As I slowly fall down to die.
(12/20/02)
I see all my life flashed before my eyes.
It's full of shame; it’s full of pain.
All of it seemed to drive me insane.
Then I see your face.
No, I could never replace any of it.
I hope you remember that I did exist.
As I slowly fall down to die.
I see nothing, nothing but a bright light.
I must be blind.
I’m no longer kind.
I’m so mean.
Yet the words of anger I speak are quite clean.
Why do I have this hateful life?
Why was it full of all this strife?
Maybe I should have ended it with a knife.
I really do hate my life.
As I slowly fall down to die.
I feel the tears flowing from my eyes.
I can’t control them.
I know through the years I have sinned.
I'll try to forget them all.
But all I do nowadays is trip and fall.
Don’t I do anything else?
I’m nothing but a failure.
I’m nothing but space that has been wasted.
My blood in my veins, I have tasted.
I slit the wrist, blood pours out.
I try not to let out a painful shout.
As I slowly fall down to die.
All I do is begin to lie.
I’m obsessed with being depressed.
If I’m happy I should be fine.
But being depressed is what is needed in my mind.
My memories are flashed before my bloodshot eyes.
Now and then I begin to cry.
I don't really know why; I don't really care why.
All I know is that I'll never see you.
Nothing between us will ever be true.
I finally fell to the floor.
I wish I would have before.
My life is gone.
I just wish I could've stayed strong.
