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Happy Birthday, dp |
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2/4/04 |
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Your birthday's coming soon. |
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Home |
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Storybook |
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(But it's also the day you died. Last year). |
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Why? I can't stop asking myself, why did you do it? I don't know if you ever realized how much of the world you had. No, I didn't know your last years. But I knew you. And I knew that you could always do anything you wanted. I'm sorry you couldn't find your way back. The real you inside and underneith, well that person was beautiful. I'm sort of beyond wishing you'd heal. For us, I mean. But I'm still thinking of you. Every day. And it's kind of like you still live.
(all the memories of you).
I wonder where you are. I'm constantly hoping you found your peace. I just wish I knew if you have. I really wish you'd have called me first. Though I'm not sure if there was anything I could have done to help you. Your desparate moments... were always just a bit too much for me. (I really tried, though).
(As long as I could. I tried).
I wish you'd known how much you had. I wish you'd taken your responsibilities. Did something for yourself. And your children. But it's really too late for that. ( I can't help it, though).
Peace be with you, dp. Wherever you are. I miss you. The real you. Not who you became. I hope you're soaring high with Angels. Please let me know. If
you can.
(I really just want to know how you are). |
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10/11/05 ~ Lilly note: I wrote this for someone who was a very big part of my life. It wasn't always a fun ride, though. Sometimes exhausting. Sometimes downright horrible. I believe there are processes in which we must experience to be able to come out the other side. This person was such an influence... (remember... not always a positive one). Happy Birthday represents the feelings I'd had when this was written. Lately; my feelings are not at all reflected by this writing. Lately, I'm going through some more negative, ugly feelings [inspired by this individual] that I'd not let myself go through. I'm allright with this part of it, though. I really think it's a positive thing to feel the negative stuff as well. It helps me to put the whole picture into perspective. It helps me to finally get through this part of my life; whole again. Finally |
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