit there and think he could run her life, and she would go along with it all hum-de-dum? Not too likely, buster! Wasn't that one of the reasons she resented Angel so much? Because he'd done just that, tried to dictate her life and choose what was best for her… without bothering to send her the memo.

Xander processed the words, his face darkening and body becoming tense. “Are you out of you mind, Buffy? Are you insane? Do small, purple elephants dance around in your head?” Xander held his hand to halt her response. “No, you know what, just save it. I don't want to hear your reasoning again.”

Giles returned, firmly gripping a bottle containing amber liquid, just in time to hear the heated exchange. He watched in silence as Xander stormed to the front door. The brunette rested his hand on the doorknob, turning his head slightly in response to the voice calling after him.

“Xander Harris, you get back here and apologize to Buffy this instant! What you said is just mean, and rude, and-and uncalled for!” Willow shouted, her face turning the same color as her locks. Her skin flushed with anger, she couldn't believe the way her childhood friend had responded. Rage against the creatures that caused the death of your best friend was one thing, but to go after the one being chosen to protect you from them was majorly not of the good.

Whipping the door open, Xander turned. “You really are twisted, Buffy. First Angel, and now Spike,” he said disdainfully before laughing humorlessly. “And anyone who supports you is just as sick!” He followed up with a glance around the room to drive his point home. Slamming the front door closed behind him, he stomped off into the night.

“Well, that was... well,” Giles numbly muttered, at a loss for words. He quickly gulped down his glass of scotch.

“Buffy, I'm sorry for his rude comments. It's safe to say Xander will not be getting any orgasms for a whole week,” Anya noted, a hint of concern for her friend crossing her face.

Buffy didn't respond; she was trying really hard not to show had badly Xander's harsh words affected her, but damn, those hormones just wouldn't leave her alone. Cheeks wet from her silently shed tears, Buffy sniffed to stop her runny nose, announcing to the room her current state of emotions.

“Buffy, it's okay, don't cry,” Willow soothed, rubbing her hand up and down her friend's arm.

“No, Wills, it's not okay.” Buffy sniffed again, before wiping at her cheeks. “I'm tired, and hungry. But I can't eat, because every time I do my stomach rebels. My head hurts, and I really have to pee. You know, I pee all the time now. Do you have any idea how hard that is with patrolling? And look, I drove Giles to drink,” she concluded, pointing at the older man. Giles had the grace to look abashed, placing the bottle and empty glass down on the coffee table.

“I assure you, it wasn't any fault of your own, Buffy,” he reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a light pat.

“I can make you some herbal tea that will help settle your stomach, and you'll be a-able to eat,” Tara offered.

“No offense, Tara, but my mom did the whole herbal tea last week with me. And let's just say, me and herbal tea...not too mixy. Just made me sicker.” Buffy recalled the experience scrunching up her nose.

“Oh, no, b-believe me, this will help. It's made just for nausea and will make your tummy a happy tummy. It won't take long I can make it here. If Mr. Giles will let me use his kitchen?”

“Yes, please, help yourself.” Giles offered with a wary smile.

The room once again fell into silence, as everyone was lost to their own thoughts. Giles was contemplating another drink, when Buffy's hand came into view removing the bottle from the table. “Giles, I need you all clear headed, not all friendly with the scotch.”

Sighing, Giles resigned himself to a night of sobriety, not just for Buffy but for himself as well. She was right; he needed a clear head if he was going to figure all this out. Plus he had a phone call to make.

“So, Buffy, what was Spike's reaction to the news of his impending fatherhood?”

'Oh, busted!' Buffy inwardly cringed, why was everyone suddenly all worried about Spike's feelings and thoughts on the matter?

“Yeah, well, Spike doesn't know. And I plan on keeping it that way. Don't give me that look, Giles; I have the right not to tell him. And I plan on enforcing that right.” Buffy was on the defensive again, crossing her arms over her chest, not wanting to hear Giles rebuttal.

“Yes, well... as much as I loathe this, Spike does have the right to know that he is going to be a father. Might I add, especially with you being the Slayer, I don't know how you're going to keep this from any demon let alone a vampire.”

“Not like he can't count. Add a growing waist line, and no period, he'll know, Buffy,” Anya pointed out.

“Wha-what? How would Spike know when I have my periods?” Buffy paused, recalling that one lesson where Giles insisted she pay attention. He had explained how vampires possessed heightened senses; able to detect the faintest of injuries, spilled blood, etcetera.

“Ewww, that's just gross. But I see your point. There's gotta be a way for me to conceal this pregnancy.”

Willow's eyes grew wide with excitement as a spell popped into her head. “I think Tara and I can help you on the concealing front. I know a spell of protection; I actually came across it a few weeks back. Kinda filed it away for a rainy day when one of us would need it. So we could do it tomorrow, if that's all right with you?”

“What will the spell do? 'Cause not to bash your spell casting ability, it's just, you know, Willow and spells don't go too well together.” Buffy didn't want to say what she was thinking, but the spell sounded like the answer to her prayers. Just one problem - Willow.

