When I say that I love an invisible nobody. I'm talking about Mallory. I'm only saying she's an invisible nobody (not that she is a nobody to me) because I barely talk to her anymore. It's actually like I'm obsessing over air. Because we never talk. I do love her though. Even if we don't communicate as much as we used to. I wish she got on more often though. I miss her so much. I don't want her to take this in the wrong way when I say 'invisible nobody'. She's not invisible to me or a nobody. I just can�t find any other way of saying it. What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to feel? It�s so hard to like someone that isn�t there. I get so worried nowadays. If she hasn�t been online for a really long time I think that she killed herself. I hate when I feel that way. But what else am I supposed to think? Huh? I was just thinking today�why am I obsessed with her? Why am I in love with her? She�s a zillion miles away. What is keeping us together? We�re not even together. So why am I wishing? Dreaming�Hoping�that we could be together? So many questions. Very few answers. Why do I love her? �because she makes me happy. She cheers me up every time I�m depressed. Every time I see her get online my heart begins to race as I wait for her to IM me. I don�t know why I don�t IM her. I should. Because since she means so much to me then that would be something I should do. Right? That made no sense, I know. I tried so hard over SpringBreak (when I was thinking about her) to figure out if I loved her or if it was just infatuation. You know it�s really hard to figure that out. I thought about her every day over SpringBreak. Does that mean anything? Probably not. I wish it did. But�I don�t know. Sorry for wasting your time. And I�m sorry Mallory for every time I�ve hurt you. Sorry. I love you.