I'm losing it...don't you understand? (SCREAMS)
cut free for the past month or so. Nothing really to be proud of. I still feel the addiction inside of me. Trying to fight it's way out and take control. I'm fighting it as best as I can. I want to cut still. I haven't started back up again. Hopefully I won't. It's just a part of me. It always will be. Even though I only did it for a short period of time. It's still there. I'm dieing to cut. I want to do it. I keep thinking that if I cut myself once no one will know. It's like when you want a cookie. You're thinking to yourself. What harm will one cookie be? It's just one. So? What harm will one cut be? A whole lot if you think about it. Many people know now. I don't care. I told them myself! I had to get it out. Do You Understand? They all must know. Everyone. Every single f*cker out there. Hear my SCREAMS! Understand my ANGER! You need to understand me. Yeah, me. Why don't you yet? Why don't you get it. I've expressed so much! What is wrong with you? Why are you so dumb?
-----I give them all hings. Guiding them in. Trying to help them understand me & what I feel. My thoughts. Evil thoughts. All full of hatred. CRAVING. I'm craving to cut. I need to do it but I must stay strong. I must put on a smile for the audience. SO they think I'm ok. Even though I'm not. Do you hear what I'm trying to say? Addiction. I'm so addicted. Cut. (SCREAMS)-----