Willow felt hurt for a moment before she pushed it away. “It wouldn't just be me, Tara would be helping. I wouldn't dare try this without help, I couldn't live with myself it something bad happened,” she insisted, turning pleading eyes to Giles for support.

“I don't see anything wrong with a spell of protection as long as Tara is helping.”

With her watcher's stamp of approval, Buffy agreed.

“I'll need to stop by the Magic Box for some herbs before we can do the spell. Oh, and get all the information you'll need in regards to the spell.”

“You will be paying for the herbs, right?” Anya asked, her ears perking up at the mention of her shop. “Because I'll have you know I don't take kindly to moochers.”

“Yes, Anya, I will pay with money.” Willow commented off handedly, going over the list in her head.

“Well, I need to make a stop to the little girl's room, be right back,” Buffy excused herself.

“I'm going to leave now. I want to make sure Xander gets home safely.” Anya announced, retrieving a set of keys from her jeans pocket. “If I hurry I'll drive past him on the way.”

“Oh, Anya left, went to go drive down Xander.” Willow supplied with a devious smile when Buffy returned five minutes later. She was thinking about how nice it would be to actually run Xander over for what he said.

“Just don't. There's no excuse for the way he reacted tonight, no matter how upset he is.” Buffy quickly changed the subject. “ And why didn't you tell me about this miracle tea?”

“Honest, I had no idea. If I had known I would have whipped up a batch for you a week ago. And sorry about the whole reveal spell. You know how me and research are, when the research wagon pulls in I'm all enthusiastic Willow. It was completely unintentional,” Willow babbled, mentally adding an order of “forgive me” chocolate chip cookies to her list.

“I know. You've been nothing but 'support-o-girl' this whole time, and I thank you for it. I would be a big pile of indecisiveness without you.”

“I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but what does your mother think of all this Buffy?” Giles couldn't help but wonder, pinning the blonde with a look.

Buffy could feel herself starting to fidget once again under the intensity of his gaze. Rolling her eyes, she sighed, “Well, I haven't told her just yet. But I will, I promise.”

“Well, I'm one to always say there's no time like the present.”

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Buffy, Tara, and Willow left Giles flat with a borrowed thermos full of herbal tea. Buffy had drunk a cup before leaving, and was feeling a lot better. The peppermint and chamomile had worked wonders on her stomach. It was no longer flipping all over the place.

“So, are you coming back with us?” Willow asked as they walked.

“Nah, I think Giles was right. My mom has the right to know she's going to be a grandparent. I really should have told her first, instead of being all chicken and stuff. Better go get this out of the way before Xander goes marching in on his high horse of “morals” and spills the beans.”

“Well, would you like us to go with you for support?” Tara offered sheepishly.

“I'm cool. I rather not have a audience for this.”

“Yeah, but your mom could always surprise you. Remember when Angel told her you two had had sex? She was all calm, cool, and collected, no yelling there,” Willow remembered.

“Remember when I told her I was the Slayer? Much yelling, and fighting, and a slap thrown in.” Buffy tossed in, shivering at the memory.

“Well, look on the bright side. If you get kicked out the house this time, you at least have some place to go. So no running off to L.A.!”

Buffy laughed with Willow as Tara just looked on in bewilderment.

“Oh, I'll explain later,” Willow told Tara, as the three stopped their trek home.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you guys back to campus?”

“No, We'll be fine, and you have something important to do.” Willow scolded the Slayer playfully.

“Yeah, I guess you're right. No time like the now. I'm going, see?” Buffy turned in the direction of Revello Drive. The three hugged, and Buffy watched the wicca and witch walk away until out of sight. With a sigh she headed to her home.

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Standing outside the front door, Buffy glanced at her watch; a bit past eleven. She could see the shadows of the TV dancing along the curtains in the darkened living room - Joyce was still awake. Buffy just hoped her mom's reaction didn't rival Xander's.

Dawn was off to bed, and Joyce was comfortable on the sofa when she heard keys in the front door. She was puzzled as to why Buffy was visiting at this late hour.

Buffy opened the door, offered up a demure smile, and then closed and locked the door behind her.

“Hey, Mom,” the Slayer waved, feeling much like she got caught sneaking in on a school night.

“Buffy? Not that I'm against seeing you, but why are you here and not at your dorm?”

“Oh, well I was at Giles’, all with the research, and then a thought dawned on me - I'm in the neighborhood why not visit mom?”

Joyce stared at Buffy, regarding her with trepidation. “What's this really about Buffy?”

“Am I that see through?” Buffy paused to wave her hand in front of her face before continuing. “Can... can we talk, like serious talk?” Buffy gestured towards the living room as she walked towards the couch.

Joyce followed her daughter into the living room, sitting next to her. Some silent moments passed between them, as Buffy tried to collect her thoughts. This really was going to be one of the hardest things she'd ever told her mother.

“Are we going to talk, or am I going to have to drag it out of you?” Joyce forcefully asked.

