Well I've managed to just push every one of my best friends away from me up till the point of where they hate me. I'm so fucked up. ...I have betrayed Mary. I pushed Shannon away so much that she probably doesn't want to talk to me anymore. MaryM is mad at me. Anonymous was disappointed in me. Lets just say this person's name was 'Chad'. I talked to 'Chad' last night and for some reason 'Chad' just didn't seem the same. It was as if 'Chad' had changed. I didn't feel comfortable talking to 'Chad'. And then Mallory wants me to hate her. After everyone turned against me all I wanted was to talk with Mallory. I knew she would make me feel better. But having her tell me to hate her. No. I couldn't do that. I'm just so fed up with my life right now. No, not my life. I"m fed up with the way I am. The way I treat people. I want people to help me so much, but instead I just push them away as if they don't matter. Why am I doing this? It's too late now. I feel as if I've lost all the people that matter the most to me. Except my family. They don't know how I feel though. They don't know I 32120 again. I mean I'm trying so hard to keep it covered. I'm wearing all of my bracelets again, mainly on my left wrist, and I'm having to always keep my sleeves down instead of pushed up. I have to wait for the scar to at least appear, then start fading away. I'm in so much shit right now. But I shouldn't be complaining. I put all this hell on myself. I created it all and now I have to live with the consequences. So for everyone that I've hurt. I am sorry. Please forgive my sin. (I updated the Friends section)

ended anger management @ 2:57pm