I sat in the garage most of the day. Because we had our garage sale. You know. I earned a total of $29.75 from my stuff. I took all of my Barbie stuff away because my next door neightbor said I could get a lot more from this doll show. YAY! I'm going to be non-rich! Not that I'm not rich already. I'm becoming poor. Spending $60 almost each time going out is not good. I went to the fair today with Em and Mary. I only spent around $20. GO ME! I had a really good time. We were stalking people. I got to talk to Lindsey. That was good. She was beating me up. Ha. What a loser. I wrote something about her. I'll post it at the end of the entry. My mom is making me clean the house tomorrow and MY ROOM! Just because you can't see my floor doesn't mean my room is dirty. Ha. Thanks Mary for commenting on my message board. She's a great friend. She actually takes the time to write to me..unlike everyone else who reads this stuff and leaves. What is up with that, huh? No clue here. Ok I think I'm going to go now. Here's the thing I wrote.

I�m sitting here gritting my teeth. Trying to hold back my tears. No clue of why I want to cry. The tears are building up. Becoming so strong. I�m thinking about all the good times I�ve had with people. I�m remembering all the friends I�ve lost. All the friends I�ve gained. I was just standing there. People passing by. Not knowing how I was feeling deep inside of me. I myself didn�t even know what was happening in my mind. In my heart. I saw her there. She�s still my friend. I considered her one of my best friends. It�s really weird how they can just disappear from your life like that. Without the person not knowing how they changed your life. How they were always there for you no matter what. But sooner or later friends come and friends go. I see her standing there. I tell my friend that that�s her. I say her name softly. Wanting her to hear but at the same time not wanting to be noticed at all. My friend says her name. Louder this time. She looks at me, smiles, then walks my way. I feel awkward inside. Not knowing what I will say and if I do say something, wondering if I�ll screw up the words. She approaches me. Looking as wonderful as she always does. Dressed up so nice. Unlike me who wears tons of jewelry, baggy pants, super hero shirts. She is just beautiful. No matter how she would dress. We talked for about 5 minutes. It was the best conversation I�ve had with her in a long time. I rarely talk to her in person. Even online we don�t talk much. I�m not sure how I�m feeling. All I know is that I feel as if I want to cry. I just want to cry over her? My friend says that maybe I miss her. Yes, that is it. I miss her so much. I miss all the times where we would spend an hour on the phone laughing so hard. Or where we would talk online for hours. Talking about this and that until one of us had to get off. So yes, I do miss her. Things will never be like they used to be. Maybe it�s for the better. I just hate holding on to something that isn�t worth anything. Friendship? We�re still friends like I said. Just not as close. I can live with that. I think.

ended counseling @ 3:17am