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| Ray, Sometimes I pretend I'm back there again. Living in the then, not the now. Back to you and us. In the time before you went away. Sometimes it's hard, because the now jumps into my mind... making it impossible to pretend that you never left.... Why did you leave? You always said you would, but I really didn't believe you. It seems almost prophetic. How did you know? Don't you know how hard it was for me? Sometimes I can still feel the exact moment I knew you were gone. Like the years in between then and now never existed. For brief moments my being feels your loss fresh and new. I don't know how to tell you how I feel...... but I hope you know. I love you. |
| Sometimes I dream about you. I love it when that happens, because it is so real. The NOW doesn't jump into my mind, making it untrue.. And I can just be with you. Hugging you, and telling you how much I love you. And you tell me you love me too. I can almost feel your feel. Smell your smell. I wake up, and I feel as if it really happened. It was real. And I still feel you. |
| Do you remember the last time we hugged? You were gone, so lifeless and still. But were you Really Gone? I can't help but feel as if you at least looked back on me as you were leaving. I wonder if you felt sorry for me... or if you were just thinking about what it's going to be like to cross dimensions.... I hugged you goodbye. It was you, but you were gone. I hugged you anyway. I tried to feel you then, and forever. I didn't want to lose that moment, ever. |
| do you feel me loving you? i love you... i miss you so much. .... i want to see you. sometimes i imagine you standing there right in front of me. i use my super powers to try to transform my thoughts of you into matter. it hasn't worked yet. but i really want to see you one more time. i want to hug you, not in my dreams, but right here in the middle of my reality. are you still there? do you still feel me? i miss you, rayaldo, please let these years be just bad dreams, and come back. i love you always... to eternity and now.. lilly~ (your little bit). |
| My biggest hope is that you sometimes come into my presence, even though I can't see you ~ And you are protecting me. Smiling next to me. Keeping us together, throughout time and dimension. |
| See you on the other side......Rayaldo Nova |
| 10/11/05~ Lilly note: This was written as kind of a cleansing tool. I wanted to write something for Rayaldo to go into cyberspace. Maybe he'll see it here. Yes, I've moved on since the writing of this. Actually, writing this is what helped me to do so. Some of the feelings put into this writing are the same. Some have changed. What is lasting, though, is that I like to think Rayaldo is watching over me. Like a guardian angel. One thing I'm sure of... Ray helped me find Mark. :) |