Buffy flinched at her mother's tone before pressing forward. “Well, I...I really don't know how to start. It's just...I have this news. I don't think it's the end of the world bad news, but it's still kind of bad. And I've had a hectic night, with yelling and fighting and Xander walking out on me.” Buffy paused, playing with the lid of her borrowed thermos.

Joyce watched her, Buffy was babbling - that never really led to anything goood. “What's in there?” Joyce gestured at the container.

“Oh, this? It's tea, for my stomach.”

“Okay, Buffy, I'm going to go out on a limb here and going to guess what's the matter, since you seem to be having such a hard time communicating. Now, if I am right I expect you to tell me,” Joyce waited for Buffy's nod of agreement, then continued.

“I know you. I've been with you since birth, even when you think you’re hiding things from me. Well, you did pull one over on me with the whole Chosen One thing, but not other times. I bandaged your scrapes when you were little, nursed you back to health when you got sick, so I know when something is wrong. So, it's only natural for me to know that you're pregnant. I was just waiting for you to tell me.”

Buffy sat there with a stunned look on her face - mouth agape. She knew, her mother knew and she let her sit there and sweat it out. Gaining some form of coherent thought Buffy opened her mouth, “Ho-how did you know?”

Joyce let out a small chuckle, “I maybe old Buffy, but I'm not dumb. You can hardly eat, your morning trips to the bathroom. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.”

“Oh,” was all Buffy could offer as a reply.

“And unless the laws of morning sickness have changed since I was pregnant with you and your sister, I'm assuming Riley isn't the father.”

“Your assumption is correct, Riley is so not the father.” Buffy noted with a nervous smile. Here it was, her mother would be waiting for the “who is the daddy” answer. Maybe it wasn't too late for the floor to swallow Buffy whole - was that too much to wish for?

“Good news, you know him! Bad news, he's dead.” Buffy tried to put a light spin on the answer.

“I know him but he's dead? He died recently?”

“No, he's been dead for a while now.” Buffy hesitated, still fidgeting with the thermos. “I know you're going to have a massive coronary, so I'm not even going to ask you not to.”

“Buffy.” Joyce sent a warning to her daughter. This was important; she needed to know who the father of her unborn grandchild.

Squaring her shoulders, Buffy confessed, “Spike. As hard as it sounds and for one to believe, the baby is Spike's.”

The first reaction Joyce had was to laugh, because this clearly had to be a joke. But why would Buffy lie about something like that? Looking at her eldest daughter, she knew it wasn't a joke. Joyce was confused; and confusion with Joyce never sat comfortably.

Rising from her seat Joyce starting pacing the floor, looking much the way Giles had earlier in the evening. “Buffy... I... when, how, and why? Another one! Wasn't Angel enough? Didn't you learn from your mistake with him? Spike's not going to show up and try to kill us now, is he?”

“No, mom, he's not going to go all Spikulus on us. Angel lost his soul; Spike doesn't have a soul to lose. And he's got that chip, so he can't hurt people. He's a neutered vamp. And I'm not involved with him. Eww, much? It was one night, a...a slip up on my part, and here I am, all pregnant Buffy. Next time I'm upset over your physical well-being I'll talk to you about it,” she concluded, staring at Joyce.

Joyce looked away from Buffy and continued her pacing; it was helping her think. Buffy's eyes tracked her, and all she could think was, 'Please don't drink. Please don't drink. Please don't drink.'

After a few moments Joyce sat back down beside Buffy, and to the Slayer's relief, no drink in hand.

“Well, are you going to keep it?” Joyce asked, apprehension laced her voice.

“Yeah, I'm keeping it. And before you ask, no Spike doesn't know, and I don't plan on telling him either. Besides, what would he want with a baby anyway?”

“I thought vampires couldn't have children? Was I wrong in my thinking?” Joyce was puzzled by this revelation.

“Normally they can't. But for some reason, an over sight when the first Slayer was created, those magic guys forgot to remove this gene thing-y. So for some reason I can only get pregnant by a vampire.”

“Oh, well. Oh. Only by a vampire?”

“It looks that way. And I'm getting this from a reliable source.” Buffy shrugged, because hey, Anya was reliable.

“Is this even safe, the pregnancy I mean? And really, Buffy, you’d have me believe that you would sleep with someone whom you supposedly despise for what reason?”

“No, I'm not one hundred percent sure that this will be a 'normal' pregnancy. But what part of my life has ever been normal? I can just hope that this baby is okay.” Buffy paused before pressing forward. “Hello, Spike has tried to kill me, oh I don't know, a couple of hundred times. So I think I can despise him... to a point.”

Joyce gave Buffy a look before speaking. “I thought I taught you better than that, you don't go around using people, even if said people are vampires.”

“It was mutual using mom, no feelings involved, no one got hurt.”

Not wishing to proceed further into an argument, Joyce dropped the subject all together. “Well, it's late. Why don't you stay here and get some rest? I'll drive you to campus in the morning.”

“Thanks, mom.”

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