Damnit I forgot my anti-depressant today. I can still be happy without it. Just not as happy as I want to be. Rian told me that me being 'this' happy depresses her. Ugh. Nothing is ever right. I'm in such a pissy mood right now. Everything is just wrong. I hate living right now. I don't know why. I just do. AHH! (SCREAMS) I didn't talk to my mom much when she got home. I just laid on the couch. In the van she asked why I haven't said much, I told her why. She told me that could be a possiblity. WELL NO FUCKING DUH. Grr. Then when I got home..I was in a EVEN pissier mood! My dad was asking why I thought the theme for FNL this year was better than the one we had in 5th grade. WTF! The fact that I had to ask him three fucking times to repeat himself pissed me off. I started walking towards the house and he asked where I was going. I said, "This way!" He said something about me going with my mom. I told him I didn't want to. Then he said "What if the car breaks down?" I said, "I DON'T CARE!" My mom then told me to go take my pill. Ha. I hate my dad. I hate Nathan. I hate myself more than anything. I'm my own problem. Nothing else. GOD! I just want to go sit and cry. But I can't do that. I'm not allowed. I won't let myself. I have to be physically hurt or so sad that I finally start to cry. But to just sit and cry out of no where. No. I can't do that. FUCK! I hate that. I hate me. UGH! I'm sorry for being all pissy. I know you don't want me complaining. I know you don't want to hear my 'fake' problems. Yes, they are 'fake' problems. They aren't real. I'm not real. What I feel, just isn't real. I'M FAKE. I'M A FUCKING FAKE, OK? I need to just go up to my room and think about this one person. That will make me feel better. I'm..I don't know anymore. BYE!

ended anger management @ 6:40pm