| A Sound Theory on the Virtue of Beer A heard of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the heard is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones ast hte back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the heard as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest. Im much the say way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowerst brain calls. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more effcient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers, and that's why beer is so GOOD for you! |
| Signs You Have a Hangover: 1. You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's pets. 2. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "stay still." 3. Looking at yourself in the mirror incduces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint. 4. Your'd rather have a pencil jammed up your nose then be exposed to sunlight. 5. You set aside as entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet. 6. You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in the fetal position. 7. The barthroom reminds you of a carnival barker shouting, "Step right up and give it a whril!" 8. All day long your motto is ,"Never again." 9. You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed. 10. Your natural response to "Good morning," is "Shut up!" |
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